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Rangpur
Dec 31, 2008

Etrian Odyssey IV has one of the best JRPG postgame superbosses, in that the main requirement for beating it is to fully explore the postgame labyrinth. And if you're playing an EO postgame, the exploration is what you're there for. In the process you find clues to a puzzle that makes killing it feasible without a godawful level of grinding. (You can do without it, but uh, good luck with that.)

The rest of the series does not qualify due to a combination of bullshit postgame labyrinth design, bullshit postgame boss design, or both. Usually both tbqh. Abyssal God's got some rockin' music to get slaughtered to, tho'.

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Thyself D. Mad
Jan 14, 2015

Derek Barona posted:

I'm sensing some mild hostility towards FFXIII's poor design choices. I wonder why?

That last one isn't from FFXIII. It's from the SMT series, Because SMT tends to hates you at it's best (Lets not talk about its worst). And he didn't include that being fully immune to all elements can also kill you, because at least one super boss will bust out an instant kill if you are immune to an element. And the boss in question has ALL of the elements.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
At least SMT (and FFX) is turn based so you have time to process the bullshit move the enemy just pulled and can react accordingly. Or to start crying, in the case of the DemiFiend/Nocturne. Not so much in FFXIII.

Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 07:13 on Dec 13, 2015

Xenoveritas
May 9, 2010
Dinosaur Gum
Also in FFXIII, even if you know "fire monster absorbs fire, weak to ice" (or whatever) you have to teach your characters that before they know it - which is a problem when you only actively control the actions of the main character.

Bufuman
Jun 15, 2013

Sleep in the briefing room.
At your own peril.

Xenoveritas posted:

Also in FFXIII, even if you know "fire monster absorbs fire, weak to ice" (or whatever) you have to teach your characters that before they know it - which is a problem when you only actively control the actions of the main character.

On the other hand, once they do know about a weakness, they will spam the HELL out of that poo poo.

But yeah, I found the AI of FFXIII to be pretty drat spotty. It has its moments of greatness (Synergists, for example, tend to start up by Hasting themselves and then others so they can get other buffs up quicker) and utter stupidity (Medic: "Party leader nearly dead? Better cure everyone else's status ailments first!")

Sylphosaurus
Sep 6, 2007
I'd probably enjoy superbosses if they gave you something better in reward than weapons or experience, because face it, if I had to grind my rear end off to kill a boss that's harder than anything else in the game (ending boss included), then I won't need another fuckong Sword of Killitude or whatever.

Didn't one of the Dragonquests have the superboss punk the ending boss for you since you had already beaten the toughest the game had to offer you?. Because that's at least something funny in exchange for all the bullshit you endure in preparing for the superboss.

VagueRant
May 24, 2012
Is the Expert sphere grid any good? Does it actually allow for any interesting character building and overpowered-ness?

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Sylphosaurus posted:

I'd probably enjoy superbosses if they gave you something better in reward than weapons or experience, because face it, if I had to grind my rear end off to kill a boss that's harder than anything else in the game (ending boss included), then I won't need another fuckong Sword of Killitude or whatever.

Didn't one of the Dragonquests have the superboss punk the ending boss for you since you had already beaten the toughest the game had to offer you?. Because that's at least something funny in exchange for all the bullshit you endure in preparing for the superboss.

Yes. In DQ 6 If you manage to defeat Nokturnus in less than 20 turns, you will be treated to a special scene. It the same as the normal ending, except there will also be a battle where Nokturnus kills Mortamor in a completely one-sided fight. In short. If you beat this guy, quick, he'll one shot the final boss for you.

Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying

Sylphosaurus posted:

I'd probably enjoy superbosses if they gave you something better in reward than weapons or experience, because face it, if I had to grind my rear end off to kill a boss that's harder than anything else in the game (ending boss included), then I won't need another fuckong Sword of Killitude or whatever.
The age old RPG dilemma. Which comes last: the toughest enemy or the best loot?

Sindai fucked around with this message at 12:02 on Dec 13, 2015

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012




I think Bowser X in Bowser's Inside Story was pretty manageable.

Biggest problem in that game was how hard it was to reach level 40 to see what happens at max rank.

Zwiebel
Feb 19, 2011

Hi!

VagueRant posted:

Is the Expert sphere grid any good? Does it actually allow for any interesting character building and overpowered-ness?

