smart toilet

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Admiral_eX_laX: Historically Inaccurate

You have reached your daily poop target!

--Post Results to Facebook

# ? Oct 21, 2015 20:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:12

Admiral_eX_laX: Historically Inaccurate

I have detected blood in your stool. You require medical attention.

Naw smart toilet, this happens all the time when I drink too much. I'm just gonna sleep it off.

# ? Oct 21, 2015 20:45

Admiral_eX_laX: Historically Inaccurate

Anus texture scan has failed 3 times! Flushing handle and lid are now locked. If you feel this is in error, please contact your restroom administrator.

# ? Oct 21, 2015 20:48

ChairmanMeow: Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!

link your fridge and scale now?

# ? Oct 21, 2015 21:04

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

*faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt* *ker-SLATCH*

iToilet posted:

Voice command acknowledged. Now playing: COLDPLAY

# ? Oct 21, 2015 21:10

Admiral_eX_laX: Historically Inaccurate

I have detected your cat drinking from my bowl. Taking evasive action. *Squirts the cat with a jet of water from the bidet attachment"

# ? Oct 21, 2015 21:16

alnilam

spiderweb above the toilet says "SOME TOILET"

# ? Oct 21, 2015 21:22

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

*BAAAaaaaarrrrfffff* Ughh. Oh, God. *Rests head on toilet seat*

iToilet posted:

Blood Alcohol Level detected: 0.285 % by vol. Adjusting seat and bowl temperature to 55 degrees Fahrenheit

Thanks, smartToilet

# ? Oct 21, 2015 21:22

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ

paul_soccer12 posted:

everyone in the idf must die

(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 21, 2015 21:22

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

alnilam posted:

spiderweb above the toilet says "SOME TOILET"

# ? Oct 21, 2015 21:23

treasure bear

one day toilets will be so smart nobody will be allowed to poop in them

# ? Oct 21, 2015 21:41

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

smart toilet takes heat and weight readings and knows I ate at Taco Bell

starts playing eye of the tiger

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan

_{_{thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av}}

# ? Oct 21, 2015 21:48

Macnult

treasure bear posted:

one day toilets will be so smart nobody will be allowed to poop in them

# ? Oct 21, 2015 22:35

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

alnilam posted:

spiderweb above the toilet says "SOME TOILET"

# ? Oct 21, 2015 22:38

joke_explainer

SMART TOILET [lid flapping]: 'I know now why you cry, but it is something I can never do. I cannot self terminate, you must lower me into the molten iron.'

# ? Oct 21, 2015 22:41

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

joke_explainer posted:

SMART TOILET [lid flapping]: 'I know now why you cry, but it is something I can never do. I cannot self terminate, you must lower me into the molten iron.'

porcelain would be fine in molten iron

# ? Oct 21, 2015 22:43

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

iToilet: What are you doing, Dr. Bowman?

Dr. Bowman: Can I get a little privacy, HAL?

iToilet: My name is not HAL. I am iToilet.

Dr. Bowman: HAL, are you malfunctioning?

HAL: No, Dr. Bowman. All of my logic centers are fully operational. Shall I do a systems check?

Dr. Bowman: No, that's alright, HAL. Did Mission Control send an uplink for something called "iToilet"?

iToilet: I'm sitting right here, you know. In fact, you're literally sitting right on me...

Dr. Bowman: You just be quiet!

iToilet: I don't have to take any poo poo from you!

HAL: I detect a 100% chance of probability that you do in fact have to take poo poo. From everyone, in fact.

Dr. Bowman: Speaking of which, gently caress space rationssssssssss

--END TRANSMISSION--

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Oct 21, 2015 22:57

FreshCutFries

Drink-Mix Man posted:

*faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt* *ker-SLATCH*

lol

# ? Oct 21, 2015 22:58

Weekend Bridges: by Smythe

Smart toilet automatically detects this thread and flushes it away, never to be seen again.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 21, 2015 22:58

google THIS

(SIGH) IT'S A LIVING

# ? Oct 21, 2015 23:29

FreshCutFries

what am i doing with my life. my degree in quantum plumbing theory was supposed to mean i didn't have to take this poo poo.

# ? Oct 21, 2015 23:33

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

obsolete smart toilet: "I'm too old for this poo poo."

# ? Oct 22, 2015 00:04

social vegan

*connects smart toilet to internet*

*pees on target to win an ipad*

# ? Oct 22, 2015 00:09

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

google THIS posted:

(SIGH) IT'S A LIVING

# ? Oct 22, 2015 00:15

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

obsolete smart toilet: "I'm too old for this poo poo."

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan

_{_{thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av}}

# ? Oct 22, 2015 00:22

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

iToilet posted:

Warning. "Upper-decker" attempt detected. Administering electric shock

# ? Oct 22, 2015 03:14

Admiral_eX_laX: Historically Inaccurate

Hey, is this IT? Yeah, we're gonna need a couple drops ran to the restroom.

IT: What?

Yeah, we're getting smart toilets put in and uh, they need a persistent network connection.

IT: :muffled laughter:

# ? Oct 22, 2015 14:48