Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Node posted:

Where can I find a summary of Star Citizen, Derek Smart, and how this whole debacle came to be?

I've always been ignoring the Star Citizen threads. I literally had no idea Derek Smart, Derek Smart, DEREK SMART! had anything to do with it until just now.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 01:52

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 19:03

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Lokee posted:

IT STARES INTO YOUR VERY SOUL.

if there was only a way to combine this with gotse....

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 02:44

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

star citizen is just an elaborate troll to crowdfund SA back into relevance

croberts and DS are hired crisis actors

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 02:48

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

that's no typo

http://www.mnrdaily.com/article/star.citizen.updates.opening.its.doors.to.potential.investors/5230.htm

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 03:21

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Karl_Ramseier posted:

http://www.compensationforce.com/2015/03/2014-turnover-rates-by-industry.html

roughly 15 % for the whole industry on a yearly basis.

http://www.thehrdirector.com/business-news/hr_in_business/staff-turnover-and-attrition-fall-salaries-up-in-games-industry/

Computer game industry.

Go figure yourself, I would be impressed if you can up with a rough estimate what would be normal for CIG's employment turnover. Keep in mind CIG was a start up and they pay less than average.
And don't forget we are at least 4 years in production according to our mighty internet warlord.

yeah sure turnover happens, especially in the lower echelons, but it doesn't look good when they are bleeding producers since they still haven't really produced anything

croberts is totally molyneuxing this up

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 23:11

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

quote:

From: Derek Smart dsmart@3000ad.com
To: lowtax@somethingawful.com
Cc: legal@3000ad.com
Sent: Wednesday, March 03, 2004 2:20 PM
Subject: UC parody review on SA

Lowtax,

I get the whole "parody" thing (always have) but please don't misrepresent what happened with the folks at eToyChest.

First of all, here is the review and comments and below is a statement that Michael "Cuthbert" Marks made. My comments about having my attorneys contact him had NOTHING to do with the review whatsoever. I don't give a toss about the review and this is quite clearly stated in my comments to the review on his website.

This comment in his forum, clearly states his intent as to the "review" of the game.

"I had actually planned on editing the review in regards to this, the morning after it was posted. Of course, when I got in to work, I saw the shitstorm he was brewing up here, and on his website, and decided to leave it how it was.

Like 99% of the gaming community, I was barely aware of who Derek Smart was before I started writing the review. I had played his other games, but I never paid attention to his hijinx. If I knew then what I know now, the review would have probably been more caustic than it was. The guy's a sociopathic bully, and that's the main reason why he can't get a good game released.

Oh, well. None of this even matters, really. The release of this game is a non-issue. Nobody cares. The only interesting thing that can come from this game's release is seeing how many lawsuits he ends up filing to cover up how bad his game is. That does seem to be his M.O., after all."

And there is parody and then their is libel. Stating as fact that I was convicted of bank fraud, is NOT funny - and I can 100% guarantee you, is not within the legal guidelines of fair use parody. Especially since you clearly describe the topic as an intent to libel. I am asking you nicely to please remove or rephrase it in your article.

And just so you don't go and - once again - type up poo poo that I didn't say, I have bcc'ed several third parties on this email.

Look, I know some of you think you're above the law because you are on the net, but I never have and never will take legal action against ANYONE in the media. But if you bastards make me set an example, it won't be a good one. And trust me - I don't think any of you have enough pennies to rub together to outspend me. So whatever you do, don't test my resolve. I'm NOT taking this poo poo anymore.

You will not get another email from me about this. Just remember that I did send it.

DS
__________________________________________________________________________
Derek Smart Ph.D.
Designer/Lead Developer
Universal Combat - The Future Of Engagement
Imagine It. Do it. No limits.

"Squirrels with very cold paws have less trouble getting into peanut
butter than the average uninitiated Homo Sapien has in getting into a
Battlecruiser game. - Tim Stone, PC Gamer #133 Review"
My reply:

From: lowtax@somethingawful.com
To: Derek Smart
Sent: Wednesday, March 03, 2004 4:19 PM
Subject: Re: UC parody review on SA

Dear Doctor Smart,

As per your request, I have changed the offending remark.

