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kalensc
Sep 10, 2003

Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby
NEW RULE! NEW RULE!

"All by charagder id drippig out by node!"

Q: What breeds character? Winning at sports! How do you learn to win? With a top-notch coach! HC roster spot is activated.

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Marshmallow Blue
Apr 25, 2010
When will the roster spots we have be posted?

Anubis
Oct 9, 2003

It's hard to keep sand out of ears this big.
Fun Shoe

Marshmallow Blue posted:

When will the roster spots we have be posted?

After the rules close, so Wednesday night. For right now the running tab is QB/RB/RB/WR/WR/FLEX/K/DEF/HC

Marshmallow Blue
Apr 25, 2010
Feeling okay about this week. Projected for a healthy -2156 . As a bonus, the title of my match up is Just Sacked at the Sidewalk.

Anubis
Oct 9, 2003

It's hard to keep sand out of ears this big.
Fun Shoe
Rules are now locked for Week 1.

Your roster is:
QB
RB
RB
WR
WR
FLEX
K
DEF
HC

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice

Anubis posted:

Rules are now locked for Week 1.

Your roster is:
QB
RB
RB
WR
WR
FLEX
K
DEF
HC

So do I have to drop everyone else from my team that's not in any of these spots or the bench?

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



JPrime posted:

So do I have to drop everyone else from my team that's not in any of these spots or the bench?

Bench em. We can go as high as 4 wr, RBs etc, makes sense to keep all your players just in case.

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice

OxySnake posted:

Bench em. We can go as high as 4 wr, RBs etc, makes sense to keep all your players just in case.

My bench is full? :confused:

kalensc
Sep 10, 2003

Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby

JPrime posted:

My bench is full? :confused:

Unlimited bench spots, just keep moving them there and it will accept it iirc.

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice

kalensc posted:

Unlimited bench spots, just keep moving them there and it will accept it iirc.

Aha! Thanks, sorry for all the first-timer questions.

Baldrash
Oct 26, 2005
I'm already enjoying the kicker rules with Josh Scobee being a failure tonight. Keep missin' 'em bud.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Flacco for McCown, I feel like I'm getting ripped off but I also don't understand what's going on

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice
Up a nice 7000-0 here. :toot:

Fight Club Sandwich
Apr 29, 2006

you want a piece of me???
HC scoring was intended to counterbalance DST scoring but I may have overshot

Yoshifan823
Feb 19, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Fight Club Sandwich posted:

HC scoring was intended to counterbalance DST scoring but I may have overshot

Well then, go Ravens!

kalensc
Sep 10, 2003

Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby
Was really regretting benching Ben until that last-second TD knocked him down a few thousand points.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy

kalensc posted:

Was really regretting benching Ben until that last-second TD knocked him down a few thousand points.

Now watch the QB you played instead throw for 4 :v:

e: Yep, Wilson2Graham all day.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy
Jesus christ Mariota is going to kill me :psyduck:

e: gently caress me, 3 TDs. Are you serious?

Fenrir fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Sep 13, 2015

Aredna
Mar 17, 2007
Nap Ghost
Between Mike Evans not starting and me somehow forgetting to save my lineup when I went to remove the flex spot... It looks like I'll actually start the correct number of players this week.

Now we need to get like 35 points from the Falcons this week.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy
I'm not going to get penalized for Starks, right? I mean, he did make actual carries in the game. He did play.

Anubis
Oct 9, 2003

It's hard to keep sand out of ears this big.
Fun Shoe

Fenrir posted:

I'm not going to get penalized for Starks, right? I mean, he did make actual carries in the game. He did play.

As long as he saw the field you're fine. Technically he doesn't even have to touch the football, which is why this is the only league that FBs have some actual value.

If you found a backup QB that was also the FG holder and could show that he actually got in the game... well, congrads on your football knowledge!

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



Did anyone happen to watch the Texans game today?

ESPN is saying Jaelan Strong didn't play.

I accept will accept my forfeit if needed.

Anubis
Oct 9, 2003

It's hard to keep sand out of ears this big.
Fun Shoe

OxySnake posted:

Did anyone happen to watch the Texans game today?

ESPN is saying Jaelan Strong didn't play.

I accept will accept my forfeit if needed.

Na, it's not a forfeit. We just find the worst player we can for the week (first from your bench and if that actually helps you we go looking at the waiver wire) and correct your score as needed.

kalensc
Sep 10, 2003

Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby
Man, I got it all wrong in terms of which of Pitt and Seattle would put up more points. Left thousands (or less bad negative thousands) on my bench. :v:

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy

Anubis posted:

As long as he saw the field you're fine. Technically he doesn't even have to touch the football, which is why this is the only league that FBs have some actual value.

If you found a backup QB that was also the FG holder and could show that he actually got in the game... well, congrads on your football knowledge!

