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cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


Cythereal posted:

Also, they tend to carry rabies. The proper response to a wild raccoon is a boot to the face if it won't take the hint to go away, especially if you have outdoors pets like chickens.

Yes, we understand you like animal abuse. Thank you once again. Also, I don't have chickens because I live in a downtown metropolis, but maybe next year.

VV: it's very weird that I paused Parks and Rec to watch more Parks and Rec.

cash crab has a new favorite as of 00:15 on Aug 23, 2015

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Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFEF8fPVk-o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foNxKbp9lOM

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
Dude fighting an infinite number of raccoons...


Raccoon with sweet ride



Raccoons in a major pigout

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


:colbert: I'm pretty pissed you didn't use the "pigout" caption for the second one.

Baldbeard
Mar 26, 2011

There are a bunch of raccoons around my neighborhood that roll around at night like some kind of drunk comedy troupe. I will hear the chainlink fence outside my bedroom window shaking violently and go out there to see like 6 extremely obese raccoons trying to clamber over into the next yard, falling several times each before making it over. They just go yard to yard knocking over trashcans and tearing open any kind of bag or container, occasionally taking breaks to just sit and recover from the energy expenditure. It just dawned on me recently with the influx of raccoon pictures in PYF that the ones here are hilariously huge.

This isn't my photo, but they all basically look like this.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology




Fat ones are the best.

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013



cash crab posted:



Fat ones are the best.

Did it just murder a bird?

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHQ7bt5LBj8
RACCOONS ARE ATTRACTED TO DOPE

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


Postal Parcel posted:

Cash crab's gooniest moment:


Took this from PYF AUG. I'd like to point out that I actually do live in Toronto. :buddy:

Internet Kraken
Apr 24, 2010

slightly amused
I never had to deal with racoons in my neighborhood. I think its because our woods were dominated by these incredibly nasty bobcats and they probably beat the poo poo out of any racoons they saw wandering around. I would of rather dealt with racoons to be honest though. Sure they might knock over your garbage but they won't wake you up at night with the most unholy screaching you've ever heard. Bobcat fights are nasty.

How come so many Russians (I think?) seem to keep racoons as pets?

13Pandora13
Nov 5, 2008

I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle




flosofl posted:

Did it just murder a bird?

How do you think it got so fat? It just ate a whole loving rooster.

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

I came home drunk one night and there was a huge fat raccoon blocking my front path. I took a step forward and he took a step forward. Then 3 others came out from beside the bushes. I turned around and walked around the block and came in the back door. I got bullied by some raccoons.

goose willis
Jun 14, 2015

Get ready for teh wacky laughz0r!

Kobogartimer
Mar 17, 2006




Raccoons can get distemper, which is one of the things most places require dogs to be vaccinated for. So if you see a friendly raccoon that appears to be both high as hell and suffering from epilepsy you should call animal control because that little bugger is doomed and can spread it to other raccoons and pets with irresponsible owners.

Hooks
Aug 26, 2007

He'll save children, but not the British children
Fun Shoe






Cugel the Clever
Apr 5, 2009
I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA
Am I doing this right?


I don't think I'm doing it right.

kafziel
Nov 11, 2009
pointy kitty is not a washbear

goose willis
Jun 14, 2015

Get ready for teh wacky laughz0r!

13Pandora13
Nov 5, 2008

I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle





"Whatever you are...you will be washed." :getin:

Horrible Smutbeast
Sep 2, 2011

Internet Kraken posted:

I never had to deal with racoons in my neighborhood. I think its because our woods were dominated by these incredibly nasty bobcats and they probably beat the poo poo out of any racoons they saw wandering around. I would of rather dealt with racoons to be honest though. Sure they might knock over your garbage but they won't wake you up at night with the most unholy screaching you've ever heard. Bobcat fights are nasty.

How come so many Russians (I think?) seem to keep racoons as pets?

You serious? Raccoons screaming is some of the worst sounds I've heard in my new apartment. I have a huge strip of grass under my big window that leads to the alleyway so I hear them loving and screaming down there every other night. And it's not like there's wolves attacking them, it's just raccoons going after other raccoons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFMPY1BWaFs

This is what they sound like. Fat fucks always hang out in the alley behind the building too, rummaging through the garbage. I work nights from home so when I leave to go get some drinks from the place next door there's always a bunch of screaming loving raccoons hanging around back there I have to chase away so I can walk to the store.

They're cute but they're little shits at night.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


kafziel posted:

pointy kitty is not a washbear

It's probably too early for a thread title, but,

vvvv: LET HIM SHOP

DorkusMalorkus
Aug 4, 2009

"That's not Latin!"

Police remove raccoon from business https://nypost.com/2014/09/21/raccoon-gives-cops-hell-in-beauty-shop-rescue/

Their little hands are both cute and a little creepy

Moon Potato
May 12, 2003

flosofl posted:

Did it just murder a bird?
They'll eat meat when they can. We have one that comes to the local wetlands to grab shrimp out of the mud.

littlebluellama
Jun 18, 2013

I am kind, brave and deserve love.

