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Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

The Ambush

Following the tracks of the sheepeater is not difficult but it is surprising.
It does not seem to walk so much as leap, here and there shedding feathers, here and there sharpening its claws.



Sometimes the tracks disappear altogether but by that point your team has picked up enough about its path that you correctly surmise the direction it was heading when it did, and are able to pick up the trail a while later.

With you on your journey to the nest you have brought your horses, one of them carrying some extremely well secured saddlebags. In these, surrounded by cloth an hay lies one of your six precious bottles of 'FOOF',
the awe inspiring explosive chemical that your new gnome friend gave you from his storage. You aren't really sure what to do with it yet, perhaps use it as an ingredient for a trap?
Yet you took it with you for, well, not to be safe, because 'FOOF' is never safe, but perhaps not to be sorry?

Horses are by their very nature frightened creatures, and this one seems especially skittish today, as if it knows that something is up.





Here and there Skvababt informs of animal life in your surroundings, but your number-addled mind cannot see them as she can.
To you, the trees here are just lumber waiting to be transported to the fires of industry. The wind in the canopy merely the rustling of paperwork as yet to be made.





After following the tracks for a few hours they become more frequent, and start diverging. You must be getting closer?
But again with the aid of your team you are able to deduce which ones are 'away' and which ones are 'back home' so to speak.





The forest is pretty open, all things considered, even if the terrain is rough. Between the birdsong and the animal noises, it almost feels cosy.



Yet you can't shake the feeling that you are being watched.



No, it's nothing. You are confident in the ability of your team of seven strong fighters, riding high on a series of nearly flawless victories in the face of doom that all monsters pose to the world at large.
So you make your way deeper in the forest, following the soft incline upwards and onwards.


After yet another hour of tracking you can be pretty sure you are in the right spot, as a cave looms further ahead at the base of the mountain you have been slowly ascending.



Your journey has tired you, but you have a game plan and a contract. You order your men to start scouting the area, looking for a good place to prepare your trap,
gathering firewood for the inevitable fire and looking for thick branches that you could easily sharpen for stakes.
You yourself are keen to start digging the pit, somewhere nearby but not too close, for the creature to fall into once you have lured it out.

You even manage to take a few, cursory shovelfuls before a loud whinny and a sickening crunch alerts you to the goings on behind you.



Oh. Oh dear. And you were doing so well.






distances on the map may be further apart then they appear; expect a bit of travel time for everyone on the edges to get closer to where you are

1:
Spread out and unprepared, you have been cornered by a angry Owlbear outside of its lair. It looks pretty upset at you, and roars in defiance.
Your horses are either dead (rip) or running away.

You have precious few seconds to act.

What do you do?

Swedish Thaumocracy fucked around with this message at Nov 28, 2015 around 01:14

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Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Hmm the plan to sneak up on a monster after we were rather explicitly told it would be near impossible to sneak up on has ended predictably.

Have our archers shoot it, tell Khami to distract it with the chain, tell melee fighters to close in, adopt defensive stance.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Is it eating the Phoof horse? If so GTFo and let it enjoy it's supper.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Outrail posted:

Is it eating the Phoof horse?

You can't tell from this distance. It rendered one of the horses asunder and the rest bolted.
From what little you know of predators like this, it won't stop to eat until all intruders are dealt with.

Ms. Happiness
Aug 26, 2009



What is the range of a Phoof explosion?

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Ms. Happiness posted:

What is the range of a Phoof explosion?

Considerable. You have never seen it in action, but there is a very good reason most alchemist shops are made out of calcified slime rather than stone or precious wood.
That reason is; they have all exploded. Violently. Recently.

The 'Gnomish Ghetto' as can be found in many of the worlds larger cities is not because of fantasy-racism so much as Health and Safety regulations and the NIMBY factors of having an explosion factory next to the local school.

