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Hey y'all. Bit of background first before I start posting pictures and what not. My grandpa's a cotton farmer out in west Texas, and whenever we visit he sends us stuff home from his garden. Mostly tomatoes and zucchini and other squashes. Well, he's getting on up in years and he can't see very well, which is how we ended up taking home a monster with us. And I'm not making GBS threads you when I say a monster; the god drat thing is huge. I have an eggplant puttanesca recipe that I plan on bastardizing for most of the stuff (it's based off of one of the Blue Apron cards I've done before, sue me). But I'll be good god damned if I can't figure out what to do with Zucchilla. I want to make something with it that'll make him proud and that I'd actually want to eat. What the hell should I do with the thing? Bake it? Use it as a means of applying blunt force trauma to someone to gain access to their pantry? Anyway, here's the pictures I snapped with my camera phone tonight after a bit of drunken trivia and pool.  That's one of the regular zucchinis that he sends, although this batch is larger than usual. That's an unopened regular-sized loaf of bread for size comparison, since I had neither a quarter nor a banana on size for scale. I apologize.  And that is Zucchilla. I have no idea how tasty it's going to be, or how good it actually is, or how long the son of a bitch is going to last before it spoils. It might survive a meteor hitting the planet for all I know.  There it is sitting next to the smaller, weaker zucchini. I try to keep it separated from the rest of the herd, lest they begin worshiping it as some sort of deity and rise up.  I am not a small man and the drat thing is a cubit long. So, yeah. Suggestions? Recipes? I'll try just about anything once. And it'd be a waste for this to, well, go to waste.
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Oct 14, 2015 06:00
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:33 |
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Holy gently caress that is a big zucchini  I'd stuff that badboi personally but I'm sure there is 100 other cool things to do with it How much does that thing freaking weigh??
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Oct 14, 2015 06:13
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Nooner posted:Holy gently caress that is a big zucchini More than the loaf of bread? About the only thing I have to compare it to is a half-empty carton of milk. The only reason it ended up as big as it did was because my grandpa's half-blind and it was buried/hidden beneath some leaves.
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Oct 14, 2015 06:20
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I cooked with a bigass zucchini once. Baked a casserole with slices of the squash, crumbled sausage, a sort of tomato sauce, and some cheese. Unfortunately, the skin was pretty tough, and spread throughout the dish since I didn't think to remove it first. (I don't remember if the seeds were tender enough.) The flesh itself was great tho so definitely go to town, whatever you do with it!
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Oct 14, 2015 09:06
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dayum! I'd probably make lasagna, with zucchini instead of pasta. and I'd grill some (lengthwise strips, oil them, salt, pepper, thyme or any herb you like, stick it on a grill plate/bbq) and I'd ZOODLE!!! (sorry, couldn't resist the urge) paraquat fucked around with this message at 17:46 on Oct 14, 2015 |
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Oct 14, 2015 11:04
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My dad's garden produces monsters like that. It's glorious. He usually makes something like this with them, tasty as gently caress if you get enough moisture out so it isn't susper mushy.
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Oct 14, 2015 11:23
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I cut up zucchini into matchsticks and then sauté with a bunch of oil over high heat with some garlic, salt, and pepper until it caramelizes, almost until it's burned. It gets a nice roasty, sweet flavor and is great tossed in pasta, made into fritters, added in sandwiches, whatever, really (like caramelized onions). You probably want to cut the seeds/ middle of that monster zucchini out first before you do this, as that part is really watery and won't brown well. But this is a great way to use up a lot of zucchini and it's my absolute favorite thing ever.
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Oct 14, 2015 15:03
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Illinois Smith posted:My dad's garden produces monsters like that. It's glorious. Any tips on "getting enough moisture out"? Like, at all? Baking it seems to come up fairly often as a suggestion, so I might try to treat it like you would a butternut squash or a stuffed pumpkin. Plus_Infinity posted:I cut up zucchini into matchsticks and then sauté with a bunch of oil over high heat with some garlic, salt, and pepper until it caramelizes, almost until it's burned. It gets a nice roasty, sweet flavor and is great tossed in pasta, made into fritters, added in sandwiches, whatever, really (like caramelized onions). You probably want to cut the seeds/ middle of that monster zucchini out first before you do this, as that part is really watery and won't brown well. But this is a great way to use up a lot of zucchini and it's my absolute favorite thing ever. That would be what we down here in the south like to describe as "a shitpot full" of matchstick cutting. But it's an idea. I'm mostly leery of it due to the fact that it's not taking advantage of the absurd size of the drat thing. paraquat posted:dayum! No grill I'm afraid. I am a failure as a Texan I know, but I suppose I could broil some of it. Do you have any recipes you could toss my way for the zucchini lasagna?
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Oct 14, 2015 15:34
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Just follow a moussaka recipe, replace eggplant with the king zuc, and lamb with beef if you want.
