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limp dick calvin
Sep 1, 2006

Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.
The guy crying on the radio station was pretty excellent

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Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007

Spanish Castle Magic

in world war I primitive tanks carried bundles of sticks on the front of their hulls which they dropped into trenches so they could cross them and the term for these objects is "fascines" but they could also be termed "enormous faggots" and basically if a wwI tank ever goes to mars and needs to cross the Valles Marineris it should strap heebie-gbs to the front of its hull

KiteAuraan
Aug 5, 2014

JER GEDDA FERDA RADDA ARA!



God that's 2extreme4D&D serious posting right there. Like that is full on "Minimum Security" crazy, Stephanie McMillan rear end crazy. 10/10, good posts.

Yvershek
Nov 15, 2000

and there are no
diamonds in the
mine
This thread reminded me of EFront and the illustrious Sam Jain. Seems like he has moved up in the world as the FBI is offering $20,000 for his capture.

Links:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/dictionary.php?act=3&topicid=299
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Jain
https://www.fbi.gov/wanted/cyber/shaileshkumar-p.-jain/view


EDIT: Ha, the guy who leaked the ICQ logs still posts here.

Yvershek fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Nov 16, 2015

Yvershek
Nov 15, 2000

and there are no
diamonds in the
mine

Consummate Professional posted:

The guy crying on the radio station was pretty excellent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OYZ04mCGCo

ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth

Pawn 17 posted:

:lol: I remember this one.

There have been several threads where goons (or lurkers) snitch on the OP. I remember one where some goon was asking for help shorting out his neighbors electricity or some poo poo by digging up the yard and adding in a little homemade device. Someone told the local cops and they were trying to print out the entire thread as evidence (which was massive). Anyone remember this?

I do, but the funny part is the white knight upset about the ops vigilantism was banned and then nothing happened to the op. Though the neighbor did get his tv destroyed. Overall a win for everyone.

ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth
All the meltdowns about bushman killing feral pigs are pretty good too.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Ringo Star Get posted:

I remember an old post where Lowtax talked about the types of browsers people used to access SA and they banned a guy for using WebTV.

That was radium.

quote:

About 91% of visitors are on Windows. Mac users make up 5% and Linux is 2%. The other 2% are permabanned IRC trolls browsing the forums with a text-based browser written in Ruby on OpenBSD. Oh yeah, we have one guy using WebTV but I banned him because WTF.

blainestereo
Jan 16, 2013

I forget, was the Bitcon Brazil Traveller guy a SA poster or a free range goon?

Bowlcutbarricade
Dec 27, 2014


Holy poo poo this kid is having a panic attack

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Bowlcutbarricade posted:

Holy poo poo this kid is having a panic attack
he was broadcasting live to an audience of goons, I can't imagine what it was like hearing it live

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
dude.

something awful used to hardcore.

Pawl
Sep 9, 2006

I'm seeing this from an AoS perspective.







white primer uber alles
Does anyone have a screencap of that YCS post where the guy called his parents and said "hey this is your human being son"

Crash_N_Burn
Apr 19, 2014

The hardest i've ever laughed at a series of posts on this forum was right after the last anonymous goon secrets thread, where a guy admitted to having sex with his paraplegic girlfriend without her knowledge. The anonymous post itself was terrible, but Triticum Guzzler's posts making fun of it turned it from something horrible into the funniest thing ever.

Original Confession posted:

Once many years ago I posted on GBS about this girl in a wheelchair that I met in college. She was asian and cute and being in a wheelchair brought out these protective instincts in me. My thread about her blew up and was really popular and it made me super uncomfortable having goons always asking about her in that thread and completely un-related threads. So I lied and said we weren't together anymore.

That wasn't true though, and we actually almost got married. After a few years of dating, we were in bed together and she was sleeping and I was really turned on. Our sex life was pretty non-existent because she didn't have any feeling in her vagina, so we only had sex rarely, most often it was her giving me a blowjob. But this had all petered out over the last few months.

