My friend Caroline claims she's a Sapiosexual

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > My friend Caroline claims she's a Sapiosexual

fuck. marry. t-rex

I'm looking for some canidates to blind date my friend Caroline. She says she's Sapiosexual but I think she's full of poo poo and I'm gonna teach her a lesson, so I want you to be super smart with an aloof and cynical wit, extremely literate, masterful and beloved post writer, etc AND hopefully really fat and ugly. Maybe stinky too.

Anyway anyone around here meet those requirements? this seems like the place to look? You can date my hot but stupid stuckup bitch friend Caroline.

I already checked and I'm literally 0 of the qualities necessary.

# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:01

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 05:00

Ayatollah Hermione: by Cyrano4747

im not very smart or well read but I'm skilled at bullshit would that be sufficient?

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# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:04

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

good luck to caroline on her erotic adventure

# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:05

bacalou

if she's southern just shame her with god's word

# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:35

bacalou

i think that makes them explode

# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:35

Wertjoe

I am strikingly handsome and also very stupid if you want to test your theory the other way.

# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:36

A Wizard of Goatse

I'm grossly obese and I've read the entire Harry Potter series, does this help you OP

# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:36

Ayatollah Hermione: by Cyrano4747

Wertjoe posted:

I am strikingly handsome and also very stupid if you want to test your theory the other way.

don't worry i will feed you Proust quotes via earpiece

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# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:51

GEExCEE

Luvcow posted:

good luck to caroline on her erotic adventure

# ? Aug 27, 2015 21:53

fema crisis actor: bweee-ooo-eee-ooo-eee-ooo

i hear everyone in byob is cute, this is the wrong forum

repost in d&d?

ty bacalou!

# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:01

fuck. marry. t-rex

fema crisis actor posted:

i hear everyone in byob is cute, this is the wrong forum

repost in d&d?

Good idea...

# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:04

fema crisis actor: bweee-ooo-eee-ooo-eee-ooo

And this:

gently caress. marry. t-rex posted:

She says she's Sapiosexual but I think she's full of poo poo and I'm gonna teach her a lesson

almost made me spoof a mouthful of my after work beer.

# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:07

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

what does that even mean?

paul_soccer12 posted:

everyone in the idf must die

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# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:13

bacalou

they find intelligence attractive

# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:14

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

oh. heh heh im smrt

paul_soccer12 posted:

everyone in the idf must die

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# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:18

Lil Cunty

all answers are on a 1- 10 scale, with 1=strongly disagree, 5=neutral or no strong opinion, 10=strongly agree

super smart 10

aloof and cynical wit 10

extremely literate 10

masterful and beloved post writer, etc. doiiiiiiiiiiiiii

really fat 5

and ugly 0

maybe stinky too 8 (if I don't wear deodorant I can make my armpits smell like Campbell's chicken noodle soup in like, 40 minutes on the elliptical)

ty crap

ty landy

# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:27

bacalou

Lil Cunty posted:

(if I don't wear deodorant I can make my armpits smell like Campbell's chicken noodle soup in like, 40 minutes on the elliptical)

check your pm inbox for exciting employment opportunities from campbell's

# ? Aug 27, 2015 22:58

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

What's she look like?

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# ? Aug 27, 2015 23:05

Mapparu

tell Caroline who I am, then tell her I think I am too smart for her standards to date her. (she won't know what hit her it's reverse psychology she'll be begging to date me)

# ? Aug 27, 2015 23:44

Looke

# ? Aug 27, 2015 23:45

tao of lmao

sorry, and good luck, op

# ? Aug 27, 2015 23:46

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

You should instead find a giant douche who wont shut up about some incredibly obscure fandom and see if she goes for it.

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# ? Aug 27, 2015 23:46

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

That way she will unhappy.

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# ? Aug 27, 2015 23:47

Spanish Manlove: HAILGAYSATAN

does she get a lady boner for fossil records of these people: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_sapiens_idaltu ?

# ? Aug 28, 2015 00:03

Bwee

drilldo squirt posted:

That way she will unhappy.

# ? Aug 28, 2015 00:38

Rodatose: corn, corn, corn

sepiasexual, can only become sexually aroused when in cowboy western scenarios. looking 4 a good bucko up for ropeplaying, posse encounters, stagecoach roughery, and duels where you shoot each other at the count of ten

# ? Aug 28, 2015 00:45

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

I don't know what happened to the word 'be' between will and unhappy and I feel ashamed to have left it out. You deserve better than that byob.

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# ? Aug 28, 2015 00:55

Bwee

I thought it was much funnier that way

# ? Aug 28, 2015 01:07

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

I would never do that.

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# ? Aug 28, 2015 01:28

Ayatollah Hermione: by Cyrano4747

drilldo squirt posted:

I would never that.

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# ? Aug 28, 2015 01:37

precision: by VideoGames

drilldo squirt posted:

You should instead find a giant douche who wont shut up about some incredibly obscure fandom

but i'm not single

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# ? Aug 28, 2015 01:45

alnilam

Rodatose posted:

sepiasexual, can only become sexually aroused when in cowboy western scenarios. looking 4 a good bucko up for ropeplaying, posse encounters, stagecoach roughery, and duels where you shoot each other at the count of ten

# ? Aug 28, 2015 02:19