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Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

Just add
NERD RAAAAAAGE




"A pleasant surprise, full of joy and old-fashioned romance, and set in a gorgeous, fully realized fantasy world"
- Kevin VanOrd, Gamespot.com

"An excellent title with solid game play, good character development, and a solid - if short - story full of societal criticism and in-depth analysis of modern issues [...] which makes powerful statements about the society in which we live"
- Johansen Quijano-Cruz, Eludamos Journal for Computer Game Culture

"Blast some piss onto this video game, out of my dick"
- Instant Grat, Eternal Sonata Session 4 Part 3, Recording notes

Eternal Sonata is a video game in which famous mid-1800s French Polish composer Freddy Frank Choppin spends his last night alive having fever dreams about hosed up anime people who are upset about taxes on bread.

It features such things as:
  • A 12 minute intro cutscene set in an idyllic village in which a mother tells her 8-year old daughter to throw herself off a cliff
  • A world in which being terminally ill gives you superpowers (nice wishful thinking there, Chopster)
  • Powerpoint slideshows
  • The phrase "I wish I'd grown up with Jazz"
  • A dream, within which is a flashback, within which is another flashback to earlier in the first flashback
It was made by Tri-Crescendo, the people who made music for Valkyrie Profile and Baten Kaitos before they decided to split and make their own company. Tri-Crescendo were also responsible for Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, which the Pork Lift and wateyad LP dream team have covered over here.

We (the people whose voices are available for you to listen to in the videos below) are Instant "Cool Guy" Grat, and Harris "Hellraiser" Bomberguy. We spent about 24 hours over a period of 5 days playing this video game, and we recorded it for you so that you can watch it if that sounds like a good time to you. Here is a video that Hbomb made me record to get you in the mood:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFBBmWpzh2o

Still here? Excellent! Let's just dive right in:




1. Go to hell, my terrible child (Polsy)
2. Don't eat the bread (Polsy)
3. Death & taxes (Polsy)
4. Choppin' (Polsy)
5. Hogfight (Polsy)
6. WAH HA HA! (Polsy)
7. George (Polsy)
8. Flash (Polsy)


9. Protein (Polsy)
10. A+ anime hair, IMO (Polsy)
11. Not a good dungeon (Polsy)
12. A good time (Polsy)
13. Kill Phil (Polsy)
14. Oh, we're back (Polsy)
15. Salsa "Yeehaw" Jackson (Polsy)
16. Eat the rich (Polsy)
17. Chapter Tu(ba) (Polsy)


18. Kaffe (Polsy)
19. Farron Gutterblight (Polsy)
20. Schmediting (Polsy)
21. Light the Candle (Polsy)
22. OP (Polsy)


23. Pirate Bay (Polsy)
24. Shipping (Polsy)
25. VINDICATION (Polsy)
26. Danceless (Polsy)
27. Freeze (Polsy)
28. gently caress you, mom (Polsy)
29. Briefly (Polsy)
29.5. LIVE STREAMING EXTRAVAGANZA (Polsy)
30. instant grat failure reel (Polsy)


31. Dawn of the 4th Day (Polsy)
32. Sean^3 (Polsy)
33. Half an hour of cutscenes (Polsy)
34. Are you loving kidding (Polsy)
35. Ice to stab you (Polsy)
35.5 LIVE!!! AGAIN!!! (Polsy)


36. A stupid plan (Polsy)
37. Two idiots (Polsy)
38. Bitch Death Hell (Polsy)


39. Foresight / Afterlife (Polsy)
40. Nocturne op.9 No.2 (Polsy)
41. Chuunibyou (Polsy)
42. Garlic Dad (Polsy)
43. Podblast from the Podpast (Polsy)


44. Life is a flat circle (Polsy)

Instant Grat fucked around with this message at 07:10 on Aug 1, 2017

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Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

Just add
NERD RAAAAAAGE



as drawn and written by Hbomb

POLKA



Polka is dying of an unknown terminal disease. The disease is unknown either because we're not told what it is or I wasn't paying attention. Either way, this also means she has magical powers.

One of these powers is to use an umbrella as a weapon and get away with it. Others are glowing orange, and diving off a cliff. An amazing array of skills.

Polka is very briefly passed off as the main character before being completely subordinated by some guy with a top hat, and another guy with a shoulder pad made of feathers for some reason. It's a metaphor for our society and how it does that to women.

ALLEGRETTO



Allegretto is an incredibly pretty teenage boy-man who appears to run a small team of sewer-dwelling, yet remarkably well-dressed, equipped and camera-owning, orphan thieves. He's got a weird feather wing thing, presumably because he wanted to cosplay Sephiroth.

