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Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003


Eat Egg, Take crown, smash other kobold eggs.

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Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

A roc and a hard place



Arcturas posted:

Why do goons want stupid pets? It's a kobold. kill it and take the crown.

We are only keeping them until we can sell them. It's just solid business.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




Mr. Nemo posted:

We are only keeping them until we can sell them. It's just solid business.

Or we can just kill them since they are worthless

paradoxGentleman
Dec 10, 2013

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!


Kobolds are considered pests by the Empire as a whole. No one is going to buy it and anyone who feels like it is within their legal right to kill it on sight.

This also means that it would be perfectly understandable IC to just murder this baby, as much as saying this makes me feel ever so slightly uneasy.

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009

Chakh'mah Mush'lam Echad Rak

paradoxGentleman posted:

This also means that it would be perfectly understandable IC to just murder this baby, as much as saying this makes me feel ever so slightly uneasy.

Clearly you didn't play Paradise Lost.

Tran
Feb 17, 2011

It's a pleasure to meet all of you. Especially in such a fine settin' as this. Just need us some music an' a brawl an' we'll be set.

With them being confirmed as pest species, smash the eggs then see if we can figure out a way to get the crate back to Gruw. It's pretty valuable evidence, and may earn us a bonus. We also have the shrine we seemed intent on reclaiming and the death certificates of the previous adventurers to gather before we clear out.

Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Secret Art: Toxic Crotch Whirlwind!

We should recruit Ragnar and the remaining gnome back at the tavern. They're somewhat without an employer now, I think?

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009

Chakh'mah Mush'lam Echad Rak

Green Intern posted:

We should recruit Ragnar and the remaining gnome back at the tavern. They're somewhat without an employer now, I think?

Ragnar in particular could probably whip our people into better fighting shape. Hell, we might be close to the point where we don't have to personally go into the thick of battle.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Use our Accounting Skill:

We have a Big Crate of Ultra-Bright torches. Is it conceivable for us to make a trip to Grüw, pick a slimegineer, and come back without them running out? If so, estimate the Wealth we would get by presenting that huge slime-thing to them alive. It is bound to be super rare.

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface


Take the baby, if anyone asks us about it later we say it's clearly a gnome that hosed up an experiment. I mean really a group of monster hunters with a kobold? Preposterous

Y'all need to fight the system of racial oppression and genocide. Our corporation is an equal opportunity employer/enslaver. Also if someone ends up killing him we can demand bloodgeld for the killing of our friend/prisoner/slave and then we can take the crown. Plus if its bigger by then I assume the crown will be too and thus worth more.

So tldr version : If we kill it now we get a small immediate bonus but if we wait and see where this goes we might get anything from a kicking rad trap master to a better payout when/if the crown grows. Or a recurring villain if it escapes which would be fun too.

Telsa Cola fucked around with this message at Apr 12, 2016 around 17:22

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.


College Slice

Kill it, take the crown.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

The Question of Slime Lake

Theantero posted:

Use our Accounting Skill:

We have a Big Crate of Ultra-Bright torches. Is it conceivable for us to make a trip to Grüw, pick a slimegineer, and come back without them running out? If so, estimate the Wealth we would get by presenting that huge slime-thing to them alive. It is bound to be super rare.

As mentioned earlier; it all depends on the origins of Slime Lake. If it is a random monster that slimed its way into the mines, then you can be pretty certain that the Slimegeneers Guild would be interested in capturing it for study or materials.
If however, it is an integral part of the mines operation, grown freakishly huge by neglect or sabotage, then reporting it would be akin to telling OSHA about faulty machinery. You would get a pat on the back, but receive no recompense.

The presence of so many Ultra-Bright torches in the Grüwian Silvermines speaks for the latter; you doubt the Kobolds would have the means to produce them. Although they have proven a constant source of surprise.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Blackmail Strike a deal with Big Kate Trading Company to cover up their screw up for $$$

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

The King is Dead...
Grüwian Silver Mines
Month 2, week three, day six.
(Early Morning)


With a blow both swift and merciless, the former and very brief ruler of the Grüwian Kobolds lies dead. [+01 kills]
The Crown of Leadership falls to the ground, coming to a stop at the base of your feet. You pick it up to examine it.



