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Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
EDIT: voting for the Imperial Guard

Onmi fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Aug 15, 2015

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Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.


We should point out that the Blood Ravens, the current chapter of Space Marines that are an option are famous for being bloody magpies and looting the poo poo out of everything, including other space marines.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Veloxyll posted:

Counterpoint - while Imperial Guard and Tau may both have amazing tanks. The Eldar Fire Prism (and D-Cannon turret) were never underpowered ever during the whole series.

That said: Orkz Orkz Orkz

Yeah well it was called "Dawn of Eldar" for a number of derogatory reasons.

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Dawn_of_Eldar

All of them lovingly detailed here. gently caress the Eldar.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
Actually I'm changing my vote to the Imperial Guard and updating my original post.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-9XSiNfgk0

gently caress yo Tau.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
Curious Blind Sally, do you intend to show off any mods? If not, I wouldn't mind at the end doing a video covering the Tyranid mod and the Ultimate Apocalypse mod. Even by using the Com vs Com mod to set up battles.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

The Vosgian Beast posted:

The Chaos builder unit is my favorite, because it sounds like Peter Lorre's bratty teenage son being whipped.

that's Richard Ian Cox

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Lord_Magmar posted:

There is actually, the reason the Nightbringer looks the way it does is because, upon it's birth it sent a mental image throughout the galaxy that made all beings associate it's form with death so he looks like the Grim Reaper, it's literally based on him and it's basically what he is on a galactic scale.

He's also the first one to eat the other C'tan, which is one of those bits of lore that are really great because it means the Necron gods basically decided the other gods were more tasty than mortals and started eating the others until there were 4 left, The Nightbringer, The Deciever, The Void Dragon and The Outsider. New lore says that whilst they did do the eating each-other thing the big reason a bunch of them are gone is because the Necrons themselves slaughtered their own lovely gods. This game though uses old lore not new lore so remember that. I'd get further into all of this stuff if we were playing this from the Necron pov but we aren't so I won't unless anyone has a dire need to know how absurd the Necrons are in both old and new lore and why they basically own the galaxy if they pick up steam.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyeoBm5QFnA&t=511s

Story time with the emperor people!

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Iretep posted:

If I remember right it was hinted that the etherals were created by the Eldar. Knowing Eldar some craftworld probably had a vision of something or other and it only happened if they made the Tau what they are now. In a few thousand years the Tau will probably die in the billions to save one Eldar life somewhere.



It was probably Eldrad that mother loving dick.

quote:


Where did Eldrad’s reputation for being such a dick come from?

He gives candy to young races.

And that candy will contain a slow-spreading gingivitis virus that will fester in the new race and slowly spread amongst their entire species. The gum pain will be considered a normal part of everyday life, and they will regularly take painkillers.

When the ’Nids invade them in 3000 years, they too will be infected by the gingivitis disease – but they are mindless beasts, who know not of painkillers. Surviving in constant pain, only made worse by eating, this entire massive hive of ’Nids will simply become extinct, a result of their own adaptation abilities.

And of course, Eldrad’s craftworld would have been the next one in line from that particular hive. Just. As. Planned.

And that is why Eldrad is a dick.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
The dumbest loving thing I've learned about 40k was the new Comissar law introducing that A. They're all heavily drugged up and brain washed and B. They graduate by being tasked to murder their best friends.

Because these make sense for the morale officer of the Imperium, and it's always great that a school system wastes so much time training people only to kill half of them.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

CommissarMega posted:

To be fair to GW, the second bit is based on apocryphal tales of the Nazis doing something similar.
To be fair to the loving Nazis, they were said to have only used beloved dogs instead of friends.

And yeah, that first bit is straight up retarded. Real life has enough examples of people going to extremes thanks to indoctrination alone. I can understand the drugs if it's meant to harden the cadets to the gribblies they have to face, but IIRC it's explicitly mentioned that the drugs are there to reinforce their loyalty. Thing is, if a cadet needed drugs to have their loyalty reinforced in the first place they'd have become stormtroopers instead.

As someone posted elsewhere

quote:

Thankfully, Dan Abnett already explains the new Schola lore in Eisenhorn/Ravenor/etc.

