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UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



It's called a loving cob

mfcrocker posted:

Fluo. Taffman. HELL IN A CELL.

It's going to end up with them bucking. I can feel the tension.

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UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



I choose to read them as personals and decided I would bang mfcrocker and ratjaculation :bigtran:

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



The Big Taff Man posted:

Obviously the only reason you didnt pick me was because it said I was getting married soon

I've seen you on the toilet. I think more than once. All the romance is gone

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Do they still sell snaps in corner shops? Those and transformer crisps are godly.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Party Boat posted:

Had some pickled "silver medal" onion with my lunch today, they were good but I was thinking of flaming hot

You're putting my feelings into words. You're the poet Monster Munch needs.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Miggles posted:

Hell compared to a coal mining village in Nottinghamshire...

Oh yeah? Well I live in Derby. Where's my rescue extradition to LA.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



I only ever eat the fudges and twirls out of gifted boxes of Heroes and now I've collected an inordinate amount of novelty sized chocolate because I can't bring myself to throw it out.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Fraction posted:

what's the likelihood of them NOT being full of creepy 50yr old blokes?

Literally 0%. Go and keep us informed though. You could up your poisoning repertoire to include old men AND dogs.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Bobby Deluxe posted:

drat this couch is heavy

Have you forgotten how they work again, Bobby? You go on top of the sofa, not the other way round.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Jose posted:

put some post rock gigs on.

Good god yes. Little annoyed I'm going to have to miss arctangent later this month.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Seen them four times and I'm sorry to say you missed out on something beautiful. They'll probably tour next year though, they're working on a new album now.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Whorelord posted:

I would like post rock but I feel like my head is disappearing up my arse when I listen to it

It attracts a lot of pseudo intellectuals. Just don't make out its deep or any better than any other genre. When you feel your rear end swallowing your head air guitar a bit.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Fluo posted:

If I have to hear one more person talk about how they had some mindblowing internal monologue from their experience of how ~*deep*~ 4'33" is god loving drat it

I'm lucky to have never encountered anyone who thought it was anything more than a bad loving joke.

Haaahaaa you think he's going to play but he just sits there. Wankers.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Whorelord posted:

The ones in Amsterdam

They all feel so seedy. Dampkring was the only one I enjoyed whilst living there, even then I'd buy and leave.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Gaz2k21 posted:

Watch grave encounters 2

Don't listen to this. There was never a Grave Encounters 2. Nope.

It Follows was really good, fantastic soundtrack. Housebound is a good horror comedy, first two V/H/S weren't bad.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Oh Bozza, I got a job at Balfour Beatty Rail working on their gauge engineering software. Did my first day so I feel entitled to be thanked every time a train doesn't crash into a bridge/another train.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Bozza posted:

I'll be asking you questions every time our signal sighting guy wants to try and sneak signals inside the installation handbook standard then!

Contrats, is that stuff that comes off the laser train thing?

That laser train is National Rail's but like me it resides and is slowly dying in Derby.

We have these lasersweep things instead

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



JFairfax posted:

the gently caress is a laser train?



Ha! I wish.

It's a train with a load of sensors on that shoots out white light around it and on the rails to take measurements. Not an unstoppable runaway train vaporising people unfortunately.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Vitamins posted:

is that for when they introduce new trains so they know the size tolerances or whatever or just general "we need to make sure the tracks/this bridge haven't moved enough to cause a derailment" stuff? this further proves that adding lasers can make anything interesting.

For other trains too, you got it! And platforms, and road signs. Err thang.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



freelop posted:

Is that including getting a black box?

Fraction normally goes for old rather than black box.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



I think you want the DnD thread

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



On Fridays I finish at half one

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Interesting conundrum. I slept with two women this weekend. Today I got a text from some number asking how I could have done that to this person and they want me to explain myself.

How do I say "who are you and this isn't really my fault" without sounding like a massive bell end. Because I sort of am. Help me UK thread, you're my only hope.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Phoon posted:

just ignore it or possibly reply claiming to be someone else

Evasive. My favourite suggestion.

Jose posted:

send them a photo of your dick

I can't quite get the lighting right.

goatface posted:

"Were we meant to be exclusive? When did we decide that?"

It's an angry boyfriend. I could ask him if he wants to be exclusive, couldn't hurt the situation.

The Big Taff Man posted:

I'm back to help. Tell me about these two women

I regret the first one, it's probably her. She seemed trouble. Second was lovely.


Taff damage control my life. Thought I'd never say that.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Jose posted:

did you know she had a boyfriend

Nope. Morally in the clear. A big reason why I can't really be bothered to reply.

Bozza posted:

Are these people in your immediate circle of friends? If no, gently caress it off and don't panic. If yes, ignore and hope it all blows over.

I've used this pro tactic before.

All signs point to ignore. I like this.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



de la peche posted:

Reply and say you don't want her any more, he can have her. Give him The Fear.

Ha!

The Big Taff Man posted:

I'd offer advice but it sounds like youve made a series of rookie mistakes here that frankly I cant understand. Who doesnt ask for proof of age and check the facebook relationship status of someone before engaging in sexual activity

gently caress, why am I only doing this now. Looks like she's engaged to this ginger who just runs in a park at weekends and posts on a comedy forum. Reckon I could have him.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



StoneOfShame posted:

Tell him you have an std but aren't going to tell him which one.

It's only clap. Nature's slap on the wrist.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



I am not a rapist.

And in a thread of dog poisoners and people who bury their blind dates under the patio, I wouldn't even be the worst.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Fraction posted:

I bet he hasn't raped anyone

You used to be cool, Fraction

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

i really want to believe you but this is exactly what a rapist would say

I laughed but it was an honest laugh, not an admission of guilt.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Dysgenesis posted:

Transform a snacks and stingers.

Snaps and cherry drops.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Bobby Deluxe posted:

white dogshit

When did this stop being a thing? I've just realised.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



I buy my beans from hasbean and grind them and put them in a cafetière. Thank you whichever goon recommended them around February

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Bozza posted:

I find Paloma Faith absurdly attractive.

Pffft. She's Lana Del Rey's ugly sister. Now there's a face you can plaster all over your walls and cut the eyes out of.

Aah to be young and in love.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Unless your favourite monster munch is pickled onion. Then you're dead to me.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



I can't tell because of the red eye but is it looking at you real shifty out of the corner of the eye like it doesn't trust you?

Was fraction behind you when you took this?

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



goatface posted:

Shove a tube down its throat and pour in some protein shakes.

This. Then make dog foie gras.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Spent the entire weekend just playing bass in my room. A thousand grown up responsibilities to face but... Meh.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Ratjaculation posted:

i got blistered and sent some bizarre snapchats last night so currently in hiding

Ha. Been there too many times. People don't care as much as you think.

Unless you sent yo dick.

UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



Party Boat posted:

are you a "sex pest" Uncle B?

Everything I do just comes across wrong I'm innocent. I swear to god I'm innocent.

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UncleBlazer
Jan 27, 2011



I only have Taff, bozza and solefald. What's everyone else's

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