Calvinball Season 3 - Still Making It Up As We Go Along

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Armchair Quarterback > Calvinball Season 3 - Still Making It Up As We Go Along

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

WHY IS M6 KICKER SO SPECIAL????

NEW RULE NEE TULR

CONPLETIONS ARE WORTH -359

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 04:38

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 06:10

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Flacco for McCown, I feel like I'm getting ripped off but I also don't understand what's going on

# ¿ Sep 11, 2015 02:40

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

uh oops I forgot to play a flex and didn't realize it until now. any way to fix that? e: disregard i'm dumb

# ¿ Sep 14, 2015 23:14

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

NEW RULE!! NEW RULE!!

Soccer is my favorite part of football!

All teams must start two kickers.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2015 22:15

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Anubis posted:

Here's your week 2 rosters:

QB
RB
RB
WR
WR
TE
FLEX
K
P
P
HC

And make sure you play someone from the Sunday night games so that your roster is valid for the Calvinball!

I think you skipped my post. I opened up the 2nd kicker spot. e: also just for clarification, fcs' Calvinball rule says MNF, TNF, or SNF games are valid

3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Sep 17, 2015

# ¿ Sep 17, 2015 04:34

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

peyton is looking like a solid play in this league

# ¿ Sep 18, 2015 02:40

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

I obviously said that when he was playing like poo poo

# ¿ Sep 18, 2015 18:28

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

NEW RULE! NEW RULE!

Catching is the best part of football

All receptions are worth 5 points

# ¿ Sep 23, 2015 03:33

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

New Rule! New Rule!

Hehehe, tight ends are butts!!

~~All teams must start two tight ends~~ Open the second TE slot

3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 23:00 on Sep 29, 2015

# ¿ Sep 29, 2015 22:46

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Oh, I want to open two TE slots. I'll clarify

# ¿ Sep 29, 2015 23:00

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

I sent you an even worse one

# ¿ Oct 2, 2015 20:12

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Hey I threw in Decker :argh:

e: ~~sent a new even more amazing one~~actually no I didn't but feel free to send a counter if you actually like any of my trash

3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Oct 2, 2015

# ¿ Oct 2, 2015 20:22

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

i actually sent a "fair" one

# ¿ Oct 2, 2015 20:43

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

New Rule! New Rule!

More catches for the Catch God

All receptions are worth 50 points.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 02:15

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

I forgot to check the thread and update my line up :eng99:

# ¿ Oct 11, 2015 23:31

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

omfg i hosed up my line up and i still can't get the calvinball??????

New RULE new rule!!!!!!!!

whoa is this what it's like to be drunk inf front of dad?

All touchdowns are worth *-0.50 scoring, to be applied after all rules are in play

# ¿ Oct 14, 2015 05:44

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

New Rule! New Rule!

Sharing is caring!

Interceptions are worth 1000 points.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2015 19:45

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

My team isn't good enough to win but not bad enough to get the Calvinball :eng99:

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 01:05

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

New Rule! New Rule!

QBs are ball hogs and ball hogs SUCK

All sacks are worth 500 points

# ¿ Oct 28, 2015 23:22

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Mariota is probably gonna miss again

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 05:04

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Fight Club Sandwich posted:

Since kalen's rule already altered QB scoring i've done this for DSTs

Oh awesome, thanks. That's actually what I meant!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 17:26

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Goddammit I need to start another QB but there's jack poo poo on the waiver. drat you Flacco :argh:

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 23:23

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

New Rule! New Rule!

Let's play catch!

Open another WR slot!

# ¿ Nov 4, 2015 04:09

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

New Rule! New Rule!

Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice!

Aredna posted:

In light of making rules more interesting, here's mine for the week. I'm more than happy to do all of the work around what it should be set to and will watch the thread to keep up.

New Rule! New Rule!
Math is fun! Uncertainty is better!

Q = PostID of the CalvinBall post rule, or the penultimate rule change of the week should there be no Calvinball Rule.

If the Calvinball Rule is the penultimate rule change of the week, then all final calculations below have their signs flipped!