This is [Untranslatable gibberish] – ??? - A Koboldian Crown.
This is a gold crown. All craftskoboldship is of Koboldian quality.
It is encircled with bands of gold. This object menaces with spikes of gold.

Whilst it isn't much to look at (both literally and figuratively, it is pretty small!) you are quiet certain it is made from solid gold. You could probably sell it to some noble collector for a pretty penny. What's more; you can also be sure it is not the property of the former miners.
Whilst a dwarf of means might wear a gold ring or two in its beard, none would carry such fancy jewellery into the mines where it might get caught in pick or machinery. By salvagers right; it is yours.

5: What do you do with the Crown?
A: Keep it to sell later.
B: Keep it, but also wear it immediately.
C: Throw it back in Big Kate, leave it amongst the eggs to share their fate.
D: Get rid of it in some other manner.

Voting for all other options is closed.

Swedish Thaumocracy fucked around with this message at Apr 14, 2016 around 12:46

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009

Chakh'mah Mush'lam Echad Rak

How are we doing with rough projected profit from this mission so far? Do we need more to cover expenses?

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.


College Slice

A seems sensible.

paradoxGentleman
Dec 10, 2013

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!


There Bias Two posted:

How are we doing with rough projected profit from this mission so far? Do we need more to cover expenses?

That, I believe, depends on how much we get paid by the chancellor, but it's generally understood that it should be more than enough to cover our expenses.

That being said I vote for E: get it checked out by a magician or something similar before deciding

It's a golden crown that was apparently organically spawned out of an egg. This is not normal, I believe. Now I'm not saying that we should focus on finding a way to reproduce the same effect, it's not our field of expertise, but someone might be interested in it, and that someone might give us a more generous finder's fee.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006



Grimey Drawer

E, get it inspected first.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Misconceggsions.

paradoxGentleman posted:

That, I believe, depends on how much we get paid by the chancellor, but it's generally understood that it should be more than enough to cover our expenses.

That being said I vote for E: get it checked out by a magician or something similar before deciding

It's a golden crown that was apparently organically spawned out of an egg. This is not normal, I believe. Now I'm not saying that we should focus on finding a way to reproduce the same effect, it's not our field of expertise, but someone might be interested in it, and that someone might give us a more generous finder's fee.

What is a magician?

Also, it didn't spawn from the egg. The Egggaurdians placed it upon Egg's brow in the hatching ceremony
.

HBar
Sep 13, 2007

I LOVE THEM APPLES





E, keep it as evidence. This is craftsdwarfship of the highest quality, not some hastily-reworked scrap. Whoever made or commissioned this did it with deliberate intent.

Also get it inspected, if there are any magical properties then they might give us more information about its creator.

paradoxGentleman
Dec 10, 2013

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!


Swedish Thaumocracy posted:

Misconceggsions.


What is a magician?

Also, it didn't spawn from the egg. The Egggaurdians placed it upon Egg's brow in the hatching ceremony
.

Whoops, sorry about that.
I still say we should have it checked out.

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

Screw you OP, ain't nobody gonna change my avatar.

A Also keep egg's body for our gnome buddy. an infant leader kobold is probably a pretty rare find, just imagine all the experiments it could be used for.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

What is magic?

paradoxGentleman posted:

Whoops, sorry about that.
I still say we should have it checked out.

Don't worry about it, the thread is somewhat long now and a lot of information is buried within.
For convenience sake, I will compile what the player knows about magic here:

To the general public, magic is rumours and stories for children.
And in either case, what use would it be when Divine Miracles are so readily available?

Skvababt claims to have met a man who passed a strange academy in one of Rims many great cities on his travels; wherein they studied 'chaos' under strict observation by the Imperial Bureaucracy
You faced a strange creature in a forest whom seemed to at one point to be there, another not. It displayed several physics defying feats before finally succumbing to the combined attacks of ITEC whereupon it reverted to a more familiar, animal state.
The edge of the very same battle-zone is also where you found the Ethereal Rim Rose, the main ingredient in your Ethereal Rim Rose Cupcakes.
You believe you have experienced some sort of Astral Projection.