Apart from a bit where he briefly rants in detail about the systemic problems with Capitalism, he mostly has very little to say except textbook 'you're mean!' or 'wow, that was good music playing, Frederic' (spoilers, music man plays music) stuff you get with anime protagonists. He makes up for it by being written as comically dumb, so lots of his interactions with NPCs and dialogue about him is pretty funny.

Characters keep claiming there's romantic tension between Allegretto and Polka but we never see any. Presumably all those scenes got cut in favor of sewer levels.

BEAT


Beat is Allegretto's little brother/pseudo-brother. Either way they're both homeless kids.

Beat's got a cool gun that doubles as a hammer, and also a camera. How he owns these incredibly expensive and (from what we see of the game) potentially one-of-a-kind items is currently unknown.

His plot purpose is mostly to be a dumb foil for Allegretto to talk down to, but as far as 'annoying kid' characters go, I kinda like him. He plays off quite well with other characters who turn up later. He strikes a good balance between 'slightly brash child who doesn't take things seriously' with 'relatively innocent person coming to terms with the depths of human suffering.' So like Hope from FF13 but if he was in a game with writers or a story.

FRÉDÉRIC FRANÇOIS CHOPIN

(bonus version with no lines)

Freddy Chopping is the main character, in a sense. He's dying, and the game is his dying dream. Or maybe it isn't? They sort of imply? I hope it isn't, because he's barely in it and mostly talks about how weird his dream is and plays really good piano offscreen while the real story happens.

Because his weapon is frequently referred to as a 'shaft', Freddo is fodder for numerous jokes that Grat is going to edit out

gratnote: you are seriously overestimating my willingness to spend time editing audio

VIOLA



Viola herds goats. This features in her design in the form of those weird bunched-up goat ear/horn shapes in her hair. Unfortunately the rest of her design got mixed up with an unrelated character who dances in a cage in a goat-themed nightclub.

Viola is upset that goats are being taxed - or something? More importantly, a life of defending goats from whatever the natural predator of a goat is, which I can only assume is God himself, has led to her becoming a murdermaster who can carry the whole party singlehandedly. Her character development is, she briefly wonders if it's okay to be single at age 26 (a spinster in Anime years), then decides it is and continues to gank fools for ever.

I like Viola because, apart from her design, she is almost completely untainted by the Anime Madness that has infected most of the story. She doesn't have to serve the bullshit plot very much so she's completely free to just do whatever

Her pet, Arco, is not in this picture because I forgot he exists at all. But that's how rad Viola is. She has a bullshit anime companion and they don't even turn up enough to imprint on your memory.

JAZZ



One morning, Jazz' best friend, a performance artist, got arrested for making weird pointless inventions and bothering people with their modern art pieces. In protest, Jazz took up his jailed friend's latest creations, the trumpet...sword (made to "highlight the performative nature of violence, or something, look, war is bad okay Jazz") and founded a revolution with two other people he knew from high school. Jazz is a tactical mastermind and a true thorn in the side of authority, despite the minor setback of literally one third of his group being spies.



When me and Hbomb played this game, we were playing on the Xbox 360. There is, however, a PS3 version of this game, which features a bunch of extra stuff that wasn't in the 360 release. Aside from increased combat difficulty, the most notable changes are an extra dungeon (lord have mercy) and a bunch of additional cutscenes (LORD HAVE MERCY).

Thread poster pichupal owns the PS3 version of this game, and has offered to keep us posted on the extra stuff. So, if you're following this thread and thinking to yourself that what this game needs is even more cutscenes, this is the place for you.

The first differences already crop up in the game's intro. This video slots in before the very first bits of the 360 version's intro, as seen in Update 1 of this thread.

pichupal posted:

Eternal Sonata PS3 differences - Part 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE2RSv_OCBM

I kept part of the scene at the end to show where it connects back to the 360 version and to show off that Polka, Beat and Allegretto get the ability to change outfits in the PS3 version. She'll still be in her normal dress your first time through though.

The next place differences crop up is right after Update 17, at the end of the game's Chapter 2.

pichupal posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vrHZQ3otMU
So, the three scenes in this video:

The first takes place right as you enter Fort Fermata, same as the 360 version. Except, instead of monologuing his concerns about dreams and reality he just flat out tells everyone hey, I think you're in my dream. Then Polka gets angry at Allegretto. This conversation is even stupider when it's not all in his head. (I also forgot this scene was different in the 360 version and had to reupload it).

The second scene I added because both you and the designers realized the lead up to the mineral powder conversation came out of nowhere.

