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Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


A I


3.
J. The Holy Bureaucracy really needed a Gnome to become a paladin to balance the census trends of Gnomes not taking up crusades.
K. The Secret Inquisition. A Gnome taking up the holy sword is something of a hidden blasphemy and in certain heretical texts foretells some coming doom.

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Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


GloriousDemon posted:

Looks like Skvababt is our 'charming rogue' even if it is the grossest way possible, the girl is oozing sex drugs. But looks like we can also get hides and field armor from slain monsters if we take her, and with the added bonus of being the most functional wilderness scout our party is less likely to get knocked off eating something poisonous.

Pretty sure she worked with a cannibal or something making skin lamps. Do not trust the frog.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


We could take the Gnome as a sort of canary. Send him in first to get excited and set off any traps or find out just how that particular swamp dragon manages to liquefy so many adventures (It's acid breath and the Gnome just ran up and slapped it).

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Theantero posted:

Or we could fill that slot with someone who will be useful as more than a distraction

We can always just get another gnome.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Wentley posted:

Yeah, that was my thought. HiHo ChiRho's plan of taking the brothers as well might work. They know how to work together.

But they could also plot together. We need to be in charge.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


he's a teifling or something with cloven hooves.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Break its legs, then interrogate it. Then double tap and burn the body after harvesting

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


DONT TRUST CLOWNS. DOUBLE TAP AND BURN THE BODY

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Cut the vine, have someone dig out the remainder from the infected man. Apply fire to the clown.


It's the only way to be sure.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Make sure no one is showing any strange injuries or is infected by whatever that was

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Toss a torch in there.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


[b]

1. Stake down the lumps. Give them enough canvas to roam with slack but keep them locked down.
2. Go and get two wagons that match the size of the moving and bear lump.
3. Herd the lumps into the wagons.
4. Seal them up
5. Cut the wagon lump free and examine
6. Get some animals to haul it home.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug



1. No, gambling as the Boss sets a poor example.
2. Take the bear. It seems to be the less dangerous of the live monsters. We can kill the screaming thing and take it back in parts.
3. Yes. We won't get back to town any faster if a wagon breaks or one of our captures breaks free. We will also travel faster with good wagons and Tommy will fare better on a smoother ride.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Throw flame at the thing until it backs off while we book it. Finish up business and wait for a job offer comes in asking to deal with a raging monster near the old circus.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


1. b
2. We need more background and training. We should get some monster manuals, maybe but the word out for an old veteran to come by and teach for a week. Maybe set up a practice arena and get a zoo of some slimes to practice against.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


We should have haggled for more cash at the gate. They would have paid double after we told them that "The recovery team encountered danger well and beyond what was expressed in the contract and as such they are subject to hazard pay penalties as per paragraph 5 subsection ..."

You don't just 'give' back the target, you gotta make some dosh off it!

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Everyone should get some form of basic first aid training at the first possible chance. We should L also put together a basic "Welcome to monster hunting. Here are some basic things to know." Training. A weeks worth of training. Enough to cover enough gaps so everyone is at least a basic level of skill.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


An Attic is an enclosed space.

Smoke'em out

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Just burn it down on principle. Public nuisance it is.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug



Its full of cults and the lady is shady as all get out, its an obvious adventurer trap at worst and a run down old hoarder house to begin with. It's bringing down property values all over the block and is an eye-sore. To the flame, I SAY!

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Ah yes, a toll dear demonic painting. I have just the thing for you. A riddle, and if you guess the answer you win a prize as well.

"I eat most everything fed to me,
and for a time I grow.
Feed me too little and I will die,
and something to drink is a no.
I snap and I spit, but no mouth will you find,
and without me you would be blind"

What am I?


The answer is burn the painting

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Ask how much is owed, then negotiate that down. Return to the old lady and tell her you can remove the problem but its going to cost 150% of the original demon asking price.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


A D

Discuss with client first. Remember to downplay our fees and get her to sign penalty clauses should she prove to be a bad creditor again.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


B

I'm assuming we get a cut of the savings we wrangle for our client. This church is all about the deal so they wouldn't expect anything less than us fighting for our client. If they try to pull the "but we're a church, be merciful" line we can call them on sending a demonic repossession crew at an only woman so who's really the bad guy? We are just the middle man but we should take care to protect ourselves from getting any of the debt on us. And always, insist on getting everything in writing and sign nothing until it's notarized and reviewed.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Greet the Dog

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


When in doubt, toss fire about. Throw a torch at it!

It's a shame it's not a little darker so we could see if the thing casts a shadow. Some smoke may help in tracking. I also want to see if it's forcefield deflects objects based on speed.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Continual ranged harassment while ranged weapon users hammer it.

We cannot engage in melee. We don't know if it's toxic to touch. We can keep it shifting direction and attention by throwing rocks etc. so it can't get close with those claws. Be ready for some acid vomit or other terrible crap, but it's a bear. Just harass it until it's dead, or tired enough we burn it.

I'm thinking that some undead realm is leaking into the world, or maybe the veil between the mundane and spiritual is thinning, allowing celestial repo men and weindigo-bears to sneak through. Poor dog.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


E! THEN LOOT THE poo poo OUT OF THAT CAVE

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


FOOF! THERE IT IS!

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Offer a prayer to the secret God of Gnomish Destruction Grand Kah and his consort Lady Boom in the hopes they accept this hell wrought by Gnomish hands with favor.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


nothing to seehere posted:

A go and look for horses now, while they are close by. Once we've found them, investigate the cave

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Stealing a little

C

E: 2: E: ...as having occurred the Day of the Month for reasons of Live Processing into Owlbear Baby Formula. To whit the form was found by ITEC at [rough location of cave goes here].

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


F. Harvest it all while we hunt down the horses and then bury the loot in a hidden spot nearby. We can collect it on the way back

2.I

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Investigate further!

Toil demands we do due diligence and make sure we arrest the right man. Investigate his locker, investigate them all. Pat downs, desk rummages, golem poking!

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Keep the engine for now. Anyone with a basic knowledge of business knows that having capital tied up in durable, high wealth and useful equipment is worth any short term potential liquidity gain.

It is a earned reward from Toil. Hard work begets a tool with which to perform more intense and needed labors. We have big armored game to hunt. The gods have answered. Don't look a gift dwarf in the beard.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Roll Accounting on which ventures have the highest risk/reward ratio.


The mountain is too far. One week in travels to only begin to make wealth isn't worth the risk.

Big Game is nice, but I doubt the healing involved and tracking time is too costly.

Incidents at home like the slime factory and blockade are close to home, easily knocked out and can turn a profit quick.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


I

KILL IT
KILLITKILITKILLITKILLIT
KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT
KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


A Challenge then?
Eat a Cupcake and solve our own problems.

Give the gods a little show. To be mortal is to break fate.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


The presence is our Ballista

Turn to heal the champion

We are a dwarf. We craft and fix and mend machines of war all the time. We're an accountant but a dorf is a dorf.

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Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


SHOOT THE SNAKE

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