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bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

I've never made a Kickstarter before, and I was hoping I could get some advice before I made this one live.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1398772708/1494487578?token=68346705

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bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Sedisp posted:

Only 10k for the top reward?

KS capped me at 10k. The last three were supposed to be 20k, 50k, and 100k, but I had to adjust them down.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Maldoror posted:

Did you write that yourself? Cause it's pretty fuckin funny :mmmhmm:

I dunno. Probably not. Are you a CIG lawyer?


NoNotTheMindProbe posted:

I'd feel more comfortable throwing money at this if a really fat idiot was the public face of the project.

I understand your concerns, and I think they can be accommodated.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Beast of Bourbon posted:

I've worked at a half dozen game dev/pubs, this isn't anything out of the ordinary for scrappy devs.

Which engenders the question, can a studio funded to the tune of 100m dollars constitute "scrappy devs"?

And after the Jennison exit interview, can anyone think that CIG is working "lean and mean" while he says they paid him for 17 months in order to do 3-5 months worth of work?

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Maldoror posted:

No.

I am however a big B movie fan, I would probably do the $10,000 pledge if you were married to a B movie actress and made her like some sort of vice president of your project.

You're in luck! Due to my Mormonite proclivities I'm married to twelve different women, and every single one is a VP in some capacity of my amazing Space Resident project, and at least half of them are B grade actresses.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Sedisp posted:

Add them as stretch goals. Then take my money.

I thought I could do that as well, but maybe not? It wouldn't let me add any. I assumed I could but it didn't even give me the option. Maybe you can only do that after you go live, or maybe only after you start approaching your original goal.

I recently backed a different game and they said they wouldn't release any stretch goals until they hit 550/700k or so funding, soooo...? I dunno.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Trapezium Dave posted:

As far as I can tell stretch goals run on the honour system. You put them in manually into your campaign spiel. I've also seen a few campaigns do over $10K goals too listed off-site (got no idea if you can pledge more than that on Kickstarter).

Always happy to help a kickstarter be successful.

Ah, that could be my problem, thinking there'd be an actual mechanism for them. Whether there is, or isn't, I can certainly add them to the generic campaign spiel, I would say. Thanks for the tip!

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Gonkish posted:

Not gonna lie, this looks like legit fun. Not 93 million dollars worth of fun, but fun.

https://gfycat.com/SneakyCookedBooby

Are you kidding? It looks loving amazing. A 93 million dollar slip n slide simulator is the best outcome that can be hoped for.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Eonwe posted:

how is that actually an actionable thing, what would the offense be?

Sperglording without the appropriate permits.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Derek commented on my Kickstarter, and replied to one of my tweets. I feel like I've been touched by an angel.

I LOVE YOU DEREK. Don't ever stop. Burn these aspie jpeg buyers, and their crobert overlord, to the ground. Don't ever let them dissuade you from you being you.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Mukip posted:

Yeah, well that's some bullshit. It's disingenious how they push this "verified but not really" angle. They aren't confident in their sources but they went to publication anyway. Until we hear something solid about it the shoddy behavior of the Escapist casts doubt on everything.

In this dream I had I worked at CIG and Sandi regularly called me the N word (even though I'm super white), I was once lashed 30 times for not producing jpegs rapidly enough, there were mandatory twice monthly pube inspections, and this big fat gently caress tried regularly to literally eat me.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

peter gabriel posted:

A sinewy thin Lesnick slid effortlessly into his snug space suit, as he caught a glimpse of his athletic frame in his mirror he flexed his lithe but strong arms, grinned a chisel jawed grin and winked at himself 'Looking good Commander' he whispered as he...

Ham Admiral Lesnick once again began the process of heaving his corpulent bulk up the freight ramp of his pixel ship, unable to board his craft via the personnel hatch due to circumference issues. "Come on Lesnick, you got this, all the way to the top this time" he thought, knowing that he'd never before been able to make it with any less than three breaks in order to catch his breath and consume a beef roast.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Enchanted Hat posted:



https://forums.robertsspaceindustri...ithin-the-teams. The pictures in this thread look like something out of a serial killer's basement. I don't even know what some of these are supposed to be.



Jesus wept.

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bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Erenthal posted:

I can picture those pictures printed out in a manila folder on some coffe-stained desk, labeled "THE JPEG STRANGLER MURDERS, EXHIBITS A-Z"

So much this. Virtually all of the extreme SC zealots appear to have some degree of mental illness, but there is NO WAY this guy doesn't kill at least six people and then himself when this thing goes tits up.

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