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Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Any way of setting everything on fire? Set everything on fire

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Wentley
Feb 7, 2012


Plant faun zombie clown?

TRULY A MONSTER.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009


Cut off his legs!

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Huh. Did not expect plant-zombies to be smart enough to abduct a monster. Well, I suppose they'll be weak to slashing, so uhh... slash at it? I guess

Also, let's not burn everything yet. We still have a monster to find.

I doubt the plant has vitals to stab, so Konnie should keep a bit of distance and maybe distract the zombie whilst we axe-wielders hack it down.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxOJsrFF-3k

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

Slice and Burn

Clowns, clowns, why did it have to be clowns?!
A million thoughts raced through your head. Horror stories from your youth, the humble boasts of your dear cousin. Your torches, in your pack back where you parked your horses. Cooking oil, flint and tinder. But your new friends where in trouble. If this was a glorified tree, you figured axes would do wonders in cutting it down to size.

Kvelar shot of a bolt from his crossbow, hitting the clown square in the ribs, then followed up with a swing from his axe that missed by a mile. The creature was utterly unphased.

Tommy swung his great-club mightily, this time scoring a solid hit to it's midsection. You could hear something cracking but the clown didn't even flinch, the vines covering it's body tightening up to compensate for the damage.

Khami swung his chain and managed to snag one of the creatures arms and pulled for all his worth. The clown, no longer able to pursue Konnie turned its torso independently of the head to rear for a new attack.

You had planned to hit it in the back, but this sudden development meant that was impossible. You cut feebly with your axe but to no avail. It is upon you.

It's one free arm, covered in vines, shoots out at you mimicking Khamis chain-toss but your small stature is enough that a quick roll is enough to get you out of harms reach.

The fight continues like this for some time, Khami straining to keep it under control, you and Kvelar trying to get at it with your axes and Tommy desperately looking for something to club that would actually make a difference. For it's part it's content with throwing viny-tendrils at whoever comes to close, swinging them about madly, hoping to catch at least one of you off-guard.

And it does. In the scramble of battle, Tommy makes a single miscalculation and is hit with the full force of the vineclowns attack sending him flying bodily several meters away, crashing into one of the wagons. The tendrils start flowing over the connection, covering his chest in seconds.



Time is off the essence. If there is anyone inside the tent they will have heard you by now. How do you proceed?

Swedish Thaumocracy fucked around with this message at Oct 22, 2015 around 20:27

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Cut the vine, have someone dig out the remainder from the infected man. Apply fire to the clown.


It's the only way to be sure.

Wentley
Feb 7, 2012


drat plant zombie clowns.

Cut the vine.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Use Axe on Clown

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

We should fall back a bit and help Tommy, cut the vine etc. Johakim too should come and help him.

Konnie should go fetch something to make flames with, since daggers probably won't hurt these things.

Kvelar is used to single combat, let him fight the zombie alone for now. (Thaum said in IRC we are not used to fighting as a group. Maybe this will play to Kvelar's strengths)

Khami should keep entangling the zombie.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Rip out the vine infection, grab a limb back as evidence plus reseach, and retreat to bring back the drow's guards with torch and pitchfork.

leave the thief to spy on them in case they escape, have him leave a trail of clues for us to give chase

Nyaa fucked around with this message at Oct 22, 2015 around 18:31

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

Tommy’s Bad Day

You yell: “Fire! Konnie! Johakim! Get the torches!” “Kvelar, Khami! Keep it occupied!” and rush of towards the cart that broke Tommy's flight.

Swing! Miss! Your deft axing goes wild as the tendrils throb and continue smothering their victim.

Kvelar, stumbles, trying to get a bead on the vineclown but it is twitching far to much for any of his swings to connect. Khami tries to help him, pulling with all his might against the greenhouse monster. It's all he can do to keep it still, keep it's other arm from murdering Kvelar or worse, himself.

The tendrils pulse threateningly. If nothing is done soon, Tommys days are numbered! One!

It's dark. It's scary, and someone else’s life is on the line. You freeze up. You can see the vines clearly before you, but your arms aren't in it. You watch helplessly as more and more of your friend is covered in vines.



