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Bobby Deluxe
May 9, 2004

this changes nothing, i am still dead inside





oh no we have been moved to gbs

solefald was thread queen

jose is actual queen

bobby deluxe is op

fluo is still dead

pro thread notes:

this is the shitposting outlet of the ukmt thread and is therefore left leaning in its politics

if you are a neo lib getting butthurt about cultural marxism, please feel free to start your own thread and the free market will naturally dictate that people will simply start to use that one

previous thread for reference

do not give out personal details someone is killing goons and burying them under his/her patio!!!

our current leader is dominic cummings boris johnson who is what would happen if you forced electricity through enough pudding that it became not only sentient, but horny

we as a nation currently hate immigrants, the unemployed and disableds, but we are strangely ok with the gays right now. some hate the trans but we flippin love them in this thread.

we long as a nation for the sweet release of death now that the glorious corbynista revolution is no more

a bap and a bun and a cob are mostly the same thing but a stottie is not (its much bigger)

best monster munch = pickled onion (flaming hot in close second, roast beef no)

best meal deal = tesco but check with ratty

thread game: probably still rocket league on ps4 witcher 3 with our friend gerald of riviera


americans are welcome to post about the uk but just remember you did not win the war for us christopher lee did


here is the uk:



thamk you god bless the queen

Bobby Deluxe fucked around with this message at 16:19 on Jul 6, 2020

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Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007



spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


UK Overcrowded shithole full of SJWs that want even more people in even though they can't even afford a home due to ridiculous prices based on demand.

Close thread, job done.

spud fucked around with this message at 11:32 on Jul 28, 2015

mfcrocker
Jan 31, 2004





Hot Rope Guy

Fluo. Taffman. HELL IN A CELL.

freelop
Apr 28, 2013

Where we're going, we won't need fries to see





spud posted:

UK Overcrowded shithole full of SJWs that want even more people in even though they can't afford a home.

Close thread, job done.

No we hate the immurgrents bringing over their musliamic laws and don't want more people

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



It's called a loving cob

mfcrocker posted:

Fluo. Taffman. HELL IN A CELL.

It's going to end up with them bucking. I can feel the tension.

The Big Taff Man
Nov 22, 2005


Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16


Fan of Britches

Im making it a thread promise to not mention my least favourite poster in this thread

also I dont play rugby wtf

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

i'm basically gonna shill brewuk.co.uk because i've used them and they're good, and cheaper than amazon

ipa kits exist but the one i'm seeing seems to literally be "add boiling water to hopped syrup, top up with cold water" - like i don't see that failing but it's not really brewing, it's steeping a teabag. the good thing about this kit is that you get the beer ingredients, a storage barrel, a big fuckoff fermenting bin + airlock (possibly too big?), some steriliser, a hydrometer + thermometer, and some misc handy bits of plastic. it would be a decent start to see if you get workable booze out of it, and if you want to progress then, as per YTC's post above, you can use it as a basis for upgrading your kit

assuming you want to be a retard like me and buy all the kit all at once, you want:

  • two of these buckets with lids and airlocks; one to ferment in, and one to move your beer into for bottling once fermentation is over
  • a rubber hose for getting beer out of your bucket and for beating the poo poo out of dogs
  • a big pot; larger the better, really, but 15l is very workable.
  • big spoon, for stirring pot
  • starsan; this poo poo is magic. 5ml goes in 5 litres of water and will sterilise whatever it touches; the diluted form is good for ages, and is also food-safe and tasteless. if used correctly it will last for ages; i, being a retard, get through this like water.
  • a big sieve
  • a floaty thermometer
  • two slap-on therms for your fermenters
  • two hydrometers; one as a spare. this is essential, as you measure fermentation progress by taking samples and checking density. if you bottle stuff that's still fermenting you have possibly created bombs
  • turkey baster for taking samples to put the hydrometer in
  • bottles and caps; buy caps, re-use bottles
  • a bottle filling stick; this attaches to the other end of your hose
  • bottle capper
  • muslin bags for holding grains for steeping

imo, dedicated cleaner is not needed; just use soap and water and rinse.

