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look at this. i did this, this planet, this Earth, it's magnificent. beautiful. perfect. ...too perfect. *god's eye searches frantically and settles upon a slug resting next to two round rocks* omg yesssss, yeah boy. boy....
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Oct 2, 2015 13:36
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god: *makes pogs* yes! god: *makes pokemon* yes! god: *makes magic the gathering* yes! god: *makes mighty beanz* what have i done... |
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Oct 2, 2015 13:41
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God, 5000 years ago: you know, these dinosaurs are cool and all, but this is getting boring.... *throws rocks at the earth* |
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Oct 2, 2015 14:01
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god: *picks belly button and chortles* *makes people who just talk about how much fire sauce they like on everything they eat* |
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Oct 2, 2015 14:04
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guts. miles and miles of them, all curled around each other, layered, unending. and inside? *god sweating, pulling on collar* bugs. millions of tiny, tiny bugs, scurrying around, eating, feasting. *growing more excited, panting* and at the end? gut cancer. cancer of the guts. tumors. filled with spiders, and worms, and smoke, and garbage, puss, the queen, capitali- *g-men from hell put a straightjacket on god and haul them away to the funny farm*
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Oct 2, 2015 14:33
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Lucifer, sighing, breads His tofu wings
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Oct 2, 2015 14:40
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Qwerinty posted:guts. miles and miles of them, all curled around each other, layered, unending. and inside? *god sweating, pulling on collar* bugs. millions of tiny, tiny bugs, scurrying around, eating, feasting. *growing more excited, panting* and at the end? gut cancer. cancer of the guts. tumors. filled with spiders, and worms, and smoke, and garbage, puss, the queen, capitali- *g-men from hell put a straightjacket on god and haul them away to the funny farm* this but where god is doing the things from the vince mcmahon gif |
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Oct 2, 2015 14:55
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god in person workshop: almost done with this new guy heh heh *tokes on a big j and passes it to an angel* angel: i totally had this wicked twisted idea like...haha no you couldn't god: loving tell me jfc dude angel: what if you, like, made this guy really lovely and like, hate those chosen people you have a promise to protect? that'd be hilarious. god: oh holy poo poo haha yeah paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Oct 2, 2015 16:00
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god: ok, four arms is enough, I'll call it a quadropus. *reaches over to put tool away and knocks over arm container* ugh goddamnit
paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Oct 2, 2015 16:03
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god: dude check this out *holds lamprey up to angel's face* angel: oh god gently caress what is that thing? eww god: yeah it's pretty gnarly eh *holds it up to angel's face again* angel: ah gross, stop *god paused for a second, then does it again, snickering quietly* angel: stop. please. paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Oct 2, 2015 16:06
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lolsocial vegan posted:god: hey check this out *makes a horse* Qwerinty posted:guts. miles and miles of them, all curled around each other, layered, unending. and inside? *god sweating, pulling on collar* bugs. millions of tiny, tiny bugs, scurrying around, eating, feasting. *growing more excited, panting* and at the end? gut cancer. cancer of the guts. tumors. filled with spiders, and worms, and smoke, and garbage, puss, the queen, capitali- *g-men from hell put a straightjacket on god and haul them away to the funny farm* lol
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Oct 2, 2015 17:40
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moses: if any man among you becomes unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he shall go outside the camp. He shall not come inside the camp, but when evening comes, he shall bathe himself in water, and as the sun sets, he may come inside the camp. god: let's not get carried away here moses: you shall have a place outside the camp, and you shall go out to it. And you shall have a trowel with your tools, and when you sit down outside, you shall dig a hole with it and turn back and cover up your excrement. god: uh no wait-- moses: because the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and to give up your enemies before you, therefore your camp must be holy, so that he may not see anything indecent among you and turn away from you god: you will Never leave this desert
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Oct 2, 2015 18:12
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ron color posted:moses: if any man among you becomes unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he shall go outside the camp. He shall not come inside the camp, but when evening comes, he shall bathe himself in water, and as the sun sets, he may come inside the camp. haha paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Oct 2, 2015 18:20
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God studies Mars with a puzzled look on his face, stroking his beard. God: Mars...Mars....hmmmmmm... Oh! I got it! I'll put water on it after all but make it super salty! Lol no ones going to want to drink that! :p |
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Oct 2, 2015 18:46
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ol |
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Oct 2, 2015 19:49
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mary: jesus it's dinner time jesus: *quickly closes google earth* ok mom i'll be there in a minute |
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Oct 2, 2015 19:52
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God: holy gently caress put that down what are you doing angel: I'm just tidying up these leathery old scraps God: don't throw those away! do you have any idea how long those took to make? angel: what? oh! oh my god I'm sorry these are elbows aren't they! haha my bad God but look no harm no foul I'm just going to set them here see? no bigs everything's cool God, rolling eyes: elbows were yesterday. today it's nothing but nipples
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Oct 2, 2015 19:59
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Android Blues posted:god: you know how we have this perfected human form, all one contiguous thing, whole and perfect, animated by its own will alone ron color posted:moses: if any man among you becomes unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he shall go outside the camp. He shall not come inside the camp, but when evening comes, he shall bathe himself in water, and as the sun sets, he may come inside the camp. |
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Oct 2, 2015 20:21
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gross, lord. |
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Oct 2, 2015 20:42
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God flicking a boogie to Earth, creating The Most Disgusting Mountain.
