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cynic
Jan 19, 2004





I thought I was getting shafted paying 1.2k for 2 cars, but I guess im old. In my opinion Audi drivers have overtaken the traditional BMW in the cuntyness stakes in the last decade or so. Although a chav in a 1-series and a white tracksuit did try to race me today.

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cynic
Jan 19, 2004





corn in the fridge posted:

she wants us to buy a house so im putting a set amount into my savings each month and she thinks that if i can afford to buy a ps4 then i should be putting that money towards the deposit instead it's all very frustrating

Do what my brother did and just hide it behind the PS2. Don't know why he bothered because she doesn't let him play computer games or masturbate anyway.

I have a week off because I need to use up my leave so I spent all mornin playing xbox with my son, and all afternoon coating the entire dining room floor with Lego and created a mosquito with a removeable heart, a remote control technics car with the worlds worst steering and a giant drill on it, and a friction powered stunt train featuring a lot of swords. Pretty good use of time off imho.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004






Really, she's really odd about bedroom matters. When he went to have his sperm tested, she made him take a photo of herself (fully clothed) to whack it to. Turned out her exessive drinking was responsible for their fertility issues though because despite what her mother always told her, a crate of wine a week is not loving normal.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Trauma Tank posted:

Become a brony , but for canals and or canal boats.

I used to work with a guy who did a canal boat holiday every year. Sounded nice, in a drink beer and see the sights way.

I did a canal boat holiday one year, 7 of us, nothing but pirate themed clothing, spent a week travelling about 60 miles utterly off our tits the entire time. I don't recall any sights as such. At least noone drowned.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





feedmegin posted:

I'm 38 where is my coffin and/or phylactery.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





The Big Taff Man posted:

I like going to food shows and finding fancy scotch eggs.

This is from pages back, but I just walked past a dedicated scotch egg shop in Worcester today, and it looked really, really very tasty, and I am definitely going back one day I don't have a grouchy 4-year-old in tow.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





I never had a student loan because I studied in the socialist republic of scotterland then hosed off to engerland to get a job in a place where I didn't have to hear Scottish accents except from big issue sellers.

True story, I was on the other side of the loving planet from the UK in Sydney, and there was a loving weedgie selling the big issue. And my loving neighbour was a fat string vest wearing mong from fauldhouse.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Gaz2k21 posted:

Just wait til you start having 2 day hangovers .....

I'm now so old I can't even get hangovers because I just have 2 pints then fall asleep. Also did the 'spoons this afternoon after the missus dragged me round all the shops, and it was the worst meal I've had in recent memory. Tragic even by chain pub standards. Roast dry as a camels arse, and also cold somehow.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:

Three is ace signal-wise if you live/work anywhere not rural, and going to get better if (when) Ofcom approve their buyout of o2, who own giffgaff. Also Feel At Home is bloody good if you travel places.

Their customer service phone people are idiots but mobile companies are universally terrible so that matters less.

I got good 3g off '3' while living about in the middle of nowhere (2 miles to the nearest tarmacced road, had its own well), and in my current office which is also a coverted barn in the middle of nowhere. I get unlimited gb per month too. Their customer service makes me want to murder a dude though.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





This loving week, washing machine broke, toaster broke, house broke, and loving rats decided to overwinter in our dining room carpet last night. And it's only loving monday.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





I live in a very pretty victorian house with original iron framed windows and it's freezing and draughty and everyone says 'what an amazing house' but really it's just full of spiders and bats and has no storage and what the gently caress use is a bread oven in this day and age anyway. Got brand new central heating though, and I'm slowly draft-proofing the place.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





DrWrestling69 posted:

You should join an orange band now you are in Glasgow. There was. A big one wandering about today for some reason and I had to explain to a confused Sudanese man what it was all about.

I used to work in Glasgow on the bands route, and it's wierd to watch. Why is there always a band of wee chavs off their tits marching alongside wearing Adidas? Actually why is Glasgow just full of wee chavs? I went to a nightclub called 'Viper' there few years ago and can you explain that too? 3 seperate people tried to pick a fight with me, and I ended up drinking with some clowns (actual circus clowns in facepaint)

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Hmm fours hours of last minute chrismas shopping followd by 2 hours of being stuck in traffic because the council thought digging up the main road in and out of the city was an excellent idea. Office christmas party tonight, a bunch of coders and a free bar what could possibly go wrong?