The last one is actually the second Attract Mode that can play on the PS3 version. It crams in another moment for Allegretto and Polka, but it also shows the terrible loss of Salsa's hat to the waves. Will they be reunited?

The least important addition that I stuck in a separate video is another song. The piano you examined in Forte will play Mazurka in B Minor (Opus. 33 No. 4). No powerpoint or anything. Just the song. It's... pretty nice, I guess? I have no idea why they thought they needed to add it. Incidentally, Mazurka is Falsetto's French name.

Instant Grat fucked around with this message at 12:23 on Aug 16, 2016

Great Joe
Aug 13, 2008



Ground floor of a masterpiece.

Hbomberguy
Jul 4, 2009

[culla=big red]TufFEE did nO THINg W̡RA̸NG[/read]



God drat it, Joe

Beat me to posting in my own thread

Shut it down, Grat. I'm not having this.

Great Joe
Aug 13, 2008



My posting game is always on point.

Logicblade
Aug 13, 2014

Festival with your real* little sister!


It's time for the loving Beat Show.

MechanicalTomPetty
Oct 30, 2011

Runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me


Hbomberguy posted:

God drat it, Joe

Beat me to posting in my own thread

Shut it down, Grat. I'm not having this.

You might say this LP is already...

OFF-BEAT!

Alright I've made my yearly offering to geop, god of puns. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW GEOP?!

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

Just add
NERD RAAAAAAGE


Hbomberguy posted:

God drat it, Joe

Beat me to posting in my own thread

Shut it down, Grat. I'm not having this.

You are grounded

Great Joe
Aug 13, 2008



So wait, you're just putting the word "beat" into sentences and calling that enough? Falls a little flat to me.

Dr Pepper
Feb 4, 2012

Don't like it? well...



I must admit I enjoy this game in all its absurd melodrama.

Suspicious Dish
Sep 24, 2011

2020 is the year of linux on the desktop, bro


Fun Shoe

This game is remarkably tone-deaf.

OmanyteJackson
Mar 18, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo


Great Joe posted:

So wait, you're just putting the word "beat" into sentences and calling that enough? Falls a little flat to me.

this is good punmanship, everyone take note.

Dragas
Apr 21, 2010

something something polish lithuania commonwealth will rise from the ashes


As a counterpoint to the previous voices, I must say I'm really finding the writing sharp.

Suspicious Dish
Sep 24, 2011

2020 is the year of linux on the desktop, bro


Fun Shoe

Dragas posted:

As a counterpoint to the previous voices, I must say I'm really finding the writing sharp.

Really? What about the part where she recommended suicide to A Minor? GREAT WRITING.

Indeterminacy
Sep 9, 2011

Excuse me, your Rabbit parts are undetached.

Suspicious Dish posted:

Really? What about the part where she recommended suicide to A Minor? GREAT WRITING.
Alright, alright, you don't need to harp on about it.

Logicblade
Aug 13, 2014

Festival with your real* little sister!


I'm afraid punmanship is not my forte. I'm just gonna waltz out of this topic...

pichupal
Mar 23, 2013

Poochy ain't Stupid.
I might be.


OmanyteJackson posted:

this is good punmanship, everyone take note.

Just a quarter note.

For those who don't know, a PS3 port of Eternal Sonata was released about a year after the 360 one. Along with extra dungeons, it attempted to 'fix' the plot and made minor changes to dialogue, added scenes (an extra 2 minutes on that intro) It doesn't really help, but I ended up enjoying this silly anime game anyways.

I'll try to comment on any interesting differences that actually happen. The stuff added here is technically important, but the game will harp on it multiple times later.

Dragas
Apr 21, 2010

something something polish lithuania commonwealth will rise from the ashes


I also find the very idea that Chopin was ever a French composer very dissonant. Please do not denigrate my Polish heritage.

Great Joe
Aug 13, 2008



OmanyteJackson posted:

this is good punmanship, everyone take note.
Bach.

Stormgale
Feb 27, 2010



Dragas posted:

I also find the very idea that Chopin was ever a French composer very dissonant. Please do not denigrate my Polish heritage.

Well if there was something this game could do with it's a little Polish.

Dragas
Apr 21, 2010

something something polish lithuania commonwealth will rise from the ashes


You'll be unsurprised to find that tenuto is also a musical term

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

Just add
NERD RAAAAAAGE


everyone posted:

puns



Dragas posted:

I also find the very idea that Chopin was ever a French composer very dissonant. Please do not denigrate my Polish heritage.

I promise you that we do eventually discover the true heritage of Freddo Choppings.

pichupal posted:

Just a quarter note.

