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Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



paragon1 posted:

Haggle hard for a better deal. Be willing to put the cloth right back on the tree if he doesn't make an acceptable offer.

We've been in boardrooms, we know how to play hardball, right? If we just do what he says this time he'll lose all respect for us, gently caress us over, and say we should have seen it coming.

Good point. What else can he offer? Never accept the first deal.

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Waci
May 30, 2011

A boy and his dog.
I'd be willing to take the current deal, if he can offer proper assurances about none of the inevitable bad poo poo being blameable on us.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Put it back on the tree, tell him maybe some other time (this is how you haggle).

Plan MoreDorr. Lets see how ancient, powerful necromancer crocodiles put up against cannons and phosphorous bombs and napalm. Let someone else rule the tribe while we Jafar in the background.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Outrail posted:

Put it back on the tree, tell him maybe some other time (this is how you haggle).

Plan MoreDorr. Lets see how ancient, powerful necromancer crocodiles put up against cannons and phosphorous bombs and napalm. Let someone else rule the tribe while we Jafar in the background.

Know what Mordor really needs? PHOSGENE

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phosgene

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



A forum I used to go to had a similar puzzle, setting up in Middle Earth to fight Sauron.

http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?style=4&f=32&t=135480 v2.0
http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=12732 v1.0

So if anyone feels like an archive binge, there's some good ideas here.

Waci
May 30, 2011

A boy and his dog.

LowellDND posted:

Know what Mordor really needs? PHOSGENE

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phosgene

Every good CYOA needs indiscriminate use of sarin.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

Can you tell me more about spirit stuff?
Did spirits even exist in my time? I assume they did, why were they so low key?

Listen, if you really want the cloth you are going to need to explain to me exactly what its going to do for you, so start talking!


"If you really want to learn about spirits and demons and all that hokey voodoo then talk to old "Deer-lover" The Shaman back in the village. Oh did I say that, wouldn't want to embarrass my other spirits now. Nevermind. Also what do you mean "in your time?" You don't understand this metaphysical plane. Okay, I'll brush over the gaps. Did spirits exist in your time, hmm, well yes...maybe...probably not...ask again later, its all rather hazy." Spider slaps you in the face, gently and laughs. "You died and were literally reincarnated by your reaper. You are a spirit, so to speak. Man, for a math nerd you're kinda dense. Then again, seeing as how Sand-shell is practically ready to tear your spear off I guess that's right. Ah crap, there I got embarrassing people again."

Spider's joy sours when you bring up the cloth again. "Buddy, look, I get that you're all suspicious and want answers, but nothing I'm gonna say will make sense. It would be like trying to explain nuclear fission and string theory to those back in the village. Its way above your pay-grade. Suffice to say I collect them." Spider open his cloak a little to show the many similar offerings tied to the inside of his jacket. "See, I got like hundreds, I collect them. Now if you don't have any more questions....aw crap okay, not like I got anything else to do."



LowellDND posted:

As an aside, we should frame someone for taking the ribbon.
Maybe a neighboring tribe we can test bronze weapons on. :D

Waci posted:

They robbed the ribbon tree! We must avenge our ghostbros! WAAAAGH!


Waci posted:

I'd be willing to take the current deal, if he can offer proper assurances about none of the inevitable bad poo poo being blameable on us.

"You two, I like you guys. Plans within plans. Birds are jerks though, never trust them. Good eats when you can catch them though. I fully support that plan and I can help make all them offerings disappear if you cut down the tree and carve a little spider on the stump. I'll cover it up don't worry. I'll even get you some nice things that are at the bottom of the lake."



paragon1 posted:

Haggle hard for a better deal. Be willing to put the cloth right back on the tree if he doesn't make an acceptable offer.

We've been in boardrooms, we know how to play hardball, right? If we just do what he says this time he'll lose all respect for us, gently caress us over, and say we should have seen it coming.




LowellDND posted:

Good point. What else can he offer? Never accept the first deal.

Outrail posted:

Put it back on the tree, tell him maybe some other time (this is how you haggle).

Plan MoreDorr. Lets see how ancient, powerful necromancer crocodiles put up against cannons and phosphorous bombs and napalm. Let someone else rule the tribe while we Jafar in the background.


