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claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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Geostomp posted:

The one non-Sazh related thing I like about XIII was the summons. They were completely stupid and used properly in maybe two scenes, but I did like seeing Transformers fighting monsters.

Yeah, they actually felt pretty thematically fun as a whole, and one of the few unambiguously good things in XIII vanilla.

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claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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Bufuman posted:

There's really nothing that can be added to it to make it better.
Clearly you have not played either game (they are both much better games tonally and from a gameplay perspective).

Bufuman posted:

I'm fairly certain that the only reason those sequels got made in the first place was because they were planned from the beginning by that one developer that came up in the Drakengard 3 thread, the one that's basically in love with Lightning.

That one's outright false, they've even said on record XIII-2 only happened because XIII was such a trainwreck they had enough cut/leftover assets that they could easily make an entirely new game out of it. And did.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
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Aurain posted:

XIII-2's ending owns sorry.

100%. It's not even like it isn't foreshadowed. Very hard.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

Air is lava! posted:

If any given story or medium contains elves, they are the worst race. That's like an universal constant. I can't think of a single counter example.

Dark Sun. They're black market profiteers and vagrants in a hosed up magical Mad Max earth. More than a few have been known to be cannibalistic because it's just easier than hunting something on that hosed up devil-world.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

Burger Flipper posted:

I know I'm in the minority here, but I actually did sort of like The Spirits Within for what it was. Good? Nah. But I still enjoyed it.

Same. By the end I think I was just going "This turned into a weird FF6 fanfic" in the theater.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
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JESUS TURN IT OFF
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FFX's world is full of absolute doofus villains, though. X-2 has a concert pianist who wants to be the Joker.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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JESUS TURN IT OFF
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DeafNote posted:

And the less said about Revelations 2, the better

The hell is wrong with you? That game is great for extending the Burton family.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
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JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

The Dark Id posted:

Tune in next time for the most ridiculous wedding crashing in any RPG I've seen. It's great! And really dumb!

The only non-boss scene I remember from this game (and for drat good reason).

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
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Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Surprisingly, Lulu seems to be taking this all in stride.

...You're surprised that the lone goth in Spira is cool with someone explicitly confirming "the world sucks and is a nihilistic cycle of death"? Her name is basically "END ME SIN"

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
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JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

GeneralYeti posted:

Which was my favorite part of that game, where it acknowledges that we have these options but they won't work. It's surprisingly effective as a storytelling device.

I never really liked FFIV, but the fact that it'd let you open the menu and try ANYTHING YOU WANTED to bring back Palom/Porom was a good touch.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING
The good guides are artbooks that double as some stat listings and maps, these days. They realize you can just go online if a boss is a roadblock so it aims for a nice layout and then extras for collector mooks like me.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
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Trasson posted:

Overdrive nothing. The real strength of Bahamut lies in Yuna hitting the gym.

I did not realize that Yuna was Jennifer Walters, but that's a hilarious mechanical cheat they came up with.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
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JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING
A lot of guides are based off test builds, to come out near the final release. Very rarely they'll be played on an import copy (with JRPGs) but the thing you need to look for is who wrote the guide, there'll be a credit inside. Multiple people are employed by every company, and some are more thorough or detail-oriented than others, some game companies are more forthcoming with materials/assist in the process, and some guide companies have very good relationships with the creators to get fact-checking. These days, though, especially on some titles*, the guide is farmwork or just a list of stats and dev team interviews.

I totally haven't known people who do this for some side cash, why do you ask.

* sports games

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
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JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

Speedball posted:

Which is really weird because Dirge of Cerberus was going to be, like, the Revengeance of the Final Fantasies. Only Platinum didn't exist at the time, so...

It's cool, we got Lightning Returns, which really is the crazy over the top action game FF spinoff. It fits a lot better than you realize.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
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JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

Bufuman posted:

(from what I hear about XIII-2, he doesn't even show up at all until near the end).