"When he was convicted of bank fraud in 1994"

has been altered to:

"When he was convicted of bank fraud and raping an entire petting zoo in 1994"

I hope this is satisfactory.

- Dr. Richard Kyanka, PHD

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 17:11

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

wyoak posted:

Has dsmart ever actually successfully sued anyone or is it all

Not to my knowledge but dsmart feel free to chime in otherwise. How'd that libel suit against lowtax go?

# ¿ Oct 29, 2015 19:51

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

how long until croberts himself appears to troll this thread

# ¿ Nov 5, 2015 03:14

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

The French Army! posted:

What the hell is gamergate anyhow? I don't follow any of this gaming garbage because I'm an adult with real hobbies, but a TLDR would be nice.

jaded ex-bf of a female dev made a livejournal-esque post about how said dev slept with games journalists to get better reviews & PR

internet dudes turned it into a misogynistic battle of stupid

that's really it in a nutshell

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 00:43

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

derek don't be loving stupid, jesus christ

vox day posted:

If the definition of rape is stretched so far to include women who have not given consent, then I am absolutely a serial rapist. So, too, is every man I know. And if that makes me a rapist, I shall endeavor to somehow survive with that upon my conscience

vox day posted:

First, there is no such thing as marital rape. Once consent is formally given in public ceremony, it cannot be revoked... If a woman believes in the concept of marital rape, absolutely do not marry her!

vox day posted:

a few acid-burned faces is a small price to pay for lasting marriages, stable families, legitimate children, low levels of debt, strong currencies, affordable housing, homogenous populations, low levels of crime, and demographic stability

vox day posted:

One thing that is becoming evident is that regardless of culture, women cannot be trusted to use contraception in a socially responsible manner. If it is left up to them, they will kill their societies rather than give up the pleasures of alpha-chasing. This indicates that it will not be left up to them very much longer, as societies that permit women to control their birth rates will prove to be unfit, decline demographically, and eventually expire, while those that control women will prove their fitness, remain stable or continue to grow, and expand to replace the dying societies.

vox day posted:

It is absurd to imagine that there is absolutely no link between race and intelligence.

vox day posted:

Jemisin has it wrong; it is not that I, and others, do not view her as human, (although genetic science presently suggests that we are not equally homo sapiens sapiens), it is that we simply do not view her as being fully civilized for the obvious historical reason that she is not.

She is lying about the laws in Texas and Florida too. The laws are not there to let whites � just shoot people like me, without consequence, as long as they feel threatened by my presence�, those self-defense laws have been put in place to let whites defend their lives and their property from people, like her, who are half-savages engaged in attacking them.

Jemisin�s disregard for the truth is no different than the average Chicago gangbanger�s disregard for the traditional Western code of civilized conduct. She could, if she wished, claim that privileged white males are responsible for the decline of Detroit, for the declining sales of science fiction, even for the economic and cultural decline of the United States, but that would not make it true. It would not even make it credible. Anyone who is paying sufficient attention will understand who is genuinely responsible for these problems.

Unlike the white males she excoriates, there is no evidence to be found anywhere on the planet that a society of NK Jemisins is capable of building an advanced civilization, or even successfully maintaining one without significant external support from those white males. If one considers that it took my English and German ancestors more than one thousand years to become fully civilized after their first contact with advanced Greco-Roman civilization, it should be patently obvious that it is illogical to imagine, let alone insist, that Africans have somehow managed to do the same in less than half the time at a greater geographic distance. These things take time.

Being an educated, but ignorant half-savage, with little more understanding of what it took to build a new literature by �a bunch of beardy old middle-class middle-American guys� than an illiterate Igbotu tribesman has of how to build a jet engine, Jemisin clearly does not understand that her dishonest call for �reconciliation� and even more diversity within SF/F is tantamount to a call for its decline into irrelevance.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 18:58

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

D_Smart posted:

Dude, seriously? "working with"? Isn't that a stretch?