Those aren't real Schola. They're the "Blighted Schola," a project by Chaos fanatics to create servants with the same skills as the Imperium's greatest soldiers (Stormtroopers, Cummissars, Arbites, Sisters, etc.) but devoted to Chaos. They're sleeper agents that are supposed to infiltrate Imperial organizations and slowly build up networks of tainted followers while doing as much as they can to sabotage and weaken these organizations from within.

It's the only logical explanation.


Cythereal posted:

This is 40k. There probably is at least one Schola that requires commissar cadets to do that, and at least one that does not. Ciaphas Cain and Ibram Gaunt are nothing like that.

Yes that would be common sense talking, unfortunately this is GW, so they don't care what they're making GBS threads on to make their new derp work.

Ask the Necrons, and the Space Marines

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
Now mind you, that doesn't mean that sometimes the lore doesn't have the imperium do really dumb poo poo for no reason. But most of that is on the hat of the Inquisition. Who are a necessary function for the Imperium, but also responsible for many of its problems.

But as of the current lore and charts they're perfectly willing to align with the Tau and if push comes to shove the Eldar. Really if the three banded together with no in-fighting they could run pretty roughshod across the galaxy. But this isn't a setting that really allows for that (Mostly because the timelines never going to go past 41,999M)

Going back to the Art of War comparison someone made? Well, Puretide (the guy who basically wrote the book on how to fight the Tau) has an Sun Tzu quote directly attributed to him, so yeah, pretty much.

The thing is, most factions tend to have a 'Win Con' where they can truly turn it around. For the Imps it's The Emperor returning to life or a Primarch returning. Either of these things would be of huge benefit. Really though, they NEED Big E.

For Chaos it's taking Cadia, that will kickstart a true Black Crusade. The Orks just want a Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!, and they've got the biggest Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!! ever in the brew. Tyranids just want to eat everything, etc.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Night10194 posted:

The main people who will tell you this, of course, are Inquisitors. Right before they gently caress everything up again with their bullshit.

Clarification: The Inquisition in its INITIAL conception under Malcador the Sigillite was a necessary evil of the Imperium. The fact that said inquisitors have gone and hosed it all to high heaven is an unfortunate side effect of Inquisitors all being loving lunatics with too much power and not a single person with enough power and common loving sense to kick their asses into line.

Just ask the Sensei, the Emperors human descendants. You would think they would be hailed by the Imperium and treated like demi-gods.Instead the Inquisition brands them mutants and slaughters them all. You see, an Inquisitor is never wrong. Everyone is a heretic before the inquisitor is wrong. Ask the Celestial Lions. And when it comes time for the Inquisiton to actually DO THEIR loving JOB?! well then you get the Abyssal Crusade.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

RickVoid posted:

It is important to note that the book series the bolded bit comes from is the Inquisition War, the first book of which is prefaced with some scribe telling his boss, essentially, "We have no loving clue where this account came from, or if this Inquisitor ever existed, or if any of the things in this story ever actually happened, but on the off chance they did we need to lock this poo poo away and no one is allowed to read it ever".

Indeed. The other big conflict off hand (Mostly from Text-to-speech) is the Inquisition torturing and killing a prophet of the Emperor after he lead his corrupted planet to peace and overthrew the chaos corruption there. The Ecclesiarchy came down to check what was corrupted and what wasn't and the Inquisition hauls off the Prophet and kills him before the Ecclesiarchy can determine if he was even corrupted. Later the taint of chaos was found on some of his followers, so the Inquisition felt smug about it, but there was never any proof the Prophet himself was corrupt.

And again, the Celestial Lions story. The Lions are a space marine chapter who go in to take out a corrupt planetary leader, the Inquisition decides "Well if the leader was corrupt, then the entire planet must be, time to glass the bitch." despite the Lions protests. Outraged, they send a message to the High Lords of Terra. The ship they sent as messengers are murdered. This does not deter them. So the Inquisition has them sent against an Ork war band, outnumbered, outgunned and with terrible positions, and then each of their apothecaries (These are the guys who recover the Gene-seed because that shits important and not able to be created easily) are taken out by 'Ork Snipers' including the last one, who was shot at close range. With a Laspistol. In the Head.