The Gnome you got it from handled it almost reverently, spewed weird facts that even your arithmetic mind could hardly keep up with. Suffice it to say don't be anywhere near it when it goes off.

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN


Wait wait wait....

We had a Strange Mood? Did we make anything?

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Escape! Circle around and try and get the phoof horse, get the artillery ready to roll

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Since this thing can fly, the best place to fight it would be inside the cave. Everyone go into the cave and melee it to death.

Ms. Happiness
Aug 26, 2009



Make everyone go inside the cave for safety, then throw a Phoof vial at the owlbear and hope for the best.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.

Attempt to steal owlbear eggs

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Ms. Happiness posted:

Make everyone go inside the cave for safety, then throw a Phoof vial at the owlbear and hope for the best.

New info in IRC states owlbears mate for life. Do not go into the cave.

paper bag with a face
Jun 2, 2007
Fighting poverty...one bum at a time.

IRC posted:

<Roland> Are owlbears known to be pack or solitary type creatures
<Thaumocrates> We can probably assume Kvelar told you about this in his spiel
<Thaumocrates> Not packs but pairs
<Thaumocrates> they mate for life

Do not go into the cave!

Theantero posted:

Hmm the plan to sneak up on a monster after we were rather explicitly told it would be near impossible to sneak up on has ended predictably.

Have our archers shoot it, tell Khami to distract it with the chain, tell melee fighters to close in, adopt defensive stance.

Votin' this.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Question from IRC

quote:

Roland "Are owlbears known to be pack or solitary type creatures?"

We shall assume Kvelar mentioned this during his spiel, because now is not the right time to ask such questions.
Owlbears come in pairs, not packs. They mate for life.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


So we take one of them hostage.....

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Ambush Predator

The Owlbear rears on it's hindlegs, giving of a challenging roar to the encroachers of its rightful territory.
You respond by yelling a quick series of commands, hoping against hope that your company not only hears you but also has the presence of mind to do what you say.

You consider briefly running into the cave, but am reminded about Kvelars words from earlier, whilst on the trail of your quarry. “Owlbears come in pairs y'see, they mate for life.”

You give the order to charge, to engage. A tiny glimmer of hope erupts in your cerebral cortex as you realize that your spread-out nature is actually a pretty good flanking trap.
If only that meant you didn't have to engage a huge bear in meleé with a shovel you might even be somewhat optimistic.

Johakim dives for cover in your hastily dug pit, scrambling to put together any sort of weaponry to defend himself or perhaps looking for some way to escape.

Tommy, Kvelar and Khami all charge, after a second of reaching for their weapons.

Skvababt is swiftest of all to react, her bow always at the ready. In one motion she knocks an arrow, pulls taught the string (Yes, tighter. Mhm.) and lets go, sending death on a calcified stick towards the beast.

You ponder idly which horse has the bottle of Foof in its baggage, watching with some fascination as the arrow arcs in the air.
Wondering if somehow against all reason it would strike the saddlebag that might be stuck underneath a crushed horse, stuck underneath an angry owlbear,
thus releasing a cacophonous explosion of vile, biting acid and horrendous, baleful fire.




Instead the arrow merely strikes the creature in a wing and it turns to face, no, LEAP at opportunity to rectify this insult.




A look of fear briefly passes through the eyes of the lady frog as certain doom approaches her like the angry owlbear this metaphor is trying to describe.
Konnie doesn't look to thrilled either.



1:

You drop your shovel and ready your axe. All your other horses have run away but you think there is a good chance the dead one might be the one you where looking for anyway.
With the owlbear distracted, perhaps you could try getting at the horses saddlebags, or maybe you'd be better of charging in with the others?
Alternatively you could stay where you are and try coordinating, or even run away. Your next action is up to you.

A: Write-In. What do you do?

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003


Can we burn it?

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


How do we gauge our chances of killing this thing? If it's a nothing worse than moderate losses go for the bag and get our fooph bomb.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Tell frog to charm the owlbear, grab bomb and blow it

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

Can we burn it?