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





goatface posted:

Make sure you rush your drinking so you get the good stuff. Assuming you're going anywhere that has good stuff and they've included it in the "free" section.

Yeah, it's a fancy pub with very expensive food, and the free bar is just the boss saying 'I will pay the whole tab' like it makes up for never giving a christmas bonus.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Drinking whisky with a cold was a terrible idea and now my head wants to explode. Someone kill me and plant me under a patio.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Eating leftovers and drinking fancy beers from M&S. Got a giant box of Celebrations from someone, so going to get stuck into that in a few I think. CHRISTMAS.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





learnincurve posted:

I think they are more interested in the debate over "electric gates, convenient or crass?"

I have nice double wooden estate gates up onto my drive on my house in Scotland, but electric gates on the house in England and frankly the electric gates are a pain to maintain and slow, and the remotes have no range, but it's the colour and accessory choice of your Range Rover that defines crassness not the gates. You troglodyte.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Oscar Romeo Romeo posted:

No gates. Stone walls and an open entrance with a little elderly and slightly drunk man in a booth armed with a blunderbuss who potters out of the booth and shouts, "Who goes there!?" whenever the posty turns up.

Good plan noone ever, ever delivers here. I think the first week living here a courier threw something over the wall. Since then, only cards in the mailbox, even though theres almost always someone home. People see gates/intercoms and just say 'screw this' and bung a card in the mail slot.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





horizon posted:

Same! I've been going to bed around 2-3am and getting up around 11-12 since Christmas Eve. Had planned to break the cycle today to get ready for tomorrow, but I went out last night and didn't get to bed til 4am and just woke up now. FML.

Acquire some young children from somewhere and you will never have to experience this ever again. I not slept in further than 7am for years. Got woken at 7am on New Years Day with "DADDY YOU PROMISED TO PLAY MARIO CART WITH ME" and I had the most amazing hangover.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





goatface posted:

Gin with more gin.

I'm pretty sure I was going to use this bottle of port... for something... loving what I supposed to be goddamn santa in 4 hours.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





kids asleep, santa can barely focus, let's wrap some motherfucking gifts

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Fingerless Gloves posted:

Luftrausers
FTL
One Way Heroics
Gunpoint
You Have To Build A Boat
Terraria
Nuclear Throne (everybody loves it but I think it's ok)


Or just get an emulator dummy

I've just made a cheesecake

Luftrausers is actually pretty drat heavy on the hardware - it runs like crap on my 2x1.8 celeron laptop. FTL works fine though.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





FullLeatherJacket posted:

it's legal to own a sword in the UK, there are a couple of dudes on youtube who have houses full of the things - you can get 18th/19th century cavalry swords pretty cheap, since they were mass-produced at the time

it'd be classed as an offensive weapon if you were running around the park with it, but that would also apply for a heavy wrench or a rock you found on the floor that looks like a tortoise but isn't

there's an exception to that for anything with a curved blade over 50cm (a gurkha blade is curved but I think would be smaller), which is essentially because they wanted to ban samurai swords from being sold to people from middlesbrough even though they couldn't in practice define what one is, but that excludes anything that's an antique or traditionally made

I had a friend who owned a proper blacksmithed claymore. Was sharp as hell. This was in Glasgow back in the late 90's or so. Dude was a south african geordie if you can imagine such a thing. He lived on one of the major streets through Glasgow in a ground floor flat. One day had just got out the shower, and was in his front room and some neds threw a lit firework through his open window. He dove behind the sofa, losing his towel in the process, the firework fortunately landed in the fireplace and went off. Full of righteous fury, he grabbed the nearest pointy thing; a 5 foot long claymore, and leaped out the window into Great Western Road, stark naked, screaming incoherently in heavily accented geordie and persued the offending neds through the midday traffic. He never caught them, the police never found him, and ultimately no-one in this story learned anything at all.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Doctor_Fruitbat posted:

Most things will be 64 bit by then, but I imagine there'll be some really important legacy systems that can't be easily replaced. I wonder if it'll be easier to just reset them to 1970 and deal with whatever fuckery that causes.

