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Since GBS is apparently incapable of coming up with ideas: two to get you started: A man is being fired from McDonald's. He's endured a lecture from his boss. He places his paper hat down on the managers desk, then slams his gun and badge down beside it, and storms out. Second idea: Seedy, pay-by-the-hour daycare, including a neon sign with letters that buzz on and off
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Aug 29, 2015 12:07
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 00:41 |
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A "Kitchen Nightmares" parody where parents bring in a foul-mouthed abrasive chef with a secret heart of gold to help their five year old daughter have a quality tea party with her stuffed animals.
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Aug 29, 2015 17:06
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Not doing your That's Improv-able! class homework for you.
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Aug 30, 2015 13:23
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An elderly man gets hit in the groin with a footballl
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Aug 30, 2015 13:42
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Marketing execs trying to convince Will Smith he should still release a rap song for each of his movies. He tries to argue that he wants to be a serious actor, but gets shouted down and the sketch ends with him doing a rap song as Bagger Vance. Repeat two more times with Ali and I Am Legend. If your sketch group doesn't have any black people, try to be racially sensitive in your portrayal.
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Aug 30, 2015 17:19
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A reality TV show with slutty obese southern girls running around and being generally lovely in a trailer park. We'll call it Young, Dumb and Full of Comfort Food. Except this sounds just like the plot to Catfish.
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Aug 30, 2015 18:34
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Cumslut1895 posted:Since GBS is apparently incapable of coming up with ideas: Spoonfull of Bromide alt detected.
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Aug 30, 2015 19:55
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A dude in glasses and a suit is getting a bj and when he ejaculates it shoots through the back of the girls head, killing her instantly. He looks worried, then lifts up his glasses and incinerates the body with his heat vision.
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Aug 31, 2015 03:04
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Better idea: Woman starts dating a banker under the impression he is jewish. Becomes shocked and offended when starting to give a handjob when he is uncircumcised.
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Aug 31, 2015 03:07
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Cumslut1895 posted:
30 Rock "I Do Do" did this exact joke. Kenneth the NBC page gets fired and turns in his ID badge and, surprisingly, a gun. It was super funny though so kudos to you
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Aug 31, 2015 03:10
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:30 Rock "I Do Do" did this exact joke. Kenneth the NBC page gets fired and turns in his ID badge and, surprisingly, a gun. Tina Fey has hosed with me for the last time
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Aug 31, 2015 03:47
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A man is trying to place an order at a Chinese restaurant but when the waiter asks what he wants "to order" his accent makes it sound like "Toyota" so he keeps saying he doesn't want to buy the waiters car he wants to just order food. The sketch ends with both men choking each other to death. A man on a blind date meets a stunningly beautiful woman who keeps getting up to take a phone call, use the bathroom, etc but every time she returns to the table she has a more and more horrific injury which she doesn't reference and the man is too confused to ask about.
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Aug 31, 2015 04:04
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Skeleton Tinder
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Aug 31, 2015 04:37
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A man finds a secret vial of perfume in an old abandoned shop. He comes home and sprays it on his son. He goes crazy with lust and starts loving him. The grandfather comes in and he sprays him too. Same result. Soon the entire neighbourhood is loving him. Its a gross sweaty orgy and the guy looks into the camera and says "a day in the life of CumSlut1985"
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Aug 31, 2015 04:45
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The Worst Muslim posted:A man finds a secret vial of perfume in an old abandoned shop. He comes home and sprays it on his son. He goes crazy with lust and starts loving him. The grandfather comes in and he sprays him too. Same result. Soon the entire neighbourhood is loving him. Its a gross sweaty orgy and the guy looks into the camera and says "a day in the life of CumSlut1985" Yeah that's right you incels i get laid with whole neighborhoods
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Aug 31, 2015 05:29
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A newly married wife wants to have a serious discussion with her husband about innocent topics such as mustard or mayo, type of household cleaner etc and is astonished to find he doesn't understand English.
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Sep 2, 2015 17:31
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Quick one: a fake advertisement for Coke or Pepsi where a man extolls the virtues of it and makes a point of how easy it is to lure children with the product and the camera pans back to show he is being brutally raped in prison.
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Sep 2, 2015 17:33
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A child in kindergarden continually interrupts naptime to explain his economic theory on a flat tax to his disinterested teacher and even more disinterested and cranky classmates.