Suddenly a battle axe whirrs past you, cutting the infecting tendrils in two and covering you in black, vicious blood. The monster spasms behind you, spraying fluid everywhere. It rips at the chain holding it in place and focuses all it's attention on Khami. It's loose!

Kvelar breaths a sigh of relief as he runs up you, smacks you upside the head and grabs his axe. “Get with it boy! Don't stand there like a lemon! Hit something! Make sure Tommy is alright, anything, do something!

He might as well be talking to a wall.

---

Khami legs it, either hoping to kite the monster letting Kvelar attack from the rear or simple out of fear. It is hard to tell. Whatever his motivation, Kvelar doesn't hesitate.



The cut is deep, several tendrils break of entirely, withering where they hit the ground. The clown bleeds thick, black ooze.

It twists it's midsection 180 degrees, more horrible, meaty sounds coming from inside it's body. It shoots off a tendril at Kvelar, but he dodges, rolls, comes up beside it. Chops it in half.



You are covered in blood. Drenched. Kvelar goes to town on the the corpse, slicing, dicing, chopping every tendril that dares twitch in his presence. You snap to it, walk over to Tommys side. He is unconscious, the tendrils still strangling his chest, but they are dormant. You take out a dagger and begin cutting him lose.

Khami comes back to you, squats down by your side. “Well fought, but it's not over yet.”

You see Johakim and Konnie in the distance, running back down, torches in hand.



You have a moment to compose yourself. You can still hear muffled noises from the tent, but nothing seems to be coming out to get you.

You plan to burn what is left of the clown as soon as you are able, but where, and is there anything else you'd like to do?

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Burn ALL clown parts

Torn a large hole on the tent and look from the outside, don't go in yet.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Make sure no one is showing any strange injuries or is infected by whatever that was

Wentley
Feb 7, 2012


Arkanomen posted:

Make sure no one is showing any strange injuries or is infected by whatever that was

Oh hell.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Wentley posted:

Oh hell.
All it takes is one little vine...

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Carry the pieces a good distance away, dig a small firepit to make the flames less visible, burn the vines on low flame.

Have Johakim take a look at Tommy.

Try a different strategy: Sneak around the camp since these vine-zombies don't seem to be too perceptive. Let's try and find Flopsy and leg it via stealth.

Arkanomen posted:

Make sure no one is showing any strange injuries or is infected by whatever that was
Do this.

Nyaa posted:

Torn a large hole on the tent and look from the outside, don't go in yet.
Do this if we can't find Flopsy outside the tent, but have Konnie be the cutter. He can hopefully cut a small hole silently with his knives.

Theantero fucked around with this message at Oct 22, 2015 around 20:41

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

Take nothing but Flopsy, leave nothing but ash.

The others arrive quickly. Johakim takes one look at Tommy and his mouth wobbles. “Tommy, Tommy..” He gets out his medkit and begins looking the big guy over.
You don't know medicine, so there is nothing you can do.

It doesn't take much convincing to get the others to collect every scrap of clown and vine you can find and throw it in a hastily-dug pit.
Before you light the fire however, you bend down to pick up the clowns death certificate. Those are the rules after all.

Apparently his name was Djamino The Clown. Worked at a circus (presumably this one). No family. Human, once. 43 years old.
Presented to any census agent or office, the scroll would provide closure to the Bureaucracy.

< Gain: Death Certificate: Djamino The Clown >

You consider the corpse more closely before the fire starts eating away at it. He must have been dead for days, perhaps weeks.
The vines kept him in good shape, but he was only a vessel. Something to latch on too. Perhaps camouflage?
You've never fought a vine before. You have no idea how they think, or even if they can think at all.

Kvelar pipes up. “Never seen anything like it. Suppose it's a Forest creature? Good thing we had axes with us, nothing else seemed to as much as scratch it.”

Konnie is livid. His eyes burn brighter then your ad-hoc pyre. “Worthless, degenerate clowns! “ He grumbles, spits, kicks at a nearby wagon.
You tell him to calm down, see if he can figure out what is in the tent without arousing suspicion. If no one has come out of there even after all this racket, they must either be afraid, locked up or dead.