So I was feeling really turned on and I had always wanted to have anal sex, so this one night I couldn't stop myself. I lubed up my penis and slow put it into her butt. She couldn't feel it so she didn't wake up, and it turned me on more than anything to feel like I was doing something forbidden without her knowledge. I came almost instantly in her butt.

Over the next two weeks I proceeded to gently caress her butt every night after she was asleep, becoming more and more rough as she continued to not wake up. But then something unimaginable happened. She started complaining about having anal incontinence. She went to the doctor and the doctor didn't know what had changed, and said she'd probably just have to wear diapers.

I was too scared to tell her the truth, and so ashamed that I ended up breaking up with her. She probably thinks it was because she had to start wearing diapers, but I know the real reason.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

PRIEST: Do you take this amalgam of every single one of the Burger King Kids Club Mascots at once to be your lawful wedded wife?
COOL GBS GOON: [in rodney dangerfield voice] Lawful I'm not so sure about but after 11PM I take what I can get

Triticum Guzzler posted:

GBS GOON: [viewing disabled anus through a high tech pair of binoculars] THis is Snake. I'm in front of the disposal facility...
A VOICE IN HIS HEAD THAT URGES HIM TO COMMIT CRIMINAL ACTS, I THINK IT'S THE UNCONSCIOUS LEAKING IN TO THE CONSCIOUS, WHAT JUNGIAN THEORY CONSIDERED TO BE THE CAUSE OF SCHIZOPHRENIC AND SCHIZOTYPAL SYMPTOMS: Excellent, Snake. Shame hasn't slowed you down one bit.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

VEGETA IN A WHEELCHAIR: Perhaps if you were raping me in the anus 100 times nightly, I might become fecally incontinent. But 10? I don't even feel it.
NOCTURNAL GBS RAPIST: [open mouthed anime gasps]

BossTweed
Apr 9, 2001


Doctor Rope

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

he was broadcasting live to an audience of goons, I can't imagine what it was like hearing it live

gbs.fm was(is?) actually pretty awesome. I found a lot of good music listening to that stream.

old beast lunatic
Nov 3, 2004

by Hand Knit

BossTweed posted:

gbs.fm was(is?) actually pretty awesome. I found a lot of good music listening to that stream.

Yeah i'd listen to it a lot too until the once a week 8 hour marathon of looping annoying as gently caress chiptune thing became a regular occurrence.

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005

ISILDUR's ERR

quote:

Kuuenbu posted:
1) I was off meds.
2) Part of me thought it would be funny but didn't know it would be streamripped and run into the ground.
3) see 1)

I hate goons and I hate troons for the obvious reasons stated but I think Lowtax is cool and I follow the things he does sometimes and also I know what it's like to think you might be a freak but really aren't so I'm realtalking from experience.

I'll bet I've listened to that once a year since it happened. Just incase anyone was curious about how famed radio goon Kuuenbu was doing as of 2014. I don't know much about physics but it seems a retard in motion will stay in motion unless

Myrddin_Emrys
Mar 27, 2007

by Hand Knit

BossTweed posted:

gbs.fm was(is?) actually pretty awesome. I found a lot of good music listening to that stream.

GBS.FM was awesome, I used to love trolling goons by putting on an endless stream of Erasure tracks. It had me giggling like a naughty school boy

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Crash_N_Burn posted:

The hardest i've ever laughed at a series of posts on this forum was right after the last anonymous goon secrets thread, where a guy admitted to having sex with his paraplegic girlfriend without her knowledge. The anonymous post itself was terrible, but Triticum Guzzler's posts making fun of it turned it from something horrible into the funniest thing ever.

lol the original guy who wrote the wheelchair thread denied it too, it's like gbs goon fan fiction written 10 years after publication

Girthy
Mar 4, 2008
I was reading some article a while back about birth defects and it reminded me of that guy Dan Lirette who had a baby born with anecephaly that goons tortured and eventually got to create an account on the forums. That was a fun little romp.

