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Sloppy Milkshake
Nov 9, 2004

I MAKE YOU HUMBLE



If I was judging the meme contest Klaus would be winning.


turn 4: BIG PIG triumphs again. Seriously this god is real good at murdering indies. I actually messed up placement so my screen routed way before pig got there and it still managed to kill everything. I now have almost more resources than I can use in a turn, which is nice given the high res values on some of my picks. I'm probably going to switch over to my sacreds soon. Sending my pig into that plains prov (bailey vale) since it's just militia and archers. My other options are a throne with phantasms (so possibly air bullshit wizards) or a mess of barbarians. Barbarians are an iffy pop type to attack because sometimes they route really quickly and other times they all go berserk and murder your things. Also I just realized that I forgot to PD my provs, oops!



turn 5: Pig clowns on the militia without any trouble. I got evo2, I'm probably going to head down evo until 5 for thunderstrike. By the end of year one I should have enough native thunder strike casters to ward off any rushes, if not I'll head down conjuration to 2 so I can summon storm power with my vanjarls so they can also TS. This works because at evo 5 you can cast Storm which creates a storm (duh) that messes up projectiles and increases the strength of some spells. Additionally, an air mage can cast summon storm power to boost their air rank by 1. This is always decent because having more ranks than you need for a spell lowers the fatigue cost. I now have a shitload of resources, so I'm switching over to making tuatha warriors and sidhe warriors. They both have stealth, high defense, and glamour which makes them real nice. That throne reveals that it's just some idiot blow pipers, nature mages, and some phantasmal warriors. It should be pretty easy, but I'm going to hold off on grabbing it for now. Pig is moving down to meet up with my prophet attacking the heavy cav prov. I'll snatch some hoplites to use as blockers and move into those farmlands probably.

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Klaus88
Jan 23, 2011

Violence has its own economy, therefore be thoughtful and precise in your investment


I'd like to point out that casual racism is that norm rather then the exception for fantasy and anyone who says otherwise is deluded or a massive MRA neckbeard type. :negative:

Also it looks like only Jonjoe has any remote idea of what he is doing so far. :nallears:

Neruz
Jul 23, 2012

A paragon of manliness

Klaus88 posted:

I'd like to point out that casual racism is that norm rather then the exception for fantasy and anyone who says otherwise is deluded or a massive MRA neckbeard type. :negative:

Also it looks like only Jonjoe has any remote idea of what he is doing so far. :nallears:

To be fair; casual racism is a lot easier when the people you are being racist against are actually a different species with entirely different physical and mental traits :v:

That does not justify having Machakan Humans get -1 enc and +1 ap or Jomonese having -1 HP though. And that's not even getting into the fact that being female in this game apparently means -hp and str, +def. Or the fact that the stand-in nation for India are literal monkey people, though the Vanara being a legit piece of Indian mythology helps a bit.

Illwinter are just extremely white and male.

ChickenWing
Jul 22, 2010

:v:



biosterous posted:

Please don't thumbnail everything in the update posts. It makes it a pain to read.

Alternatively, continue thumbnailing everything because a) some of us are reading on lovely small monitors and b) if you get multiple updates on a single page it takes goddamn forever to load.

ChickenWing
Jul 22, 2010

:v:



Neruz posted:

Illwinter are just extremely scandanavian

fyp


Neruz posted:

To be fair; casual racism is a lot easier when the people you are being racist against are actually a different species with entirely different physical and mental traits :v:

The problem with this is that most "different species" are modeled around an actual real race and so still reveal the racial prejudices of the author

Also illwinter is incredibly fond of :biotruths:

Space Bat
Apr 17, 2009

hold it now hold it now hold it right there
you wouldn't drop, couldn't drop diddy, you wouldn't dare


ChickenWing posted:

Alternatively, continue thumbnailing everything because a) some of us are reading on lovely small monitors and b) if you get multiple updates on a single page it takes goddamn forever to load.

