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Will Stitch be back in to work the UFC? This poll is closed. |
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|---|---|---|---|
| Yes |
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5 | 8.93% |
| No |
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19 | 33.93% |
| If he does I hope he brings my dad back from buying cigarettes |
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32 | 57.14% |
| Total: | 56 votes | ||
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I took it all for granted But how was I to know That you'd be letting go Now it cuts like a knife https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VZhSkREYBc Welcome to the UFC on FOX 16 GDT! The main card is 8 p.m. ET July 25 on, as the name implies, FOX. Well gang, this is a brave new era. An era where everyone wears identical pants, and the best cutman in the business isn't there to patch things up and make the agony of defeat a little less painful.  Stitch was so goddamn good, the Klitschko brothers schedule fights based on his availability. And he's gone, all because of the worst jerseys of all time. But maybe it's not so bad. Hell, just a few months ago in The Year Of Our Lord 2015, we watched Kimbo Slice vs. Ken Shamrock in the main event of a fairly major promotion. I think this means we've returned to the JUST BLEED ERA!  Here's hoping none of these gushy ladies and gentlemen find themselves on the wrong end of a doctor's stoppage, because their odds of doing so have improved. FOR THE UFC BANTAMWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP  TJ Dillashaw (c) vs.  Renan “Outrageously Hi-Res” Barao Last time these guys fought, TUF 14 runner-up TJ Dillashaw surprised the world by coming out of nowhere and kicking the everloving poo poo out of Renan Barao before the champ finally went down in the fifth, relinquishing his crown. TJ benefited in a huge way from the tutelage of Dwayne “Bang” Ludwig as he really pulled it all together and became one of the division's most formidable strikers in short order after Ludwig came to Team Alpha Male. That said, despite being a relative unknown before his seemingly overnight success, Dillashaw was never a guy to sleep on. His only losses in his MMA career are to John Dodson and Raphael Assuncao (the latter of which was a split decision that earned Fight of the Night.) Although his bout against very-short-notice-replacement Joe Soto was less dominant, he still secured a round 5 KO in almost the exact same way. Look for cutting sharp angles, insanely quick movement and setting up a big head kick after wearing down his opponent. The last time these two were scheduled to fight, Renan Barao shocked the world by dropping a TKO to a bathtub. I'd say look for Barao to show some real urgency to finish the fight and regain the belt but his last outing against Mitch Gagnon was an outrageously tepid affair until he pulled out an arm-triangle choke, and the bulk of the fight leadup for this weekend's bout was Barao claiming the man who beat him so badly he probably forgot significant portions of his childhood has “Barbie hands,” so he is probably gonna lose real bad. Just as well, tbqh. Women's Bantamweight  Miesha Tate vs.  Jessica Eye Miesha Tate is good at nothing but competent at most things, which makes her a force to be reckoned with in the shallow waters of W135. She's dating Bryan Caraway, who is a fucknuckle. She was nicknamed “Takedown” before switching to “Cupcake” because the latter does not imply she knows how to perform a takedown. As a psychological self-preservation mechanism, is impossible for the human brain to remember her “fight” with Rin Nakai. Despite all of this, she is the only woman to last longer than 5 minutes against champ Ronda Rousey. This fight is a No. 1 contender bout to determine who gets the next crack at Jessica Eye, who is 1-1, 1 NC in the UFC, stands to earn a title shot. That's the shape in which Ronda has left her division. Despite her struggles in the big show however, Eye does have a formidable 10-1 record outside of the UFC, only losing to an (admittedly undersized) Aisling Daly. She is also the person on this bloodbath of a card to be more notable for drawing blood from someone else — she drat near punched Leslie Smith's ear right off her head.  http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/11/17/1416219628947_wps_32_UFC_fighter_Leslie_Smith_.jpg Lightweight  Edson Barboza vs.  Paul Felder OP's note: neither of these people are Anthony Pettis or Myles Jury. (In the case of the latter, that's a good thing.) Barboza has Jose Aldo's legs and Brendan Schaub's chin and idea of grappling defense. This leads to objectively great or funny performances every time (unless you're Bobby Green.) He has three leg-kick TKOs on his record. He was also put away by Stupid Unimportant Person Jamie Varner. If this doesn't get Fight of the Night it's almost a lock for a Performance award one way or the other. Paul Felder is an undefeated fighter who's relatively new to the UFC. He'd probably be called a prospect, but he's 31. His UFC debut wasn't particularly noteworthy, earning a split decision over Jason Saggo. After that he decided to be the last good thing on UFC 182 and knock Danny Castillo into the previous month, earning himself a $50,000 bonus. Lightweight  Joe Lauzon vs.  Takanori Gomi Lauzon for Performance of the Night. Gomi for most Japanese rice lagers consumed shortly before and immediately after the fight. OTHER PEOPLE TO WATCH JUST BLEED FOX Prelims, 6 p.m. Light Heavyweight Gian Villante vs. Tom Lawlor Lightweight Jim Miller vs. Danny Castillo Welterweight Kenny Robertson vs. Ben Saunders Bantamweight Eddie Wineland vs. Bryan Caraway Early Fight Pass Prelims (Which You Should Cancel and Not See In Solidarity With Reddit Dot Com), 4:15 p.m. Lightweight Daron Cruickshank vs. James Krause Lightweight Ramsey Nijem vs. Andrew Holbrook Women's Bantamweight Jessamyn Duke (who is somehow still in the UFC) vs. Elizabeth Phillips Welterweight Zak Cummings vs. Dominique Steele Official Weigh-Ins, 5 p.m. ET July 24 http://www.ufc.com/media/fight-night-chicago-official-weigh-in-2015 OFFICIAL MMA SNACK RATING: Black pudding  INGREDIENTS 4 cups fresh pig's blood 2 1/2 teaspoons salt 1 1/2 cups steel-cut (pinhead) oatmeal 2 cups finely diced pork fat (or beef suet), finely chopped 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped 1 cup milk 1 1/2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 1 teaspoon ground allspice PREPARATION 1 Preheat the oven to 325°F and grease 2 glass loaf pans. (If you don't have glass loaf pans, line metal loaf pans with parchment to keep the blood sausage from reacting with the metal and creating an off-flavor.) Stir 1 teaspoon of salt into the blood. 