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tao of lmao

You suddenly decide this flying carpet doesn't work anymore? Despite it working for like the last 2 years of this campaign?? And you decided to do this exactly as the party is hovering over an acid pit??? And now you're telling me to roll a dex saving throw???? You know my dex is only 5 wtf.

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tao of lmao

DM: You stand at the edge of a tall cliff. Would you like to get a better look?

Me: No, i'm good

DM: You feel strangely compelled to peer over the edge.

Me: N..NO!

DM: You want to jump, you have nothing left to live for. You want to end this wretched life.

Me: [crying] no i want to live!

DM: You companions agree this is a good idea.

Me: What?

Everyone else: It's true.

tao of lmao

I've rolled like 20 characters and never made it to level 2. The party is 18.

tao of lmao

social vegan posted:

DM: The orc rolls for intuition anddd it's a perfect 20

Orc: "I...I think Robert never stopped wetting the bed until ninth grade"

Robert: heh, whoah! Which one of you was named Robert?

lol

tao of lmao

joke_explainer posted:

'Rogue: Alright, we climb down the hole, using the grappling hook and rope to slow our descent, using the ever bright rod for light.'

'DM: Alright. You proceed further into the dungeon. Roll a fortitude save.'

*rolls*

'DM: Alright. Everyone passes out, and sixteen rounds later, is dead.'

*confusion, complaints*

'Wizard: What the gently caress? Why?'

'DM: The dungeon foreman was performing a nitrogen flush of this area of the dungeon to prevent oxidization damage to chests etc. You guys entered a confined space without a permit or sufficient knowledge about the situation, and asphyxiated due to lack of oxygen. The ever bright rod doesn't require oxygen to burn, regular torches might have tipped you off. Inattention to detail can be deadly.'

DM: Didn't you see the sign?

Wizard: No, you never told us there was a sign.

DM: Shoulda rolled perception...

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