Sort of. He got his own DLC, which goes "where was Sazh", gives you a really fun minigame, and has him basically gambling with time and space to save Dazh.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING
I am honestly amazed a lot more of this world isn't consumed in alcoholism.

Maybe stills are a forbidden device or something.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
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The Dark Id posted:

All superbosses in JRPGs are universally poo poo. :colbert:

I kind of want to disagree but I'm mostly thinking of the sheer cheesiness of the bigass Dark Erde Kaiser fight in Xenosaga. It was hammy as hell and while it was mildly tedious I never had any "WELL YOU WIPED" poo poo, just "keep healed". There's a sidequest to help an old man rebuild what is basically Gundam parts and then at the end of the trilogy it turns out he has some kind of evil rival in a black labcoat who was making the evil version and you battle it. And it goes full 50s sci-fi.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING
I won't go into mechanics because this fight hasn't really happened yet, but as someone who got this game from a pal with a Gameshark (meaning my save somehow had all primers and a full sphere grid from minute 1), this is literally the only fight I got stuck on. gently caress this encounter.

It took me almost 2 hours to kill the pair of them.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

Death Zebra posted:

I activated every node on the sphere grid with Kimahri

This was it, fellow poor bastard.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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i'm bleeding
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Looper posted:

woah now hold up, it's a wonderful life is like the only good christmas movie

Scrooged would beg to differ.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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i'm bleeding
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Malachite_Dragon posted:

Those missiles look a bit more like bits/funnels from Gundam, actually. Of course Seymour is a Newtype. Of course he is. :tinfoil:

I don't like the implication that we all slept with trees in space to evolve as a species.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
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Malachite_Dragon posted:

If I wanted to play an entire game under a time limit, I'd play Ocarina of Time. Or the original Prince of Persia.

If you call what Lightning Returns has a "time limit", you clearly have not played the game. Only the worst players will ever run into actual clock troubles.

(The fact that you do not know that it is a secret Amazing Dress Up Combat Game also says you haven't tried it. Best thing S-E Japan has put on PC yet.)

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING
I just think this will make people in here laugh while we're on the derail train.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLNXM_9u1G8

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
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I don't know if y'all had bad codes or whatever but I sure as poo poo got an Action Replay to activate the superweapons.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
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Malachite_Dragon posted:

I haven't tested this against that giant fish Tidus ran into at the sunken temple before meeting Rikku, but I always suspected it would do the same thing.

I have. It runs the between-battle cutscenes every time and keeps railroading. Since your tutorial isn't done yet it doesn't think it needs to run the "end battle" script and it just goes "condition met? Move on".

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
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JESUS TURN IT OFF
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I'm in.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

Lumberjack Bonanza posted:

On the bright side, you're so close to an eternal FFX vacation.

Dude, didn't you learn anything? Death is no escape where FFX is concerned. That's the entire point.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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JESUS TURN IT OFF
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Lumberjack Bonanza posted:

Even Scooby Doo cannot save us.

Why do you think I keep posting

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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Lumberjack Bonanza posted:

No joke though sometimes I think of Shaggy saying your goddamn username and just start giggling and I can't loving explain it to anyone because it's insane.

This entire name change/avatar combo came out of the single best move in a game of Quiplash ever. The whole rest of the game was just impressions around the room.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
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VagueRant posted:

On a tangential note of games with ridiculous plot devicey items that make no logical sense, I read something about Chrono Cross that terrified me today. I can't think of a better place to ask this, but is it true that the massive info dump at the end of the game that explains the entire plot...wasn't in the Japanese version? :stonk:

What? No, that would be dumb as hell, who told you that?