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

A roc and a hard place



B

Let's mess with potentially magical objects

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009


A - get that sweet, sweet profit

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

The Grüwian Silver Mines
Month 2, week three, day six.
Early morning


Having dealt with Egg and his Ilk, add the crown to your pack and post Kvelar to guard Big Kate whilst Johakim plies his trade on the unconscious form of Konnie, Abigail having a 'bit of a nap' over in one corner.
That leaves yourself, Ragnar, Skvababt and Tommy to loot the nesting hall.

You instruct them to be wary of traps and to keep an eye out for things you can sell primarily; with dozens of Kobold corpses and their equipment your cart is going to be overloaded as is.


This image is in no way representative of what you find in the nesting hall; yet from rummaging through a metric tonne of scrap and useless junk you come to the understanding that this ideal is what the Kobolds where striving for.
Every nest is filled to the brim with shiny, metallic objects or things that must have once looked out of place.

Through your searching, a telling pattern quickly emerges; the nests are highly individualized. Whether through in-fighting or merely obsession, most nests only contain one or a handful of different items.
One of the first you find is almost entirely doorknobs, for instance, whilst another is mostly rusty nails.

Ragnar is the first of you to find something interesting. He was investigating a small nest along the southern edge that seemed to gleam less than the others.
Curious, he approached it avoiding a poorly set up and extremely obvious crossbow trap but almost tripping on some sort of wire connected to a bunch of rock filled buckets only to find that the nest contained nothing but parchment.



Scroll upon scroll lining the nest like insulation. Some where clearly the missing death certificates, others would be diaries or documents relating to the everyday running of the mine itself. All the documents, save for the Certificates, showed signs of wear and tear.
How they escaped tarnishing if of course no mystery: the scrolls are blessed to be nearly impervious and impossible to remove from the living. +[A Bunch of Death Certificates] +[A bunch of random important documents] +[A bunch of random non-important documents]

Impervious? I hear you ask. Does that mean we can make paper armour? Alas no; Impervious means just that; impossible to affect. You could no more staple one Death Certificate to another than you could throw the great Rim Wall itself.
That is not to say that people have not tried, just that any such attempts invariably lead to Fremdschämen and accident much tragic.

You find an additional [04 wealth] in various Kobold modified equipment throughout the cavern and another [02] on top of that in equipment that hasn't been been overly scuffed.
These are all subject to the same rules as the rest of your Kobold Piles however, and your inner accountant frowns slightly.



Tin figurines. Perhaps used for a game amongst the miners, or just memorabilia of childhood and home, amongst other debris you are the second to find something of importance.
Amongst the soldiery two statues tower above the rest, a general and his right hand dwarf, a workers worker. The missing idols whom you are now able to return to their proper quarters.

With confident step you leave the others to looting and make your way to the temple. It is still filled with scrap, much more than you will have time to clear out, but you resolved earlier to set things right and so you shall.
Wading through rubbish you tidy the dedicated Alcoves up and place the Idols reverently within. You nod to yourself, head over to the large calcified writing board at the end of the temple hall and remove the Koboldish scribblings as best you are able (with liberal application of alcohol and elbow grease).
Some sweaty time later you tu-


“Three days west-northwest of Braav, beyond the River Ennui, lies the township of Jauntyville. It is home to a large factory, the workings of which is important to the Empire at large. A dwarvish ironworker will have fallen, going amok and claiming the factory as his own.
With the aid of master crafted automata he is will be having laid siege to the city itself from within. You have two weeks before the city is consumed by fire.”


-rn to leave the temple, content in a job well done. Your co-workers have ploughed through most of the nests by now, finding a total of [02 wealth] in items that you cannot rightly be denied as well as what looks to be [03] small flasks of nasty green liquid,
reminiscent of what the Trap-Master used to ill effect not too long ago. Most of that nest is now a smoking crater however, as it seems to have been rigged to blow up when tampered with.
Only through quick thinking and even quicker reflexes where even those few bottles saved.