Mans posted:

i live in a country with no racoons so i really don't know much about them but they seem like the cutest things i've ever saw

are they like rats in that they lurk around urban areas and feed off garbage? are they domestic animals? are they always as big and fat as in those videos? are they aggressive?

they seem like a mixture between the scavenging habits of rats and the personality of a sloth

Some seem to be used to humans, but they can be very vicious. I used to volunteer at a children's museum with rescued wildlife (that couldn't survive outside for whatever reason) in exhibits. The raccoon was one of the only animals we couldn't take out his enclosure ourselves. I liked him, though.

One of the professional keepers would put him in a cat carrier in the hallway so we could clean out his exhibit, and one day, I kept hearing this weird shuffling noise coming from the hall behind me while I was cleaning. Every time I would look out, the noise stopped and I didn't see anything amiss, and the raccoon was still in his carrier, its latch was closed, etc. I was pretty sure it was him making the noise though.

The next time I heard it, I tried to sneak up to the enclosure's door so he wouldn't hear me and stop. Sure enough, it was him--rocking back and forth in the carrier so the whole thing was shimmying down the hallway. There were two sets of doors between him and the outside, and I'm not sure what he was going to do once he got out there, still inside a box.

Whenever I remember that, have this mental image of him scooting through the forest in his carrier, grabbing things through the little bars.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right







Snowglobe of Doom has a new favorite as of 11:59 on Aug 23, 2015

Mad Hamish
Jun 15, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



My landlord's partner has a beautiful house in Toronto on a street lined with huge ash trees, with a massive 150 year old oak tree in the yard. Sadly he fell on hard times several years ago, and the ceiling over the back kitchen started to fall apart. Eventually raccoons moved in and destroyed pretty much everything in the attic, which let to me being asked to help with repairs. This involved tearing down an ancient plaster and lath ceiling filled with mouldering oak leaves and several years' worth of raccoon poo poo. I was pulling black gunk out of my nose for weeks. gently caress raccoons.

They may be cute and all, but when you hear them running up and down the space in the walls on either side of the chimney while you're trying to sleep you will discover that raccoons are the devil's creature and cheer every time you see a dead one on the side of the road. I grew up in the country and I never saw a live raccoons until I moved into the city.

Zanael
Jan 30, 2007

Finn 3:16 says I just licorice
whipped your peppermint ass

Lonely Virgil posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lkPFdyyMMk

Raccoons are called "washer-bears" in many languages. :3:
Damnit it just clicked for me. :doh:
In french they're called "Ratons laveurs", "laveur" = "washer"

Philippe
Aug 9, 2013

(she/her)

Mais qui est un raton?

Content:

Blackchamber
Jan 25, 2005

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

Mais qui est un raton?

Content:



Scroll up this page

goose willis
Jun 14, 2015

Get ready for teh wacky laughz0r!

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
The dark side of raccoonery: a gang of raccoons attacked attacked a dog and its owners until a neighbor drove them off with a golf club."Many neighbors in the area say they don't like going out after 11pm, not because they worry about getting mugged, but because they worry about a confrontation with raccoons."

http://abc13.com/pets/raccoons-attack-couple-dog-in-san-francisco/952252/

iGestalt
Mar 4, 2013

Albino Racoon's are pretty odd.



A bit nuts.

Flaccid Trip
Apr 29, 2008

Raccoons keep emptying my hummingbird feeder at night. Jerks.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


Drum posted:

Raccoons keep emptying my hummingbird feeder at night. Jerks.

Do they eat it, at least?

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax

cash crab posted:

Do they eat it, at least?

No, just pour it on the ground. They don't even like the nectar. They just don't want anything else to have it.

Flaccid Trip
Apr 29, 2008

Seems like they're eating it, since the ground's never wet, and there aren't ants swarming. the ground underneath. My dad left the recycling bin out the other night, and raccoons spread cans and poo poo around the backyard.

goose willis
Jun 14, 2015

Get ready for teh wacky laughz0r!
Yum yum: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjrKbP6bFvA

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Zanael posted:

Damnit it just clicked for me. :doh:
In french they're called "Ratons laveurs", "laveur" = "washer"

I think someone in another thread, that turned into a raccoon derail because raccoons are hilarious, mentioned that they were called washer bears and the country didn't even actually have any native species of bears. I came to the conclusion that English is the only language that doesn't call them washer bears. I'm sure that's untrue, but washer bear is just such a great name for them.

I always get a kick out of how, when I go outside while raccoons who aren't my bros are eating leftover food off the trey I have outside for the strays, they pull all the food they can reach towards them with both paws, grab the biggest handful they can, then run off while stuffing food into their faces.

Man, I hope those sentences parse for people reading this. I haven't gotten enough sleep.

Beekeeping and You
Sep 27, 2011



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Lonely Virgil
Oct 9, 2012

Washbear remodels man's kitchen, adding a value of over $5,000!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DfGf4M3QZo

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