The remaining 95 Lions contact the Black Templars Chaplain Grimaldus (who is an entire character in his own right) to administer their Last Rites. He tells them that if they kill the Ork War Boss, then they'll have restored their honor and be allowed to leave. They succeed with more casualties and the Templars send out a detachment of their own marines to help the Lions pick themselves back up.

The Celestial Lions are a lesson for what happens if you question the Inquisition. In time, the Inquisition will learn what happens when you gently caress with a Space Marine. Especially since the Black Templars are Absolutely Pissed. And that's not even considering the Inquisitions managed to piss off the Space Wolves.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Lord_Magmar posted:

Seeing as we're talking about the inquisition I might as well talk about their organisation. The big thing about inquisitors is that for all intents and purposes they are SPECTREs from Mass Effect with even more power and less moderation. There are 3 main types each with their own rules and weirdness; the ordo xenos, the ordo hereticus, and the ordo malleus. These are the ordo majoris but there are also a bunch of ordo minoris that grow and shrink as necessary. So most of the really batshit problems with the Inquisition is they have no internal mechanism for dealing with traitorous members of their organisation other than sending a different inquisitor at them.

So the greatest power of any single inquisitor, who are allowed to basically dick around the galaxy doing their own thing as long as they do any mission their superiors tell them to, is to call in an exterminatus. However whilst a single inquisitor can call in the exterminatus they then need 2 others to agree for the order to be carried out. Importantly this means a single inquisitor on your planet is not that big a problem and is best solved by actually working with him so he can do his job and leave, now if you have 3 on your planet you're right hosed and should probably leave as soon as possible. This also brings up the difference between young and old inquisitors, which is that inquisitors get older they become more radical as they realise doing everything by the book is a very good way to get very dead very fast.
'
Now the inquisition is only one branch of a much larger organisation called the Adeptus Ministorum or Ecclesiarchy and their primary goal is to be a sort of secret police for the imperium. Here's the real kicker, by law the Ecclesiarchy cannot have men under arms because a long time ago the head of the Ecclesiarcy, think a pope who's god actually exists and can be called on for real miracles, had a large enough army that he took over holy terra. This means that not only are the inquisition ever so slightly illegal, but also gives the reason for the Sisters of Battle existing in the first place, namely they aren't men under arms but women under arms. The Sisters of Battle aren't in this game but a fairly good representation of what they are is nuns with guns and a serious love for all things napalm, basically female space marines with less redundant organs but even more fanatical devotion to the God Emperor of Mankind.

This also leaves out the greatest Space Marines of all time, the Grey Knights, who are actually in this game as a special unit for the Space Marines faction. Who used to be cool and then Matt loving Ward got hold of them and they became awful in both fluff and crunch, but that's a tale best saved for a different post.

The Inquisition is not apart of the Ecclesiarchy. They are considered the Officio Inquisitorus, and even have a minor Ordo Sanctorum that is focused on policing the Ecclesiarchy.

Ze Pollack posted:

A side note for any wondering about the difference between new necron fluff and old necron fluff, here's the basics.

Old fluff: the Necrons are slaves of the C'Tan star-gods, who will one day wipe out all life to serve their masters' terrible hunger.

New fluff: ...or they were, until the Necrons figured out a way to fight back, shattered their gods, and used the broken fragments as colossal living metal war-Pokemon. The Triarch and its Praetorians would like to stress that ALL THE C'TAN GOT BROKEN. Anyone suggesting that courtesy of infighting among the Dynasties, Nemesors who weren't careful enough about deploying their C'tan shards to combat zones where other shards might be deployed, Crypteks who thought 'nah, really, I got this,' technical failures in their stasis-prisons, and/or failures of the Triarch's vigilance there might still be entire worlds of Necrons enslaved to the omnicidal will of the C'Tan will be quickly and summarily executed.

The fact you will be dissected and interrogated down to the last synapse beforehand regarding what you saw and where you saw it should not be considered in any way to suggest that the Triarch is aware they missed a couple, and are utterly loving terrified of the potential consequences.