X = 1 + finaldigit of Q
Y = 1 + penultimate digit of Q
Z = 1 + antepenultimate of Q
S = 1 if X is odd, -1 if X is even

Rushing Yards = Z ^ (Y/X) * S
Receiving Yards = Z ^ (X/Y) * -S
Passing Yards = Sqrt(abs(RuYd * RcvYd)) * S

The solutions to "Rushing Yards", "Receiving Yards", and "Passing Yards" each must equal 1

3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Nov 10, 2015

# ¿ Nov 10, 2015 22:55

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

gently caress math :911:

# ¿ Nov 10, 2015 22:57

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Aredna posted:

Gonna let the commishes weigh in, but pretty sure you can't changed anyone else's rules

Although there are many situations where the numbers are going to work out to be only 1 and -1!

For the sake of not being a dick, I'll change my rule.

New Rule! New Rule!

End zones are evil!

All touchdowns are worth -666.

P.S.

I am no longer the Kaepadicks...Fear the FLACCO BEARS!!!

# ¿ Nov 11, 2015 09:59

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

~~fcs, did you update the scoring?~~

Nm can't read

# ¿ Nov 13, 2015 01:52

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

New Rule! New Rule!

The square root of a yard is a football!

All completions, rushing attempts, and receptions are worth the square root of the next post ID # divided by 999, rounded to the nearest whole number.

The sign of the final results are determined by odds (-) or evens (+) for
-completions: third to last number of post ID
-receptions: 2nd to last number of post ID
-rushing attempts: last number of post ID

(I'll calculate it after the next guy posts)

edit: I didn't notice the rule above that makes yardage worth 30/yard so I tweaked my rule a little bit.

3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Nov 19, 2015

# ¿ Nov 19, 2015 01:46

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

old dog child posted:

New Rule! New Rule!

The square root of a yard is a football!

All completions, rushing attempts, and receptions are worth the square root of the next post ID # divided by 999, rounded to the nearest whole number.

The sign of the final results are determined by odds (-) or evens (+) for
-completions: third to last number of post ID
-receptions: 2nd to last number of post ID
-rushing attempts: last number of post ID

(I'll calculate it after the next guy posts)

edit: I didn't notice the rule above that makes yardage worth 30/yard so I tweaked my rule a little bit.

the magic #: 452893492

results
-completions: +21
-receptions: -21
-rushing attempts: +21

e:

Marshmallow Blue posted:

NEW RULE!!!!
Oh poo poo I forgot to make a rule
All Scoring changes must be divisible by 3

totally a fluke that it worked out this way, haha

# ¿ Nov 19, 2015 02:36

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

New Rule! New Rule!

Kill, Kill, Kill!

All QB sacks are worth -250

# ¿ Nov 24, 2015 22:38

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

I HAVE THE CALVINBALL!
CITY NAME, SPORTS TEAM

Any player on a team that does not contain a city name cannot be played!

Minnesota Vikings
Tennessee Titans
Carolina Panthers
New England Patriots
Arizona Cardinals

are banned because your names are dumb

However, one player from one of those teams may be designated as SAFE and will be startable. Only 1 player out of all 5 teams!!!!!

I hope this rule is okay, I added the 1 player thing to allow some wiggle room

e:

New Rule! New Rule!
Put me in, Coach. Sure thing, Coach.

Start 1 HC

# ¿ Dec 3, 2015 05:14

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Fuuuck I got loopholed so hard

# ¿ Dec 3, 2015 18:01

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Calvinball...the most dangerous game

# ¿ Dec 3, 2015 19:26

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

I shouldn't get the Calvinball. I got drunk and stayed up past curfew so I forgot to ~~do my chores~~ set my line up.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2015 01:34

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

The person who posts after me gets my Calvinball. Please claim it before it's too late!

New Rule! New Rule!

It's about time.

HC Points Scored set to 100

# ¿ Dec 9, 2015 07:58

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Aredna posted:

I propose for the last week - my opponent and myself each send in a secret rule to the commish to be revealed after kickoff of the last game.

To keep things interesting - it would be only scoring rules changed. We can send it a list of top 3 or 5 rule changes we want in order. If anyone publicly changes a rule or if we change the same rule it goes to the next on the list. If we run out of the list - we don't get a rule changed!

I guess we need a commish and whoever I end up playing (haven't looked at final scores yet)

Great idea!

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 07:07

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 06:10

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

I'm going to have to back out this year. I had a lot of fun but I have a new job that's keeping me really busy. I'm trying to cut down my leagues so that I have 4.

P.S. If you've been thinking about trying it out, DO IT. It's super fun and is a great change of pace from normal leagues. You don't know joy until you're rooting for your quarterback to get you a few hundred less negative points.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 02:42

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Armchair Quarterback > Calvinball Season 3 - Still Making It Up As We Go Along