|
|
you would think it would be awesome, having a wizard for a doctor, but it definitely has some cons |
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:00
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 18:20 |
|
|
|
doctor: how is that new medication working? me: ribbit, ribbit doctor: well, that's to be expected. the swelling has gone down though, right? |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:02
|
|
|
|
he's been working on his devination lately and it's driving me crazy "what brings you here today? wait, don't tell me! (puts hand to his forehead, concentrates) (sighs) ok, tell me." |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:03
|
|
|
|
He's a great doctor, but he only accepts the copay in gems. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:04
|
|
|
|
(wizard doctor sticks his wand in my ear) me: would it kill you to use an otoscope? |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:04
|
|
|
Doctors are subtle and quick to anger- now about that bill of yours... *nearby flash of lightning and roll of thunder** https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:06
|
|
|
|
*holding a propofol drip* This is very powerful magic so just lie back and enjoy the ride. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:09
|
|
|
WizMD: Just try to lay still, it'll be over soon. **cat walks into the room, circles the table clockwise thrice then leaves** WizMD: That'll be 6 polished gems and a well crafted broom for the cat scan, please! At least it's not lupus https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:09
|
|
|
|
Wizard: take two of these and call me in the morning Me *reading*: Eye of newt, take two orally every day until symptoms clear? Doc this was just a check up. You said yourself I've got a clean bill of health... Wizard: *waving hand* You will eat the drat newt eyes Me: Did you just try to jedi mind trick me? Wizard: Uhhhhh *disappears in puff of smoke, leaving a bill for $2000 behind* |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:28
|
|
|
|
my doctor specializes in placebo spells. nothing actually happens, but i feel much better afterwards. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:29
|
|
|
|
*wizard doctor turning patient into duck* WHO'S THE QUACK NOW, rear end in a top hat? |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:30
|
|
|
|
uhm its interesting that you're all thinking of this guy as a wizard first, and a doctor second, instead of a doctor first, and a wizard second |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:33
|
|
|
|
doctor: abra....kadabra!!! me: i have the AIDS virus ---------------- |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:33
|
|
|
|
your a doctor, harry
---------------- |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:34
|
|
|
|
Me: I need a spell to turn my ex into a slug. Wizard MD: Take these. They're off-label but they'll loving put you on your rear end. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:34
|
|
|
|
the preliminary results of wizard radiotherapy are promising, the first two patients were cured of cancer and the third can shoot webs out of his wrists. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:36
|
|
|
|
what if psychiatrists were drug dealers? wait they are
---------------- |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:36
|
|
|
|
me: i want to feel more focused and creative psychiatrist/dealer: hmm yes, pop one of these fuckers once a day you'll be flyin' ---------------- |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:37
|
|
|
|
Doctor writing on paper: Just recite this incantation and your eczema will clear right up. Me: I can't read this. Like, at all. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:39
|
|
|
|
tao of lmao posted:Doctor writing on paper: Just recite this incantation and your eczema will clear right up. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:39
|
|
|
doc i wish i had a bigger dick lmao
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:43
|
|
Cutie Pie Swag~
|
ah poo poo thats a genie nvm
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:43
|
|
|
i'm a wizard not a cleric damnit!
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 14:51
|
|
|
"alright, kid, the good news is you're not going to die. we've found the tumor in time to operate. the bad news is i haven't learned the sleeping spell yet, so you're gonna be wiiiiide awake for this. don't worry, i'll be able to pull your memories out of your head afterwards and you'll never remember this happening."
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:12
|
|
|
wizard, m.d.'s greatest enemy: full disclosure laws
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:13
|
|
|
Wizard, m.d. finds out patient is going to die, but is bound by doctor-daemon confidentiality. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:31
|
|
|
little billy: thanks for curing me mr. copperfield! Now I can live a healthy fulfilling life! david copperfield: oh.... actually billy... I'm just an illusionist...
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:36
|
|
|
|
me: *eyeing large toad in the proctological exam room* a little too familiar if you ask me
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:41
|
|
|
|
DeepQantas posted:Wizard, m.d. finds out patient is going to die, but is bound by doctor-daemon confidentiality. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:44
|
|
|
|
Cute as heck posted:doc i wish i had a bigger dick lmao selective enlarge person? hoo boy, where do i start Qwerinty posted:"alright, kid, the good news is you're not going to die. we've found the tumor in time to operate. the bad news is i haven't learned the sleeping spell yet, so you're gonna be wiiiiide awake for this. don't worry, i'll be able to pull your memories out of your head afterwards and you'll never remember this happening." cone of cold is anesthetic enough |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:44
|
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:me: *eyeing large toad in the proctological exam room* a little too familiar if you ask me ha h |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:45
|
|
|
doc help me out man, i think i was cursed by this chick i met at a party a few nights ago cursed or hexed or some poo poo either way can you make the itch stop?
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:47
|
|
|
|
smoobles posted:me: i want to feel more focused and creative This is my career goal. Working with a wizard on top of that would be dope af too |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:56
|
|
|
|
"Thanks for the prescription, Macnult. Been having a much more positive outlook on life lately. Here's that underwater breathing potion you wanted." |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 15:58
|
|
|
|
"i'll be frank. you have six weeks to live, tops. I'd like to talk to you about your options for after that." |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 16:03
|
|
|
|
me: what is this medicine you are giving me doc? WizMD: it is a rare form of alchemy called a placebo me: how does it work? WizMD: hahahahahahaha. haha. Magic. me: nice. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 16:10
|
|
|
wizard doctor takes a cancer kid down to the morgue to cheer them up "wanna see some hosed up poo poo?" wizard doctor says, necronomicon in hand wizard doctor is sued for malpractice
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 16:14
|
|
|
|
google THIS posted:"i'll be frank. you have six weeks to live, tops. I'd like to talk to you about your options for after that." |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 16:16
|
|
|
|
BrownianMotion posted:me: what is this medicine you are giving me doc? |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 16:16
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 18:20 |
|
|
|
Wizard MD: Alright let's have a listen. *pushes stethoscope to your chest* Wizard MD: Breath in deeply... Yes now exhale for me. Very good. Well everything seems to have cleared up so that's good news but I'm going to ask you to finish taking your antibiotics even if you are feeling well, alright? Anything else you needed today or any questions? Good good well the nurse will help you finish up your paper work and I'm going to go battle a dragon. |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2015 16:21
|
|
