Applewhite posted:

For shields I change my vote to whomever has the highest cowardice score in the deck.

Gilganixon posted:

The ship is a self-contained economy which can print its own money, but there's no galactic currency.


The Captain will also get any crew weapon but they're not as good as personal weapons in general (still way better than nothing).


Yeah this is the Caiman katana, equal parts ridiculous, impractical and impressive to beta males.

Hogge Wild posted:

If we're going to encounter 10' Space Poles we may also need a Polelarity Reverser.

Gridlocked posted:

Hey guys ARMADA is coming. Pay us RICHES and we will take you with us to safety.

Take RICHES and REFUGEES









Eject REFUGEES into SPACE

Ponderous Saxon posted:

They seem like a scrappy enough bunch - how about trying to kidnap an army of CHILD SOLDIERS? It might be good to have some cannon fodder.

drat horror queefs posted:

They look like a race of plant people or something and are probably stringy and tasteless. Not even worth eating.

I vote we cook the atmosphere and float around in the smoke to check if we can get a halfway decent high (after all, plant-people). If not, just chop up the planet with the old death laser and leave.

Dogstoyevsky posted:

No way man, we don't want to manage a for-real boots-on-the-ground occupation. That'll take years and our crew is obviously less competent than the Bush administration.

They spurned us, we can't let that slide. Smite them, take what we can, and get out.

Edit: Can we like melt the icecaps or something? Wanna leave some people left alive as a warning to other passersby.

Applewhite posted:

You know what we should really loot? toilet paper. Our home planwet was blown up so we won't be getting any more from there. Better load up while we can. The creatures of the next planet might wipe their asses with leaves for all we know. Then we'll really be in a pickle.
Speaking of pickles, we should probably loot some food.

Xelkelvos posted:

Slaves tends to do that whole uprising thing and oppressed species tend to be stringy. Pick up the most delicious looking Erotic Fauna they have.

Obscil posted:

Slaves and the coffee press.

Ponderous Saxon posted:

Slaves for our corps of spice-tripping shock-troops. Or we can eat them.

Gilganixon posted:

Update:

Here's where we left off last time, beaming down to the planet:


We're taking down the captain (our player character), these two idiots:

and a redshirt. They all get the benefit of the bayounets we took at the start (+1 expertise) but they don't have the ship's systems backing them up in this fight, meaning they don't get the +3 to their stats they enjoy on the ship.

The rules on fighting (read only if interested):


Our crew are crocs so have combat expertise of 5 (6 with the bayounets). The redshirt only has expertise 4 (5 with the bayonet). The captain has expertise 6 (7). Our engineer has 2 FISTS, the captain 3. The redshirt and Chubbs have the usual 1 FIST. Each away team member has a single guard to fight, with stats 4 Expertise and 1 FIST. Shouldn't be too hard...

Unfortunately it's not so straight forward. Chubbs and the captain take down their opponents but Rex rolled equal to his opponent and both of them go down. The redshirt is killed by his opponent. This leaves two against one in our favour.

Rather than risk the captain I put Chubbs up against the last guard, and the guard clowns him as well. The captain makes an unopposed attack and handily puts the guard down at last. The captain is left to gather the loot and we're all beamed up. Not only is combat brutal in this game but the crocs are really bad at it - a useful lesson.

We took two items - Haldian slaves and the coffee press.



The press doesn't look like much but that boost can come after we've failed a roll - 5 ship's energy isn't too much to pay to turned a missed shot into a hit, for instance. The slaves are also pretty handy early game.

We've got two wounded so I roll on the wounds table for each. 1 for Rex and 5 for Chubbs. Rex irritatingly leaps to his feet unwounded (he was playing dead, apparently), but our weapons officer will never be quite the same again. He will need 5 days of medical attention, which means he's not going to be at his post until at least 5 stellar days have passed. His duties will be carried out by a random ensign who has an expertise 2 lower than the person he's filling in for. After 5 days he can return to his post but will still be wounded (-1 to all expertise rolls in addition to the critical effects of the wound, for a total of -2). We can expend 10 ship's ENERGY while we're in the jump to heal ONE crewman from a wounded state, but only after the healing period has ended. If we leave the jump before a total of five days has passed it'll have to wait until next time.

We also have to take a Crapulence test now for the survivors of the mission - Rex has already failed his this turn so we don't worry about him, but we look at Chubbs. He has 1 current CRAPULENCE. Rolling 1D6 of course I get a 1, meaning his CRAPULENCE ticks up - since his initial CRAPULENCE is now 2 he reaches 3 CRAPULENCE, bringing the total to a slightly threatening 11. We may have to do something about this while we're in the jump.

Anyway setting this minor military setback to one side, let's get revenge for poor old Chubbs and blast the planet.

Turning to 550:



Our choices here are pretty simple - do we take the several days to refuel and/or build a hull repair kit, or do we just plot out our next jump/ambush?

Starship manifest:

fancy sauces posted:

replace chubbs with two haldian slaves in a trenchcoat

Elukka posted:

Skinks aren't allowed to take officer positions on Caiman ships but I think there was some way to do the trench coat thing with skinks and fool the caimans into thinking it's one of them?

comedyblissoption posted:

Summon Ironjaw.

Elukka posted:

Option 2 - We need to get rid of Genghis Rex, the crapulent bastard.

e: ^^^ As a honorable agamid I reject these slanderous accusations of skinkhood.

Applewhite posted:

Is Dippy Bird okay?

EvilTaytoMan posted:

Dance Off

Gilganixon posted:

Like all professional gamebook LPers, I carefully disassemble the books by unbinding them, and I mount the pages on black card for scanning. I am not up to anything sinister and, above all, I am definitely not a Caiman agent making up a book as we go along in an attempt to find the location of your "Earth".

(typically you get 20 or 30 energy for each line on the map you cross) but you might consider eating the valet if things get rough.

comedyblissoption posted:

Chubbs instead of redshirts.

DmitriX posted:

Dr Cheeto posted:

About 5,000 krok and a personal favor, right?

Dr Cheeto posted:

Well, if you're not a Caiman, sure.

Dr Cheeto posted:

You sound like a skink, Borland. Always "meritocracy" this and "power to the people" that.