That leaves you with a final tally of:

[030] Kobold Corpses of varying sizes and shape that can be salvaged into leather for amour.
[014 wealth] worth of Kobold Gear that you will submit to the Chamberlain.
[02 wealth] worth of gear that is yours by right, as soon a you find somewhere to sell it.
[01] Koboldian Plate Armour that is dubiously yours; fit to either You or Kvelar.
[01] Box of Tin Soldiers.
[01] Bag of red and grey ??? dust.
[01] Shipping crate filled with Kobold Eggs labelled Big Kate. Includes Shipping Manifest.
[01] Crate full of Ultra-Bright Torches. Also dubiously yours.
[03] Green flasks probably full of highly pressurized acid.
[01] Koboldian Crown of Leadership. Solid gold. You could probably sell it, or wear it. Maybe you should?
[A Bunch of Death Certificates.]
[A bunch of random important documents.]
[A bunch of random non-important documents.]


1:
Packing everything up will take a decent amount of time, but with all threats neutralized your team should not have any trouble doing so. Having a working (if temporarily derailed) minecart will help you bring everything to the surface that much quicker.
The only question on your mind is where to go next?



Traversing a square takes one hour per height of row, meaning that going from D1 to D2 would take one hour, but going the same distance, F3 to F4 would take four hours in total. Climbing a row takes the longer period. Descending a row takes the shorter interval.
You are currently in square [b4] – The Silvermines of Grüw.

A: There is a flurry of Yetis somewhere on the mountain.
Search for them. Name a square and ITEC shall head out and search. Note that most of ITEC is severely injured at the moment, fighting Yetis as is is probably suicidal.

B: Head back to Grüw.
Report in to the Chamberlain, decide where to go next from there.

C: I have the sudden urge...
Head off to a town I never heard of exactly one and a half weeks of travel to the west north west. Head of at a gruelling pace for some reason?


[ITEC Battle Summary]
Overall morale is good. The mood is weary, but triumphant.
You are somewhat hurt. Your armour has been pierced by claw and javelin and you are bleeding from shallow cuts. Your side hurts. Your shoulder smarts. [03 kills] [You feel weird.]
[You are inconvenienced by a bright light.]
[You feel suddenly pressed for time.] You are weary. You have [-03] crumbs remaining.
Kvelar: Is somewhat Healthy. His armour has been pierced by shrapnel. He is weary. [08 kills] [02 assist]
Tommy: Is Slightly Hurt He is weary. [06 kills] [01 assist]
Konnie: Is unconscious. His armour has been pierced by shrapnel. [08 kills] [02 assists]
Khami: Is Somewhat Hurt He has a few minor cuts and bruises, including one to his ear. He is weary. [4 assists]
Abigail: Is unconscious. [02 kills] [02 assists] [Has an obviously broken arm]
Ragnar: Is hurt. He is limping. He seems eager. [02 kills.] [01 assists.]
Johakim: Is Healthy, well fed and weary. [01 assist]
Skvababt: Is Healthy, stuffed and well weary. [03 kills] [02 assists]

Total number of ITEC Kobold Kills: [032] out of [034]

Party Thoughts:
Konnie: … *is unconscious*
Tommy: “Should get Konnie to a temple and myself to an inn. ”
Kvelar: “Best get back to Grüw 'fore we all perish from exhaustion.”
Abigail: … *is unconscious*
Khami: “I wonder... who would benefit from this apparent sabotage? I doubt Kobolds bow to any other authority than themselves.”
Johakim: “.... they are out cold but stable. I'm not sure who took a worse beating, Konnie or Abigail. The only difference is Abigail did most of it to herself.”
Skvababt: “Lets get out of this dreary place and find ourselves somewhere more comfortable; where we can celebrate. Oh, and don't forget the corpses. Mhmhmmhm.”
Ragnar: “I'll hitch a ride with you to Grüw if that's not too much of a bother. I'd go myself only I think my horse might be parked inside one of the scalies, the poor thing! Ha ha!”

You are aware of the presence of a multitude of Imperial Corpses in the Mine, located in what appeared to be a Koboldian feeding pit.
Sorting through them all, especially after you have already found the appropriate Death Certificates, is not your job. The right thing to do here is to report it to the authorities.