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Oct 14, 2015 17:45
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Yah, zucchini lasagna sounds good to me, taking advantage of the big strips you can get off the thing. Toss the strips/slices with a bit of olive oil, salt, and pepper and roast at 450 F for a little before putting into the lasagna so you can cook off some of the water content first, and then you can use it in pretty much any lasagna recipe. I would probably do half zucchini/half noodles cause I love noodles.
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Oct 14, 2015 19:31
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I'm sure you could do the salting and rinsing before using thing to remove a lot of water, too, like it eggplant or cabbage. Also you need to make zucchini bread or cake with some of it. Basic zucchini bread freezes pretty well I think.
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Oct 14, 2015 19:51
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Slice it in to thin strips how, exactly...?
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Oct 14, 2015 20:01
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...with a knife? Cut the thing in half lengthwise, peel if it's really thick or tough skin, and scoop out seeds with a spoon (I assume both the skin and seeds will be pretty developed and possibly unpleasant at this point) Then just cut thin strips? Or use a mandolin. Or just cut into big rounds if you don't want to bother with any of that I guess
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Oct 14, 2015 20:09
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Mail it to me and I'll have my girlfriend take the zucchini challenge
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Oct 15, 2015 00:20
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Crusty Nutsack posted:I'm sure you could do the salting and rinsing before using thing to remove a lot of water, too, like it eggplant or cabbage. Seconding the cake and bread idea. We had a similar zuch a few years ago that got lost under a leaf and the goddamn thing was as big as my thigh from hip to knee. I'm still sick of zuchinni. Edit: I think we got 2 loaves of bread and one cake out of it
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Oct 15, 2015 19:36
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When I was in college my mom gave me a zucchini like that. One night I came home from work late (like 2 a.m.) and the front door of my apartment was cracked open, as though someone was inside. I very quietly reached down to the box by the door and picked up the zucchini, figuring that a good wallop with a squash would at least surprise an intruder. When she saw that my girlfriend at the time fell out from behind the door laughing like a maniac. I think I ended up stuffing the squash.
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Oct 15, 2015 20:15
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I don't suppose any of y'all mentioning recipes could, like, link to some? Because I really have no loving clue what I'm doing. No, really. I learned how to cook while camping in the Boy Scouts and while I can follow a recipe pretty well I kind of need to have a good recipe to start with. I'm not quite on the level of "put hot dog in ramen, crack egg in ramen, eat ramen" but you can see it from where I am. It's the same reason why I asked the "how" regarding making the zucchini noodles; I haven't the knife skills to actually accomplish that. Granted, I might have a mandolin somewhere that I can use... Anyway, I finally finished up the puttanesca bastardization that I mentioned previously, substituting the smaller of the two zucchinis in the pictures above for the original eggplant. I figure that if this is the cooking board there's bound to be someone better out there that can further gussy up my attempt. WHORE'S GARBAGE BASTARD No really it's a play on words, since it's a bastardization of a Puttanesca recipe and that means whore or garbage... god drat it it was funnier in my head Fixin's * 8 ounces of Rigatoni (or some other pasta I guess I like rigatoni) * 4+ Ounces of Cherry Tomatoes (I think I used up closer to half a pound of the heritage tomatoes my grandpa sent, if only to get through the bastards that much faster; when a dying man gives you the contents of his garden you're going to loving eat that garden) * 3+ Garlic Cloves * 1 1/4+ Pound Zucchini (I don't bother to weigh stuff, this is just me trying to guestimate based off of the recipe that had originally called for eggplant) * 1 Red Onion * 1 Bell Pepper * 1 Pound Ground Pork * 1 Bunch Oregano (guess what flavorful weed I didn't have on hand when I made this!) * 2 Tablespoons Butter * 2 Tablespoons Tomato Paste * 1+ Tablespoon Capers (Truth be told? I could have been heavier on the capers; I had put in just a tablespoon of them, feel free to go larger) * 1/3 Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese * 1/4 Teaspoon Red Pepper Flakes (or more. I like the stuff) Preppin' * Get a pot of water boiling. * Large dice the zucchini and the bell pepper, and thinly slice the garlic. * Wedge-cut the onion; depending on the size of the onion you might want to halve it first before cutting the wedges. Up to you. Toss the onion, bell pepper, garlic, and the red pepper flakes in to a bowl and set aside. * If you're using cherry tomatoes, halve the suckers. If not, cut the tomatoes in to a size roughly corresponding to a halved cherry tomato. Toss in a large bowl with the capers and 1/2 cup of water. * Pluck the oregano off the stems; toss most of the oregano (save some for a garnish) in to a bowl along with the butter and the Parmesan cheese. Cookin' * In a large pan toss in some olive oil and heat it up medium-high-ish. Chunk in the ground pork and cook until it won't kill you if you eat it; browning is a good thing, 6 or so minutes. Pepper it up while you're cooking it, and once it's done scoop it out and add it to the same bowl as the tomatoes and the capers, leaving the fond and the oil in the pan. * In the same pan that you cooked the pork in toss in the zucchini. Season it with salt and