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Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0
Grimey Drawer
Trouble on the Rim, Book 2, Chapter 3
The City of Whale, Eastern Outskirts

Part two tens four: Is Update For Kobolds!
Current Region: Huddik




Upgrove is big fly noise maker, what is screeching for to take others Din Din most unrighteous. Is thievin but not properlike with many cleverness, great shame of uglybirds to know only of way of bite .
This sundown is racket making from near den of furbiters, the ones with bossman big snout black eyes snarl howler. Is avoidplace, for is too large for traps.

But lookouter say is come fat small hunam with tall hunam and tall frog, they on hunt is for shinies. They is clashbang with fogies like no problem is big problem, making for den of fur with wise slowness.
Is badness for them that big snarler is good smeller to easyfind clashgroup with pack.

In mind of self the soundmaking from scuffle is to make reminisce the cloudbang skymad fearnoise, am consider making self not gosee until noon after, truth certain. But fear heart no last stand hill die when stomach uproar.
Is must for to go fur place for investigate, says golooker with the angerface on.



...

Self grab poker and trickbag for safeties but stay closeground like golooker show for to not be foodstuff for other.

~~~

Is worse than sun after tribe dance off with drove of uglybirds fill air like trash heap outside big den and furbiters jumpbiting over all hunams. But Golooker is searchfind lost dumbkey stuck on cart with ropes, is treasure of tool to take and yuck of old fogie to not touch before away hurrymake swift.

Is from clambertree what make sense of sights, with golooker to point with interest. There golooker am say, is deadpile tornup uglybirds, there am furbiter slowdie bloodloss.
Is no nourish with such uncouth mess making, am loss on all side. No way of kobold is, but is why uglybird not kobold is are say wisely. Self nod at sensemake golooker, self nod at self for to memory.
Hunams with frog pushover furbiter, frog is jumpfrog badder when furbiter bite greenfrog munchly. Is waivepunt furbiter to dustplace and axscream into neck with bloodmess, then skiphelp to cartplace quicklike.
Golooker right in awaymake, for uglybird and furbite is am follow.

Frog is easy killmake from farplace, with boweyes sparkle it wound uglybird in wing. Is other furbite closer make? Not far when chainswing hunam make swirly shield and smll hunam axbreak curious paw.
Is uglybird swarm for to mealoff hunam make self question. Is joke, much quiet laugh from golooker. Yip!

With nosebleed pawbreak, nopack furbiter offscaddle. Is arrows soon after then uglybird chase. Small hunam bop dumbkey on head like elder to snoozemake youthful pranker, then clambercart and yellshock at clever lefttrap of self. Is snickers.
After yell am hunam to big wreckmaker clamber, pointing shootbit at furbiter with uglybird cloud. Many serious is hunam brow and then more earhurt noise to even make dumbkey sleeptytime disturb from shock and golooker fall from clambertree. Oh noes! Is quickclamber to golooker for safemaking, but is no worry. Golooker faller, is saying. So golooker not golooker long afor golooker learn fall as if clamber; no hurt golooker this way. Excite as furbiter kersplode and uglybird scatter, and ams grasshide then for fury hunam unwant. Frog is to cart going and tall hunam help frog cart going armhold, is helpteam am different from uglybird. Though when cart going is finished, Frog am bowshoot uglybird more until no more uglybird no more furbiter in local, am quiet forestplace sudden.

Frogsay blah blah hunam word, blah blah blah more hunam word. Small hunam is worry. Tall hunam after blah blah is say OK, helpmaking with cloth, then sit.



--

1: Self as mouse with golooker, after hunam safe-make, am wonder what hunam do?

A: Isam goback Whale.

B: Isam chasehunt uglybird.

C: Isam lootstay.

E: Isam other thingdo?
What is???

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Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

1: I... think

Toughy
Nov 29, 2004

KAVODEL! KAVODEL!

So we via Kobold we won and Frog wants y head back to whale and our team has casualities.

1. A

Cornuto
Jun 26, 2012

For the pack!
... what?

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Cornuto posted:

... what?

I feel like I'm teaching English again. Just.... No Maria, no bueno.

