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Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Tarranon posted:

that part at the end of the usual suspects except he realizes he's been speaking to jpegs the entire time

The greatest trick the Croberts ever pulled was convincing the world Star Citizen existed.

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Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Kilmers Elbow posted:

I noticed that the star in the Castra system was apparently ejecting matter at super-luminal speeds.

e: actually they all are.

So, what you are saying is... Those stars go PAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP! ?

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


B_of_InfoRedux posted:

I don't really ever post my own poo poo, but here's an article I wrote awhile back about the start of the game, Chris Roberts, and where it was going if this helps: http://www.informationredux.com/index.php/2015/09/29/star-citizen-a-war-in-space-currently-being-wage-across-the-internet/

Also this, the pt 2: http://www.informationredux.com/ind...e-conversation/

Also, I really dig the layout. It gives me the article and supporting info in an easy to read format, but without a whole pile of clickbait dancing crap. Nicely done. Nicely done indeed.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


raverrn posted:

Meh, that's a pretty good ship concept. He's got solid gameplay behind it and a cool niche to fill, kinda the opposite of NEWS VAN. I'd play that ship in a competent and complete space MMO.

Too bad there's none of those around.

Welp, back in Planetfall 1 days, some buddies and I founded a guild based on harvesting nanites to refuel the bases. Work can be kinda fun if done right.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Klaus Kinski posted:

dota 2 has almost a 1 million people playing at peak, star citizen has a million accounts. this obviously makes them the same size :psyduck:

But, ummmm, you can actually PLAY dota 2...

:gary: PAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRPPPP! :yarg:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Literally Kermit posted:

Derek Smart has already begun charging his lawsuit energy into a Spirit Blog Bomb

We must lend him our power :ssj:

I will not stand behind you, but I will stand besides you. In battle!

FOR JUSTICE! FOR SMART! :black101:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


A Neurotic Jew posted:

the only reason anyone could want to buy the News Van ship is because they've already laid down $30,000 or whatever and have to complete the set.

But I want to know about that one guy, who I'm only assuming exists, who has paid for only the News Van ship and that's his only ride, and that's all he wants to ride. I know you're out there you weirdo. Please get an account and explain yourself.

Mkay, this is all part of a plan, mind you.

I get the news van, and I fly around getting the HOTTEST new stories. I make lots of moonbux and launch a regular news show on YouTube. The amazingly sexy Sandi falls in love with me, we have a week long shaving orgy, at the end of which Crobberts gets mad and cancels my account and permabans me since Sandi knows what it is like to have a real man and she leaves him and the spawn to run off with me and live in razor-driven bliss.

When I get banned, I launch a weaponized DSmart legal team at him and vaporize him and CIG's management team and become hugely rich. At this point, I really what a greedy and superficial bitch Sandi REALLY is and I spend some of the prize money with white slavers to have her shipped off as a love slave to a leper colony. As she looks up at me with beseeching eyes, begging me not to have her carried off, I look down, smile, and PAAAAAAAAAAAARP! while wearing a custom :gary: mask that doesn't fit quite right.

Samizdata fucked around with this message at 07:47 on Dec 20, 2015

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Romes128 posted:

Cig that's my idea plz payment 100,000 dollars cause I know you'll make thay five times over when you sell a limited quantity of 5,000 space food trucks

Ummm, idea guy, did you put it in the wiki? If not, no go.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Angela Christine posted:

Yes. Please see this simulation of an average posting day on SA:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOZuxwVk7TU

Except when the dumpy looking guy takes off his mask, underneath is an even dumpier looking guy.

You know, if Star Citizen had a sexy stewardess simulator and sexy assassin simulator modules (read any really working software), it might be worth possible purchasing retail.

Demonstrably, I am Smartacus.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Jobbo_Fett posted:

Just want to post that I am not a parachute account, I am Legend Derek Smart

This is where you are wrong.

We all are Smart In Derek.

That foul false prophet the Crobber begs for donations and begs for faith that, one day, redemption will come, but when it is ready. Our Lord of Logic comes to us and offers his wisdom, "Look at the facts and make up your own drat mind. Or I might sue you." free of charge to those that will listen. I am not sure if Our Logician Derek has a spouse, but, even if he does, I am sure she is blessed among women, unlike the tawdry scarecrow the Crobber regularly ruts with in filth, degradation, and Cheeto dust...

This, my brethren, is why we are all Smart in Derek, as long as we keep our riches away from the Crobber, rejecting his false promises of paradise just over the horizon, we concentrate on fact rather than the fiction spun by the Crobber, and our pubes unshaven to ward off the atteacks of the Gaping Abomination called Sandi.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Jobbo_Fett posted:

Go gently caress yourself, James Brand.

