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cat_herder

BE GAY
DO CRIME


Splatmaster posted:

WizMD: Just try to lay still, it'll be over soon.

**cat walks into the room, circles the table clockwise thrice then leaves**

WizMD: That'll be 6 polished gems and a well crafted broom for the cat scan, please! At least it's not lupus

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social vegan



Wizard M.D. : Strange, you still seem to have the rash, did you try that eye of newt I suggested?

Me: Newt? I actually just grabbed eye of aquatic salamander

Wiz: Oh...uh

Me: That's ok, right?

Wiz: *types on magic mirror* U-uh, let me just check I'm definitely just going to bring up your file you know to check to see if you're ok *typetypetypetypetype*

Wiz: Well you see Also in the order of Caudata are sirens which are aquatic salamanders, which have no hind limbs. So newts and sirens are really salamanders. Salamanders make up a mere 350 species out of the 4000 or so known species of amphibians.
Salamanders and Newts - Nature Haven
https://www.naturehaven.co -- eheh

DeepQantas

Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...
Wizard surgeon: Do you ever worry about mistakes?
Regular surgeon: Hey, nobody's come back to complain yet
Wizard surgeon: ...

google THIS

(a woman is in a hospital bed, in labor, with her husband)

orderly: ok, looks like you're all set. the doctor will be here in a moment. (leaves)

(a giant head appears)

giant head: I AM GYNECOZ, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL. LET'S HAVE A BABY.

(hours later)

gynecoz: IT'S A BOY. THE GREAT AND POWERFUL GYNECOZ HAS SPOKEN.

wife: we're parents, honey!

husband: yeah, he looks just like...actually he looks kind of like...that orderly from earlier...

(rustling from the other half of the semiprivate room)

gynecoz: PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!

google THIS posted:

(a woman is in a hospital bed, in labor, with her husband)

orderly: ok, looks like you're all set. the doctor will be here in a moment. (leaves)

(a giant head appears)

giant head: I AM GYNECOZ, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL. LET'S HAVE A BABY.

(hours later)

gynecoz: IT'S A BOY. THE GREAT AND POWERFUL GYNECOZ HAS SPOKEN.

wife: we're parents, honey!

husband: yeah, he looks just like...actually he looks kind of like...that orderly from earlier...

(rustling from the other half of the semiprivate room)

gynecoz: PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

misty mountaintop

by Hand Knit
Eight years in medical school. Eight years at Hogwarts. No wonder they start them at 400K/year. The student loans must be ridiculous.

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misty mountaintop

by Hand Knit
Frankly, most of the functions now performed by doctors could be performed by Registered Nurses, or witches.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Arkanomen

All he wants is a hug
*Wizard MD and Warlock DO open emergency care centers across from each other at the local strip market*

*Spend the day glaring at each other from their towers while the Witch RNs take care of the actual patients*

joke_explainer


yes, i could enchant your teeth so they would never decay... but i would be robbing you of a chance to experience magic on your own. the magic of flossing

Senior Management



haha just like the new Doctor Strange movie

:jerry:

Strontosaurus

hmm, yes, but who am i to judge

FactsAreUseless

Doctor, doctor, gimme the news
I've got a bad case of singing shoes

FactsAreUseless

There's an intern with the doctor today, but I don't need hundreds of animated mops and buckets. I loving hate apprentices.

Arkanomen

All he wants is a hug
Wizard: "This is a teaching hospital, now I know this might be awkward, but would you permit some of our students to observe your procedure."

Patient: "Uhh sure, okay I guess."

*50 Goblins pile into the room and stare as the Wizard Casts "Mage Hand Rectal Exam"*

Baller Ina
Wizard M.D. casts Rejuvenating Waters a/ ur butthole

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Manifisto


Baller Ina posted:

Wizard M.D. casts Rejuvenating Waters a/ ur butthole

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