That was really good, but please don't do it too often or I'll have an aneurism.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0
Grimey Drawer

Outrail posted:

I feel like I'm teaching English again. Just.... No Maria, no bueno.

That was really good, but please don't do it too often or I'll have an aneurism.

Yeah this was just a one-off for funsies, don't worry, I won't do it again any time soon :V


Toughy posted:

So we via Kobold we won and Frog wants y head back to whale and our team has casualities.

TL/DR: Skvababt was bitten in the leg but it is not serious thanks to her armour, though Khami insisted on bandaging the wound.
You are all a bit battered and your donkey has seen better days and some Kobolds (unbeknownst to you) played a prank on you and stole some of your very sparse adventuring gear when you were busy fighting. All the wolves are dead or dying and the remaining Niddlers are escaping.

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

Oh right, I thought "1" was "Follow the humans and watch em" A was "go back to whale" (because obviously he's followed us from there or something, why wouldn't a kobold live in a city, best place for thievin') B was "go off and hunt the bird-things" and C was "Stay here while they leave and scrounge poo poo"

Basically I thought we were playing as the kobold now. :v: with the end goal that maybe we could recruit him for our team.

Uhh, B

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
LOOTSTAY, LOOTSTAY

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

Eat the dead.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Thanks, while its fun to have these interludes, I have to admit to be completely lost as to what happened.

Swedish Thaumocracy posted:

Frogsay blah blah hunam word, blah blah blah more hunam word. Small hunam is worry. Tall hunam after blah blah is say OK, helpmaking with cloth, then sit.

Vote: C: Isam lootstay.

It's what a kobold would do.

Waci
May 30, 2011

A boy and his dog.
I'm confused and don't know what's happening but i'm present and care about the outcome.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Waci posted:

I'm confused and don't know what's happening but i'm present and care about the outcome.

The politics thread is thataway bud.

Numeron
Mar 23, 2012

A whole new world in
the palm of my hand.
drat, kobolds as well...

If this trip is any indication we might actually have trouble getting monster contracts unless its for something particularly dangerous or provides very specific crafting mats. After all, whats the point in putting out a contract for a monster if later that day it will have wandered off to be replaced by something else entirely?

With the volume of random monsters around perhaps there's somewhere that will just accept and pay for whatever monster corpse you drop at their door?

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

C

Captainicus
Feb 22, 2013



C

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

whessa big snout bossman?

heap big bigsparkle

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


alpaca diseases posted:

whessa big snout bossman?

heap big bigsparkle


This am best wordsay. +1

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0
Grimey Drawer

alpaca diseases posted:

whessa big snout bossman?

heap big bigsparkle


Golooker say, big snout bossman black eye snarlhowler isam headloss uglybird.

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars


Swedish Thaumocracy posted:

Golooker say, big snout bossman black eye snarlhowler isam headloss uglybird.

poo poo, we flushed away our quarry.

Is Plan Numeron something we can even give a shot?

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0
Grimey Drawer
Well, presumably the 'uglybirds' left the rest of big snout bossman where it lay. They aren't that strong!

As for the viability of monster hunting in this area, why would the abundance of monsters be a demerit to business? It is rather the opposite, you can expect your services to be very much in demand if you get your reputation out there as successful hunters.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0
Grimey Drawer
Trouble on the Rim, Book 2, Chapter 3
The City of Whale, Eastern Outskirts

Part twentyfive: Back to normal!
Current Region: Huddik


The problem with fighting Niddlers never lay in the fighting itself. Not for mercenaries both armed and armoured, at any rate, when a single arrow is enough to pluck them out of the sky.
No, the threat they pose lay hidden partially in their great number and partially in their ability to fly. A common Citizen of Rim would stand little to no chance when faced with an annoyance of Niddlers, as they with tooth and claw would descend only when that citizen is most at risk. But for the likes of you, the problem instead lies in finding them. But, they made the critical mistake of attacking you when you were winning, and now most of this clutch lay dead.

You, Skvababt and Khami rest upon the cart together. By your kill-count, there are 6 lupine carcasses and seven Niddlerian ones. Three of them got away, though one of those that did is not long for the world, having plummeted somewhere in the underbush to your north-west after a glancing arrow pierced its wing. You found the remains of the direwolf to be all but useless. The head was missing entirely, stolen by the lead Niddler and taken far away in the confusion of that first, almighty attack. The dire's fur was burnt and torn, the internals mulched by the initial shock of impact or embedded somewhere in a burning tree.