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
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JESUS TURN IT OFF
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Looper posted:

if you like resident evil at all you should give revelations a shot

I dunno how 1 compares, its on my backlog, but RE:Rev2 was solid enough it got me to blind-buy into the series for the first time in 2015. Went from that to RE 4, 5, and currently 6 based on a sale on Steam. Fun games! Feel like I've been missing out.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

pinch pinch scrape pinch
ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING
Dark Sun's elves are speedy cannibalistic motherfuckers who you might also be able to bribe into carrying a message for you across the hellish wastes of a dead planet. They rule.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
i'm bleeding
JESUS TURN IT OFF
WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING

The Dark Id posted:

Here's the map for round two. Both makes are courtesy of the Final Fantasy X Ultimania Omega aka the giant Japanese guidebook these colossal shitpiles of obscure time sinks and arcane bullshit exist to sell. Was there just never a Japanese GameFAQs?

Serious answer*: while there were guidebooks in Japan, I don't think it was ever to the degree of the Prima/Brady/that also-ran I forgot the name of trinity we had over in the US. The other things to remember are that the Perfect Works/Ultimania series of guides were effectively (and eventually, officially) first-party Square/Square-Enix joints with a lot of art book, interview, and extra content for collectors. I'm unsure if, Ultimania aside, many guides are still a thing over there, but a new trend, especially for JRPGs, is collaborative discovery via wiki. The huge problem with this is that they're usually fan-made, so if a game doesn't become a series, its a total crap shoot how long the archive is going to exist online.

But the short version: no, there never really was a game walkthrough/info hub like Game FAQs that I ran across, and it makes playing some older titles a bitch unless I want to try asking someone to look for a retro guide overseas that may or may not exist, or hoping a fan page is still around with hints.

* keep in mind I'm not a scholar and some of this is from old episodes of Retronauts and a history of importing JRPGs, not living overseas

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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W.T. Fits posted:

Rikku gets the Masamune in X-2, actually.

So what you're saying is she appeared in the above cutscene just to go "When you're gone, this is mine, old man"?

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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Speedball posted:

X-2 had the dumbest excuse for a plot but I'll die on the hill defending that its gameplay was fun.

I'm with this guy. I don't know if I'd say best in series, but it's top tier hands-down.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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Kemix posted:

Bitch, you're forgetting Mr. Blastoise. AKA: What happens when a turtle fucks a tank.

Attaboy, someone knows the score.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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ow ow fuck it's caught
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JESUS TURN IT OFF
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Man. This is just making me aware of how I totally forgot everything after Yunalesca.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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Fabulousvillain posted:

This is the fight that took my dad maybe an hour and a half because of Gameshark buffing Aeon stats.

I'll one-up that: if you, say, get the Magus Sisters but don't get Yojimbo (which is impossible without Gameshark giving you the right items)?

This fight never ends.

It knows "Ah, you need to kill Yojimbo too" but he doesn't exist in your roster/have any stats, so the Magus Sisters just never get crossed off the list.

claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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Vil posted:

Er, you sure about that? If you're missing aeons they're just not listed in the first place. And getting Magus Sisters only requires up to Bahamut for Belgemine's item, and capturing everything in Gagazet for the other item. Anima, Yojimbo, and Magus Sisters are all completely independent of each other.

All I know is that when I added Yojimbo on a reload the game let me finish it, so I've always assumed that was why the Magus trio kept reviving infinitely.

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claw game handjob
Mar 27, 2007

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cmykjester posted:

Isn't it pretty much confirmed that Square-Enix had no idea what the gently caress they were doing with XIII until they promised a demo with some game and had to finally put something together instead of just just generating assets for years.
That was indeed a confirmed story. The demo included with... I think it was Advent Children: Some Edition Or Other on Blu-ray was the first thing that made them lock down actual gameplay rather than cutscenes and designs.

Bufuman posted:

On that note, are XIII-2 and LR even worth playing? I moderately enjoyed XIII itself but somehow never got around to the other two and I've been wondering if I should fix that (wait, have I asked this before? I might have but I can't remember).
They totally are. Story becomes less of thing in XIII-2 on, and LR is fun as all hell with a side of "your protagonist is channeling this video every time a sidequest comes up":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-egGn5WYrk

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