Can you burn a bear? Can you burn an owl? If so, you could probably burn an Owlbear as well.
If it would stay still whilst you apply oil and torch is another question entirely.

Outrail posted:

How do we gauge our chances of killing this thing? If it's a nothing worse than moderate losses go for the bag and get our fooph bomb.

If its just a bear with wings it shouldn't be that much harder to kill than a bear; is it though?
You outnumber it greatly, but it seems to be able to make giant leaps and also killed a horse in one fell swoop.
It's hard to say at this point in time.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003


I vote we throw oil on it, and burn it.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Spread out, keep baiting it towards people and harassing it from range. We outnumber it, lets tire it out trying to get it to attack the various members of our group. Get the FOOF if we can maneuver our way over there, but prioritize kiting it all over the place.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

dog kisser posted:

Spread out, keep baiting it towards people and harassing it from range. We outnumber it, lets tire it out trying to get it to attack the various members of our group. Get the FOOF if we can maneuver our way over there, but prioritize kiting it all over the place.

This seems like a smart plan. We do have ranged attackers on both of its flanks, after all.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Owlbear with me

The next few seconds happen in a flash, to chaotic to even make anything out but the aftermath.
The Owlbear lands in the underbrush, sending twigs, leaves and people flying. Moments later, Tommy arrives hefting his greatclub high in the air, taking a giant swing at the Owlbears midsection.
At almost point-blank, the giant creature is hard to miss and he scores a solid hit, making the creature reel back in pain.

You catch up to Kvelar and Khami as they charge, noticing again the hand-crossbow of Kvelar armed and at the ready and try to tell them to distract it by any means necessary,
to get it away from the physically weaker members of your group.

The monster turns to face Tommy, swiping at him with giant claws that find purchase in his leather armour,
tearing a great chunk out of it on his arms. At this range you can't see the extent of the damage, but Tommy staggers back from the blow,
doing his best to dodge an incoming beak snap that threatens to tear his head clean off.

You hear a shriek coming from the monsters general direction and see Konnie scramble to get away from it,
getting himself up from the ground and trying to get as far away from the Owlbear as possible in as short a time as can be reasonably managed.

Kvelar lets loose a bolt with precision accuracy, passing inches by the fighter to strike the monster in the upper torso, penetrating deeply.

The swipes keep coming, but they are noticeably more sluggish after the recent wounds and Tommy is able to dodge them admirably,
however facing the onslaught he finds no opening to get another crushing blow in on his opponent, almost tripping in his attempt at defence.

For your part, you dash for the downed horse and the allure of its saddlebags.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Skvababt raise her bow once more, not even bothering to take aim at this range and letting her arrow fly.
It strikes the Owlbear in the butt most grossly, disappearing beneath fur and flesh.

Roaring in pain, it keeps on trying to dismember Tommy with claws and beak, managing once more to strike him across the torso, ruining yet more of his armour.
At this point Tommy tries to disengage, fighting defensively in the hopes of reaching the safety of numbers that Khami and Kvelar might provide.

Given momentary respite, the Owlbear tries to take off for another leaping charge, but finds itself hampered by the wounds taken to it's chest and wing.
Two more arrows from different sources whirr past it and it stumbles, trying to rush into the oncoming assault for a pre-emptive counter attack.



Finally you reach the horse, madly digging through it's inventory to find your treasured FOOF. Miraculously, you do so.
It has a small crack in it which sends shivers up your spine far more than the Owlbear ever could, but the hairline fracture does not seem to have gone all the way through.
You take it gingerly in your hands, the adrenaline high slowing down time enough for you to ponder if these are indeed the last moments of your life.
Howling, hooting and roaring is heard from behind you, and the screams of men.



1:
In your hands you hold, without question, the most dangerous object you have ever held. And you used to be an accountant so that is saying something.
All your attention is focused on this one bottle, but what do you do with it now that you have it?

