Seraph Citizen: F off, non-factor wageslave plebescrubs

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Seraph Citizen: F off, non-factor wageslave plebescrubs

DancingShade: Jul 26, 2007; by Fluffdaddy
(and can't post for 5 days!)

Prop Wash posted:

If your space court is not displaying a star citizen flag with gold edges then it is not a legitimate space court of law, also my name is *click burp bwzzzzzzt* so good luck getting that right

What a coincidence, *click burp bwzzzzzzt* is exactly the same sound a fat space cop makes when he tazes a "Free Man".

# ? Aug 22, 2015 15:33

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 12:41

Sushi in Yiddish: Feb 2, 2008

Sarsapariller posted:

A true masterpiece:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3RHzcgrbV8

Mods, please rename thread to "Doubters, inc"

# ? Aug 22, 2015 15:45

Seraph84: Aug 9, 2015; by XyloJW

Sushi in Yiddish posted:

Mods, please rename thread to "Doubters, inc"

"You can join in for a small fee" ought to be changed to "the first dose is always free". My first pledge was for $35 in November '13. I remember thinking it wouldn't be a big deal if the game ended up as vapor, cause I'd only be out $35.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 15:53

Sjonnar: Oct 22, 2011

Seraph84 posted:

"You can join in for a small fee" ought to be changed to "the first dose is always free". My first pledge was for $35 in November '13. I remember thinking it wouldn't be a big deal if the game ended up as vapor, cause I'd only be out $35.

Hey, you're a bitcoin billionaire. Even when the game ends up as vapor, you're only out a couple grand, no big deal.
Unless of course, you're not really rich and you blew your life savings on pictures of spaceships.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:21

Sjonnar: Oct 22, 2011

Hey, what do you think of my spaceship names seraph, pretty cool huh?

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:23

Seraph84: Aug 9, 2015; by XyloJW

Sjonnar posted:

Hey, what do you think of my spaceship names seraph, pretty cool huh?

Sorry plebescrub, I only talk to cool guys with avatars.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:28

Sjonnar: Oct 22, 2011

Seraph84 posted:

Sorry plebescrub, I only talk to cool guys with avatars.

Then buy me an AV, dirtbag.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:34

Seraph84: Aug 9, 2015; by XyloJW

Sjonnar posted:

Then buy me an AV, dirtbag.

Get a job kid, or earn your av with funny posts like everyone else did.

On second thought, just get a job. I can already tell you don't have what it takes to make me so much as smirk, let alone laugh.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:35

Sjonnar: Oct 22, 2011

Hey, i dunno if you noticed, but your "girlfriend" has no hips and a flat butt.
Are you sure that's not your butt wearing some 13-year-old's panties you bought off ebay?

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:36

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:38

Sjonnar: Oct 22, 2011

Seraph84 posted:

Get a job kid, or earn your av with funny posts like everyone else did.

On second thought, just get a job. I can already tell you don't have what it takes to make me so much as smirk, let alone laugh.

But why would you want me to be a poor wageslave like you? I thought you were a cool anti-capitalist anarchist who wanted to free the world from the tyranny of fiat currency.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:40

Seraph84: Aug 9, 2015; by XyloJW

Sjonnar posted:

I thought you were a cool anti-capitalist anarchist who wanted to free the world from the tyranny of fiat currency.

I want to liberate everyone except you.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:41

Beer4TheBeerGod: Aug 23, 2004; Exciting Lemon

Dusty Lens posted:

If the Cutlass ends up being the ship people use to do things that otherwise are reserved for $73289038120 behemoth ships that's not a terrible thing.

The ship still doesn't justify its huge engines or cross section. But, oh well.

Maybe it'll have a space court module.

In another thread Calix acknowledged that the Cutlass needs to be fixed from a thruster standpoint.

motorocker posted:

Does anyone own a ship on this thread?

Im vested in my Retaliator joke. Beer seems sad about the Cutlass.

Does anyone else, aside from that weird guy, actually have a ship? Just curious.

If you sold it on Reddit for dollars, congratulations.

