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Shadow Pussy Wanter
Jan 20, 2009


Pillbug

-Yo mama is so ugly, I mean, relative to you.

-Did you fall out of the beautiful tree and hit every branch on the way down?

-[While she's eating a meal] Wow, your meal looks really beautiful, but you know what they say you are what you eat.

-I spend hours and hours every day on cam model websites where I look at young naked women prance around for tokens, which means I have extremely discerning tastes when it comes to women's bodies and yours is really good to me.

- You're so pretty... pretty sexually attractive that is!

Post your own favorite pick up lines.

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Diabeesting
Apr 29, 2006

turn right to escape

Hi, I'm Doug, that's god spelled backwards with a little bit of yoU wrapped up in the middle!


It's worked

Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


"If I asked you to have sex with me, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?"

It's brilliant, because no matter what their answer they are then legally obligated to have sex with you. You can't lose.

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless


"What do you charge for mouth stuff?"

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP





Always reliable and work in all terrains.
Wonderful.

havalux
Oct 26, 2010

IRONKNUCKLE PERMABANNED! OFFERS 10-TOPIC POLITICAL DEBATE TO ANY LIBERAL - ONE SA MEMBER STARTS TO ACCEPT, THEN BACKS OUT AND WETS PANTS AFTER LEARNING IRONKNUCKLE HAS DEBATED ON TELEVISION BEFORE! READ HERE

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you sit on my face for fifteen-twenty minutes?

Shadow Pussy Wanter
Jan 20, 2009


Pillbug

Tiggum posted:

"If I asked you to have sex with me, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?"

It's brilliant, because no matter what their answer they are then legally obligated to have sex with you. You can't lose.

I've tried this one before, and they can defeat the trick by just sighing angrily, or ignoring you while walking away.

Sulla Faex
May 14, 2010

No man ever did me so much good, or enemy so much harm, but I repaid him with ENDLESS SHITPOSTING


*looks up and down* noice...

1redflag
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


Cocaine.

And Tyler Too!
Aug 15, 2007
ROCKET JOCKEY OWNS

Stichelin it is, thank you!


Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


i know its scary walking this deep in the woods but you're not the one who has to walk out alone

Shadow Pussy Wanter
Jan 20, 2009


Pillbug

After getting them to play the 'I spy' game. "I spy something that is handsome beyond words" while looking directly at them.

Thirteen Orphans
Dec 2, 2012

The principles expressed in the martial arts make up the backbone of my philosophy.

"I'm worried about your rear end, ma'am. It's been working hard it's whole life, sweatin' and toilin'; it should really retire. But it just.... won't... quit... "

Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013
some dirty-sneaker-inbred-out of the woods-Pabst beer pussy methhead-junkie running all around town telling EVERYONE EVERYTHING ABOUT ELON MUSK


I just fixed my horribly mangled dick, want to take it for a test run?

Anil Dikshit
Apr 11, 2007


Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


oh you look good that color

Shadow Pussy Wanter
Jan 20, 2009


Pillbug

Why did the moron throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of you, the beautiful women he wanted so badly to spend time with.

David Copperfield
Mar 14, 2004


im david copperfield


Nice boots, want to remove every other article of clothing and fornicate in my race car bed?

Zombear
Dec 4, 2007
Catchphrase!

Post your favorite your favorite pick-up lines

Your place or my mom's?

Maximum Tomfoolery
Apr 12, 2010



Get in the car, I have a gun.

Chase Derringer
Jun 18, 2011

Hello! Ma baby
Hello! Ma honey
Hello! Ma *SKREEEEEEEEEEE*

Lipstick Apathy

Is your dad an astronaut? Because I'm really horny right now.

Maximum Tomfoolery
Apr 12, 2010



Do you have stairs in your house?

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless


HEY PRETTY LADY WANT TO MAKE THE SEX
...
WHORE

in a strong Indian accent

And Tyler Too!
Aug 15, 2007
ROCKET JOCKEY OWNS

Stichelin it is, thank you!


<I AM SEX-O-TRON 2000>

<PRIME DIRECTIVE: ENGAGE REPRODUCTIVE FUNCTIONS>

<ROTORS ENGAGING>

<PREPARE TO RECEIVE THE gently caress>

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing



sitchelin posted:

<I AM SEX-O-TRON 2000>

<PRIME DIRECTIVE: ENGAGE REPRODUCTIVE FUNCTIONS>

<ROTORS ENGAGING>

<PREPARE TO RECEIVE THE gently caress>

Same, but doing my best Butlertron impression.

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?



At youth camp, we once let the children come up with their own pick-up lines for a game.

My favourite was "Wanna see my shower? It's glowing!"

Maximum Tomfoolery
Apr 12, 2010



Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


System Metternich posted:

At youth camp, we once let the children come up with their own pick-up lines for a game.

My favourite was "Wanna see my shower? It's glowing!"

Replace shower with penis and glowing with oozing and you might be onto something.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning






anime is bad

evobatman
Jul 30, 2006

it means nothing, but says everything!

Pillbug

"Hi. Nice tits."

Has worked twice. Did not work a bunch of other times.

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless



Did he just say 'Anime is good'?

Shadow Pussy Wanter
Jan 20, 2009


Pillbug

Does anyone have a tactful way of asking if someone will have sex with me for drugs? I actually have a lot of drugs that are good to have sex on so it's isn't a lie or anything bad

Shadow Pussy Wanter has a new favorite as of 08:33 on Aug 24, 2015

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing



Frykte posted:

Does anyone have a tactful way of asking if someone will have sex with me for drugs? I actually have a lot of drugs that are good to have sex on so it's isn't a lie or anything bad

I assume you're just standing up in a bar and shouting this as your pickup line. If you are, you already got it down.

Tiberius Thyben has a new favorite as of 03:55 on Aug 25, 2015

Shadow Pussy Wanter
Jan 20, 2009


Pillbug

A good pick up line is just to ask really politely "Would you please have sex with me? I would really appreciate it."

McPhearson
Aug 4, 2007

Hot Damn!





I heard your pants stop hiring because that rear end just wouldn't quit.

Schneider Inside Her
Aug 6, 2009

Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman

Cocaine

Rough Lobster
May 27, 2009

Don't be such a squid, bro


Be sure to bend ur knees not ur back

Maximum Tomfoolery
Apr 12, 2010



(After eyeing them up and down) You'll do.

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Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


Get out of my dreams and into the trunk of my car

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