It should be mentioned the Necrons are the ones that created the C'Tan, by taking harmless energy creatures who ate radiation and shoving them into giant robot bodies consisting of living metal because "What? Wasn't that the first thing you would do if you found harmless energy creatures?"

Onmi fucked around with this message at 02:02 on Aug 18, 2015

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Lord_Magmar posted:

Thanks for pointing out my error, I will cut out that part of the original post. On the point of C'Tan I won't go too far into it but the harmless energy creature was the reason the Necrons lived for 30 years at best and was kind of constantly making GBS threads radiation on their planet. This creature became the Nightbringer by the way so yeah, not so much harmless as mindless.

I thought the radiation that was killing them came from their sun, which the C'Tan found tasty because they eat Radiation.

quote:

The first C'tan was found "sucking" the energies of the Necrontyr planet's sun, the same sun that gave off enough hard radiation to make proto-Necrontyr life short, nasty, short, brutish, and short.

The Necrontyr formed a necrodermis body and coaxed the star-sucker to inhabit it. This C'tan was later named The Nightbringer. When the Nightbringer awoke in the new body, it noticed the Necrontyr for the first time and discovered they were like Chinese take-out: really yummy and spicy, more so than bland stars, but you could eat a few thousand and still feel hungry an hour later. It took a while and much slaughter before the Necrontyr could convince the Nightbringer that they were more useful in servitude, and there were other yummy lifeforces to be eaten out there.

Yup. They just ate the stars radiation because that's how they evolved. The Necron's had already decided they wanted to kill ALL life because their own was so poo poo, and decided to harness the C'Tan for that purpose. Which lead to some pretty awesome poo poo.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Lord_Magmar posted:

This is sort of true, the C'Tan ate energy and stars were the easiest source to ancient gas beings, there's a lot of conflicting sources on how the Necrontyr met the C'Tan, but it occurs after the first war in heaven against the Old Ones who wouldn't share their immortality with the Necrontyr who were obsessed with their own death and mortality to the point that they considered life to merely be a prelude to death. Old Necron lore suggests that their star was being eaten by a C'Tan and that was loving with it's radiation, new lore hasn't got much to say about that but does say the C'Tan contacted them first and used the Necrons to get them access to a tastier source of energy, living people. What has always been true is that the first C'Tan to be manifested in a solid form was the Nightbringer and that's when he did the aforementioned horrify all of life down to single cell organisms.

Basically the Necrontyr are depressed jerks, the Old Ones are smug jerks and the C'Tan are hungry jerks, so the universe of Warhammer 40k was boned from the beginning as these were the first 3 sentient beings; C'Tan then Old Ones then Necrontyr, and none of them are the sort of civilisation to help younger ones out of choice but are far more likely to do so out of necessity or spite.

the funny thing is the Old Ones DID gently caress with a lot of other species They were incredibly potent psykers (especially since the Warp was calm back in those days), had access to the Webway (and may have built or discovered and expanded it), and had supremely advanced genetic engineering techniques. They created the Eldar, Krork (likely the ancestors of modern Orks), the earliest ape ancestors of humans, Jokaero, the Hrud, the Rashan, the K'nib, and many others; some of these were created solely as warrior-races, whereas many (like the human predecessors) were created merely as part of planetary ecosystems, or maybe just for shits and giggles. They were also immortal, a gift they seem to have given in some form to some of their creations.

The Necrontyr's main beef with the Old Ones was, well other than hating all life and sucking poo poo at the whole "Kill all life" plan they had going, was the Old Ones hadn't given THEM any Immortality. Of course this all wound up going badly for the Old Ones, as when the Necrons hosed off, the Orks started beating them up due to having nothing left to fight due to the Eldar going "gently caress THIS!" and getting the hell out of dodge. They also decided "gently caress This" literally and repopulated the entire galaxy by breeding like depraved horny rabbits.

Then due to all the war, the realm of souls was utterly skull hosed and lead to the creation of the Warp, though still not completely hosed up (that would happen when the Eldar engaged in one too many orgies and literally hosed a God into existence while simultaneously loving a hole in reality.) This caused the Demons to appear, who ALSO started beating the poo poo out of the Old Ones. As TEHATTS said

quote:

" It's like some complete asswipes suddenly invaded an old folk's home, demolished all of their belongings, and subjected all old people to summary executions. And then another completely unrelated group came along and did the exact same thing all over again."