Inferior slavic monitors :shibe:

ChickenWing
Jul 22, 2010

:v:



Space Bat posted:

Inferior slavic monitors :shibe:

I'm a new hire at work and thus am left with 4:3 19" monitors


my life is pain and anguish

fool of sound
Oct 10, 2012






Meme contest! Win a copy of Dominions 4 or a hilarious mug!

Flame112
Apr 21, 2011


hello, i'm here for the meme contest

Samog
Dec 13, 2006
At least I'm not an 07.


dios mio

Baudin
Dec 31, 2009


fool_of_sound posted:




Meme contest! Win a copy of Dominions 4 or a hilarious mug!

Terrible, yet accurate

Baudin
Dec 31, 2009


Turn 6:

IRC Quote of the Turn:
(9:25:09 AM) foolofsound: since he's hyperblood 900


Not too much happened this turn - I took another province in my cap circle, and one of my master smiths was wounded while making some elixir or other.



I have a decision to make - should I continue to clear my cap circle or rush toward the central mountains and try for a 150 gold mine and gem events? After thinking about it for a few minutes I decide to clear a bit more of my cap circle and then see if I can wipe that province. Itís not ideal but maybe I can convince my neighbours to hold off on taking that province? Alternatively Iíll never take possession of it.



I move the independant commander back to pick up more reinforcements and continue swinging with my prophet. Now to check on my scout, and the new capital I just found!

Excellent, now to continue scouting



This is the point that jamming ďNĒ comes in handy. I completely forgot about the new scout and my marshmaster (donít judge me, I was playing Ark at the same time), and would have missed out on scouting the northwest neighbour



Time to end the turn!

Baudin fucked around with this message at 06:07 on Aug 8, 2015

Sloppy Milkshake
Nov 9, 2004

I MAKE YOU HUMBLE



Turn 6: Ugh, Baudin snatched up that farm prov which is a problem. I'm not making enough money to ensure an additional fort by the end of year one unless I skip a turn of recruitment which is...not ideal. I guess I shouldn't have been so excited about all of this forest. I'm going to try to wrap around to the farm below Eastern Godsmite Desert and maybe try to snake around the northern throne to Wall's Cradle (northwest of Keep's Demense). As a general rule I usually don't place a high priority on getting early thrones, but I don't know if that's actually good strategy or not. I was hoping to hit that cave; however, there's a bunch of demons in there that turn into ghosts and I don't know how tough they will be without some magic support, so I'm gonna avoid that (Future edit: I'm a loving idiot, my prophet can drop big banishes). Next turn I'm going to hit evo2. I might detour into some alteration just to extend the life of my god's ability to expand. There's also a lot of good stuff in that school for my air mages later on, so it's not a waste to grab anyway. Here's my view of the world at the end of turn 6:


edit: If any of my strategy seems unclear or explanations are lacking feel free to ask. I can expand on why i'm doing what i'm doing, but I don't know how interesting that is.

Sloppy Milkshake fucked around with this message at 07:45 on Aug 8, 2015

Baudin
Dec 31, 2009


Something to note: that farm area isn't good. It has 60 income and 27 resources because it is both farmland and mountainous. Dom4 chooses to give it the worst of both, instead of the best.

Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.


im forevereal probated forums poster decrepus. i first got the internet when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "memes" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "epic fail" and "all your base are belong to us" in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing things in the corners of my eyes etc, basically prodromal schizophrenia. im now on antipsychotics. i always wondered what the kind of "meme" style humor dom4goons was all about; i think it's the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who "get" memes to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. peace.

TheDemon
Dec 11, 2006

...on the plus side I'm feeling much more angry now than I expected so this totally helps me get in character.


Nuclearmonkee posted:

Markata are good :colbert:

Monkey nations have really good spells to make markata incredible easily. A single square of lucky ethereal markata takes ~100 hits in melee combat to clear. One. Hundred. And you have to hit 14 defense. I was just playing a game where I was blocking blessed black centaur with a handful of appropriately buffed markata to give my cascade casters time to put them to sleep and allow the markata to kill all of them. They can also be used as really good ablative melee armor in a normal battle with battle fortune. And in dom4 morale issues are not a problem now that rage of the cornered rat exists.