You shrug and tell him its not good enough and if that's all he can offer then you'll take what you got and will see him soon. You go to tie the offering back up on the tree and he tips his hand. "NO WAIT, gently caress, okay okay. Look we can go two ways with this. Give me that offering and the little one up there with the blue feathers and I'll help you remember all that nice smelting technology, dig up some of the bog iron down in the lake AND I'll toss in a magic rock to keep those little gizmos of yours ticking. OR we can really have a good time, hack down that tree, carve my sign in it and all give you everything I just said, make it look like the other tribe stole it (they do some very fun things with reeds and their ladies are quiet the lookers) and I'll even whisper in that axe-happy chief's ear to take you down to the City of Black Stones on a guided tour. Just please, I really really need those cloths. C'mon man, you'd be dead in a bog by now if I didn't help you out."

Arkanomen fucked around with this message at 04:27 on Sep 21, 2015

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



I like the cut of his gib. Does he have any medium term goals we should head for, in the pursuit of further trades?

And Waci, I think phosgene is a lot easier to make than sarin :D Carbon monoxide + chlorine + sunlight.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug

LowellDND posted:

I like the cut of his gib. Does he have any medium term goals we should head for, in the pursuit of further trades?

And Waci, I think phosgene is a lot easier to make than sarin :D Carbon monoxide + chlorine + sunlight.

"Buddy, look I just need the cloth. One or two at least. I don't have any plans, honest. Just some good natured fun. Humans have a much better sense of humor than those scaly jerks. You'll be fine, more so if you hand over that insignificant chunk of cloth."

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

by Fluffdaddy
Take the first offer, don't cut down the tree

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Cut down the tree, we're starting a Great Crusade

We can get chlorine from electrolysis of salt water. Looks like burning any carbon fuels will get us carbon monoxide.

How we combine those in a jar is left as an exercise to the reader.

Waci
May 30, 2011

A boy and his dog.

LowellDND posted:

phosgene is a lot easier to make than sarin

A start is a start, not a destination :colbert:

Arkanomen posted:

"Buddy, look I just need the cloth. One or two at least. I don't have any plans, honest. Just some good natured fun. Humans have a much better sense of humor than those scaly jerks. You'll be fine, more so if you hand over that insignificant chunk of cloth."


Give him the cloth or two, don't cut down the tree yet. Can't have everything at once, can we?

LowellDND posted:

How we combine those in a jar is left as an exercise to the reader.

Both are heavier than air. We have clay pots. We can jiggle around with making a wide thingy we produce them under. Or maybe a leather reverse balloon type thing of some sort?

Waci fucked around with this message at 04:37 on Sep 21, 2015

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Waci posted:

A start is a start, not a destination :colbert:

Give him the cloth or two, don't cut down the tree yet. Can't have everything at once, can we?

Good point. Is the tree idea time sensitive?

And, I don't even know the industrial base we'd need for sarin :v: Im looking at stuff we can plausibly begin with.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003

Arkanomen posted:


You shrug and tell him its not good enough and if that's all he can offer then you'll take what you got and will see him soon. You go to tie the offering back up on the tree and he tips his hand. "NO WAIT, gently caress, okay okay. Look we can go two ways with this. Give me that offering and the little one up there with the blue feathers and I'll help you remember all that nice smelting technology, dig up some of the bog iron down in the lake AND I'll toss in a magic rock to keep those little gizmos of yours ticking. OR we can really have a good time, hack down that tree, carve my sign in it and all give you everything I just said, make it look like the other tribe stole it (they do some very fun things with reeds and their ladies are quiet the lookers) and I'll even whisper in that axe-happy chief's ear to take you down to the City of Black Stones on a guided tour. Just please, I really really need those cloths. C'mon man, you'd be dead in a bog by now if I didn't help you out."


2 cloths for everything in the first offer AND you will whisper the the chief to give us a tour of the city of the black stones. If nothing bad happens we will consider coming back to give you more offerings. How does this sound my friend?

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Without ... uh ... suggesting anything, can we find a fission reactor?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_nuclear_fission_reactor

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug

LowellDND posted:

Without ... uh ... suggesting anything, can we find a fission reactor?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_nuclear_fission_reactor

I know where one is. Other side of the mountains. Its.. kinda far and really deep. Can't miss it though. Good for another few thousand years!