You have [07 Wealth] to your name and owe [013 Wealth] in salaries and upkeep by the end of the month.
With the reward you expect to collect from this mission, you are confident you will be able to meet this goal, however you are not yet sure how much gear maintenance and healing (if you go for it) will set you back.
The date is currently month 2, week three, day six meaning you have one week and one day until the deadline.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003


Ask Ragnar if he would like to join our guild

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009


If we travel at a grueling pace, will that affect the healing of our injured colleagues?

Thinking B and then C

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Healing and You

hollylolly posted:

If we travel at a grueling pace, will that affect the healing of our injured colleagues?

Thinking B and then C

Almost certainly. You aren't a doctor but luckily you have one that travels with you. You ask for his opinion on the matter.


"Hrrmph."

You are somewhat hurt. Your armour has been pierced by claw and javelin and you are bleeding from shallow cuts. Your side hurts. Your shoulder smarts.
You have [-03] crumbs remaining. You need bed-rest, but will be back to prime condition within a week. You are still in fighting shape, however.
Kvelar: Is somewhat Healthy. His armour has been pierced by shrapnel. Just needs a bit of rest.
Tommy: Is Slightly Hurt. He is weary. Needs a bit of rest and perhaps a bandage or two.
Konnie: Is unconscious. He has suffered heavy blunt trauma, but is keeping it together. His armour has been pierced by shrapnel. Needs attention from the temple, stat.
Khami: Is Somewhat Hurt He has a few minor cuts and bruises, including one to his ear. He is weary. Needs basic medical attention, but should be fine with rest.
Abigail: Is unconscious. [Has an obviously broken arm, with several fractures.] Needs advanced medical attention, could probably do with a stay in the temple as well. Probably shouldn't use that arm for a while.
Ragnar: Is hurt. He is limping. He seems eager. Should probably get that wound checked at the temple.
Johakim: Is Healthy, well fed and weary. Is Fine.
Skvababt: Is Healthy, stuffed and well weary. Is Fine.

Swedish Thaumocracy fucked around with this message at Apr 14, 2016 around 20:30

paradoxGentleman
Dec 10, 2013

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!


B
We need to patch ourselves up, get our payment, decide how to use it and then decide if we are in position to deal with yetis or divine prophecies.

HBar
Sep 13, 2007

I LOVE THEM APPLES





B
Eat a blue cupcake. We still need to return to non-negative crumbs.

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.


College Slice

HBar posted:

B
Eat a blue cupcake. We still need to return to non-negative crumbs.

+1

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006



Grimey Drawer

Ask the doc:

"Hypothetical question, say you're cleaning a temple. All of the sudden you have the insight that you need to be at a specific location before two weeks is up. The location is a week and a half away. Failure to act will result in a tragedy. What's the quickest way to get everyone back to fighting condition and on our way?"

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

A roc and a hard place



Head back to Gruw, get money, leave people at temple, hire faster transportation, go to that city with the able members. Feasible?

That's just B, but I'd like to know if the rest of the plan would work. Is there a horse, or cart service in Gruw?

B

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009

Chakh'mah Mush'lam Echad Rak

B

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

paradoxGentleman posted:

B
We need to patch ourselves up, get our payment, decide how to use it and then decide if we are in position to deal with yetis or divine prophecies.

Yeah, this. We are a dwarf, in the adventuring business to make money. We are not some hero trying to save the World based on nothing but vague (well okay, that prophesy is actually very clear and not at all cryptic, but still) whisperings of prophesy.

So yeah, B.

Kira Akashiya
Feb 2, 2013


B

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Theantero posted:

Yeah, this. We are a dwarf, in the adventuring business to make money. We are not some hero trying to save the World based on nothing but vague (well okay, that prophesy is actually very clear and not at all cryptic, but still) whisperings of prophesy.

So yeah, B.

Ms. Happiness
Aug 26, 2009



B Please.

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There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009

Chakh'mah Mush'lam Echad Rak

Wait, if we know the city is going to burn down, we could take out an insurance policy on literally everything and reap boatloads of gold in return.

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