Not knowing what else to do, he nods and wanders off. Soon he is out of your sight.

Some time passes. Johakim turns to you. “He will live, but we need to get him to a hospital or church. Whatever we do, he's out for now. Kvelar, will you help me take him back to our horses?”

Kvelar nods, and the two (three) scurry off.

You wait a while by the fire, wondering what went wrong. What you could have done better.





Konnie comes back. Says he found something, but isn't sure how to proceed. Thought he'd come get you, all of you.



From the vantage point of the hole-cut-in-cloth of the tent, you can see into it's interior. It's dark, but you can make a few out vague shapes. What must be creatures, and what might be a wagon? Perhaps that is where they are keeping Flopsy.
The muffled noises are now more distinct. It sounds like irritated chittering. Mandibles perhaps?



“What do we do boss?”

1
Well, that is a good question. What do you do?
Tommy is out of commission for now. Yet everybody else is still going strong.
As always you can question the recruits that are present and able, you can delegate tasks or perform whatever action you think is necessary yourself. Or you could simple come up with a plan of attack and hope for the best. It's up to you!

Wentley
Feb 7, 2012


Maybe we can send word back that we found his . . . thing and he can come fetch it.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Hrm.

Ask Konnie to peer harder and try to approximate how many figure there are standing there.

Mayhaps we should take a bit more analytical approach here? Try to figure how these things tick. Maybe these monsters, being plants, aren't that active in the darkness. Maybe we should make Konnie crawl under the sheets and take a few tentative steps inside, to see if they react in any way. And if they do, then leave.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Toss a torch in there.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

PLEASE do not torch the mission objective.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Send someone back to get help and take Konnie to a church asap

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

Peer Harder

You give Konnie the go ahead to get inside, see what he can see. You tell him to be careful and to not engage anything, he nods and is off.

Khami meanwhile has been investigating the nearby wagons. He returns to you with a rapport, some sort of poster in hand.



“Found this. Circus, featuring animals. That clown didn't look like a bandit, I suppose the vine was controlling it? Maybe they can control the animals as well. We better be on our guard.”



Your scout returns a minute later.



“Ain't no more clowns in there s'far as I can see, but I didn't get very far in on account of the sleeping bear.”

“Yeah, you heard me. Sleeping bear. There is something else further in too, something huge. Couldn't tell you what. Seems to be moving about. The chitterin we've been hearin is coming from the wagon in the centre. I'm betting a week of Tommy’s pay that that is where they are keeping Flopsy.”

He draws a rough oval on the ground and marks three areas of interest.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Surround the tent, cut the whole tent down and then pull the cloth off. We are not going in.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Nyaa posted:

Surround the tent, cut the whole tent down and then pull the cloth off. We are not going in.

I think this makes a heck of a lot of sense, if we can do it - shouldn't affect our quarry too much, and gives us a chance to be proactive for once.

stevey666
Feb 25, 2007


Arkanomen posted:

Toss a torch in there.

It may make more sense to pull the tent down but, drat, this sounds like a good idea to me.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Theantero posted:

PLEASE do not torch the mission objective.

This, on the other hand, sounds like a good idea to me.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

Big Top? Small Problem.

You briefly consider torching the whole place, wondering if perchance Flopsy is fireproof and doesn't need air to breath.
That idea strikes you as unnecessarially reckless though, especially considering your next train of thought provides you with a much more elegant solution.

Circus tents of this size take several hours to erect safely, and but a couple to take down and make ready for transport with a handful of men.
The Travelling Show lives and breaths on efficiency, but all the performers, stage-hands and personnel are gone. Mayhaps they fled the Vine, or lie dead in the wagons surrounding you.
You have not checked, so you do not know.

What you do know however is the quality and loyalty of the noble Dwarven Battleaxe.
Where else in the world can you find it's match in sharpness and utility? It's rich tradition of precise if wanton destruction.

You give the tent and Konnie's quickly drawn map one long, hard look. Your eyes glaze over as your accountancy training takes a hold of you.
Circumfence multiplied by height plus width and length, times the standard weight of cloth...

Something this big needs support both inside and out. You look around you, see the ropes coming down, attached to stakes dug deeply into the ground.