That there was anything left at all you can chalk up to the resilience of dire-creatures. It would probably have been a hard-fought battle had you actually engaged it with anything resembling fair-play.
But, being Monster Hunters, you of course did not. Score 1 for Civilization.

You take stock of your wounds as best as you can manage without a medic's training. Skvababt's 'leather' leg-armour is toast, savaged by a wolf. Her leg itself is for the most part fine but may bruise? You are unsure.
It hurts to stand on, but you think this is temporary. Khami suffered similar injuries, but his armour held up better, being chain. His right arm aches from a padded mauling and he is fatigued.
You yourself bear no significant injuries, though your shield has seen better days. Your axe is as sharp as ever.
Your donkey who in turn is out cold for the moment. A casualty of percussive maintenance.

In this brief downtime, you review your contract to freshen your memory.

A Bounty on Niddlers posted:

These creepy monkey-birds have ruined my crop of Papaya for the last time!
As of this notice, by the powers vested in me by The Whale-City Guild of Merchants, I, Millicent Hermington, supplier of only the finest quality fruit to the Lord of Whale himself, whole-sale fruit exporter; want these varmints eradicated!!!
A standing bounty of [01] wealth per ten heads will be paid in full on presenting said heads to the sitting clerk at Hermingtons Wholesale Fruit Emporium Warehouse, which you may find in Wharf 5 of the Flippers.
The Papaya Plantation in question is located in the eastern part of the Krills, exiting Whale through the east-gate.

Seven heads out of ten collected, for the minimum bounty. A good days work, but the day is not over yet. Now that you know their rough whereabouts, finding the main-nest should be little issue with Skvababt as your tracker.

1: As for what you do when you get there...

Plan Johakim
He isn't around any more, but he would have advocated for a plan that was as boring as it was safe and time-consuming, which is to say very.
Find the nest, but do not engage. Wait until their irregular patrols leave and pick them off one by one. When sufficiently weakened, or if some other opportune moment presents itself, only then do you engage, and even then preferably at range.

There is Little direct danger to your health - if the Niddler horde is alerted to your presence you will have ample time to escape or regroup. You can expect to collect on most, if not all, of the Niddlers present. You should win the fight handily.
However, it is time-consuming, with a high risk of indirect danger. The longer you stay in the forest, the higher the likelihood that some other monster will find you.

Plan Abigail
Though you can't shake the feeling that she is always around the very next corner, Abigail is not here. Still, you know exactly what her plan would be.
Find the nest, and destroy it immediately, killing everything inside and using all of your resources to ensure it gets done as soon as possible.

A Swift approach will see you in and out of battle in as short a time as possible, but you will definitely alert the Niddlerian horde and some of them will get away, if only because all of them can fly. You will probably win the battle with minor injuries, depending on how many stay and fight. If there are other monsters about, they probably wont catch wind of you until you are well on your way back to whale.

C: Plan Johkigail
Bad plan-name aside, a balanced approach would see you engage the nest from all sides at a medium pace, slowly advancing until the alert is inevitably sounded and then rushing in to deal with the rest. You would be seated on ##Nåzom Stėgeth##, ready to take on any wild-cards that might present themselves with extreme prejudiced. You should be able to collect on most of the Niddlers, and you would probably win the battle with only minor casualties, though that depends on exactly how many there are and how many stay to fight.

--

[ISTEC Inventory]
##Nåzom Stegėth## - A Masterwork Siege Arbalest - With three javelins remaining.
The nigh indestructible right and left Waspable Gauntlets
A custom-built, heirloom, Masterwork Waraxe.
A set of medium quality light leather armour.
A shield, dented, wood with metal trimmings.
A box of delectable Ethereal RimRose Cupcakes that do not appear to spoil. There are [04] left.
A priceless, if blank, parchment, in actual fact a mysterious Artifact that makes people think you have a valid ID. Don't lose it.
An ITEC Business-card.
A small star, plucked with the River Ennui in a dream?
One bottle of liquid fire-paste.
The clothes on your body.