It's less overpowered than the normal grid, because it has less nodes than the normal grid and you sort of replace all nodes on the entire grid anyways if you're actually interested in the super bosses.
It allows you to take a character down a different path from the very beginning of the game. For example: having Yuna go down Aurons path of being buff and tough guy. Additionally it adds a few more intersections between the paths to the point where you might accidentally send someone onto the grid of another character because it seemed like the way to go.

It's not really noticeably more powerful than the normal grid.

The real way to get overpowered in this game is to just fill out everything and overlevel. There's even an easy way to get 99sphere levels for your party in five minutes, so the chokepoint is usually having to get all those spheres that unlock the nodes on the grid.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
My experience with the expert grid is that Tidus, Yuna and Auron wound up total power houses who could deal out thousands of damage in a single hit (usually after cheers) and Yuna wound up so strong that my Aeons could oneshot the Seymour bosses

I don't know if I over levelled (I don't think I did) but that grid can lead to some ridiculous power. I guess I'd have to play through again on regular grid mode to see though. Also it probably helped that I decided to do lightning dodging then and there, and was able to place up to 4 Strength spheres all in a row for the trio.

Death Zebra
May 14, 2014

I once did a play through with an Xploder code for infinite of every item and used whatever sphere can activate any node with an autofire controller to activate everything on the grid. It took about 30 minutes for one character.

Serenity Dove
Jan 29, 2008

If I had a Pikachu, it'd probably eat my stuff.
I really like Belgemine. She's generally a pretty cool lady especially in comparison to some of the other unsent we've seen so far like Mika and Seymour. She's not here for power or any crazy schemes but because she genuinely wants to make a difference. Even though she was unable to defeat Sin she knew her experiences could help another summoned succeed when she failed. I do feel a bit sad as I get the impression she probably just roamed back and forth on the pilgrimage route to try and find summoners to help.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.
I think the biggest question Belgemine being Unsent raises for me is what happened to her Guardians? Did they also become Unsent? Did they devolve into fiends? Did she somehow Send them despite being Unsent herself? Did she even have Guardians to begin with? Maybe she failed at her pilgrimage because she was attempting a solo run. :iiam:

Archenteron
Nov 3, 2006

:marc:
They probably went down the chasm :v:

The Dark Id
Aug 13, 2005

Why
you
know
I
LOVE
THIS SHIT !!!!
[citation needed]
Episode LXXXV: My Monster of the Day



So much for the barren planes of the Calm Lands. It's just a short jog across a couple of bridges across this canyon and we're out of this lousy zone.





Oh, goddammit! The frikkin' tree elves are back again... Nobody in the history of fiction has ever been happy to see an elf. Even when they show up to save the day it's in a fashion that you could undoubtedly go, “Couldn't you pointy eared motherfuckers have gotten your asses here twenty minutes earlier? Bill got shot by an arrow and DIED!”

How did these guys already cut us off at the pass from Bevelle? That was ju—oh right. The night we wasted resting and/or boning... Probably ought to have gotten more than twenty feet from Bevelle's entrance before setting up camp, huh?



Whoops. I guess Seymour is still alive and we just haphazardly left that threat unresolved for absolutely no reason. I wouldn't have been that hard to have a load of deadly cutscene rifle armed Yevon warrior monks come storming in our direction from afar after the Seymour Natus battle. That would at least give a lame, but plausible reason as to why we didn't have Yuna send Seymour then and there. But that would take effort that Bevelle clearly wasn't afforded. So meh, our party are just a bunch of incompetent knuckleheads.



Well, Yuna to be fair... you are married to the guy. That did actually happen. You're technically Yuna Guado now. For all we know these guys are serving you your divorce papers. :v:



Oh well, everyone strike your best angry and/or sassy pose and maybe they'll go away.



“I warn you, the maester doesn't need you alive."

I think they accidentally forgot to record a line here until later. The voice actor sounds like they're either a different person or on another mic. If you look closely you can see it's the same tall guy speaking all the lines, so it's not like his hunchback buddy spoke up.

IMDB actually lists the voice director for Final Fantasy X, Jack Fletcher.

He's actually done quite a bit over the years. Prior to this he was the voice director for the fairly bad (because the studio insisted on celebrity voices that suck as voice actors) Disney dubs of Kiki's Delivery Service and Princess Mononoke. Also Aeon Flux as well as some other anime bullshit. Like Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. Bang up job there, Jack.