The problem is they take exactly one hit to clear with AoEs. And if you have, say, 50 markata, a single shot of Thunder Strike or even Falling Fires or even loving Breath of the Dragon will kill more than half of them, which will instantly cause the entire squad to fail a morale check and gently caress off.

Not that they aren't fantastic at certain things, but they poo poo the bed really hard against others. Even normal arrows will cause devastating morale checks even if they're only killing 1 per arrow. Very much a toolkit unit.

Baudin
Dec 31, 2009


Turn 7:

IRC Quote of the Turn:
thespo: post turn 7!
and
thespo: because foolofsound is the literal devil

Another boring expansion turn.



I found my first site - a Burial Mound in Northeastern Worldheart which will give me a death gem each turn. Handy!

Once more Iím trying to decide which way to expand. Eventually I send my expansion army back to my capital to move west next turn.



Iím also sending the marshmaster east to my capital as well and start up a new research path - construction.



Once I get construction 2 Iíll begin pumping out



Maybe using Dwarven Hammers?



My scouts are still pretty useful - look, another player!



My neighbour to the north just expanded into the caves - maybe weíll have peace in our time!



Again I mash N - only turning up my indie commander in the capital (which Iím not going to be moving quite yet), and End the Turn.

Baudin fucked around with this message at 05:39 on Aug 9, 2015

Sloppy Milkshake
Nov 9, 2004

I MAKE YOU HUMBLE



turn 7: diplomanced Baudin. I found out we're all packed in on this side of the map. As you can see, in addition to Baudin to the south, there's JonJoe to the pretty near west. Additionally, Baudin says that Burlap is slightly south of that farm I'm heading towards. This is not ideal because Burlap took Blood Sacrifce as a national gimmick which is real loving annoying to deal with. Anyway, sending pig with some screeners to attack Northwestern keepwood in the north and Samog to attack lovely desert in the south. I wanted to hit that coast with Samog, but it's got a bunch of statues and a golem in it, so gently caress all that. I'm sending out a stealth expandion squad to Keepshire as well, which I didn't really scout so hopefully it's going to be okay! I'm sending out another wave of scouts to the south so I can get a better position on Baudin and Burlap. Even with O3/G3 I'm still hurting for money, this some bullshit. I opted to not switch off to alteration research since I'm so packed in with other people. I'm going to want to be able to drop lots of t-strikes ASAP.

Here's my view of the map:

StoryTime
Feb 26, 2010

Now listen to me children and I'll tell you of the legend of the Ninja

Samog
Dec 13, 2006
At least I'm not an 07.


To add to the stuff about magic paths and levels, here's roughly what it means for a mage to have a certain level of magic:

A mage with one level in a path is weak in that path -- an F1 mage can throw a handful of sparks at the enemy.

A mage with two levels in a path is competent -- an F2 mage can cast Fireball.

A mage with three levels in a path is powerful -- an F3 mage can rain fire on a group of enemies.

A mage with four levels in a path is extremely powerful -- an F4 mage can heat up an entire battlefield like an oven, causing any units without fire resistance to collapse from heat exhaustion. There are only six recruitable mages in the entire game with a base level of 4 in any path, but plenty of mages can reach this level with a 1/4 or 1/3 random.

A mage with five levels in a path is as powerful as a mortal mage can get -- an F5 mage can conjure a fire storm onto the battlefield, reducing everything without fire resistance to cinders. The oldest of the Treelords is an N5 mage, as an example, and the Elemental Royalty all have 5 levels in their respective paths. Powerful recruitable mages can reach this level, but only with some very lucky randoms.

A mage with six or more levels in a path is probably a god, but powerful mages can wear magic items to boost their paths into this range. An F6 mage can create an enchantment that detects hostile undead beings inside his god's Dominion and automatically blasts them with holy fire, but more impressive options are available to mages of other paths.

Samog
Dec 13, 2006
At least I'm not an 07.


also, the entire magic system is a loose adaptation of ars magica

fool of sound
Oct 10, 2012


Samog posted:

also, the entire magic system is a loose adaptation of ars magica

except not really, at all

Samog
Dec 13, 2006
At least I'm not an 07.


it's

fool of sound
Oct 10, 2012



im convinced

Samog
Dec 13, 2006
At least I'm not an 07.


th;ank you.