A small collection of maps of the Empire.
You have [zero wealth] to your name.
[01] x Pouch of Coins - Spending money, rapidly dwindling.

--

Lolthian Sacrevision™
Direwolf-corpse: Unusable / Desecrated
Six Wolf Corpse: Decent appetizer, freshly slain. Might get you an audience, but you better have something worth-while to say.
Niddler-corpse: Ugh! Eww. Please don't.
Ghast-Corpse: Decent appetizer, but decomposing. Might get you an audience, but you better have something worth-while to say.

--

Party Thoughts:
Skvababt: "Like lovers dancing, each fight has it's balance of give and take. They have given. Mhm. We take the rest from them, and dance upon their graves, yes?"
Khami: "Have you heard tell the parable of the Tortoise, the Hare, and the Direwolf? The hare ran away and was eaten by the Direwolf, who was swifter.
The tortoise stayed and was eaten by the Direwolf, who was stronger. The Direwolf was then killed by monster hunters, who were smarter and got paid for their services. The end."

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
We should have brought FOOF. Take care of the whole drat nest in one go.

Hopefully find enough scattered heads to make it worthwhile.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...
C, let's get this over with without making mistakes.

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars


C is good.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

Outrail posted:

We should have brought FOOF. Take care of the whole drat nest in one go.

Hopefully find enough scattered heads to make it worthwhile.

If only. Plan Chippity Chop.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Outrail posted:

We should have brought FOOF. Take care of the whole drat nest in one go.

Can't claim the bounty if all the bodies are FOOF'ed.

Vote: C: Plan Johkigail

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
Imo need to make a bomb that kills literally everything within miles of the detonation point but leaves the bodies intact for bounty hunting proof of death

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Slaan posted:

Imo need to make a bomb that kills literally everything within miles of the detonation point but leaves the bodies intact for bounty hunting proof of death

So, chemical weapons. You want us to start making chemical weapons.

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars


We already have FOOF though?

I think Slaan is thinking of neutron bombs, which, :yikes:

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

A

Let's grab three more, call it a day, then come back fresh and clear out the cave. Remember what happened last time we went into a cave when we weren't ready.

Also, Sacrifice the wolves and ghast as thanks for the ability to sense sacrifices.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

CourValant posted:

So, chemical weapons. You want us to start making chemical weapons.

I've got the oddest erection right now.

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

dont be mean to me posted:

We already have FOOF though?

I think Slaan is thinking of neutron bombs, which, :yikes:

Uh, not those. Definitely not those :ninja:

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

Slaan posted:

Uh, not those. Definitely not those :ninja:

So we need to grab a gnome and teach it particle physics in order to make neutron cluster bomb grenade launchers. I'm in.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

Blasphemaster posted:

So we need to grab a gnome and teach it particle physics in order to make neutron cluster bomb grenade launchers. I'm in.

We have a star it can experiment with...

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

CourValant posted:

So, chemical weapons. You want us to start making chemical weapons.

Paging SniperWoreConverse

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

Volmarias posted:

Paging SniperWoreConverse

:hmmyes: We need that bootstrappy knowhow.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

dont be mean to me posted:

I think Slaan is thinking of neutron bombs, which, :yikes:

Outrail posted:

I've got the oddest erection right now.

Slaan posted:

Uh, not those. Definitely not those :ninja:

super sweet best pal posted:

We have a star it can experiment with...

Volmarias posted:

Paging SniperWoreConverse

Blasphemaster posted:

:hmmyes: We need that bootstrappy knowhow.

Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last time, ya'll scare me with your casual proclivities for WMDs.

:thunk:

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

Fantastically,
Overwhelmingly,
Outstanding
Fun!

Akumu
Apr 24, 2003

If we had some way of refracting/scattering the soulbolts of ##Nåzom Stegėth## we could have a AOE soul-ripper. Not only does it leave bodies unharmed, it also leaves them alive but docile, so they could be continuously harvested of venoms and other secretions.

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super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

CourValant posted:

Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last time, ya'll scare me with your casual proclivities for WMDs.

:thunk:

You should see what we've been doing in Break Down That Gate.

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