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Sep 2, 2015 17:35
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A realistic McDonald's commercial. Shot in black-in-white. Uncomfortable ambient music plays in the back. No dialogue. An overweight neckbeard is sleeping on a mattress on the floor. He's struggling to breathe from sleep apnea. His body shocks him to wake up because his airways are blocked. He wakes up, startled. He looks at the clock. 1:36 PM. He frowns. Another day. We see a wide shot of his lovely studio apartment: McDonald's wrappers, bags, soda cups: everywhere. One of them spilled months ago and left a faded brown stain on the carpet. Our hero jerks off into a nearby shirt that's too small for him and tosses it into a pile of dirty clothes that haven't been washed in months. He puts on a pair of cargo shorts, a My Little Pony t-shirt with BBQ stains on it, slips on his sandals, and starts to walk out the front door. He stops. He grabs a fedora that's sitting on the kitchen table. Can't forget that. He gets in his 2006 Toyota Camry that his parents bought for him years ago. The car buckles under his weight, but it still runs pretty well. Perhaps it would be the only good thing left in his life if the backseats weren't covered in trash: 7/11 hot dog containers, Frosty straws with old, dried chocolate lard on them, and a few pickles here and there. And the stains. The stains. It would be bad enough to look at it, but the amalgam of old, processed food from 20 different fast-food restaurants has manifested into a smell that our hero couldn't remove with all the car detailing in the world. Perhaps he doesn't want to. Maybe he deserves to inhale this stench every day. Somehow he gets to McDonalds. He pulls through the drive-thru and musters up all the energy he has to bark his order into the speaker. This will be his only human interaction for the day, and not a second of it will be without shame. He orders two large Big Mac meals, complete with two sodas and four apple pies. This way, at least the cashier will think he's ordering for two people, and not just for himself. Although, he's beginning to think that maybe this cashier is getting wise to his game. It may be time to switch up his routine again and not come to one particular place all the time. The cashier hands him his food. His hands are trembling, he's sweating. He starts to speed home, reaching into the bag the whole time and devouring french fries. He can't even make it all the way home before he pulls into a nearby high-end suburban neighborhood, parks in front of someone's house, and begins inhaling everything. For a brief, fleeting moment amidst the chaos, his problems are gone. He no longer has to worry about his late unemployment check, his unfinished marketing degree, as well as the crippling school loans that resulted from it. Everything's OK. For a moment. The front door to the house across the street opens. A father has his 3-year-old daughter sitting on his shoulders. She's laughing hysterically, covering her father's eyes. He laughs back, playing along. This was their little game. A young, fit, beautiful brunette exits the house carrying a baby seat for the car. A six-year-old boy trails behind her, jumping up and down with a boundless energy. Our hero looks at this happy family. He realizes that this family has something he'll never find at the bottom of a Dr. Pepper: love. A single tear streams down his cheek. Cut back to the studio apartment: our hero shuffles in, defeated. He opens a nearby closet door. He kneels down to find a shoebox underneath an old stack of mangas. He opens the lid to reveal a 9MM handgun. He sits in the closet, puts his back to the wall, takes the gun, loads it, and points it in his mouth. He's crying, but he's not sure why now. He closes his eyes. Maybe today, maybe this time, he'll have the courage to pull the loving trigger. Cut to black. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba
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Sep 2, 2015 19:00
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B-Hard posted:A realistic McDonald's commercial. I'm loving it
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Sep 2, 2015 19:19
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Han Solo is banging Luke Skywalker and when he pulls his dick out he's like: "And I thought that it smelled bad on the outside!"
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Sep 2, 2015 19:44
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A bunch of frat guys find an abandoned six-pack on their lawn. They bring it inside, wrap it in a blanket, and nurse it back to health. Months later, they release a keg into the woods, telling it to "go be with its own kind."
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Sep 2, 2015 19:45
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A man becomes obsessed with setting the Guiness World Record for the biggest pancake, losing his job as well as his family in the process. Eventually he is awarded the world record as everyone around him cheers and congratulates as he cries in joy but the scene shifts and he is sitting at the table crying eating pancakes with the bodies of his wife and children in their chairs with pancakes for faces.