For those who don't know, a PS3 port of Eternal Sonata was released about a year after the 360 one. Along with extra dungeons, it attempted to 'fix' the plot and made minor changes to dialogue, added scenes (an extra 2 minutes on that intro) It doesn't really help, but I ended up enjoying this silly anime game anyways.

I'll try to comment on any interesting differences that actually happen. The stuff added here is technically important, but the game will harp on it multiple times later.

In my head, I somehow got this game mixed up with Tales of Vesperia, and assumed that the "enhanced" (for lack of a better word) PS3 port was Japan-only.

Although it is probably for the best that there wasn't even more dungeons in the game. The 360 version was just about all we could take.

Instant Grat fucked around with this message at 12:48 on Aug 8, 2015

Geop
Oct 26, 2007



BUSTS DOWN THE DOOR
HELLO

Oh my god Eternal Sonata. Why did you do this Noooooo...

RBA Starblade
Apr 27, 2008

Going Home.



Games Idiot Court Jester


For some bad reason I co-oped this with my brother and it is stunning how stupid it gets so quickly.


Music pun.

Lord Ephraim
Feb 22, 2008

That's one way to get ahead in life, but nothing beats an axe to the face.

I've never played a game where the fundamental mechanics of the game gets worse the more you play it.

Apparently the PS3 version of the game is twice as hard as the original. I watched someone play the xbox copy and steamrolled through everything. Enemies were HP sponges when I played it on the PS3.

pichupal
Mar 23, 2013

Poochy ain't Stupid.
I might be.


Yup, less EXP in battles, they're generally tougher, you learn the better skills later in some cases, and pictures are harder to take well and sell for a lot less.

ivantod
Mar 27, 2010

Mahalo, fuckers.

I remember the strangest thing that annoyed me when I played the game... in "continuous" dialogue in cutscenes (so when you don't have to press a button to advance) somehow the voice actors still recorded their lines one screenful at a time, so there were weird pauses all the time until the subtitles change to the next line. Not that the voice acting in this game is all that great to begin with, but...

In the end I didn't even finish the game, it was a bit too boring and battles were getting tedious. Actually now I'm not sure any more, it might be that I got stuck on a boss somewhere too.

Oh well, will be following this for sure.

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"


Well. This looks batshit crazy.

Mother's advice managed to be both capricious and wildly dissonant, and felt like a series of unending variations on the same theme. She really ought to take a couple of pints of gin and go lie down.

ArchWizard
Mar 27, 2009

There's the Roy I know and love.


Are we going to spend the whole game listening to Polka's voice acting? Because if we are then I'm gonna do a 360 and mazurka on outta here.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011




Lord Ephraim posted:

Apparently the PS3 version of the game is twice as hard as the original. I watched someone play the xbox copy and steamrolled through everything. Enemies were HP sponges when I played it on the PS3.

Ayuuuup. I stopped playing when the magic goats in a new area started to take off 50% of my HP with each attack.

Mr. Soop
Feb 18, 2011


So glad I fought the temptation to buy this game on sale.

Captain Bravo
Feb 16, 2011

An Emergency Shitpost
has been deployed...

...but experts warn it is
just a drop in the ocean.

This game has just... just so many flaws. But I love it to pieces all the same. I played the poo poo out of it when it first launched, and I think I may even still have my original copy. I'm waiting with baited breath to see the lp hit some of the hosed-up spots.

Strong Mouse
Jun 11, 2012

You disrespect us. You drag corpses around. You steal, and you hurt feelings!

RRRRRRRAAAAARGH!

Prepare to die!


This LP is already starting to look wonderful. I just hope that these music puns don't continue to fall flat.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

Just add
NERD RAAAAAAGE


Bonus content:



(props to forums user Suspicious Dish for making me a template photoshop file for this)

Great Joe
Aug 13, 2008



Strong Mouse posted:

This LP is already starting to look wonderful. I just hope that these music puns don't continue to fall flat.
you dissonant fuckre

Mraagvpeine
Nov 4, 2014

I won this avatar on a technicality this thick.

Come now, can't we all live in harmony?

Suspicious Dish
Sep 24, 2011

2020 is the year of linux on the desktop, bro


Fun Shoe

Mraagvpeine posted:

Come now, can't we all live in harmony?

Dragas
Apr 21, 2010

something something polish lithuania commonwealth will rise from the ashes


liszt was better

Forgall
Oct 16, 2012

What're you lookin' at?


Dragas posted:

liszt was better

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Skippy Granola
Sep 3, 2011

It's not what it looks like.


What? show-PAHN?

Well now this poo poo doesn't make any sense

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