2 Bring 2 1/2 cups water to a boil and stir in the oats. Simmer, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes, until just tender, not mushy. 3 Pour the blood through a fine sieve into a large bowl to remove any lumps. Stir in the fat, onion, milk, pepper, allspice and remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons salt. Add the oatmeal and mix to combine. Divide the mixture between the loaf pans, cover with foil, and bake for 1 hour, until firm. Cool completely. Seal in plastic wrap and wither freeze for extended use or store in the refrigerator for up to a week. 4 To serve, cut a slice about 1/2-inch thick off the loaf. Fry in butter or oil until the edges are slightly crisped and browned.
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Jul 24, 2015 06:02
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Lloyd Boner posted:This card is pretty drat good Yeah I'm pretty bummed I couldn't make it to this one live 
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Jul 24, 2015 06:29
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E4C85D38 posted:Are there any particular prelim fights I should be looking for? I'm going to be doing some work, but I can tune in for a few. Wineland Caraway stands out, as does Miller Castillo. But I agree with fatherdog, you can't go wrong on the televised portion.
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Jul 24, 2015 22:43
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Turned it on just in time to see Cummings whoop up on a dude. Now the real shitshow begins.
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Jul 25, 2015 21:32
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CommonShore posted:
Have you never heard the phrase "Boston Strong"?
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Jul 25, 2015 21:34
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that cutman is advertising for "Boston Strong," which I assume is a gym of some kind
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squarerandom posted:I still have no loving clue what Catch Wrestling is and how is it different than regular wrestling for MMA? Catch wrestling is a type of wrestling that is popular in Japan that is basically pro wrestling but not makebelieve. It has throws and submissions and poo poo. Actual wrestling is probably a lot better.
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Jul 25, 2015 21:35
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These are ufc undisputed submission animations.
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Jul 25, 2015 21:49
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Bubba Smith posted:that kind of sucks for Duke. She'd have a great shot of finishing the bout if it were a 5 rounder Could you imagine a card mained by Jessamyn Duke?
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Jul 25, 2015 21:56
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Seems bad, imo
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Jul 25, 2015 22:26
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squarerandom posted:It's AN INVISIBLE COLLAR turning into the Chernobyl Pumpkin PIe guard, he really needs to turn his shoulder OUT of socket and if he can turn upside down while doing it, he can submit him with a Klondike Clockhold, oh nevermind he's out. Qft
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Jul 25, 2015 23:49
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I want him to take the right arm so his corner will just shut up
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Jul 25, 2015 23:58
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fatherdog posted:Saunders probably should win this 29-28 because he won every second of the first round up until he got dropped and he recovered immediately, but at least one judge is probably going to disagree Zounds!
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Jul 26, 2015 00:01
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That dude shoulda taken the NC. I sure would.
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Jul 26, 2015 01:39
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Why is Ronda bulking up so much?
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Jul 26, 2015 02:00
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Dillashaw is content to stay right in front of Barao a lot more this time which worries me, but he's still winning handily.
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Jul 26, 2015 03:05
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drat son
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Jul 26, 2015 03:19
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He deliberately enacted a much dumber game plan and still whooped Barao pillar to post. He's also got a pretty good chin that'll hold up against anyone who's not Dodson it seems. Dillashaw owns.
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Jul 26, 2015 03:33
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Marching Powder posted:Dillashaw would gently caress up Dodson now, imo. Especially rounds 3-5. Oh absolutely. I just meant apparently that is the exact amount of power it takes to put Dillashaw away - Barao landed one or two this time that would have at very least sucked the momentum out of most other fighters, but TJ seemed unphased.
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Jul 26, 2015 03:38
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He realized he was only in middle school and if he could take time away from fighting to just train and pray he could become the true Warrior God intended instead of lose to Barao and Faber real bad, iirc
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Jul 26, 2015 06:34
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colonel_korn posted:Can you spot TJ's family and friends?
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Jul 28, 2015 18:22
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