Sloppy Milkshake
Nov 9, 2004

I MAKE YOU HUMBLE




[/quote]
original meme that is © me do not steal

Absum
May 28, 2013



Samog posted:

A mage with six or more levels in a path is probably a god

or a lucky starspawn or atlantian

Samog
Dec 13, 2006
At least I'm not an 07.


get a load of this nerd

I Love You!
Dec 6, 2002


Agent Kool-Aid posted:

if they're trying to make cool poo poo then they've probably failed because legit like 90% of the spells in the game are functionally useless and are thus not fun at all

The vast majority of spells are useful and the game is full of fringe cases. See the above monkey discussion for examples.

Now most troops are useless so you're not entirely wrong.

Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.


Samog posted:

imo decrepus, as the world's foremost dominions meme expert, should also be a judge

I accept this nomination.


Decrepus posted:

im forevereal probated forums poster decrepus. i first got the internet when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "memes" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "epic fail" and "all your base are belong to us" in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing things in the corners of my eyes etc, basically prodromal schizophrenia. im now on antipsychotics. i always wondered what the kind of "meme" style humor dom4goons was all about; i think it's the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who "get" memes to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. peace.



WOW! What a memes. This memes have changed my life. I vote for Decrepus for meme champion. Not even champion but meme Hero!!! What social justice people hope to achieve by being more and more offended..? Decrrepus has achieve all this and more with his mems. I have not taken the SATs but I'm sure it is similies and metaphores. Ever since I was a young boy I have pondered the origins of this progenitor meme and Decrepus with his especially exceptional memery has opened my mind and altered my life for the better. In conclusion I blierf that Decrepus should be award ed the 75% off Dominions4 WHICH FLIES IN THE FACE OF SCHRAPLENL GAMES POLICY OF SELLING GAMES FOR LESS THAN 70 AMERICAN DOLLARS!!!

Baudin
Dec 31, 2009


Turn 8:



Alas not much to report this turn - two unexpected events (one that gives me 243 gold, the other 3 dominion in the province) which are a nice bonus and another level of alteration done.



I send forth my newly combined army - I probably donít need this many men in place, but Iíll be creating another expansion army in short order. I need to start saving up for a second fort, which is another issue entirely.



Iíve sent out my prophet, an indie commander and a marshmaster to take the nearby province - the marshmaster will be enlarging my units, and the indie commander will be used to build a second fort somewhere in the mountains. After a lot of thought I decide to send in a master smith as well - heíll be used to buff my troops this battle and site search as well. A potential issue is my lack of research - Iím sending out more mages than usual. Iíve also sent out my newly created flying scout to check out the mountainous areas for other players.

Iíve started up the recruitment of a cap only mage-priest that Iíll be using as a second expansion commander, hopefully I can get that army completed in relatively short order.



Luckily my other flying scout has been doing good work - Iíve found yet another player!



It looks like weíre pretty tightly packed - my early failure to expand will likely hurt me in this game.
Again with the mashing of ďNĒ and another turn ended!

Sloppy Milkshake
Nov 9, 2004

I MAKE YOU HUMBLE



Turn 8: Ugh, my stealth expansion hit upon some stealthed wizards that wrecked them up. That's a lot of money in the toilet. All of the other expansions went as expected though. Fleurs has outbid me on every merc too. This is not going well. I'm going to consolidate some armies together to hit that stuff in the west before JonJoe gets to it. I'm also going to push into Burlap's cap circle because I've got nowhere else to go. I'll end up selling those to Burlap or fighting with the unholy Burlap nation I guess :shrug: (future edit: actually Burlap just acted tough and took it back. I didn't want to get into a war at that point so I backed down like a big wuss :(, Also this was an overall bad idea because I lose several turns of expansion moving back up.)
Here's my view of the world with two capitals circled:



edit: at this point you can already start to see some big differences between my draft and Baudin's. Even with a completely destroyed expansion army I've already gotten 50% more provinces. This kind of thing easily snowballs because I have an easier time replacing losses and creating new expansion armies. I've got two expansion armies still viable and i'm 99% sure that I ended up spitting another out pretty quickly. Learning to expand quickly and efficiently is a vital skill, because more land is more money and more gems, which is more power.

