The King of Dragon Pass - You will regret this

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Poil: Mar 17, 2007

Give him a position in the hall, if he can prove his mettle by strangling a duck in a nearby pond first.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 15:23

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 22:39

Tormented: Jan 22, 2004; "And the goat shall bear upon itself all their iniquities unto a solitary place..."

Infinitum posted:

Wutang Clan you have answered the call and it is time to gently caress with the ducks!

Aww yiss.
31 Goods is a nice way to start the forthcoming duck genocide. We're gonna bulk up, and when Fire Season rolls around we'll be going on a proper duck hunt

Sacred Time

Reenactment on what is to come:

:siren:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqKd1jhJ7EI :siren:

# ? Aug 5, 2015 15:29

IAmTheRad: Dec 11, 2009; Goddammit this Cello is way out of tune!

Did we get a bonus for attacking the ducks because they are our hated enemy, besides a huge boost to our clan mood?

# ? Aug 5, 2015 15:37

Meta-Mollusk: May 2, 2013; by FactsAreUseless; Grimey Drawer

Ooh this is getting exciting. Will be interested to see what Ironhoof has to say about all this! :ducksiren:

Sartar hasn't really done anything for us yet, but give him a place in the chief's hall anyway.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 15:37

Kanthulhu: Apr 8, 2009; NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!

(Dany shits in a field)

IAmTheRad posted:

Did we get a bonus for attacking the ducks because they are our hated enemy, besides a huge boost to our clan mood?

Yes. We got magic and clan mood. Besides the Duck Loot, of course.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:10

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

Random vagrant we know nothing about? Obviously we

Phrosphor posted:

Give him a place in the chief's hall.

We are going to need every warrior we can lay our hands on.

Bleh this might be a bad investment in the long run.. :ohdear:

Righto, no use resting on our laurels. Let's prep for Fire Season

Noice. I was hoping to get Truesword for us, but being able to improve the ability of our warriors in battle is just as good.

Speaking of battle, those Hendarti dickheads are trying to steal our cows!

You know what? I'm sick of this poo poo. gently caress putting it to a vote.

Lets. Get. Dangerous. :black101:

Wait.. I didn't gently caress this up?..And we murdered a bunch of Hendarti?... :magical:

Wutang Clan might be someone with which one would not gently caress wit? :stonklol:

It is now Fire Season
We tried sacrificing one more time before we go gently caress with some ducks, but it failed.

Elusu, a small stead-holder, accuses Sarotar, his neighbour from the Isolting clan, of moving the boundary stones between their pastures. Sarotar denies this, and complains that Elusu is trying to use the clan chief to steal from him.

As King Heort once said, "Sometimes it is better to just give them the cow." (1)
_{What if we split the cow down the middle..}

It is difficult to say for certain, but something tells me that Elusu's claim is unjust. (3)
_{Sartark is our lawmaker.. he'd probably know these things}

Once there was a boundary dispute between Barntar and Elmal. Eurmal solved the problem by getting them drunk and then moving all the boundary stones in the valley.

Violence is always an option. (5)
_{Down boy.}

The amount of pasture in question means much to Elusu and Sarotar, but means little to the prosperity of the clan

There is much personal animosity in this dispute. Each party is more interested in being proved right than in winning clear title to the land.

Both Elusu and Sarotar are certain they they are right.

What is with people and rocks these days. I swear..

- Offer Sarotar a cow if he drops his claim
- Send an emissary to the Isoltings.
- Tell Elusu to drop his claim
- Tell them to resolve the dispute by arm-wrestling
- Threaten Sarotar if he doesn't drop his claim

It's Fire Season still, so as promised the next update will include :ducksiren:

Duck Murder :ducksiren:

Infinitum fucked around with this message at 16:18 on Aug 5, 2015

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:12

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

~~Don't~~ Have a cow, man

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:17

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

I've included the options now. I was just really excited about not loving up :v:

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:19

Kyrosiris: May 24, 2006; You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".

A cow is probably worth more than the minor amount of land being bitched about, so Wutang Legal Services would like to offer you one cow in exchange for shutting up.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:22

throw to first DAMN IT: Apr 10, 2007; This whole thread has been raging at the people who don't want Saracen invasion to their homes

Perhaps you too should be more accepting of their cultures

Infinitum posted:

As King Heort once said, "Sometimes it is better to just give them the cow." (1)

We could launch a big investigation and get to the bottom of this or we could just give him a cow and tell him to shut up.

Give him cow.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:22

Chevy Slyme: May 2, 2004; We're Gonna Run.

We're Gonna Crawl.

Kick Down Every Wall.

I think we all know what needs to happen here.

SETTLE IT IN THE USUAL WAY.

_{_{(That means arm wrasslin'.)}}

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:26

Phrosphor: Feb 25, 2007; Urbanisation

Give him a cow

We have duck warfare to plan, if we sick Sartark on them he will probably just accuse them both of being chaos worshippers.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:26

SirDifferential: Sep 19, 2012

Tell them to resolve the dispute by arm-wrestling. What? I like some arm wrestling. It usually involves beer.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:28

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

1x instance of not loving up a fight means I get to have a vote.