Also just for everyone wondering, this current 10,000 year war going on that forms this setting? this is a minor spat compared to the Necron/Old One/Eldar/Ork MESS that hosed up the realm of soul. This is barely a blip on the universes radar for "poo poo that has ruined everything."

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Iretep posted:

Nids are probably finding the they hate this poo poo universe and they want to leave ever since one of the tendrils got stuck in an area of space thats mostly infested Orks. While the Orks don't really like fighting Nids since they dont produce much loot when killed, it's still better than fighting each other. Orks love a good fight so the longer the Nids and Orks fight the more and more Orks start coming in and the ones already there will just keep growing and growing.

Who was the inquisitor who had that idea. Because it's the best idea he ever had. "Wait a minute... fighting the Tyranids is stupid, they'll just be endlessly killing us all... and the Orks... well I mean you can't really get rid of them, and they're just looking for war... Oh. Oh I just had a loving marvelous idea."

It's just the best because "You haven't solved anything, they're just locked in perpetual loving war." "Great! It's like everything else in this loving galaxy."

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

dasmause posted:

Beats loving Imperium, which is literally the only other option
Then again I'm not the lore master, but I'm struggling to imagine why joining Tau is bad

They cut off your balls

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

RickVoid posted:

Here's your options:

The Imperium of Man: The worst most oppressive regime in Human history. You are one among untold billions. From the moment you are born until your long vacant servitor converted body fails you exist to serve. As labor. On the firing line. In bed. As spare parts. As food. (Corpse-starch rations, look it up.) Do your duty, and the Emperor will guard your soul. Fail, and you risk the souls of everyone around you.

To be quite frank, if you are a completely normal person in the Imperium, you can lead a completely normal life running a grocery store, and if you're lucky you'll never be killed by Orks, Chaos, etc.

The thing is, it's not really untold billions so much as untold trillions. The scale of the imperium is legitimately very hard to comprehend, so even while it looks like you're a worker for life, born into a life of servitude to the war machine, there are more humans than the billions we see giving their lives for the cause.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Heaven Spacey posted:

Basically, the further towards the Eye of Terror or the outer rims of the galaxy you get, the more likely There Is Only War and you're going to die at the age of 15 in some futile meatgrinder after you got conscripted early because the planetary government had to meet the Guard's tithe quota. The closer to Terra you get the more it's basically just regular life except everyone's really, really, religious and thinks cars work because a robot ghost makes their parts clank to life when you appease it with The Holy Ritual of Ignition.

It's half the problem really, a lot of worlds get complacent and only have its PDF to defend itself, and the PDF are bigger redshirts than the Imperial Guard. So for most worlds they're just casually going about daily life and the Orks or Tyranids or Chaos shows up. The thing, of course, is that it's not interesting to write about a farmer on some agriculture world where nothing happens.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.


Creed is the best 40k meme and I will hear no other lies.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Iretep posted:

Warhammer already has a race of technologically advanced midgets. They are called the Tau.

I know you're obviously kidding but the Squats came before the Tau

Onmi fucked around with this message at 16:05 on Aug 19, 2015

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Lord_Magmar posted:

None of the Tau technology is from Eldar Meddling, at best their current survival and the Ethereals are Eldar meddling, all the technology is self developed and an example of what a species that actually cared about developing new technology can get done.

And when you have 6000 years of not being bugged by anyone TO develop that technology

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

GhostStalker posted:

Still, Eldrad happens to be a pretty huge dick, at least by /tg/ fanon standards. There's an entire series of stories about him being a huge dick to an Eldar subordinate that are pretty funny. He's also Taldeer's father in /tg/ fanon, which is connected to the whole Love Can Bloom writefaggotry.

Can't speak for him in canon, though didn't he get eaten by a Chaos trap set by Failbaddon in a Blackstone Fortress during the 13th Black Crusade or something like that?