Sure but you are the guy saying we need to keep an open mind while interacting with a mentally ill neonazi misogynist

by all means, go do the interview, but don't pretend that guy isn't a piece of poo poo

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 19:03

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 19:10

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

hitler was a pretty ok guy in my book
very forward thinking

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 19:11

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

D_Smart posted:

You guys are killing me here. So I'm supposed to ask for permission now to go have a chat with someone?

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 19:22

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

D_Smart posted:

I am just going to say it. I love all of you here. Simple reason being, even when we all don't agree on everything, even when poo poo goes to South real fast, it's just us. Remember, I was around back when Lowtax and me were, well, on opposite sides of the same retarded coin with both sides the same.

That said, I have read everyone's objections and while they are appreciated, I find them to be unfounded (I'm not going to say ridiculous, given that, well, this is the SA forum. everything is retarded) and without (I'm not doing this to support VD's opinions about anything, because those opinions are his) merit.

I will be fine. If nothing else, you all should come because you will be supporting me as I find yet another outlet to tell this Star Citizen story as well as the reasons I'm still engaged in it. So why not look at it that way?

Derek it's OK to be wrong sometimes. I believe in you. Do the right thing.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 19:38

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

hi i think black people are genetically inferior stock and white people need guns to keep these savages away from all of our cool stuff, want to come on my podcast and talk about games?

ps - no girls allowed

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 19:44

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 19:57

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Derek put your wife on the computer i want to show her vox day

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 20:49

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Security footage shows Lundin-Petterson marching through school corridors armed with a sword, and stopping to talk to light-skinned students, even posing for a picture with two of them who thought he was dressed up for Halloween.

'He selected his victims and attacked the dark-skinned ones and left the light-skinned ones alone,' lead investigator Thord Haraldsson said Friday.

'Everything points to this being a hate crime.'

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 21:49

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

ahhhh its so loving retarded it hurts

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 21:49

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Karl_Ramseier posted:

Oh yes it is, it is GLORIOUS. I can't stop laughing. Derek Smart, goon, is talking to a racist fucker. Have a nice week or so, we will make sure that this won't be forgotten in a week.

I like how you skipped all the questions about the new mocap studio

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 22:40

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

D_Smart posted:

3) Vox Day's site it not a "hate propaganda website"

can you back this up with facts

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 23:06

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

D_Smart posted:

I see. OK. I'll just leave then.

oh come on, you are too old to play the "i'll just take my ball home" card

gotta roll with the punches, bro

after all, you are about to appear on nazi radio live

# ¿ Nov 7, 2015 23:29

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

deutschland uber alles

# ¿ Nov 8, 2015 02:24

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

# ¿ Nov 8, 2015 19:13

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Toops posted:

This is my doge.

He was told he could live in a huge mansion, never wanting for anything, and paid $$$ for jpegs of this promised mansion. After incalculable delays, his mansion was delivered.

same

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 20:01

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

hey here's an idea for your anniversary sale

show some gameplay footage from your game

instead of more fictional descriptions of yet-to-be-designed systems on imaginary spaceship jpegs that costs hundreds of dollars of real life money

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 22:22

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

i like how none of the citizens ever questioned why sandi the no name "actress" with no credentials and a croberts marriage that was verboten to speak of landed on the same billing as professional actors with established careers

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 22:41

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

honestly those videos are pretty neat and the concept is every nerd's wet dream

it's unfortunate they'll never clear the technical hurdles to make this mess playable without all the lag and general jankiness, which seems like a deathknell for a game whose primary gameplay modes require low latency to be any fun

but hey, at least we'll get wing commander: the movie part 2, a modern sci fi epic that will transcend the lines between movies & games and usher in a new - PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRP

# ¿ Nov 24, 2015 21:28

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

D_Smart posted:

http://imgur.com/a/BIlWu

A Neurotic Jew posted:

I think Sandi was still really hurt by Beer's statement about SC backers potentially killing themselves and how that would be on Sandi's shoulders, and she's basically been waiting for an opportunity to tell him off ever since. It must suck when the people you want to be nasty to aren't CIG employees so you have to retain some measure of civility.