He later went on to voice direct game dubs such as Yakuza 1's English dub where Mark Hamill had no idea how to handle honorifics in the middle of doing his Joker voice and would kind of awkwardly pause a moment every time they came up. Or Final Fantasy XII and its fairly good dub recorded into a cup and string attached to a faded cassette tape in the next room. Though I'd just like to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and assume he kept getting stuck with studio jobs with idiotic constraints like Final Fantasy X's adhering to lip flaps business. :v:



Anyway, enough about voice directors speculation. There's this dipshit looking rock golem idiot strolling up here now.



The two Guado fellows don't have anything further to say to Yuna and the crew. They're just out. Look, this is just a crappy paying 9-5 job for them. They waited here for hours. They requested Yuna speak with Seymour, she predictably rejected, and they unleashed the big rock dude like instructed. That's it. That's was the assignment. They don't care beyond that! It's just back to Guadosalam to clock out and grab a beer for these two.



In any case, this stupid rear end filler of a boss is here now. Look at this moronic rock dude. This is the most half-assed looking excuse for a boss I've seen the entire game. It's like something you'd pick up at the some discount monster of the day market. The work ethic of these millennial Guado chucklefucks is appalling.




Music: Enemy Attack




Meet “Defender X”. Good grief, even the name is the most half-assed generic garbage. Defender X is a big lousy rock golem with 64,000 HP and resistance to physical attacks because he's made out of frikkin' stone!





Being a massive stone dude, he quite literally hits like a pile of bricks. What with the fists made out of a pile of bricks. Two attacks is enough to KO anyone in our party. One critical could do the job too.



If that's not enough, he also has a Haymaker attack – which isn't actually a haymaker. He's balling both his fists together and doing an overhead strike. But details. As it turns out, two brick shithouse fists crashing into a human body is quite a bit more damaging than just one, and the Haymaker is a near guaranteed one-hit dirtnap for our party seeing as it does 3500+ HP of damage on the light side of it hitting.





On top of all that, Longshoreman Defender X can launch his fists like a projectile, halving the target's total HP. Not sure how a boulder in the shape of a fist being launched like a rocket does exactly 50% damage. But I'm not asking too many questions with this dirtbag. Defender X will counter attack with Blast Punch against physical attacks. So that's fun.





Once Defender X drops down to 10,000 HP it begins casting Mighty Guard (Protect, Shell, NulAll) every turn it gets. And that's just rude and annoying. Like most of this fight, since you can easily get into a loop of having to revive folks just to have this filler boss knock them out again. So, let's just do a big ol' AI weakness right off the bat.







We haven't ever messed with it, but Tidus has the Provoke ability which will make him strike a sassy pose. This arrogant slight will utterly piss off this pile of rocks causing it to do nothing but attack Tidus.



But in Defender X's case, it will just start using Blast Punch and halving Tidus' HP every turn. Provoke will make it stop counter-attacking, not bother with Mighty Guard at low HP, and turn the fight into a joke. The rest of the battle just consists of a rock rocket-punching Tidus in the face.



After it's provoked, Tidus is free to get everyone on the Haste train while tanking rocket punches. Auron in particular can use the boost...







Auron can go ahead and use Mental and Armor Break to make its physical attack resistance more reasonable for our heavy hitters and Lulu's black magic even more potent.





Which is nice, because I just reached Lulu's third tier magic spell Waterga with the rest coming shortly on her Sphere Grid. That's a good 3500ish damage a round for Lulu.





And of course there is always the nuclear option of having Trogdor roll out with Megaflare for an easy 11,000+ HP to move this waste of time boss along even quicker.







In any case, that's a wrap for good ol' Defender X. You can go ahead and purge any memory of this boss even existing from your collective memories now.

Music ends...





Welp, that was quite the annoying toll just to cross a bridge. Give me a good old fashioned troll toll any day of the week. Past the first bridge is another one that spells the end of the Calm Lands and the beginning of Mount Gagazet. However... there is another path to the right of the secondary bridge...





"Wow, you know your way around, ya?"
“...” *walks off*
*looks confused and rubs neck*





Well, my video game explore senses tell me we ought to go check out that valley. If there are lightning breathing drakes down there though, we're turning right the hell back.



Welcome to the bottom of the gorge. Over to the left is where we want to go. But first, there is one area of interest over to the right.