The problem is that you have code in abandoned libraries that are typed to int(32), embedded systems coded by companies long-gone, developed in obscure languages or frameworks you can no longer get a license for. It's not just a case of typing `ALTER TABLE delivery_date ALTER COLUMN date bigint` into a database and it's all fixed. In many cases very expensive and bespoke software needs to be completely recoded. The company I work for still has a handful of customers running a 16-bit version of DOS software we developed 20 years ago because it's the only thing that works with the even older equipment in their warehouse (however, the software still thinks it's 1980 because the fix was just to modify the date on the computer).

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





mrpwase posted:

Just planted some buddleja and now all the butterflies are in my garden :hehe:

I like buddleja because it's basically just a pimp-rear end weed that gets all the pollinators and will grow literally anywhere. I used to live in a basement flat in the middle of Edinburgh and it grew out of a tiny crack in the wall and did extremely well every year. I just checked Google maps and some fucker cut it down, it was literally the only planty thing on the street why would you do that?

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

ah poo poo. this is bad. uh, ok. gently caress. we practiced for this. right, here goes.

pickled onion monster munch are the best ones

I dunno, flamin' hot are pretty close. Maybe not in this weather.

edit: Worcester sauce walkers have them beat tho

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Just got told I'm back in the office next week - so back to a 25 mile roundtrip commute for absolutely no reason. We're even still going to be doing Zoom meetings, but at our desks. I work in software development, basically give me a darkened room, 3-4 monitors and an internet connection and I am productive.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Bobby Deluxe posted:

my wife talks rubbish in her sleep and then will be mad at me for a while when she wakes up for 'not taking her seriously'

when she was telling me there were ambulances in the butter

My wife still hasn't explained 'gorilla cookies' to me adequately.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Ratjaculation posted:

Middle lane hoggers are mega-worst. Nice empty motorway and you have to do this double lane change, overtake, given them an angry look and confirm that it is an old tosser, then double lane change back to where you were.

Utterly annoying, especially if you're like me and you're trying to post whilst driving

Wrong, anyone on the M6 is the worst. Stop loving crashing into each other you cockmongers.

On the plus side I just got a fancy car with self driving poo poo so all I do is put it in 'some oval office crashed again' mode and it just follows the car in front at 5mph for 3 loving hours while I shitpost.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





DaWolfey posted:

Who's selling decent masks?

I got a pack from Elle back in Marchish which are fine, although they do appear to be made from the recycled gussets of ladies comfortable underwear.

As a glasses wearer, I am constantly in a state of frustrated fogginess with these masks, and no amount of pressing the top to my face stops it from happening and it's loving infuriating.

I'm bespectacled, and I have 'Stein Covid-19' masks (got them through work fairly early on), and they have folded material just over the bridge of your nose, and a good metal clip up there - out of everything I've worn, they cause the least misting and are pretty comfortable. They are also washable, although you'd still only want to wash them a few times before changing them.

My wife likes disposable masks and uses 'Muc-off anti fog' fluid on her specs which works great too as long as you remember to re-apply it every few days.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





mrpwase posted:

My favourite two quaint English villages.

Moresomes-on-wye or Moresomes-in-marsh though? The latter has a lovely little pub but smells a bit funny all year round.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Just finished an entire 130g of WALKERS BAKED WOTSITS GIANTS FLAMIN' HOT how is the rest of the thread doing this fine Sunday evening?

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





oh no computer posted:

worst place i ever lived was in an old hotel that had been converted into flats, it was a ground floor flat that had massive single-glazed sash windows that couldn't be replaced as it was a listed building. the flat also didn't have gas running to it or central heating so i all i had to heat the place was a couple of lovely electric radiators (plus the electric oven hobs which i turned on when it got really cold), which cost a fortune to run and did very little to actually warm the place up. i could pretty much always see my breath through winter and i had to wait until my lease ran out in february before i could move out. utterly miserable experience all round.

As a student I lived in an deathtrap victorian era apartment in Aberdeen; the coldest place on the planet. The electric heaters didn't even touch the cold in there, and the huge, ancient gas boiler was hosed and continually emergency vented steam. Turning on the hot water taps produced a spluttering mix of water and steam. My room had a sink in it, so I rigged up a very long length of copper tubing connected to the hot tap and basically created a steam heating system for the room. Worked an absolute treat (and was free). Only place I've ever lived where the landlord had a bodyguard with him at all times, fun times. Many years later I caught a news report about hookers/people trafficking and they were plying their trade from my old room so I guess it's a whorehouse now?