She's quite the narcissist. I mean we already knew that, but jesus hire a PR person to put a filter on you and your husband's emotional outbursts. For a world class teacher businesswoman actress marine biologist twaekondo master scuba diver rollerskater linguist, it comes off incredibly unprofessional and amateurish. And much like Croberts outburst to the escapist, the real question is don't you have anything better to do than waste time fighting with people on the internet?

Was there any response on reddit or the official forums? seems like it would be verboten but always fun to see them attempt to spin it

# ¿ Jan 6, 2016 19:07

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

The saddest part of this entire saga is that Sandi really and truly cannot act. :smith:

# ¿ Jan 7, 2016 02:13

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

grimcreaper posted:

Id switch Dredd and Zombieland, and then get rid of Crank.

Big Trouble in Little China is an epicly amazingly awesome movie. None of my friends have seen it and trying to convince them to watch it has been hard as hell

If you liked big trouble check out Dead Heat. 80s detective cop comedy about a gang that reincarnates people into zombies and uses them to rob jewelry store. Starring joe piscopo.

Also slap your friends for not appreciating the best decade of the 20th century.

In other SC news https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/40i9ml/disco_lando_on_starcast_108_private_servers_are/

Was this really something croberts promised or just wishful fan thinking?

# ¿ Jan 11, 2016 21:48

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

You're in luck!

Of course that was a year ago, and featured content by Illfonic, so naturally it's probably meaningless now.

Great read. Seems typical croberts madness; over-designed and nonsensically bad.

It seems like this entire project wouldn't be so far behind if they'd stop trying to reinvent the wheel for literally everything. But hey, immersion!

quote:

There are four ways players can be dragged:

Laying on their back, being dragged by their shoulders
Laying on their back, being dragged by their feet
Laying on their stomach, being dragged by their shoulders
Laying on their stomach, being dragged by their feet

The player doing the dragging uses both hands to pull the wounded player.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2016 21:54

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Dongattack posted:

edit: also Elite is good you cunts, if you want Euro Truck Simulator in space cause that's what it is. i love it in short bursts

Everyone should experience ED at least once, the flight model & complexity is really well done. It feels right.

The lack of substance beyond that made me trade it to a goon for a forum upgrade, but I'll probably purchase it again down the road once they fill in some more content.

Also because Braben good, give money now.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2016 18:07

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

would be interesting to hear exactly what games croberts played in his 10 year absence from the industry

# ¿ Jan 14, 2016 18:10

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

quote:

I think we should have a space zoo, with a vast ammount of living organism that we get to discover around the galaxy. And by that, it would be a nice feature to being able to some aliens on my carrack and sell then for someone who owns a space zoo.

what a silly question, of course there's going to be space zoos dummy

# ¿ Jan 14, 2016 19:28

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

If they totally probably maybe aren't considering any sort of console release, why do they have a ps4 devkit inhouse?

I like how crobber danced around that. Christ man use some backer funds to get a real PR firm involved, like the one that helped the lion murdering dentist. Probably better bang for your buck than your stylist and nutritionist who seem to be phoning it in anyways.

And the LTI chargeback shakedown is hilarious. Any competent company would eat that loss in the name of consumer goodwill... not to say there's even a real loss involved, but it speaks volumes to the levels of mismanagement at play at CIG, top to bottom.

I hope they get Werner Herzog to do the post-op documentary. That poo poo is going to be fascinating.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2016 14:54

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Tippis posted:

Don't you think the whole thing is weird enough without that kind of touch? Or are you suggesting that only he could possibly capture and convey the insanity of the whole thing?

Werner is clearly the only one who could do this justice.

quote:

I discovered a videogame film
of human ecstasies

and darkest inner turmoil.

As if there was
a desire in him

to leave the confinments
of his humanness

and bond with the 'verse

Roberts reached out,
seeking a Hollywood encounter

But in doing so, he crossed
an invisible borderline

and produced not game
nor a film

# ¿ Feb 3, 2016 15:40

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

yes why indeed citizens...

# ¿ Feb 3, 2016 18:48

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 19:03

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

i think we all need to join the stimpire. we'd totally make that guys day

# ¿ Feb 3, 2016 18:55

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