Star Citizen: Fear, Uncertainty, and Debt

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Star Citizen: Fear, Uncertainty, and Debt

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

What have I missed that there are now refunds? Has the Christ Roberts bubble burst? Is the apocalypse nigh?

# ¿ Oct 4, 2015 02:39

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 10:44

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Mr SoupTeeth posted:

A place to live out my dream as a well endowed Wolf-Squirrel-Fox hybrid starship commander that is also a space farmer and regular at the space dance club.

Speaking of furries, someone needs to edit that interview that the squeaky-voiced furry did with Lord Saint Christ of Roberts to be asking about all of this poo poo. For sheer absurdity.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2015 04:24

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

This is the most amazing meltdown. Over an article that could have easily been ignored... it's just... it's incredible.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2015 09:15

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Zmej posted:

lol wake up to 400 new posts, "what's happening"

chris baby, sweetie, go take a nap before you do anything else

Napping cuts into his precious snorting time. Unacceptable.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2015 19:15

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

peter gabriel posted:

I'm logging into the verse now for some fun times in space.
I want this to be interactive so lets decide as a group, should I:

1) Walk around a warehouse
2) Fly near some rocks

3) Abandon ship before it's too late.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2015 21:46

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

peter gabriel posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V44T0p1ICYw

My 5 seconds of internet fame are here, and they are glorious.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2015 00:32

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Cowman posted:

so is this game supposed to be a freespace knockoff with some of EVE's ridiculous number crunching and grinding along with lovely facebook game tie-ins? Freespace 2 was pretty cool but Volition owns that.

I seriously don't understand what this game is supposed to be other than space nerds jerking off about their spaceships. If it was a spaceship model sim then why the gently caress has it taken them 4 years to make some spaceship models.

I found this on Christ Robert's laptop desktop:

Star_Citizen_Design_Doc.txt:

code:

1.) Collect nerd wish fulfillment money.
2.) Coke.
3.) Coke.
4.) Coke.
5.) COKE.
6.) WHERE HAS ALL THE loving COKE GONE?
7.) Release Idris LTI
8.) Repeat steps 2-6.

PS: Don't hire hairy vaginas or icky minorities.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2015 06:41

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

All I know is that we have come full circle. Dr. Derek D. Smart has gone from antagonist to protagonist (with the customary egotistical garnishing), and thus we are clearly in the final act of this play.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 01:16

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

If the upcoming CitCon doesn't drop a bomb on par with "hey the game is coming out now" or something, I'm not sure what they're going to do. If it's yet another jpeg sale being hyped with a scripted demo wherein Chris yells at some poor fuckers repeatedly... will that honestly work for anyone other than the Christ Roberts faithful?

# ¿ Oct 9, 2015 05:19

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

I can't wait for the demonstration of Star Marine with a good 45 minutes of Christ Roberts yelling at some poor programmer to fix poo poo so that he can make enough from the brown sea by the time he gets off stage to pay his coke dealer.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2015 04:53

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

How the gently caress...

Derek Smart was right. This is all a desperate attempt to distract backers from the complete lack of game.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2015 22:11

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

beze posted:

Yeah but it figures Derek Smart would already be in the middle of all of this given his craptastic record.

I guess his years of making barely functional poo poo have given him a sort of "crap-dar" that allows him to detect other monumental failures.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2015 22:14

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Did they REALLY just spend time singing happy birthday to a loving CAKE rather than, you know, spend time showing off the game that they've been "working" on?

# ¿ Oct 10, 2015 22:33

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

So that was basically just a long, drawn-out "PLEASE FORGET ABOUT THE NON-GAME! LOOK A MOVIE! I MADE ANOTHER lovely MOVIE NO ONE WANTS TO SEE!"

# ¿ Oct 10, 2015 22:36

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

I like how this entire thing was just Christ Roberts saying "HEY HEY LOOK WE AREN'T WASTING MONEY" and then showcasing how he wasted money. Also, spit cake.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2015 22:46

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Star Shitizen: There is Only Posts

# ¿ Oct 11, 2015 08:55

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Oh gently caress the plague is spreading. There are posts on the Elite subreddit with people linking their referral codes, trying to con people into the cult.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2015 00:19

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

It's madness. Derek Smart and goons allied to mock/destroy a shitstorm. It took the coke - fueled powers of Christ Roberts, but it happened.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2015 00:31

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Ravane posted:

Wait, so Star Citizen is a front for a money laundering gig by a secret Gizmondo gambling mafia?

Wait, does that mean we're not the real goons here?

I have no idea. All I know is that this thread keeps delivering.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 08:18

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

All I know is that the actual development of this game peaked when Christ Roberts was interviewed by the squeak furry. I'm sure future nerdstorians will agree that that was the event that caused Chris to snort a ludicrous amount of cocaine off of some hooker's pubes and decide he was gonna make a space movie... just because.

Then he raped and killed a goat. Just because. True story.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2015 07:22

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

I know we're probably all getting sick of the Elite vs. SC comparisons, but this really drives home how lovely Citizen Con was: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Et5Ivi_yIg

That's a VOD recording of a livestream that the guys at Frontier did today to show off their planetary generation stuff. There's more substance in that video than anything that was presented at CitCon at all, ever.

Also, I'm willing to bet they all have pube jungles, just to make Sandi wretch when she reads this.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2015 02:16

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Justin Tyme posted:

This looks really loving cool and all E:D needs now is multicrew and FPS boarding (maybe throw in a worthwhile metagame too) and it'll literally be Star Citizen except real

Multi-crew is coming in the next season (a "season" being their term for an expansion of sequential updates... so the base game that is out right now is "Season 1", and Horizons, the new expansion -- which is what these planetary bodies are from -- is "Season 2"), though space legs (being able to walk around the ship) will not be, nor will FPS. Those two things are apparently planned for future seasons, however.

Basically, yeah, given more time Elite might end up being Star Citizen except... you know... real.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2015 04:19

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

More pixels means more fun.

Can confirm. More pixels is better.

Actually I think that when people call Elite boring, they're really criticizing the general lack of an over-arching structure to the game. If you want it to provide you with a story, a purpose, etc. it's not going to do that. It literally drops you in a ship in a space station and says "have fun". It wants you to make your own goals... and for a lot of people that boils down to "get a new ship". That puts focus on money grinding and that gets dull quickly.

Admittedly, it needs more variation in what you can do. It needs to be fleshed out a lot more (and Horizons is seemingly moving in that direction). It's a solid foundation but there's not a lot of stuff to gently caress around with.

I guess what I'm saying is that Elite needs more time to mature. Even still, it's more of an actual game than SC, which, I know, is an incredibly high bar.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2015 21:58

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KYHwztocgw

93 million dollars.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2015 04:05

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Remember when Sandi didn't like black people and/or pubes?

# ¿ Oct 18, 2015 22:42

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Sillybones posted:

To the people reading, this whole situation is funny and that is why we are here. What is keeping you doing what you are doing? What is your motivation exactly?

I am reading this thread, and in doing so I have found that, despite my basement dwelling, unwashed goon ways there are thousands of people in the world more freakish than I. My motivation is procrastination.

Also, fart.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2015 05:31

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

Not gonna lie, this looks like legit fun. Not 93 million dollars worth of fun, but fun.

https://gfycat.com/SneakyCookedBooby

# ¿ Oct 22, 2015 22:34

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 10:44

Gonkish: May 19, 2004

There is no love, there is no life, there is only jpegs.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2015 21:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Star Citizen: Fear, Uncertainty, and Debt