I have a pair of Avengers, Reliant, Delta, Cutlass, Caterpillar, and Retaliator. The Avengers and Delta were from cheap packages I bought with that AMD game promotion last year (like $10 each) and they're so I can lend them to Goons.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 16:52

Sushi in Yiddish: Feb 2, 2008

Fil5000 posted:

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well the pledge starts comin' and it don't stop comin
Plead to the whales and you hit the crowd fundin'

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:04

flamingdawg: May 25, 2006

Seraph84 posted:

So what's everybody naming their ships? Here's my ideas so far:

Mustang: Sally

P-52 Merlin: Hitachi Magic Wand

Super Hornet: A Better Mousetrap

Starfarer Gemini: Tor Pedo Bait

Redeemer: Bite the Pillow

Caterpillar: ~~Goin in Dry~~ Awkward Boner

Merchantman: Seems Legit

Reclaimer: Pubbie Donation Processing

Endeavor: Fat Pink Mast (ship will obv be pink; currently this ship exists as a Carrack awaiting melt day)

Javelin Destroyer: Problem Child

shut up

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:05

DoctorStrangelove: Jun 7, 2012; IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

Seraph84 posted:

So what's everybody naming their ships? Here's my ideas so far:

Mustang: Sally

P-52 Merlin: Hitachi Magic Wand

Super Hornet: A Better Mousetrap

Starfarer Gemini: Tor Pedo Bait

Redeemer: Bite the Pillow

Caterpillar: ~~Goin in Dry~~ Awkward Boner

Merchantman: Seems Legit

Reclaimer: Pubbie Donation Processing

Endeavor: Fat Pink Mast (ship will obv be pink; currently this ship exists as a Carrack awaiting melt day)

Javelin Destroyer: Problem Child

u should name you're ships after the kids you've diddled.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:07

Seraph84: Aug 9, 2015; by XyloJW

DoctorStrangelove posted:

u should name you're ships after the kids you've diddled.

Guize I am ships?

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:15

Variable 5: Apr 17, 2007; We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.; Grimey Drawer

Seraph84 posted:

Guize I am ships?

Stop posting

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:22

Seraph84: Aug 9, 2015; by XyloJW

Variable 5 posted:

Stop posting

Please refer to my avatar, the alphagoon does not take instructions from betas. In order to challenge my Alphagoon status you will need to provide proof (to the satisfaction of this committee) of:

Until then, sit down and shut up.

Thank you and warm regards,

Seraph,

The real Alphagoon

Seraph84 fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Aug 22, 2015

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:29

DoctorStrangelove: Jun 7, 2012; IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

Seraph84 posted:

Please refer to my avatar, the alphagoon does not take instructions from betas. In order to challenge my Alphagoon status you will need to provide proof (to the satisfaction of this committee) of:

Physical fitness

Financial solvency

Non-fat girlfriend or gently caress buddy

Intelligence

Wit

Guess that means you're more of a gamma goon.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:37

Sjonnar: Oct 22, 2011

Guys, stop pissing him off. Some barely adolescent girl is gonna pay for that later.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:37

Decrepus: May 21, 2008; In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.

I spent my whole SSD check on Star Citizen this month lol

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:41

Tank Boy Ken: Aug 24, 2012; J4G for life; Fallen Rib

Seraph84 posted:

[*] Physical fitness
[*] Financial solvency
[*] Non-fat girlfriend or gently caress buddy
[*] Intelligence
[*] Wit[/list]

I don't recall any proof you posted here.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:43

Seraph84: Aug 9, 2015; by XyloJW

DoctorStrangelove posted:

Guess that means you're more of a gamma goon.

I almost forgot, there's a sixth criterion for alphagoon status here in the Star Citizen thread. It's one that most of the evegoons will forever hopelessly fail at: twitch skill.

Tank Boy Ken posted:

I don't recall any proof you posted here.

Please refer to my Alphagoon Assertion Post, now with links.

Seraph84 fucked around with this message at 17:52 on Aug 22, 2015

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:45

Variable 5: Apr 17, 2007; We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.; Grimey Drawer

Sjonnar posted:

Guys, stop pissing him off. Some barely adolescent girl is gonna pay for that later.

Oh? Is he looking for slightly older targets now?

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:45

DoctorStrangelove: Jun 7, 2012; IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

Seraph84 posted:

I almost forgot, there's a sixth criterion for alphagoon status here in the Star Citizen thread, one that most of the evegoons will forever hopelessly fail at: twitch skill.

Don't loving talk to me about FPS skill you little faggotbitch. I am Somethingawful-dot-com's top rated JOHN ROMERO'S DAIKATANA, the only true pure expert FPS, player and I will loving destroy you. Come on, 1v1 me bro. Unless you're too scared.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:46

Tank Boy Ken: Aug 24, 2012; J4G for life; Fallen Rib

Seraph84 posted:

I almost forgot, there's a sixth criterion for alphagoon status here in the Star Citizen thread. It's one that most of the evegoons will forever hopelessly fail at: twitch skill.