A motionless opponent offers no resistance.

Axe + Rope = Victory.





You stand around the collapsed ruins of a Circus Big Top Tent. From beneath the heavy canvass comes a terrible roar, but whatever is making it has no hope of escape.
Its struggles only serve to make your job easier as it pulls more and more of the cloth onto itself.

There are three distinct bumps in the brightly coloured fabric sea in front of you.
One large and bulky, roughly in the centre.
One where Konnie said the bear was sleeping, bear-sized and not moving.
One huge, enraged and entangled, off to one side.

Cleaning up this mess is a formality at this point. Tommy is unconscious but everyone else is doing fine.

1: How do you proceed?

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


[b]

1. Stake down the lumps. Give them enough canvas to roam with slack but keep them locked down.
2. Go and get two wagons that match the size of the moving and bear lump.
3. Herd the lumps into the wagons.
4. Seal them up
5. Cut the wagon lump free and examine
6. Get some animals to haul it home.

Tran
Feb 17, 2011

It's a pleasure to meet all of you. Especially in such a fine settin' as this. Just need us some music an' a brawl an' we'll be set.

Arkanomen posted:

1. Stake down the lumps. Give them enough canvas to roam with slack but keep them locked down.
2. Go and get two wagons that match the size of the moving and bear lump.
3. Herd the lumps into the wagons.
4. Seal them up
5. Cut the wagon lump free and examine
6. Get some animals to haul it home.


This but with the caveat that that anything that displays plantlike growth through holes/tears/whatever gets chopped into bits on the spot.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Yeah, stake down the moving lumps as per Ark's plan. Then cut free the wagon and check it for a giant arachnid. If arachnid is present, then take the wagon and return to the mansion. I don't think we should take unnecessary risks with the other lumps at the moment. Let's play it safe instead.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Wrap the whole tent like a big bag and hurl it back to the mansion.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

Gotta Catch 'Em All.

You order your men to stake down the various lumps and cut the wagon loose from the others, whilst you go scavenge the area for any other carts that could be used for transport.

Though there are eight carts in total, only two seem to be in working order. However, when you go to inspect one of them closer, a lose splinter catches itself in your hand and he resulting angry kick is the final straw for the wagons rotted axle. It crumbles like a house made out of toothpicks in front of you.

The other wagon is in a sorry state but you think it would hold for at least one trip, especially if you spend some time repairing it with the spare parts looted from the other nearby transports.

You return to your group to inspect their progress. Aside from getting even more entangled, there is no change to rapport for the other lumps in the area, but the central one is ready to be uncovered.

Khami stands ready to pull down the curtain, but Konnie stops him.



“Hold on, what say we make this a friendly wager?”
“One weeks pay says Flopsy is a giant spider. Any takers?”

Your group murmurs, only Khami seems interested.



“Ah, I do not think it is a spider. Perhaps a scorpion?”

1: Do you want to get in on the bet?

2: Whatever the case, you only have one spare wagon besides Flopsy's, so which other lump do you want to attempt to take with you?

3: Do you spend an extra two hours (estimate) on repairs? Do note that is already pretty late, around midnight. The sooner you get Tommy home the better.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug



1. No, gambling as the Boss sets a poor example.
2. Take the bear. It seems to be the less dangerous of the live monsters. We can kill the screaming thing and take it back in parts.
3. Yes. We won't get back to town any faster if a wagon breaks or one of our captures breaks free. We will also travel faster with good wagons and Tommy will fare better on a smoother ride.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



1) No
2) Angry thing
3) Yes

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006

Can I say "shit" around the baby?


Grimey Drawer

1: No
2: Angry thing
3: Yes

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

1: No
2: Let's not take unnecessary risks. A vine clown was almost too much for us, I don't want to risk it with a goddamn vine bear.
3: No. Let's just take Flopsy and scram. We should get Tommy treatment as well.


Let's not take unnecessary risks on our first mission guys. Like, what would we even do with a live monster bear? We certainly have no place to keep it, and we know of no bounties for it. What is the reasoning for taking such a huge risk for basically no reward (that we know of)?

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Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003


Nyaa posted:

1) No
2) Angry thing
3) Yes


This

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