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Yeah okay no, at this point we'd probably cause more harm than good by chucking that thing in.

BATTLE PLAN:

Kvelar will go between Tommy and owlbear.

Tommy will go into hole and let Johakim perform first aid.

We will draw our axe and move to the owlbear's left front side, whilst Kvelar will stay on the right.

Khami will tie his chain around the owlbear's beak, leaving only the claws to be dealt with. It should not be able to disentagle a chainknot around its beak because the muscles that open jaws/beaks tend to be much, much weaker than the ones that close them. He can try tugging it around by the head to distract it, but the knot is the most important part. He will stay behind and between us and Kvelar.

Skvababt will continue shooting.

Konnie should try and sneak behind the owlbear, and try to cut the hamstrings from its rear feet to hinder mobility. It shouldn't be able to perform any sort of leaping attack without them.

A brilliant illustration:

Theantero fucked around with this message at Dec 5, 2015 around 12:46

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Lob the fooph behind the bear.

paper bag with a face
Jun 2, 2007
Fighting poverty...one bum at a time.

Theantero posted:

BATTLE PLAN:

Sounds like a solid plan to me!

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009


I vote for Theantero's plan, seems good to me! As long as another owlbear doesn't show up suddenly as I'm sure it will.

Just caught up - this is really entertaining.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

A Proper Hootenanny

On Second Thought, now is not the time for destruction of that magnitude, even if your inner pyromaniac voices loud his protest.
You put the bottle back in the pack and briefly contemplate the battle. Perhaps if Khamicould get his chain around the Owlbears beak, you could control it?
That way you and Kvelar could get your axe on. You nod to yourself, full of confidence, and yell your plan sprinting to join the fray.



Kvelar is first at the scene to give Tommy aid, ducking underneath a claw to fell the creature as if it were a tree.
The Owlbear parries with it's other wing, but the axe lodges firmly inside of it and it yelps in pain only to be further troubled by yet another arrow sticking it in the rear.



Disoriented, bleeding from several places and attacked from all sides, the monstrous woodland predator rears on it's hindlegs for an all out assault on whoever is closest,
but Khami takes this opportunity to wrap his chain around one of the claws, tugging swiftly to interrupt it's attack.
The Owlbears massive size prevents him from doing anything but annoy the beast though and when it starts counterpulling to drag Khami into its maw he is quick to disengage.



At this point, you have gotten into a flanking position on the opposite side of the beast from Kvelar and are in a good position to deliver some crippling blows to its back,
where it not for the constant barrage of arrows coming from behind you, Skvababts doing, that is making the meleé slightly more dangerous to engage.
Additionally, with you constantly in the way she is finding it more difficult than normal to get any good shots in. Perhaps something to consider later?



Tommy maintains a presence on the edge of the battle, if only to distract and present another pressing threat to the wounded strigiursinoform.



Its movement getting weaker and slower by the moment, it still presents a very imminent danger of disembowelment.
No matter the damage to its hide, the claws remain as sharp as ever. Kvelar gets to experience this firsthand as one of his dodges brings him back-first into an oncoming wallop.
Rolling away and coming to a stop at a nearby tree, he nonetheless gets back up to charge into battle.

Skvababt reloading and the creature occupied with Kvelar gives you the opportunity you've been waiting for and you jump at it's back,
attempting to put a decisive end to the fight via means of decapitation. Instead it is your efforts that are cut short,
as it once again rears in anger and in pain to madly swipe at whatever comes near it; only by dumb luck do you manage to hold on to it's feathery fur,
your shield dropping to the ground, becoming yet another obstacle for the creature to watch out for, lest it get an oochie on the paw.

Khami comes back with another attempt at chaining, and between the lot of you you finally have the beast under control.



With arrow, axe, chain and club you envelope, subdue and dispatch of the Owlbear in short order. Finally, the dust settles. You are victorious, but not without wounds.