Ahh, okay cool. I was worried because his score was literally zero (Starks had two carries for a total of no yards)

gardenald
Jul 23, 2007

In the end, it comes down to throwing one pitch after another, and seeing what happens. With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.

kalensc posted:

Man, I got it all wrong in terms of which of Pitt and Seattle would put up more points. Left thousands (or less bad negative thousands) on my bench. :v:

I hate when I leave 5000 points on my bench because I guessed wrong on D/ST

Marshmallow Blue
Apr 25, 2010

gardenald posted:

I hate when I leave 5000 points on my bench because I guessed wrong on D/ST

#CalvinBallProblems

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

uh oops I forgot to play a flex and didn't realize it until now. any way to fix that? e: disregard i'm dumb

Marshmallow Blue
Apr 25, 2010
New rule new rule!
Its about the journey, not the destination!

Offensive TDs are now 0 pts (def TDs are still -999).

Aredna
Mar 17, 2007
Nap Ghost

Marshmallow Blue posted:

New rule new rule!
Its about the journey, not the destination!

Offensive TDs are now 0 pts (def TDs are still -999).


New rule new rule!
We're taking the scenic route

Flying will cause us to miss all of the beautiful scenery along the way. As punishment you're going to lose one pie per yard taken through the air.

Passing and Receiving Yards are worth -3.14 points per yard.

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice

Aredna posted:

New rule new rule!
We're taking the scenic route

Flying will cause us to miss all of the beautiful scenery along the way. As punishment you're going to lose one pie per yard taken through the air.

Passing and Receiving Yards are worth -3.14 points per yard.

New Rule!
don't make me turn this car around!

Interceptions make dad really angry. ALL interceptions (including defense) are worth -16 points.

Fight Club Sandwich
Apr 29, 2006

you want a piece of me???
Week 1 Scores



Standings
1-0 Baldrash - Building Character
1-0 Fenrir - The Endzone is Lava
1-0 JPrime - The Noodle Incidents
1-0 Aredna - It's a Magical League, Hobbes
1-0 Marshmallow Blue - All QBs are Just Sacked
1-0 gardenald - "Y" as in "Y do we care?"
---
0-1 Anubis - A Nauseous Nocturne
0-1 Fight Club Sandwich - Snowgoon House of Horror
0-1 Old Dog Child - Kaepernick Caepadick
0-1 Yoshifan823 - Mark Sanchez Passes Go Boink
0-1 KalenSC - A Philistine on the Sidewalk
0-1 OxySnake - Hill and Bernard IRL

With the low score of 4114 for the week, Fight Club Sandwich has the Calvinball

Fight Club Sandwich
Apr 29, 2006

you want a piece of me???
NEW RULE! NEW RULE!
I've made a Huge Mistake


HC scoring is now 150/point instead of 500.

I HAVE THE CALVIN BALL
Later Bedtimes, Fewer baths!


Your starting lineup must include a player from a night game (Broncos @ Chiefs, Seahawks @ Packers, Jets @ Colts)

Reminder The commissioners are LAZY. It is the responsibility of each manager to police their opponents rosters and tattle if they are fielding illegal lineups (extra players/omitting a slot with negative points) or restricted players (0 snap players/Calvin Ball rule). Please also help us out if it appears we've missed a rule - there are a ton of rule changes each week and sometimes we miss things

Fight Club Sandwich fucked around with this message at 17:41 on Sep 15, 2015

gardenald
Jul 23, 2007

In the end, it comes down to throwing one pitch after another, and seeing what happens. With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.
New Rule! New Rule!
Golf Rules

Lowest score wins the matchup!

Yoshifan823
Feb 19, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
NEW RULE!!! NEW RULE!!!

You know what's a funny word? punt

Everyone starts two punters now.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy
NEW RULE!! NEW RULE!!

Kick it as hard as you can!

Punts are now worth 10 points per net yard.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

NEW RULE!! NEW RULE!!

Soccer is my favorite part of football!

All teams must start two kickers.

Anubis
Oct 9, 2003

It's hard to keep sand out of ears this big.
Fun Shoe

gardenald posted:

New Rule! New Rule!
Golf Rules

Lowest score wins the matchup!

Disallowed. We actually do allow this rule but since it's "special" (ie: not a espn rule change) we only accept it as the Calvinball. Feel free to tank this week to do it next week, though! Also, you get your rule back so go ahead and make a new one if you want.

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



New Rule! New Rule!

God Damnit Dilfer

The Ferrari is in the shop and the Prius ran out of gas.

No team may play a QB this week.


I just realized all the QB changes that went down.

Can I change my rule?

You can't win in this league with a QB!

Each passing attempt is worth -8 points.

Paint Crop Pro fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Sep 16, 2015

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gardenald
Jul 23, 2007

In the end, it comes down to throwing one pitch after another, and seeing what happens. With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.

Anubis posted:

Disallowed. We actually do allow this rule but since it's "special" (ie: not a espn rule change) we only accept it as the Calvinball. Feel free to tank this week to do it next week, though! Also, you get your rule back so go ahead and make a new one if you want.

Booooo (okay, okay, I understand)

New Rule! New Rule!
I hope QB-sempai notices me :swoon:

Recieving targets are worth 100 points each

gardenald fucked around with this message at 06:21 on Sep 16, 2015

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