Sloppy Milkshake fucked around with this message at 06:12 on Aug 10, 2015

Johnny Joestar
Oct 21, 2010

Don't shoot him?

...
...





i dunno if prophets were really explained yet but as a brief note: you can designate a commander as your prophet and they will automatically gain holy level 3. it will bump up to 4 if it's already 3. this can be handy because along w/ being pretty good at priest poo poo like blessing and banishing they can also claim thrones just like the pretender. (any level 3+ priest can do this)

prophets also are automatically blessed and have more or less hp depending on how much of your dominion is in a province, just like pretenders. if your prophet dies then you gotta wait like a year or so (12 turns) for its influence to fade, letting you declare another prophet. prophets can be pretty important!

now, back to the memes

Sloppy Milkshake
Nov 9, 2004

I MAKE YOU HUMBLE



Agent Kool-Aid posted:

i dunno if prophets were really explained yet but as a brief note: you can designate a commander as your prophet and they will automatically gain holy level 3. it will bump up to 4 if it's already 3. this can be handy because along w/ being pretty good at priest poo poo like blessing and banishing they can also claim thrones just like the pretender. (any level 3+ priest can do this)

prophets also are automatically blessed and have more or less hp depending on how much of your dominion is in a province, just like pretenders. if your prophet dies then you gotta wait like a year or so (12 turns) for its influence to fade, letting you declare another prophet. prophets can be pretty important!

now, back to the memes

6 months, but otherwise spot on. Another cool thing that H3s can do is cast Divine Blessing which automatically bless all of your sacred troops on the battlefield. Pretty handy if you've got a bunch of sacreds are need to split them up for some funky scripting shenanigans.

i am hereby submitting the meme contest winner:

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves


Dang it thread. Now I want to play Dominions again despite how much I suck at it and despite how long it takes to play a game.

Also Fool of Sound your blurbs on the drafted nations are amazing and I hope you do one for every player.

Gridlocked fucked around with this message at 10:40 on Aug 10, 2015

uguu
Mar 9, 2014



I Love You! posted:

The vast majority of spells are useful and the game is full of fringe cases. See the above monkey discussion for examples.

Now most troops are useless so you're not entirely wrong.

Many troop summons have their use too; maybe you need high hp decoys or elemental immune chaff or magic weapon chaff.

Sloppy Milkshake posted:

Turn 8: Ugh, my stealth expansion hit upon some stealthed wizards that wrecked them up. That's a lot of money in the toilet. All of the other expansions went as expected though. Fleurs has outbid me on every merc too. This is not going well. I'm going to consolidate some armies together to hit that stuff in the west before JonJoe gets to it. I'm also going to push into Burlap's cap circle because I've got nowhere else to go. I'll end up selling those to Burlap or fighting with the unholy Burlap nation I guess :shrug: (future edit: actually Burlap just acted tough and took it back. I didn't want to get into a war at that point so I backed down like a big wuss :(, Also this was an overall bad idea because I lose several turns of expansion moving back up.)
Here's my view of the world with two capitals circled:



edit: at this point you can already start to see some big differences between my draft and Baudin's. Even with a completely destroyed expansion army I've already gotten 50% more provinces. This kind of thing easily snowballs because I have an easier time replacing losses and creating new expansion armies. I've got two expansion armies still viable and i'm 99% sure that I ended up spitting another out pretty quickly. Learning to expand quickly and efficiently is a vital skill, because more land is more money and more gems, which is more power.

Baudin is just expanding terribly, he should have recruited a priest and 6 sacreds a turn as soon as his resources permitted it and he would've been fine.