start with extract brews, get the plan down; you need hops, malt extract, grains for steeping, and yeast. i have not had any issues buying live yeast but it's very possible that you might; maybe stick to dry yeast to start. you will need normal table sugar for carbing the beer when you bottle.

i would advise starting with a simple pale ale that's about 5%, as per the above post. they're hoppy, meaning they're a bit more forgiving of any accidental bacterial contamination, and they use non-insane amounts of pale malt, which means the yeast won't choke and die and fail to ferment everything. yeast doesn't really like complex sugars and you get more of those in dark malts

i will not do a full recipe but the broad strokes are:

  • start heating ~5l water in pan. boil kettle
  • sterilise your fermenting bucket and work surfaces while you wait.
  • once you have 2/3rds of a pan at 75C, add your steeping grains. steep for half an hour; your water is now wort
  • remove grains. heat to 100C either by adding boiling water or by waiting
  • add malt extract. add your 60mins hops; start timing
  • add extra hops when you're meant to
  • turn off the heat after 1hr. everything that touches the beer after this point must be sterile. everything.
  • you are supposed to cool your wort by running a wort chiller through it. i simply seal everything up and leave it overnight
  • once beer is at right temperature, take initial hydrometer sample and record the density. put yeast in it, attach airlock
  • wait 8hrs; realise yeast is going mental.
  • wait 3 days for bubbling to die down; take hydrometer sample
  • take hydrometer samples every couple days until the density levels off, probably at about 1.013 for the above recipe but if it's not that level who cares
  • when beer has stopped fermenting, prepare to rack it off the yeast into another bucket. work out how much sugar you need to carb it, boil up that much sugar, add to the bucket you're racking into, then put the beer on top of the sugar solution
  • place in bottles

after your first try you'll realise what else you need to make life easier for yourself. then do brew-in-a-bag all-grain recipes once you've got the hang of things

Jose fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Aug 6, 2017

Fluo
May 25, 2007



Bobby add to op: taff is a ginger

Vitamins
May 1, 2012



Bobby Deluxe posted:



vitamins: same av, problematic


in it voted 5


Jose posted:

vitamins should change his av

hmmm yes maybe but triggering bobby deluxe seems p fun

freelop
Apr 28, 2013

Where we're going, we won't need fries to see





Taff enjoys football management and running in a park

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





Vitamins posted:

in it voted 5


hmmm yes maybe but triggering bobby deluxe seems p fun

it was some other poster that has a near identical av i was thinking of nevermind

Vitamins
May 1, 2012



Jose posted:

it was some other poster that has a near identical av i was thinking of nevermind

i have also seen that person post and thought it was bd but it turned out not to be

Fluo
May 25, 2007



freelop posted:

Taff enjoys football management and running in a park at night

Does he still play with Bristol Rovers

The Big Taff Man
Nov 22, 2005


Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16


Fan of Britches

Here you go bobby I updated some with notes from my notebook

pedericko: sells bad tasting saussies at markets across the uk and is the current thread mvp (Most vicious pleb).He offers a goon discount on his sausages if you ask him "do you have stairs in your sausage house"

the big taff man: rugby guy, he keeps a notebook on all posters (getting married soon), loves arranging goonmeets where fraction isnt invited.

party boat: northern, mysterious, watches anime, his favourite flavour of monster munch is the wrong one, idolises ross from friends

bozza: trains (like thomas not like arnie) plays in a marching band, is bald, marching band seriously? no really thats no joke.

jose: northern, not so mysterious loves smoking meats and sous vising meats and meats

fraction: kills dogs and dates older women also moans about her job a lot and secretly prefers cats

down jacket fetish: classic bants, loves a cheeky nandos, prefers a sea bass to a kebab, drinks special brew (but from a glass), goes to nandos for the ambience, his picture was once used in a daily sport article for the story "sex with tesco value lasagne blistered my bellend", makes his own fudge - no one asked if he packs it

phoon: old man, lives in birmingham, accompanied fraction in killing several dogs at crufts. hes old as hell, just make old jokes at him, you can repeat them and he wont realise as hes so old he will have forgotten the first time you said them, watche countdown for the quiz element and gets annoyed when the camera focuses on Rachel Riley rather than the numbers and letters

gnarlyhotep: kills thread every few hundred pages, top mod, doesnt understand this thread

mfcrocker: kills goons and buries them under a patio, LOVES social justice and saving the oppressed, even when they dont need saving

ratjaculation: imagines how good people are at smash bros no commitment in anything, loves the national trust, panda pop fan (not sure which flavour he likes best if its not blue raspberry then he can gently caress off), posting not as good as his avatar

vitamins: same av, problematic - Ive written down "spiders fall out of trousers?" but im not sure why

bobby deluxes fat mam: i am not happy about this trope but what the hey, taff is payin the bills her son is a failed weather wizard