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Sep 2, 2015 20:03
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Two men enter a restaurant. The host asks, in an American accent, table for two? They nod. The two men are brought to a table and they sit across from each other. They begin to talk in thick Scottish accents completely unintelligible to the viewer, and the waiter comes over and says, also in an American accent, "Ah you gentlemen must be Scottish! My great-grandparents were Irish!" They continue to talk unintelligibly while the waiter is talking. "Uh, so, can I take your drink orders?" They both look at the waiter and keep speaking apparent gibberish in thick Scottish accents. The camera cuts to close up of the confused look of the waiter. The scene jumps to the two men laying on the floor being examined by an paramedic, with an EMT examine two driver's licenses. The EMT looks at the waiter and said, "When could you tell Mr. Kolakowski and Mr. Baptiste were having strokes?"
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Sep 3, 2015 17:14
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I always wanted to get a buddy of mine to shave his beard such that there's a moustache on the side of his face. Then we'd film a single shot of him entering a room and going "wow, it's windy out there!"
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Sep 3, 2015 18:29
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a friend sets his friend up for one if those scare tactics shows. some scare done at his house. everytime they try do it they have to stop because he just starts masturbating. there might be an additional ending joke but I can't think of it
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Sep 4, 2015 04:18
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Big Brother style show. All the housemates are assembled in the living room. Big Brother asks "Now are you ready to find out the twist for this season? One of the housemates... is a sex offender!" The camera pans across the shocked housemates and one of them has a huge erection.
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Sep 4, 2015 05:41
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A boyfriend comes over to a womans apartment and her roommate is a black man with an absurdly large penis clearly visible under his clothing. Despite both their assurances that there is nothing sexual whatsoever, situations keep arising where she has to put her hands and or/face around/near/on his penis. Their protestations rise in vehemence as the boyfriend gets angrier and more bewildered until she is clearly jacking him off under the boyfriends jacket while both of them continue reassuring the boyfriend he has nothing to worry about.
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Sep 4, 2015 15:41
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A man and woman go to a diner and sit at the counter. The man asks for a beer and the bartender puts it behind his back and twists making a loud popping and sucking sound inferring the man is using his rear end to somehow open the beer. However tge counter prevents the man and woman from clearly seeing what is being done. They continue to ask for drinks and order food all of which appear to come from the waiters anus or have some activity associated with being near his anus. Finally they leave, including thr waiter making change from his anus area and as they walk out they remark that it is still better than chilis
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Dec 17, 2015 06:14
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Me sitting on a toilet while a cacophony of sounds play (a nuclear explosion, a cannon, a slide whistle). I scream and swear in anguish and the toilet bowl cracks violently to raucous laughter.
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Dec 17, 2015 06:59
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QUACKTASTIC posted:Skeleton Tinder So, uh, do you have to be a skeleton to join, or...?
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Dec 17, 2015 08:20
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Two guys are riding along silently and out of boredom they begin drumming on the dash and steering wheel. They are then pulled over by a police. When he comes to the window he says they're being arrested for dope. They look at each other confused and the cop says, "dope beats!" And starts drumming on the hood with his baton.
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Dec 17, 2015 08:24
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QUACKTASTIC posted:Skeleton Tinder
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Dec 17, 2015 13:19
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Somebody ejaculates every time they hear a contraction even if they can't 
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Dec 19, 2015 09:46
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A super villain who stops superheroes right in their tracks by slowly jerking off, whilst looking them right in the eyes
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Dec 19, 2015 10:42
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A man and woman are having a dinner party but are obviously an unhappy couple. they can't help but insult each other in front kf the guests and the insulted person always asks to see the other one in the kitchen privately. However the kitchen is next to the dining room and it also has no dividing wall so the two are just ten feet away from their guests In plain view and easily overheard. The hosts then return with fake smiles to their guests and seem confused when the guests explain they can see and hear the argument taking place. Both hosts deny any arguing takes place. The hosts then ask each guest one by one to see them in the kitchen privately and proceed to murder each guest in plain view of the other guests. The guests, restrained by decorum, have no choice but to play along and act like they are not aware of the murders as their numbers dwindle.
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May 30, 2016 06:44
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A mime who explains what he is miming.
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May 30, 2016 07:29
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Rapping Pope
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May 30, 2016 14:22
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There's a robot that's full of farts but it can't contain all the farts. wait MY ideas?
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May 30, 2016 14:59
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 00:41 |
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An Apple Store for cavemen.
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May 30, 2016 16:39
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