Also Thespo will find my guys next turn, so here they are.
First pick were these guys:

recruit anywhere without a fort mages.
They give me great research potential, second to Jonjoe, and astral mages are real useful as communions slaves or by themselves to spam stellar cascades. Also they are stealthy. I will have a lot of these.
Vaetti hags would've been a good choice too, cheaper and would give me blood access, but I like astral and I don't like blood xD

Next I got:

Good, cheap, recruit anywhere sacreds, with 2 attacks and flying when blessed. They're my main troops.

Then, my cap only mage:

High paths, with great synergy between them and all useful in fights. Can take a hit and I like them a lot.

Rounding out my mage corps:

They give me great diversity, on and off the battlefield. They'll be my communion masters. Slow to recruit and map move 1 are major downers, but they'll be able to teleport eventually.
Also they get one of these in fights:

Nothing major, but it's fun.


Picked them for raiding, but they're also fast, do lots of damage and are quite survivable.


With buffs they're really good troops, but since I already have great troops in the eagle warriors I chose them for their niche uses.
They have perfect darkvision, fire and cold resistance, two high damage attacks, a magic weapon and they're amphibious.


Don't really remember why I got these, maybe to kill high protection guys? Probably won't buy any.


The best province defence leader, can mindblast. Also leads my deep ones underwater.
Flying, stealthy priest. Will lead my expansion and raiding parties.
Scout recruitable in forests and mountains.


My pd, mindblasters and fliers. Pretty good.
The xibalbans will also serve as raiders, illithids won't be recruited, as they are too expensive.

Cap only units:

Really high defence, two attacks, resistant to everything.
They have more hp in spring and less in fall, which is terrible.

Everyone but Thespo and I chose their gimmick first or second, so we talked, saw we wanted different things and could postpone it to the last pick.
I wavered for a long time between these:

very similar to what I already have, but they can fly in storms, which would ground my eagles.

These come together:

Crazy cheap mindblasters and line troops which can take a lot of beating. Very dissimilar to my lineup and would've gone with a different bless for these.

And half price temples, twenty extra design points and god recall.
I ended up going with this, because I already have one of the best armies and this allows me to be dangerous in a different way.

My god:

W9S9 bless gives my sacreds four extra defence, four magic resistance, twist fate;negating the first hit against them, and 50% more action points, giving an extra attack every other turn.
It makes them a lot more durable and a bit more killy. I considered almost every combination of F9W9D9N9S9B9 and ended up with this one mostly because of the ring boosters.
Early game is strong anyway and I can get up to F7W9E6A7N7S9D8 without empowering or uniques.
I wanted high magic dominion to get the most out of my illuminated ones and it also lowers magic resistance, which goes well with astral magic.



My cap is the red dot, the orange lines the general direction I expanded in.
Expansion went badly, having taken zero instead of the expected two provinces on turn three and being hit by a 33 unrest event.
My neighbours blocked my southern expansion so I went east and north.
This is a typical expansion fight:


Not pictured, the xibalban arrow decoy.
Once I'd taken my whole cap circle I switched to xibalban guard armies, since they can fly.
In the south I border Xanrick and his Hi-Brasil and Rotekian with Goran.
To my knowledge Xanrick and Jonjoe are the best players in the game, so I talk to Rotekian about maybe killing Xanrick and I also make a non agression pact with him for 15 turns.
About this time I bump into Jonjoe in the northeast.
And that catches me up to Baudin and Thespo I think.

Thedemon, come play a game with us again.

fool of sound
Oct 10, 2012


fleurs what are you doing you're stealing my gimmick no

and yeah i plan to go through all the other nations in time

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.



Clapping Larry

Oh wow, you're all just on that one supercontinent? Oh boy there's gonna be blood shortly.

fool of sound
Oct 10, 2012


Glazius posted:

Oh wow, you're all just on that one supercontinent? Oh boy there's gonna be blood shortly.

Sailing is only available to certain nations, and traversing troops across the seabed is resource intensive and retarded, so virtually all Dominions games are on a supercontinent.

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jBrereton
May 29, 2013


Grimey Drawer

Of the nations we've seen, New Alfheim can definitely sail, The Mongler Horder can also sail but Missionaries they have loving gash leadership unless you stack gem after gem's worth of gear of them. May be situationally A Thing later in the game, though!

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