pepper (mostly pepper) until it's browned; 4-6+ minutes. Transfer the zucchini to the same bowl as the pork, cherry tomatoes, and the rest. * While that's going on, feel free to cook the pasta according to its instructions; I would suggest, however, taking it off a little earlier than suggested since you want it to be a little more firm than al dente when it's all said and done. Reserve around a cup and a half of the cooking water and then drain the pasta. NOTE: Depending on the amount of stuff you add in, and the size of your pan, you might be better off doing the rest of this in the now-empty pasta pot. That's what I ended up doing. * Same pork-and-zucchini flavored pan as before, add in a little more olive oil if required and heat it up on medium-high. Dump in the bowl of onion, bell pepper, etc and salt it a bit while it cooks. Stir it for 3-5 minutes; you want the onion to be softened but not caramelized. Add in the tomato paste and stir like the god drat dickens for a minute or two - you want it to be red. * Add in the bowl of tomatoes, pork, and zucchini; season it up as you'd like. Stir it up until it's thickened and starting to look like a sauce. This took around 4-6 minutes for me. * Add in the mostly-cooked pasta as well as the butter/cheese bowl and half of the reserved pasta water. Stir it over the heat for 2-4 minutes or until the pasta's completely coated in the stuff. If it's looking a little dry, add in more of the pasta water. If it's not, don't add in the pasta water. Then take it off the heat. Garnish it with oregano and Parmesan cheese. Serving Size: gently caress if I know. The original recipe said that it made two servings but I actually stretched it out over three meals. What I ended up with with this version could probably serve 4-5. Now I just need to figure out what to do with the REST of the fuckin' tomatoes, zucchini, and Zucchilla itself.
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Oct 15, 2015 23:27
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Fetus Tree posted:Mail it to me and I'll have my girlfriend take the zucchini challenge what uh .... dare I ask what uh exactly is this challenge?
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Oct 15, 2015 23:46
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Nooner posted:
Well, the idea -I- had was challenging folks to figure out wtf to do with King Zucchini up there. Whatever anyone else dreams up is on them.
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Oct 16, 2015 01:07
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Nooner posted:
idk shes a professional cook and the area manager for a small local chain of restaurants so i bet she'd whip up somethin nice
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Oct 16, 2015 01:18
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A good lasagna bolognese is amazing and would be a good base to start your zucchini version.. Make extra sauce, it freezes well. http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2012/02/lasagna-bolognese/ http://fxcuisine.com/Default.asp?language=2&Display=152&resolution=high Here is a pretty simple zucchini recipe I did recently that was quite good. I had to cook it longer than the recipe called for to sufficiently brown though. http://food52.com/recipes/37393-canal-house-s-marinated-zucchini
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Oct 16, 2015 05:37
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mich posted:A good lasagna bolognese is amazing and would be a good base to start your zucchini version.. Make extra sauce, it freezes well. Oh hey, this'll work out great! I found my mandolin so getting the lasagna shouldn't be a problem. Any suggestions on how thick I should cut slice the strips? Same as the pasta, or should I go thicker/thinner? Also, any suggestions for recipes re zucchini bread and cake? I really don't have the knowledge set to tell the good from the bad. Mostly looking for an entry level one I suppose.
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Oct 16, 2015 20:10
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This is the quick bread recipe I use for most any kind of fruit/veggie mush (banana, apple, carrot, zucchini, etc.). It's pretty easy/barebones, I think. It's also nice that it uses up a decent amount of whatever you are trying to get rid of.Quick Bread Recipe posted:Ingredients Also, last year a coworker was bringing in bomber zucchini and someone mentioned they could be used to make mock apple pie ... Peeler for size ref  Cooked down with a few tbsp of lemon juice and a bit of salt til softened (yep, lovely plastic bowl, was the largest one I had)  Mixed with usual pie spices, sugar, and thickener (I used flour, should have used corn starch since it released a LOT of juice)  Not bad for my first pie  It actually went over pretty well, enough that I ended up making a second one v  v I think the texture is the most off-putting part since it doesn't cook down the same way as apples.
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Oct 17, 2015 14:18
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We call giant zucchini marrows in the UK if that helps googling recipes. My mum would bake them stuffed with rice.
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Oct 17, 2015 15:23
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:33 |
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citybeatnik posted:Oh hey, this'll work out great! I found my mandolin so getting the lasagna shouldn't be a problem. Any suggestions on how thick I should cut slice the strips? Same as the pasta, or should I go thicker/thinner? I wouldn't go super thin on the zucchini because after you roast it, it'll shrink some. So not the paper thin setting on your mandolin but one or two steps up depending on how graduated your mandolin is. 1/8" or so. I haven't made this before but I just remembered reading this before and Smitten Kitchen is typically pretty good: http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2011/08/zucchini-fritters
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Oct 18, 2015 14:24
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