GW is rolling the fluff back from the 13th black crusade it seems. And if Age of Sigmar is any example, they really shouldn't progress the storyline.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
So what do you have to say for all the Fire Warriors and Ethereals who go missing for no explained reason if they aren't up to snuff?

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Fire Warrior initiates who don't make the grade mysteriously go missing and are never heard from again.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Blind Sally posted:

You're gonna have to elaborate. My knowledge of Warhammer 40k is Dawn of War and its expansions and this thread. What happens to those poor Fire Warriors and Ethereals!!??

Well the lore itself is very much "Never seen again" which is in the sense of "Why is there a building they take people into and then nothing comes out?"

They kill any Fire Warrior trainee that doesn't make the cut or any Ethereal who breaks the group think.

Onmi fucked around with this message at 10:14 on Aug 20, 2015

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
The funny thing is the Tyranids would not be a problem if the Tau and Imperium worked together. Because if there's one thing the Tau CAN Wreck, it's the Hive Fleet before they've landed.

quote:

Hive Fleet Gorgon was a Tyranid Hive Fleet which invaded the Tau Empire in 899.M41. The Gorgon was a splinter fleet of Hive Fleet Behemoth that had been founded by those Tyranids who had survived the Behemoth's destruction during the Battle of Macragge and which began consuming poorly defended Imperial worlds to replenish its small numbers. By the time this splinter fleet made its way into Tau space in the Eastern Fringe of the galaxy, it had grown to become a full Hive Fleet in its own right. Hive Fleet Gorgon was relatively small in size compared to the other Hive Fleets that assaulted the galaxy, but it was characterised by an extremely rapid rate of adaption to new weapons and tactics that was astounding even for a species renowned for its ability to direct its own evolution to meet new challenges. In response to the pulse weaponry and long-ranged tactics of the Tau, the Gorgon's primary strategy was the utilisation of smaller and faster-breeding Tyranid organisms to accelerate its evolutionary process. As a consequence of this strategy, the larger Tyranid biomorphs were few in number within the swarms of the Gorgon. Hive Fleet Gorgon was finally destroyed in 903.M41 at the Battle of Worldspine Ridge on Kel'shan by the combined forces of the Tau Fire Caste and the Imperial Guard.

In short, the Tau force the Tyranids to evolve into weak, small and numerous forms which the Imperial Guard has the sheer loving numbers to overrun. The Tyranids aren't impossible to fight, but it would require the Imperium and Tau to work together and not attempt to backstab one another. Which I think as of the latest lore, they actually are?

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

HerraS posted:

To be honest the Imperium has the 'sheer loving numbers' to overrun every other faction in the galaxy ten times over but unfortunately they don't have things like instantaneous, 100% reliable long-range communication or super reliable and safe and efficient FTL travel which would be necessary to actually get those numbers to mean something.

Also they're fighting everywhere. Literally Everywhere. Look at the Galactic map. Somewhere the Imperium is fighting SOMEONE. Tyranids, Orks, Tau, Eldar, Chaos? You name it, Imperium is fighting it.

This was not loving helped by Robot Girlyman deciding that the best way to prevent another Horus Heresy was dividing everything up so if something went rogue then it wouldn't take half the loving army with it. Which was okay in theory, but in practice, it makes the Imperiums warmachine insanely inefficient, and left to their own devices, there's no one to notice that a Space Marine Chapter has gone and done its own loving Badab War

quote:

The Badab War was a major rebellion in the Imperium's history, lead by Lugft Huron and the Astral Claws. He first conquered the Badab Sector and decided he should rule all of it, like the Ultramarines ruling Ultramar. Then Imperial forces demanded the tithes. He refused. And three other chapters were honour-bound to fight with him. And thus began the most bloody rebellion in the 41st Millennium. And also the most famous appearances of a shitton of minor chapters that most people haven't heard of, who will probably never appear outside a few novel cameos and the Imperial Armour books. Pretty unique among wars in that it almost all fights were between Space Marines, with little Guardsmen (traitor or otherwise) in sight.