Also, SA ain't private you dipshit.

Well, it does kinda cost money to have fun that could be better spent on SPAAAAAAAAAAACCCEEE JAYYYYYPEGSSSSSS!

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


SelenicMartian posted:

Is Ben a reverse ninja?

No, but he has stress-binge eaten a few.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Jobbo_Fett posted:

Yo neon, how we doing the triathlon?

I am committed to this new, and enlarging, version of ritual suicide. I do not have a katana, but I do have a replacement weapon to make sure I fully commit to seeing this through. And by that I mean clogging up my arteries with that lovely Pizza Hut grease.

I promise to document my progress in tandem with Chris Roberts' Magnum Opus, Wing Commander. If I die, my roommate will take over the challenge.


Right on your internet. All you need to do is reach out and touch Chris Roberts dream, and you will be transported to a virtual world of fun and excitement that can only rival RollerCoaster Tycoon 1's amount of killing innocents, faulty rides, and copious vomiting.

If I had the money, I would be all over this like, well, grease on pizza. Leave you all running home to cry to Mama.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Jobbo_Fett posted:

I think it'll be quite easy. Seeing Matthew Lillard will make me want to throw up and, with luck, I might even lose weight!

Ummmmm, I like Matthew Lillard in many roles. Proof I would dominate you all with my titanium guts.

(Of course, if you vomit, I will be over here, so all is well.)

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Chalks posted:

He is talking about the Design. The all encompassing Design spawned from the mind of the computer gaming master Chris Roberts.

Apostasy! The only TRUE Design is the Smart one. I gotta torch here if you want discuss this further...

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


pokie posted:

Holiday present for the thread from my gf:



She's obviously brilliant.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Mr.Tophat posted:

Terribly sorry for the slow reply, but if you're still game for trying your hand at this, by all means, I'm happy to fund the attempt. Just let know when you'd like to try, and how best to fund the endeavor.

Also, found an excellent track to use for Star Citizen videos, parody or otherwise: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZuI3ZkCHfs About the 35 second mark is the money parp.

I wouldn't trust him to fund it. The tune posted has nothing even CLOSE to a money parp at :35. Prolly spent all their money/sense on SC.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Jobbo_Fett posted:

GET A REFUND, CITIZEN!



And buy literally anything on sale on Steam, at least they'll give you a refund.

Nope. I have two Steam titles, one of which I have never successfully played, and they just shrug at me, basically.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


RedTonic posted:

I'll trade you 4 AOL free trial CDs for a janky ship .jpeg. Try to beat that deal.

Oh, yeah? I will cash in my Bitcoins to buy Beenz. Then all the sweet, sweet JPeG's will be MINE! But will The Smart forgive me?

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


D_Smart posted:

I told you all not to give him any money and that he'd just move the forums to some lovely cloud service, then spend the rest on JPEGs. Nobody listened to me. I even wrote TWO loving blogs about it.

:golfclap:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Mr.Tophat posted:

Try waiting three seconds for airhorns buddy.

What in blazes are you talking about?

Waited well past a minute. The rest is just joshing you about your commitment to the Smart way of life.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Jobbo_Fett posted:

The 'VERSE is yours...

:colbert:

Nope. Just the world. THIS world. The 'verse is too huge, too grand, too immense and varied for any one person to ow....What? What was I saying? Think I blacked out there for a second.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Mr.Tophat posted:

I just meant a good sounding parp. As in literally, the sound of an airhorn. I was hoping someone might hear the airhorns in that track and maybe put it into a star citizen bug video. Just trying to promote open development posts about star citizen. Sorry I mislead you, but I promise I'll edit it in two weeks to be clearer to my vision for that post.

You have to remember, my post development history is only 1.5 years, you gotta expect bugs. No-one has ever done this before.

:golfclap:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Coolguye posted:

some pretty bad chili opinions on this page

what makes chili is the spices, and specifically the chili pepper. you could have a pure vegetable chili if you wanted, but that would be pretty bad because the hearty blend of capascin and cerotine doesn't work well with most vegetables.

legumes of all kinds are sort of an exception because they are sort of spongy without being runny, so they soak up the lovely buzz of the chili without becoming a terrible mess the way it would be if you put a lot of flour or something in it.

or, you know, alternately you could stop pretending and put beef, chicken, and pork in there, which is the original marinating medium, and just have a good experience backward to forward. i mean you can go with beans or whatever if you want, nobody's judging you, but you're just gonna have a better time if you just go full on with stuff that marinades properly. you don't marinade beans for a reason!

anyway my personal chili tip is to put a beer of your choice into the crock pot as you're cooking it. darker beers like porters and stouts work better, but if you're a huge fan of lagers i've had a couple of those also work okay. paprika and cloves are also good complementary spices.