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Okay, current sketch:

Casual mining to get copper and coal.
Use beehive ovens to turn coal into coke.
Use blast furnace with hot blast to melt copper.
Craft copper into weapons and armor.
Conquer everyone.
Use slave army to begin strip mining of coal and iron.
Mass produce blast furnaces with bessemer processes.
Use steal to make watt steam engines, steal weapons and armor, farming equipment.
Keep expanding via wars to expand the industrial base.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003

LowellDND posted:

Okay, current sketch:

Casual mining to get copper and coal.
Use beehive ovens to turn coal into coke.
Use blast furnace with hot blast to melt copper.
Craft copper into weapons and armor.
Conquer everyone.
Use slave army to begin strip mining of coal and iron.
Mass produce blast furnaces with bessemer processes.
Use steal to make watt steam engines, steal weapons and armor, farming equipment.
Keep expanding via wars to expand the industrial base.

We won't have enough time to do this in one lifetime I think.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003
Hey spider, how mad will the shaman and the rest of the tribe be if they found out we gave you the worthless cloth?

Waci
May 30, 2011

A boy and his dog.

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

We won't have enough time to do this in one lifetime I think.

Lives can be long. There may be others. We can work very fast with out friend here.

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

Hey spider, how mad will the shaman and the rest of the tribe be if they found out we gave you the worthless cloth?

Part of the deal is he makes sure they don't.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



And apparently the Romans had hydraulic mining.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruina_montium
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hushing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open-pit_mining

This place is going to look like such a hellhole when we're done with it :v:

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

We won't have enough time to do this in one lifetime I think.

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009

Do you like superheroes? Check out my CYOA Mutants: Uprising

How about weird historical fiction? Try Vampires of the Caribbean

I'm ok with giving this entirely trustworthy spider fellow two used menstrual pads for all this cool help. :D

edit: I'm sure he's not lying!

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003

Waci posted:

Part of the deal is he makes sure they don't.

That was only if we cut the tree down I thought.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003
if we cut down the tree will it make you stronger then the other spirit god things?

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003
OWL HELP US

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

Hey spider, how mad will the shaman and the rest of the tribe be if they found out we gave you the worthless cloth?

"I don't think they'd like it, but they were going to murder you in your sleep!"

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

if we cut down the tree will it make you stronger then the other spirit god things?

"Nah, but you would make me very very happy!"



"KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN! YOU WANT HER TO HEAR US!"

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Proposal to the thread: Mine instead of farm, make weapons, attack ASAP.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003

Arkanomen posted:

"KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN! YOU WANT HER TO HEAR US!"

What, are you afraid she would make a better offer?

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003

LowellDND posted:

Proposal to the thread: Mine instead of farm, make weapons, attack ASAP.

We need a large population to actually do anything. Can't do that without a stable food source.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

We need a large population to actually do anything. Can't do that without a stable food source.

Yeah, thats why I want to get more people under our control. So they can farm and mine for us.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003
Hey spider, what will it take to get some reptileman slaves, and some of their technology?

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

Hey spider, what will it take to get some reptileman slaves, and some of their technology?

Or a couple disc world Golems

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

Hey spider, what will it take to get some reptileman slaves, and some of their technology?

"You could always go to the city and ask the survivors? Hahah, good luck finding any. pfft.Maybe though."

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Or the ability to make Golems out of prisoners.

Or Servitors :v:

edit: Survivor is just another spelling of Servitor!

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

What, are you afraid she would make a better offer?

"No, but shes angry enough as it is that we're even playing together. Why tempt fate you know?"

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

LowellDND posted:

Proposal to the thread: Mine instead of farm, make weapons, attack ASAP.

Kekekeke

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Outrail posted:

Kekekeke

If we cut down the tree I think they will be angry enough :v:

I don't think we'll have time to train in phalanxes, so Imma propose some basic equipment for melee.

Bronze (later steel)
Cuirass
Faulds
Stahlhelm
Lochaber axe

Hm... We'll be slow moving, but really hard to damage.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Okay, so I talked to my knife friend, and he suggested a 'kama-yari' over a lochaber.



With a triple twist.



This has the advantage of being lighter and using less metal.

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Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Nerd! Neeeeeeeerrrrrrd! Copper knives and arrowheads. Let's go baby steps until they can invent their own crimes against humanity. (assuming they're human).

Also, we should hook up with dreadlock leaf.

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