This wound up spawning the Red Corsairs. Also it's another example of the Lamenters getting loving ruined.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
I just decided to circumvent all your poo poo and just play Chapter Master



My sector is going to hell because of the threat of Chaos, the Tyranids and the Orks... and the fact that the game is buggy and vanishing my battle barges. Can't wait to get out of alpha

Onmi fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Aug 22, 2015

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Dr. Snark posted:

Ayup. It's been a running joke on 1d4chan that it would never be made ever even though the idea is totally awesome. But it's out now (and will probably never be out of alpha, but who really cares?).

Duke has been working on it but right now he's stripping out all the 40k parts of it because some Blackshirt (A GW store employee I think) wound up bringing it up to the head office. Who of course have decided to get their legal team in on this poo poo.

And this is why if you're doing a fan thing you don't do anything until it's done usually.

But he did post very recently talking about it, so it's still being worked on.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

HerpicleOmnicron5 posted:

Same here. The chapter creation is far more detailed than I thought it would be. This will take months out of my life.

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Chapter_Master_%28game%29

You can read about its humble origins there, essentially /tg/ pretending the game existed, as they always do, and then eventually poo poo got done.

Always bet on Duke

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
So going back to the Exterminatus. It's not that the Imperium couldn't just say, blow up the entire loving galaxy and starve the tyranids, turn it all into one giant husk sans Terra. But the entire idea is to survive without consigning the whole of the galaxy to death. That's forgotten slightly I think when you bring up how horrible the Imperium can be. The end goal is still to populate the galaxy and expand and evolve further. You can think of the God Emperor less as a literal deity and more "What Mankind can achieve over a few billion years. Human Evolution is laid out pretty decently actually it goes Human, Space Marine, Custodes, Primarch, Emperor. The Emperor himself is more of an evolutionary 'cheat' than anything special. Much like how his creation of the primarchs and Custodes was him cheating

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
So I decided to run the CANON Dark Crusade campaign in which Davian Cool hosed up Kronus to discover Kyras's porn stash or evidence that the Blood Ravens are descended from Loyalist Thousand Suns. With a minor change in that I'm using the Titanium War mod.

Regardless. The Space Port. Vs the loving Tau that took about 2 hours. Not even my Warhound titans could properly handle the loving cannon power their. I probably lost like 12+ of the bloody things and a couple of companies worth of Terminators and Veterans before I finally got the last Servitor... only to find that they hadn't found one of the Servitors, who was deep in their territory, This was almost as bad as then using that to grab the Fury point, with that one loving stealth team of Chaos.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Arashiofordo3 posted:

Do you know what Dawn of War you need for it to work? Soulstorm? Dark Crusade? Because that poo poo looks amazing. It be awesome if you could run a campaign with it.

Soulstorm, I play it, It's fun.

EDIT: Keep in mind these mods fix a lot of the balance issues and bugs to.

Onmi fucked around with this message at 13:05 on Aug 23, 2015

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Eimi posted:

Sisters commander better be bloody female. Preferably a cannoness. :colbert: I am so sick of how most named commanders for the Sisters are male. You only have every other army in the game for that!

See you say that, but as of the latest codex, It's only half.

Because the Sisters only have two commanders.

Saint Celestine and Uriah Jacobus.

This wasn't meant as an actual defense by the way, I just wanted to detail how much GW seems to loving hate the Sisters of battle. Because you WERE correct, the majority of their commanders were Inquisitors and the like, but they've been given to the Grey Knights. I had an entire section written up about how even /tg/ treats the sisters better, but it just made me mad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHuNbWMBAeA

So take that



Also this

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Valiantman posted:

I never encountered Warhammer (40k or otherwise) until I bought WH Online when it was published. I loved the first 20 levels and played through them with at least 4 characters, so that I saw all the starter zones, until the free month was over. I didn't feel like subscribing due to the game becoming a horrible directionless slogfest at that point. Reading this LP revived my interest in the story, however. I understand there are no Warhammer video game RPGs but do any of the games that exist focus on the lore of the setting(s)? And if they do, are they worth playing?

Not really. GW is so loving behind the times they see Video Games as a fleeting pass time and even though they're constantly hiking the price they treat their war games like they're still in a golden age. They completely abandoned a social media presence because "Eh, not important." They're backwards as gently caress and there's a lot of fear for the Warhammer 40k brand.