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





NotJustANumber99 posted:

Oh your American? And your son is... A student in Glasgow? My uncle is a taxi driver in Glasgow and a protective dude. I could give you his number as a person that will always pick your son up or make sure he's ok. To an extent.

Last time I went to Glasgow I ended up waking in a bush opposite my hotel and a vague memory of going clubbing with some honest to god clowns (facepaint an all - no really there was a circus training school there apparently). I don't think the clowns did a bad touch on me, but considering I had a ticket for 'The Viper' in my pocket and patchy memories of the night anything is possible.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





crispix posted:

was maybe stabbing them so they cook through

My wife is a spud stabber and I'm not but we both bake them long enough it doesn't really matter. Seems like an unnecessary step in those cases. I guess if you microwave them it might help? Best not to if you're liable just to stab your own hand though?

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





I was expecting crimbo lockdown given the state of things so this week I had a giant crate turn up from Majestic, a giant crate from Brewdog, and I'm all set for whatever the festive pandemic can throw at me by spending the next 2 weeks paralytic (tier 3, probably should be tier 4 given the number of sweaty covid cases staggering round the Tescos coughing up a lung this afternoon)

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Bobby Deluxe posted:

less stressed certainly

the source of the stomping is a 15 year old who is not taking the parents divorce well

the missus has promised that if i can make enough to pay for half the cost of noiseproofing the living room party wall, we can do it and see how much stompproofing the stairs / ceiling / remaining party wall would be

i am anticipating about a grand and a half for just the living room wall and underside of the stairs but knowing that it is a thing we can do has lifted a lot of the stress

wall:



(merry xmas this is your free 'im the x' photo of the festive season)

Looks pretty tricky to noiseproof tbh - you'll get lots of direct noise transmission through all that supporting wood on the stairs and through other joists/floorboards. Might be cheaper to get something to mask the noise - indoor fountains or some poo poo? And anything you can get to baffle the sound to prevent it spreading to the rest of the house (you can buy moderately tasteful sound absorbing/baffling panels). I did some work building soundproof booths for involuntary basement guests audio recording and once you have anything nailed to anything else loud stomps and traffic vibration just find a drat way through.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





MonkeyLibFront posted:

Ha, nope I did about 5 years ago but I ripped them, never replaced, I have chequered pj bottoms or lounge pants depending on where your from but nothing I could venture outside in.

Coward; I've just been wandering around outside in pair of fleece moccasins, chequered pj bottoms and a World of Warcraft (the MOVIE) t-shirt I got for free from some promo a while back. Our fat cat knocked over the bins somehow. I live on a main road and there were loads of people around. I'm beyond any manner of caring about my outfit.

Not the best image off the CCTV, but it gives you the general idea.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

cynic fucked around with this message at 21:58 on Dec 22, 2020

cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Bape Culture posted:

Itís loving class mate

It's loving sweet that you end up with when you crack the tin and there's only the grainy green ones and manky gold toffees left and you can't be bothered with the disappointment of yet another bland, gravelly 'hazelnut noisette' and the thought of it makes you want to barf.

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cynic
Jan 19, 2004





Natalie Fartman posted:

Is there a way to ensure actual ethical purchases of coffee, chocolate etc or is it a lost cause

My own (limited) understanding is that it's pretty much a lost cause. Once you get big enough to start appearing in supermarkets you hit the limits of scalability where you can't adequately control what your suppliers in poorer countries are doing. What they are sometimes doing is making a ton of money through borderline slave labour by subcontracting orders and then turning a blind eye to any breaking of 'agreements' such as pesticide use, labour laws etc. etc. Purchasers from supermarkets then turn a blind eye to the disturbingly large amount of material they can source from the smallish well paid/organic/ethical farmers. Buying 'ethically sourced' products generally guarantees a higher percentage of ethically sourced material, but it's definitely also a scam on many levels.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainforest_Alliance#Criticism_and_response
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Fairtrade_Certification_Mark#Criticism
https://www.ft.com/content/d191adbc-3f4d-11db-a37c-0000779e2340

You can find a ton of articles on the various marks and certifications and how random audits are a lovely way to detect farmers or supplies gaming the system.

IMHO it's still worth looking for and purchasing, even if the impact might be fairly minimal.

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