MSPain
Jul 14, 2006
I don't think I'm going to come to this website any more.

limp dick calvin
Sep 1, 2006

Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.
Hey while GBS.FM is being talked about one time I heard a song on there and a guy yelled "there's Charlie's in the trees!!" and then it went into a wild beat of like helicopter gunfire. Does anyone know what that was?

Also seraph84 in the POS Bitcoin thread was kinda funny until you realized how truly unstable he is. Recommend. He spent a ton of money on rereging

BossTweed
Apr 9, 2001


Doctor Rope

Consummate Professional posted:

Hey while GBS.FM is being talked about one time I heard a song on there and a guy yelled "there's Charlie's in the trees!!" and then it went into a wild beat of like helicopter gunfire. Does anyone know what that was?

I'm pretty sure that's "Army Dreamers" by Kate Bush. One of my favorite songs, and I think I heard it for the first time on gbs.fm

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Uncle Wemus posted:

whats his forum name these days

Egbert Swiss or something.

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

Consummate Professional posted:

Also seraph84 in the POS Bitcoin thread was kinda funny until you realized how truly unstable he is. Recommend. He spent a ton of money on rereging

he is currently regging an account a day p.much to post about star citizen lmao

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

Powercrazy posted:

All the meltdowns about bushman killing feral pigs are pretty good too.

I like how GBS 1.0 posters drove him off, then years later when the forum is dieing everyone is confused as to how this could be

combee
Nov 17, 2007

it's the combee's knees!
what about the girl who didn't shower (several goons tried to explain the need to shower more frequently and regularly to her and she didn't seem to get it), ate her own hair and used to blog everytime she had sex

she was really greasy looking

Node
May 20, 2001

KICKED IN THE COOTER
:dings:
Taco Defender

combee posted:

what about the girl who didn't shower (several goons tried to explain the need to shower more frequently and regularly to her and she didn't seem to get it), ate her own hair and used to blog everytime she had sex

she was really greasy looking

i was too busy furiously masturbating to remember

THE PWNER
Sep 7, 2006

by merry exmarx

texaholic posted:

Haha, thanks the Internet seemed so much more naive back then. People didn't realize how easy it is to track down someone. Can't imagine something like that happening nowadays.

nah it's just because there's too many search terms. You wouldn't find poo poo googling "redfox" today except about 500000 different people

DiggityDoink
Dec 9, 2007
bring back helldump/lf

DiggityDoink
Dec 9, 2007
if not that at least allow callout threads again. people remember shitlords like two worlds and beastuk specifically because they could get called out and not just banned

THE PWNER
Sep 7, 2006

by merry exmarx

DiggityDoink posted:

if not that at least allow callout threads again. people remember shitlords like two worlds and beastuk specifically because they could get called out and not just banned

shitlords a bit offensive to those of us with fecal incontinence

PCOS Bill
May 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

THE PWNER posted:

shitlords a bit offensive to those of us with fecal incontinence

If you're fecally incontinent, you are NOT the lord of your poo poo.

shelley
Nov 8, 2010

combee posted:

what about the girl who didn't shower (several goons tried to explain the need to shower more frequently and regularly to her and she didn't seem to get it), ate her own hair and used to blog everytime she had sex

she was really greasy looking

Is this Barbako, or were there TWO hosed up lady goons like this

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

shelley posted:

Is this Barbako, or were there TWO hosed up lady goons like this

yeah its Barbako

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
all pro sexman has the best username.

Puppy Galaxy
Aug 1, 2004

Orkin Mang posted:

all pro sexman has the best username.

Too bad about his posts

20matar
Jul 9, 2013

70fugir

Orkin Mang posted:

all pro sexman has the best username.

I liked TURN LEFT DALE! NOO. I can't remember his posts, though.

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro
Dad gay. So What is my favorite current username.


But gaydolf Shitler made me laugh the hardest the first time I saw it

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Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Orkin Mang posted:

all pro sexman has the best username.

I think SWBM has the best user name. Or it at least makes me laugh thinking about it

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