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



I choose to read them as personals and decided I would bang mfcrocker and ratjaculation :bigtran:

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





UncleBlazer posted:

I choose to read them as personals and decided I would bang mfcrocker and ratjaculation :bigtran:

nsa only

also dat op & taff edit lol

Ratjaculation fucked around with this message at 11:49 on Jul 28, 2015

The Big Taff Man
Nov 22, 2005


Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16


Fan of Britches

UncleBlazer posted:

I choose to read them as personals and decided I would bang mfcrocker and ratjaculation :bigtran:

Obviously the only reason you didnt pick me was because it said I was getting married soon

Slash
Apr 7, 2011



Where did the Monster Munch go? Roast Beef is the best flavour for reference.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



The Big Taff Man posted:

Obviously the only reason you didnt pick me was because it said I was getting married soon

I've seen you on the toilet. I think more than once. All the romance is gone

The Big Taff Man
Nov 22, 2005


Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16


Fan of Britches

Slash posted:

Where did the Monster Munch go? Roast Beef is the best flavour for reference.

add this guy to the "wrong" list

UncleBlazer posted:

I've seen you on the toilet. I think more than once. All the romance is gone

if you check my most recent pics on twitter i think i tweeted one to someone this morning

Pedricko
Apr 7, 2008

the absolute wurst

That's not how you spell my name and I'm not even in the uk

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





whats your twitter sn taff?

The Big Taff Man
Nov 22, 2005


Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16


Fan of Britches

Ratjaculation posted:

whats your twitter sn taff?

Its @TaffMaster

Dravs
Mar 8, 2011

You've done well, kiddo.

There aren't any biscuits in the OP, can this be fixed please?

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





i can understand people having a difference of opinion on whether pickled onion or flaming hot are the best monster munch but roast beef smh

Fluo
May 25, 2007



Jose posted:

i can understand people having a difference of opinion on whether pickled onion or flaming hot are the best monster munch but roast beef smh

Remember vanilla ice cream flavour lol

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Do they still sell snaps in corner shops? Those and transformer crisps are godly.

Fluo
May 25, 2007



UncleBlazer posted:

Do they still sell snaps in corner shops? Those and transformer crisps are godly.

Space raiders were terrible

The Big Taff Man
Nov 22, 2005


Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16


Fan of Britches

Ratjack I really hope the dude who just followed me on twitter is you

Kidney Stone
Dec 28, 2008

The worst pain ever!


The Big Taff Man posted:

Ratjack I really hope the dude who just followed me on twitter is you

Nope, that was me.

The Big Taff Man
Nov 22, 2005


Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16


Fan of Britches

Kidney Stone posted:

Nope, that was me.

drat, you really love glory holes

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





Kidney Stone posted:

Nope, that was me.

just logged into my ancient twitter account, was following that guy from scrubs for some reason. i've never tweeted

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008




You left me out

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





feedmegin posted:

You left me out

nobody remembers a poster without an av

i think i need a new one

freelop
Apr 28, 2013

Where we're going, we won't need fries to see





Jose posted:

nobody remembers a poster without an av

i think i need a new one

Use Taff's old one to confuse the hell out of people

Fluo
May 25, 2007



freelop posted:

Use Taff's old one to confuse the hell out of people

Do this

sout
Apr 24, 2014



Fluo posted:

Space raiders were terrible

On the back of every Space Raiders packet it says that the aliens' favourite food is Space Raiders.
hosed up.

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless


Pillbug

best uk politician is the guy who skipped some important voting to play with lead dolls

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drunkill
Sep 25, 2007

me @ ur posting


Fallen Rib

How about that cricket game chaps?

- luv, oztrayla

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