I have good luck with either Guinness or Sam Adams Boston Lager.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


peter gabriel posted:

Oh good, thanks chris

Spoilers please. I have a slow connection, so I am still downloading alpha 1.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007



(That was a joke. I may have purchased Space Bunnies Must Die at one point, but I would never buy SC.)

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


peter gabriel posted:

I bought it and I feel bad about that. Not the buying of it, but knowing that somewhere out there an rear end in a top hat has benefited in albeit a small way from my money

Or the rear end in a top hat's hot, shaven actress wife (who is also an rear end in a top hat)?

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Scruffpuff posted:

Am I the only one who, when watching Christ attempt to play his own game, got a HUGE autism vibe from him?

The open-mouthed, empty-headed, blank expression while he tapped on the keyboard like a pigeon tapping for food pellets.

It looked like his eyes weren't focused on anything in particular. Even when he was in the game, his bizarre wandering around, his inability to navigate a chat interface (you're really gonna move the mouse around and loving click SEND instead of just hitting ENTER?)....

The whole time I half-expected some nurse to come tottering into the scene saying "OK, Chris, that's enough, you've had your fun, it's time to let someone else play on the computer now, OK?" and lead him off, wiping his drool with a Star Citizen towel.

And then strapping on his Star Citizen helmet to prevent him from hurting himself?

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


peter gabriel posted:

He has to understand that the $10 is not for buying stuff it is for the continued development of the forums, they don't understand the $ = actual stuff angle

Look, we got out of alpha when radium left.

<sticks face first to the floor and starts vibrating madly>

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Angela Christine posted:

Maybe they can make a future space gameboy. So while you are sitting in a cell you can play space tetris on a tiny screen in the middle of your real screen. Immersion!

Don't forget the headbob!

Samizdata
May 14, 2007



Wait. That explains EVERYTHING.

Sandi is a Cenobite. Sort of an anti-muse. She condemns men, first by forcing them to shave their groins then she gives them impossible dreams and seals their doom by using such dreams to lead them to crime and atrocities.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Parallelwoody posted:

Seconding this. Also Hawaiian is an abomination. If you put pineapple on your pizza you are weak, your bloodline is weak, and you won't survive the winter.

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

First off, when going to the ocean, nothing deliciously clears the saltwater taste out of your mouth like Hawaiian pizza.

Second, I am not a young man, and I like Hawaiian pizza, and, obviously, many winters I have survived.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

you'll survive one less winter for every Benjamin J. Lesnick Memorial challenge

I didn't get to play. Too poor right now.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


WebDO posted:

Look at all these people with horrible palates that unironically side with a guy that wears fedoras.

That's right, all of you pineapple haters are the same as a man that wears fedoras.

Good thing SSRIs are cheap, you might be able to salvage yourselves :colbert:

Nope. No hope there. I would expect to see SC on time, under budget, and stable first.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


AP posted:

Shouldn't you be playing the best game ever?

Good point. Seems to me an awful lot of Star Citizens are spending so much time posting defenses on social media, skimming related articles and doxxing The Smart, they really can't be logging much flight time.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

They are spending so much time rallying around The Crobber because they can't log any real flight time!

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


comatose posted:

Does anyone actually understand their logic on PTU build numbering? Ignoring the whole 2.0 thing for an alpha, the patch notes from 2.0x to 2.1 are bug fixes and a new ship which for some reason means they went up a version number and also make you download the whole client again. :psyduck:

Seriously, they are too busy writing THE GAME TO END ALL GAMES to work out a viable patcher.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007



Cenobite Sandi doesn't do coke. She gets her high by draining the hopes, dreams, and souls of innocent developers...

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


starkebn posted:

Star Citizen Alpha 2.0

It's not a game, it's not a testing environment

drat it, Jim! I am an idea guy, not an actual developer!

Samizdata
May 14, 2007


D_Smart posted:

Last time I checked, they didn't have patch servers; and they were not using third-party CDN like Akamai, Edgecast etc. Outside of that, pushing 30GB (!) worth of data with each patch, leads to massive bandwidth costs. Ask any IT person to explain it.

LOD doesn't have two servers. It has two server clusters. Each cluster being made up of six servers. Each cluster serves as one cohesive "game server"

We don't have bandwidth costs for patches because our entire game is served via Steam, which, via SteamWorks (dev API), is actually a full blown patching system which you feed patch scripts and it intelligently does the rest for clients downloading it.

Here's another question I have been wondering about, with the explosion of low cost indie titles on Steam recently...

What does the pricing structure on Steam look like? How do they charge for updates and such?

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Samizdata
May 14, 2007


Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

How about we do lovely pixel art for a few pages?

"I wanna go SPACE!"

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

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