A couple Crusaders are hanging out down here training. They're a bit bummed out their ranks have dwindled ever since the whole Sin disintegrating 95% of unnamed red shirts in their army. Good luck rebuilding guys. Don't expect to ever have any further relevance in this game, though.



Discarded between a pair of boulders in the back of this area is a Rusty Sword! This item is actually the first step in obtaining Auron's Ultimate Weapon. It's useless as it stands. So we'll just remember we obtained it and toss it into the End Game chapter's ever expanding pile of woe.



Doubling back to the gorge bottom's opening, we find the final optional area of the Calm Lands. Don't expect the rest of the journey to be riddled with side areas like this region. It's back to walking down a scenic corridor from here to Zanarkand.

...This game really is proto-Final Fantasy XIII level design wise. Right down to the one big open field segment with a bunch of optional poo poo 3/4ths of the way.





"The fayth is inside. As are the fiends."
"Hey. This where...?"



"The summoner I guarded on my first pilgrimage... died here.”



”Ah... geez.”
“...Oh boy.”
“Had to poke around down here...”
“Sorry. Not my fault everyone in Spira waits until we're all a foot into the middle of something to mention anything heavy.”
“...That's fair”






Tune in next time for the Pilgrimage Pals and the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth!



I can tell Lulu is really looking forward to it.






Video: Episode 85 Highlight Reel






Early Calm Lands Concept Art



Cavern of the Stolen Fayth Entrance Concept Art

The Dark Id fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Dec 17, 2015

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
Prishe from FFXI is a cool elf, I think.

Then again, everyone in that game apparently hates her until the end of her story, so maybe no one really is ever happy to see elves. :shrug:

The Dark Id posted:

“I warn you, the maester doesn't need you alive."

But he does. He even said that he needed Yuna to take him to Zanarkand!

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

W.T. Fits posted:

I think the biggest question Belgemine being Unsent raises for me is what happened to her Guardians? Did they also become Unsent? Did they devolve into fiends? Did she somehow Send them despite being Unsent herself? Did she even have Guardians to begin with? Maybe she failed at her pilgrimage because she was attempting a solo run. :iiam:

Maybe her guardians died before she did so she sent them but then she died because they weren't around to protect her.

DeafNote
Jun 4, 2014

Only Happy When It Rains
Yup
That sure was a scene&boss I forgot ever existed

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
I remembered the boss, but I forgot about the Guado showing up. That whole fight was completely unnecessary and boring. Maybe it was originally meant to be in Bevelle or something.

Anyway, yeah, it's time to get more backstory on Lulu after about 85% of the game. :v:

On a more positive note, I do like how some of the previous High Summoners tie into characters' Ultimate Weapons. Auron needs Lady Yocun's sword to get his best weapon, for instance.

Trojan Kaiju
Feb 13, 2012


Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Prishe from FFXI is a cool elf, I think.

Then again, everyone in that game apparently hates her until the end of her story, so maybe no one really is ever happy to see elves. :shrug:


But he does. He even said that he needed Yuna to take him to Zanarkand!

It's a little weird because Belgemine confirms that unsent can summon, so he probably doesn't need Yuna to be entirely living. This does beg the question why don't any of the high summoners appear as unsent.

Bufuman
Jun 15, 2013

Sleep in the briefing room.
At your own peril.

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Anyway, yeah, it's time to get more backstory on Lulu after about 85% of the game. :v:

Not to mention that this whole bit is about 50% of her backstory to boot. The rest is 25% "Grew up with Wakka and Yuna" and 25% "Used to bone Wakka's brother".

Truly, a deep and storied character, that Lulu.

Jetrauben
Sep 7, 2011
angered the evil eye lately

Trojan Kaiju posted:

It's a little weird because Belgemine confirms that unsent can summon, so he probably doesn't need Yuna to be entirely living. This does beg the question why don't any of the high summoners appear as unsent.

Presumably because most of them died relatively content with their end.

Trojan Kaiju
Feb 13, 2012


Jetrauben posted:

Presumably because most of them died relatively content with their end.

I'm surprised at least one didn't stick around to see if Sin stayed down this time or something. A big part of the continued pilgrimages is hoping that it does.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
That's why Yunalesca's still around, Kaiju.

Bufuman posted:

Not to mention that this whole bit is about 50% of her backstory to boot. The rest is 25% "Grew up with Wakka and Yuna" and 25% "Used to bone Wakka's brother".

