Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
BIG PUFFY NIPS
Mar 7, 2007

College Slice
Predict the result of a theoretically possible faceoff between any eligible candidates in the 2016 election or primaries in this thread. Please dont argue about the chances of said faceoff or other peoples politics or whatevs :justpost:

HIllary Clinton vs. Marco Rubio
After being verbally eviscerated for close to an hour during the first debate, a sweating and stammering Rubio audibly shits himself on national TV. Despite this gaffe he still goes on to capture 45% of the popular vote.

Donald "The Donald" Trump vs. Bernie "Superstalin" Sanders
Unable to believe the election is not an incredibly high value SNL skit, not a single American votes. The only ballots cast are by the contenders themselves, leading to a Trump presidency (New York is worth more electoral votes than Vermont).

Martin O'Malley vs. Carly Fiorina
As the candidate with the most name recognition Jill Stein wins the presidency in a landslide.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

walgreenslatino
Jun 2, 2015

Lipstick Apathy

Sonofsilversign posted:

As the candidate with the most name recognition Jill Stein wins the presidency in a landslide.

lol



Lindsey Graham vs. Hillary Clinton

A historic female presidency is thwarted because most of the electorate thinks Lindsey Graham is a woman

walgreenslatino
Jun 2, 2015

Lipstick Apathy
President Barack Hussein Obama vs. [UNOPPOSED]

The Usurper declares martial law and suspends term limits, ushering in 1000 years of darkness

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!



Rick Perry/Ben Carson vs. Hillary Clinton/Elizabeth Warren

Perry breaks down in the middle of the final debate, and lets out a 30 minute hate-filled screed at the thought of being surrounded by minorities and women who refuse to quietly do as he says.

He narrowly wins the election.

Civilized Fishbot
Apr 3, 2011
Bush vs. Clinton

George Bush narrowly wins his third term in office.

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


George Bush vs George W. Bush vs Jeb Bush vs Barbara Bush vs Laura Bush

Bush wins

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


two big fuckers

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007


Barbara Bush could probably win on a Trump-esque campaign of saying whatever the gently caress she feels like saying

Captain_Maclaine
Sep 30, 2001

Every moment I'm alive, I pray for death!
Rand Paul's hair versus Donald Trump's hairpiece

Results ultimately unknown due to total communication blackout engulfing the entire continental United States, which future generations of Canadians and Mexicans nickname "the silent emptiness."

Venom Snake
Feb 19, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo
Rick Perry versus Hillary Clinton

Rick Perry breaks down in tears on stage at the first national debate after Hillary beats him at a pull-up contest. When Hillary was asked how she became so strong her only answer was "demographics".

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012


Lipstick Apathy

Civilized Fishbot posted:

Bush vs. Clinton

George Bush narrowly wins his third term in office.
This is the correct prediction. Going further it will be:

Bush/Walker vs. Clinton/Castro.

And Bush/Walker wins.

walgreenslatino
Jun 2, 2015

Lipstick Apathy
Bernie Sanders vs. Scott Walker

Bernie concedes in mid-August after an attack ad featuring only the words "Socialist Jew" destroys his campaign in a single afternoon.


:siren: SERIOUS ANSWER :siren:

Scott Walker vs. Hillary Clinton

The two most unlikeable humans in existence duke it out. Walker is the anyone-but-Romney the GOP base has been looking for, but has very little crossover appeal on his own; Clinton is reviled by all but Dems are willing to swallow the bitter pill. It's close, but the new American demographic reality means Hil edges it and wins anyway.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Abner Cadaver II
Apr 21, 2009

TONIGHT!
Lincoln Chafee vs. Mark Everson

Everyone forgets the executive branch exists for the next four years.

  • Locked thread