48% win, 1.26 Kd. Are those your stats? And do you consider them good?

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:51

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

It seems the only winning move is not to put any effort into posting

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:52

Seraph84: Aug 9, 2015; by XyloJW

Tank Boy Ken posted:

48% win, 1.26 Kd. Are those your stats? And do you consider them good?

I prefer to play the underdog team, and will usually switch to the losing side when a game becomes one-sided, as they often do. PTFO stands for "play the loving objective". Battlefield isn't about KDR, go back to Counterstrike, child.

Fil5000 posted:

It seems the only winning move is not to put any effort into posting

There is no winning move. The game is already over, you've lost.

Seraph84 fucked around with this message at 18:00 on Aug 22, 2015

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:54

Tank Boy Ken: Aug 24, 2012; J4G for life; Fallen Rib

Seraph84 posted:

I prefer to play the underdog team, and will usually switch to the losing side when a game becomes one-sided, as they often do. Battlefield isn't about KDR, go back to Counterstrike, child.

same.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:55

The Marauder: Dec 1, 2013; Why walk out when you can outrun?

Seraph84 posted:

I almost forgot, there's a sixth criterion for alphagoon status here in the Star Citizen thread. It's one that most of the evegoons will forever hopelessly fail at: twitch skill.

Please refer to my Alphagoon Assertion Post, now with links.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsZMbs5PC64

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:55

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

I am the only white noise poster that matters in this thread.

I also have spaceships.

quote="Fil5000" post="449282125"]
It seems the only winning move is not to put any effort into posting
[/quote]it is the star citizen thread.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 17:58

Tank Boy Ken: Aug 24, 2012; J4G for life; Fallen Rib

Seraph84 posted:

Physical fitness - Getting beaten != fit

Financial solvency - spaceShip.jpgs ain't a currency

Twitch skill - ... low skill is still skill. gotta give you that.

Intelligence

Wit

"intelligence"

Seraph84 posted:

You are gravely mistaken if you think a twenty-first century revolution would be so similar to the ones you've read about in your history books. The future is almost always unrecognizable to the past, just as the past almost always appears to be farcical lunacy to we who occupy the present.

Violence is the lifeblood of capitalism, sustaining it even now. It will not be a violent seizing of wealth that closes this chapter of human history, but anti-violence - empathy. It will be an emerging ethical framework well-rooted in reason and untainted by economic fundamentalism.

When we're ready, we won't have to force the rich to give up their fortunes at the barrel of a gun. They will give it to us willingly, because by that time sufficient needless tragedy will have been caused by capitalism that (almost) no one will want to play that game anymore. A decent analogy for this is the total impossibility of a properly fascist regime emerging in Germany today. As an aside, I suspect Germany will likely be one of the first places the new civilization emerges.

"Wit" != this;

Seraph84 posted:

Methinks thou doth protest too much. The way to spot a closet hebephile is the same way you spot a closet homosexual - look for the ones who bash it.

ITT: A bunch of dudes so terrified by their own sexuality that they witch hunt anyone who dares to plainly tell it like it is. We all know 75% of you nerds beat it to pubescent-girl anime porn three or more times per week, so just drop this asinine moral-pretense and admit you want to gently caress teenage looking girls.

Your posts are the best arguments against your "proofs". I guess this doesn't make you think.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 18:00

Seraph84: Aug 9, 2015; by XyloJW

I don't think you understand how this process works, Ken. Trying to knock me off the pedestal that you yourself have elevated me to from down there in the smelly crowd of turdlings only makes you look bad.

You have to put up or shut up.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Aug 22, 2015 18:04

DoctorStrangelove: Jun 7, 2012; IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

You have no loving claim to FPS skill until you 1v1 me in JOHN ROMERO'S DAIKATANA you goddamn cockbreath commie motherfucker.

# ? Aug 22, 2015 18:07

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

I honestly don't understand why none of these losers get it.

*kisses curled bicep and points in mirror*

# ? Aug 22, 2015 18:08

Sedisp: Jun 20, 2012

Did you know Seraph that it's scientifically proven that most men don't have their brains tell them it's time to reproduce when they're looking at teenagers?

So maybe stop projecting?

# ? Aug 22, 2015 18:10