Tommy is bleeding from one arm and Kvelars armour is mostly ruined. Your shield was slightly trampled but is still in working condition and Skvababt is out a bunch of arrows,
but seems otherwise unharmed.



To the east lies the cave opening, the lair of the now recently deceased alphapredator. You pant and you sweat, but is the battle truly over?



1:
What do you do?

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Ok, so:

PLAN:

Have Khami construct that chain FOOF sling we were talking about earlier, pointing it towards the cave.

Have Konnie sneak into the cave, since he is the quietest of us and probably also the most fleet of foot. If there is another owlbear there, he is to quickly run off, and then we will launch the FOOF into the cave.

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009


Or we could just lob FOOF into the cave and see what happens.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

hollylolly posted:

Or we could just lob FOOF into the cave and see what happens.

That might be safer, but consider this: If the cave is empty and we FOOF it, we both waste FOOF and might melt whatever loot any dead adventurers/peasants the owlbears have dragged there had with them.

Remember, we are also looking for that dead hunter and his death certificate, and as an accountant we probably know that it's against regulation to return documents bathed in highly toxic chemicals.

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009


Theantero posted:

That might be safer, but consider this: If the cave is empty and we FOOF it, we both waste FOOF and might melt whatever loot any dead adventurers/peasants the owlbears have dragged there had with them.

Remember, we are also looking for that dead hunter and his death certificate, and as an accountant we probably know that it's against regulation to return documents bathed in highly toxic chemicals.

Okay, good points. I had forgotten we we're trying to locate a death certificate.

I vote for Modified Plan Theantero: scout cave and be ready to bathe remaining owlbear in FOOF if we lure it out of cave with our scout. Don't FOOF the cave.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

hollylolly posted:

Okay, good points. I had forgotten we we're trying to locate a death certificate.

I vote for Modified Plan Theantero: scout cave and be ready to bathe remaining owlbear in FOOF if we lure it out of cave with our scout. Don't FOOF the cave.

Yah sure, let's go with these mods.

Also I love how people in this World apparently walk around with pre-written death certificates. Taking that memento mori to new levels.

Tran
Feb 17, 2011

It's a pleasure to meet all of you. Especially in such a fine settin' as this. Just need us some music an' a brawl an' we'll be set.

The bottle is damaged. It is a damaged bottle of incredibly volatile explosive liquid.

Throw it into the cave now, before it kills us.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Tran posted:

The bottle is damaged. It is a damaged bottle of incredibly volatile explosive liquid.

Throw it into the cave now, before it kills us.

Explode poo poo yo. Yeah, it's a danger, might as well blow it.

Waci
May 30, 2011

Let me axe you just one question.

hollylolly posted:

I vote for Modified Plan Theantero: scout cave and be ready to bathe remaining owlbear in FOOF if we lure it out of cave with our scout. Don't FOOF the cave.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Theantero posted:

Have Khami construct that chain FOOF sling we were talking about earlier, pointing it towards the cave.

Have Konnie sneak into the cave, since he is the quietest of us and probably also the most fleet of foot. If there is another owlbear there, he is to quickly run off, and then we will launch the FOOF into the cave.

Konnie seems to be missing? Last you saw he was pushed back and scrambled away from the incoming Owlbear. You don't see him anywhere nearby.

...

As you show Khami the (slightly fractured) bottle of FOOF, he takes a step back. As does everyone else present.



"Friend, you are not paying me enough to touch that. Bury it or carry it yourself, no mad gnomish science will be the end of me."

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Uhg, fine.

Get ready to throw the bottle. Get everyone in ambush position a bit away from the cave.

"Hey! Cave bear owl! You big furry piece if poo poo! Come out and plaaaayyyyy!!!"

Either it isn't there and we can toss the fooph away and whatever. Or it's in there and we kill it. There is no 'Make sure there is another one and then run away' plan. This is not a situation where we need to be subtle. L

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Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Double his pay

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