Truly, a deep and storied character, that Lulu.

The weird thing is that Lulu's Ultimania information states that part of her desire to accompany Yuna on a pilgrimage is to actually finish one that goes past the Calm Lands, for herself and her Summoner.

So, it's kind of weird, but even though Yuna's going to die, Lulu wants to complete the pilgrimage just so she can say that she did. Which sounds really awful, when you think about it.

VagueRant
May 24, 2012
Reeeeeeeally wish I knew about those strategies when I was but a boy. Defender X was the biggest roadblock since Evrae and made me outright give up on the game for like eight years.

Deep Dish Fuckfest
Sep 6, 2006

Advanced
Computer Touching


Toilet Rascal

The Dark Id posted:

Episode LXXXV: My Monster of the Day




Where the hell are Lulu's legs in this image?

Kavak
Aug 23, 2009


YeOldeButchere posted:

Where the hell are Lulu's legs in this image?

I thought it was already established that it's belts all the way down.

GrizzlyCow
May 30, 2011

Sordas Volantyr posted:

You know how in the FFXIII trilogy, buffing and debuffing is absolutely essential to survive? They cribbed that from SMT.

You know how FFXIII gives you a game over if the main character dies? They cribbed that from SMT, too.

You wanna know what they didn't crib from SMT? Instant death attacks that actually work, theivey-type enemies that can lift hundreds of thousands of dollars off of you when backtracking because their money-stealing attack is percentage-based, and bonus bosses that not only do not require full status immunity, but outright requires that you be asleep and have an otherwise completely useless passive equipped to survive past a certain point.

Tell us how you really feel.



I've played a few SMT games. I guess I just need to play Nocturne (and SMT4?) to appreciate their difficulty.


YeOldeButchere posted:

Where the hell are Lulu's legs in this image?

Behind the belts.

HR12345
Nov 19, 2012

VagueRant posted:

Reeeeeeeally wish I knew about those strategies when I was but a boy. Defender X was the biggest roadblock since Evrae and made me outright give up on the game for like eight years.

Yeah, I think I gave up on FFX the first time around there, too. Was this guy a That One Boss to anyone else?

bewilderment
Nov 22, 2007
man what



HR12345 posted:

Yeah, I think I gave up on FFX the first time around there, too. Was this guy a That One Boss to anyone else?

Not really since that Split Infinity guy on GameFAQs seems destined to have a giant insanely detailed walkthrough within a week of the game popping up.
Even with Defender X you can go "oh, I guess I should actually have Yuna cast Protect" or "I should try having Wakka use Dark Attack".

The biggest That One (mandatory) Boss in the game is yet to come.

Kheldarn
Feb 17, 2011



HR12345 posted:

Yeah, I think I gave up on FFX the first time around there, too. Was this guy a That One Boss to anyone else?

Nope. Nothing made me quit this game. No Boss. Not Blitzball. Or Chocobo Racing. Or Lightning Dodge. Or other upcoming stuff.

Manic_Misanthrope
Jul 1, 2010


I remember him being somewhat of a pain, but I guess I got lucky with mixes to keep me in the game.

DeafNote
Jun 4, 2014

Only Happy When It Rains
Yeah I never had That One Boss until the last Boss
But I can think of 2 PlotBosses that give people headaches, the 2nd and 5th one after this

Arsonist Daria
Feb 27, 2011

Requiescat in pace.
It almost feels like Defender X is a stand-in for another Seymour fight they didn't feel like programming.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Lumberjack Bonanza posted:

It almost feels like Defender X is a stand-in for another Seymour fight they didn't feel like programming.

I think it's more "Didn't we just fight Seymour? And aren't we going to fight him on Gagazet?"

Accordion Man
Nov 7, 2012


Buglord
I'm so glad I never played 10, it just looks so boring. And even if I ever did now I'd just be like "I could be playing Shadow Hearts: Covenant instead." and I would just do that.

Covenant did endgame sidequests right.

Accordion Man fucked around with this message at 00:15 on Dec 14, 2015

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Ah yes, this dungeon :toot: for some reason I kept thinking we were supposed to run into it earlier. I have a special place of hatred in my heart for the monsters in this one.
I already have a name picked out to vote for the Fayth here, too!

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Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


Gagazet is where this game gets serious. The random encounters start to get tough and if you haven't been grinding the game really forces you to do so or it kicks your rear end.

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