Especially since loving Age of Sigmar hit. If anyone needed proof that GW completely lost it. That was it.

Honestly if you are interested in the lore I'd suggest reading some books. I personally am a big fan of the Ciaphas Cain books if only because even the premise of "A commissar who is a massive coward trying to weasle his way through the 40K universe but keeps accidentally making himself a bigger hero and without knowing it becomes an actual hero" is really neat and handled really well.

Then there's the Horus Heresy stuff which is... hit and miss. And if you value your sanity do NOT read anything by C.S. Goto

quote:

"They all looked down at the tiny form of the alien creature, broken, bleeding, and shattered by the agonies of the warp and the hostility of the Ravenous Spirit." (...) "Between them they were carrying a large, heavy throne, in which was slumped the broken and contorted figure of the eldar seer." (...) "Gabriel hastened over to the broken form of Taldeer, who was lying in a frozen pool of her own blood. Her eye cavities trickled with tissue and her abdomen was a shredded mess of flesh and shrapnel."(...) "His eyes were fixed on the inferno that was gathering in the downed Thunderhawk, enshrouding the dying eldar seer in a thick death-mask of smoke and toxins."
-Dawn of War: Tempest, pages 89-100. WHAT THE gently caress, Goto

Never.

EDIT: For the record, There are three authors considered to be a holy trinity of "Good" writers, Dan Abnett, Graham McNeil and Sandy Mitchell. Dan is there because he's just a very good writer, though some find his Horus Heresy fluff... a bit weird. The Perpetual stuff is really weird at times. McNeil writes more about the background fluff and is very lore/narrative heavy, but he is also a master of "Tell, don't show" Really the character stuff is more his engine to show off the world. Mitchell is there because he's fun. And drat it, it's nice to be reminded that FUN exists, and not everything has to be so bloody grim all the time. He helps portray the imperium as a place you might not WANT to live (over regular life) but where regular life exists. And not in the marysuetopia kind of way.

So stick with those three writers and you're pretty much set for decentish to good books.

Onmi fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Aug 23, 2015

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
It should be mentioned that Farsight has completely channeled his Mifune and not only does he use a sword that steals the life of all he kills to elong his own. He's formed his own band of 7 8 Samurai because gently caress you he's 1 better.



The Eight. From left to right: Torchstar, Ob'lotai, Bravestorm, Farsight himself, O'Vesa, Sha'Vastos, Brightsword, Arra'kon

In fact the way they arrived was amazing to

quote:

The Tau Empire, having lost contact with the Farsight Enclaves, believed Farsight himself to be long dead and the Enclaves lost. One day, though, a probe discovered that the Enclaves were still there and flourishing, and had changed their sept markings and become Ethereal-free. Learning this, the Tau Empire branded Farsight a traitor and renamed the Enclaves the "Forbidden Zone", smashing all his statues throughout the Empire and trying to wipe him from public memory. This didn't sit well with everyone, especially members of the Fire Caste, and contacts within the Empire soon began secretly supplying the Enclaves with new weapons and hardware.

Over a hundred years later, the Enclaves came under threat from a Tyranid splinter fleet. Unsure of what to do, the leadership of the Enclaves suddenly got a message from a museum where an aged Farsight had suddenly shown up out of nowhere to demand his old battlesuit be removed from its display case and returned to him. Donning his armor once again, the Commander took over the defense, and thanks to some smart Earth Caste bio-engineering, managed to hold off the Great Devourer long enough to poison the fleet. Meanwhile Shadowsun, Farsight's old rival, was awakened from her cryogenic stasis in the Empire and sent back to war, and Farsight assembled a new team of elite battlesuit pilots, The Eight, to defend the Enclaves and stand opposed to the mysterious power the Ethereals held over their brethren.

Onmi fucked around with this message at 05:50 on Aug 24, 2015

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Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Night10194 posted:

Isn't he basically Tau Char? Red suit and everything?

In that his battle suit is red and white. Basically though he learned about Chaos, learned that the Ethreals were pulling the Imperiums old "Lets just not tell anybody about it and hope it goes away." which pissed him off.

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