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Oct 2, 2015 21:18
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God: *makes elves and wizards* God: eugh no God: *replaces them with people obsessed with elves and wizards* God: ugh, I'll fix this later |
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Oct 2, 2015 21:39
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lol
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Oct 2, 2015 22:41
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social vegan posted:God: *makes elves and wizards* Haha |
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Oct 2, 2015 22:52
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ron color posted:moses: if any man among you becomes unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he shall go outside the camp. He shall not come inside the camp, but when evening comes, he shall bathe himself in water, and as the sun sets, he may come inside the camp. social vegan posted:God: *makes elves and wizards* ---------------- |
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Oct 3, 2015 03:44
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Angel: God, everyone loves your dinosaurs! the Triassic, the Jurassic! And then you managed to top even that with the Cretaceous! you knocked it out of the park! Everyone can hardly wait to see what you're going to do next! God: man, I don't want to be known for just dinosaurs. I'm so much more than that. I've been working on something new, trying to take things in a new direction. check this out *shows sketches of gross little warm-bodied things covered in fur* Angel: er... Murray Mantoinette fucked around with this message at 04:02 on Oct 3, 2015 |
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Oct 3, 2015 03:59
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Angel: Hey Lord, how's it going? God: Pretty good! I revealed myself to select groups of humans and they worship me with all their being as the eternal creator and ruler of the universe! Angel: Wow, that's cool. Can I see them? *God, glancing nervously down at Earth* Uhh....    God: Maybe later... |
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Oct 3, 2015 04:22
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god: dangit james, get over here king james: yes father? god: here put on these headphones. i'm not going to listen to these prayers anymore with your made up silly words like "believeth" and "thine" and crap. you can deal with this, i have new species to design king james: ut-bay ather-fay, i- god: yes, you're hilarious. smartass *walks out, slams the door* |
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Oct 3, 2015 04:22
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God: ...so I figured they can absorb the essence of other beings for sustenance like we do! Angel: Ok, but... they're not astral beings, Lord, I don't see how they're going to partake of the luminous--- *God points to hole in the front of the face* Angel: Okaaaaayyyy? God: They just shove other beings right into this hole and instead of the Manipura chakra from whence flows our life energy, they got this squishy sack that melts stuff and turns it into this slurry that they absorb. Angel: Jesus Christ. |
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Oct 3, 2015 04:33
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god: *helps anderson silva punch harder* god: heck ya! god: *guides football into wide receiver's hand* god: hoo boy you know it! god: *creates windshield reflector that looks like sunglasses to prevent car from heating up in the sun* god: I am the loving man |
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Oct 3, 2015 04:33
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Lil Cunty posted:God: holy gently caress put that down what are you doing
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Oct 3, 2015 04:51
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lucifer: im still going to get more people to look at balls than u, god *inspires the brazzers dude* god: yeah well, whats the most godly thing besides capitalism? lucifer: you jerk, why can't you play fair for once god: hahaha, yeah that's right, it's pickup trucks *inspires the truck nuts guy* |
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Oct 3, 2015 04:57
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social vegan posted:God: *makes elves and wizards* ...oh |
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Oct 3, 2015 06:57
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