We gon wrassle

Arm-wrestle that is. Texas tea.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:30

Meta-Mollusk: May 2, 2013; by FactsAreUseless; Grimey Drawer

We have more important business to deal with, so give him a cow.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:30

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Arm wrasslin' is appropriately manly.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:31

Nea: Feb 28, 2014; Funny Little Guy Aficionado.

It's time to wrestle.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:46

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

Infinitum posted:

Once there was a boundary dispute between Barntar and Elmal. Eurmal solved the problem by getting them drunk and then moving all the boundary stones in the valley.

Harran gets it.

Arm wrasslin

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:50

RabidWeasel: Aug 4, 2007; Cultures thrive on their myths and legends...and snuggles!

Wrestle because those dumb asses just want to bitch at each other and don't actually give a gently caress about boundary stones.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 16:51

Trogdos!: Jul 11, 2009; A DRAGON POKEMAN
well technically a water/flying type

Is this even a question? arm wrestling

# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:00

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Arm wrasslin' time!

# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:04

LupusAter: Sep 5, 2011

IIRC, killing as many as you can in a raid is a very bad idea. They will be really pissed off now, and the other clans won't like it either.

That said, arm wrestling solves every dispute!

# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:24

LawfulWaffle: Mar 11, 2014; Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.

Arm wrestling sets a dangerous precedent that favors the young and muscular over the dedicated but frail. Offer the man a cow to drop the argument, and focus on mallard genocide.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 17:57

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

It's like Koreng said, each of them only really cares about being right, so have them wrassle for it.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 18:03

Poil: Mar 17, 2007

Isn't it really easy to just lift up the boundary stones and check if there's grass underneath? :psyduck:

# ? Aug 5, 2015 18:06

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

He doesn't get you drunk. He gets you really, really blackout, five day hangover memory loss drunk.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 18:28

theshim: May 1, 2012; You think you can defeat ME, Ephraimcopter?!?

You couldn't even beat Assassincopter!!!

Infinitum posted:

And that's why we invited Sartar to the chief's hall.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 18:37

Feinne: Oct 9, 2007; When you fall, get right back up again.

Sartar is a huge badass to make up for the fact that his past will almost certainly come to haunt us at some point.

# ? Aug 5, 2015 18:40

GenericOverusedName: Nov 24, 2009; KUVA TEAM EPIC

These dudes are carls, and carls just love to bitch about anything and everything. Let them get their frustrations out via Arm Wrasslin'!

# ? Aug 5, 2015 18:46

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

You come into the House of Wu when we are clearly prepping for war? We have decided that they will

RabidWeasel posted:

Wrestle because those dumb asses just want to bitch at each other and don't actually give a gently caress about boundary stones.

+Farmer Morale

Wutang Legal Services can keep their damnable cow, wrasslin works just as good. :toot:

Hmm Blackrock is one of our trading partners, and we wanted to improve upon trading this year.. some buffon has been trading our cows away as it is.. Deal!

Aww they were magic stones? Of course they were. Still it looks like they only took 2 chests worth, so I'm sure we'll have some left over!

It is now Earth Season and we are now harvesting.
Dammit..

Well I promised Wutang Clan duck murder, and it's murder most fowl you will have!

Setup :mil101:

The clan-ring whined about not being able to take a single farmer away from the harvest... OH WELL

Holy shitsnacks he took his head clean off! Fantastic. Now this is more like it! :black101:

Man we're on a roll lads, because right after we sacrificed to Humakt he deemed us worth of

Humakt-sempai noticed us! :swoon:

So many shrines to build soon!

_{_Original}

Carls of your clan are excited to see a rare double rainbow touch down in one of your fields. As Orlanthi, you are Storm People, and there are few omens as positive as a double rainbow, the beautiful gift left by the gods in the wake of a storm. It meant we were due for a time of good luck.

Others who hear about this double rainbow will want to be our friends. We should court the favour of the Fire Quartz Clan. (4)

The appearance of the double rainbow strengthens our clan magic. If we do nothing, we will keep its blessing for a time when we really need it. (1)
_{Boo this man!}

We have been blessed. It would be rude to turn our blessing into someone else's defeat (3,4,5)
_{Your moments of clarity astound me sometimes Harran}

Now that we are lucky, it is time to strike! The Jenstali Clan is weak, and we can easily beat them. (2)
_{You do know whose LP you're in right mate?}

I told you good luck was just around the bend.

The clever trader knows when to seize on good luck, and turn it into silver and cows. (3)

The gods might take great offense if we use this blessing to raid when we are supposed to be harvesting.

And the cherry on top

Hell yeahs this was a good turn. The gods are shining down upon us, obviously pleased about this seasons Duck Hunt. What say you brothers and sisters? How might we improve our fortune? :gifttank: