Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

I bought a Constellation back in January 2014 and pretty much instantly regretted it.
At that time I did not think they would be able to deliver all the outlandish claims they had. I thought they would just do the normal thing of make a playable game, instead of doubling down on the insanity.
I am a bit of an impulse buyer.
And apparently I bought a mini hauler with LTI in June last year. (That purchase I do not even recollect, I may have been under the effect of pain killers (from surgery) and alchohol (for fun) )
Did I mention I am a bit of an impulse buyer?

On an unrelated note, here is a picture of my cat as a puppy.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2016 16:30

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 12:40

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

ED was complete garbage until I bought a cheap flight stick for it, then it became a lot of fun.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2016 18:28

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

I put in a refund request for my constellation. I will let you all know how it goes.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2016 18:42

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Mendrian posted:

I find it really hilarious how much effort CIG puts into its shadow war with its detractors. Constantly adjusting feature scope to account for competitors, changing release days and ship names to discredit leaks, automatically banning anyone assumed to be associated with a random comedy forum - no real company behaves this way. Who the gently caress cares if somebody leaks your trailer release date? Companies deal with entire games being leaked, and the best way to deal with it is to pretend it doesn't exist. They're behaving like children. Big companies ignore the three ring circus, instead choosing to control the message they give to the media and maybe, if they're a good company, make a few major adjustments based on consumer feedback. This tug of war is really petty.

This is the problem with privately held business. You are relying on the king to not be a deranged lunatic.
A publicly traded company on the other hand has more oversights in place.

Edit: First page catte picture.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2016 18:58

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

I like Gary Oldman and I loved The Professional. But I hate his acting in it.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2016 21:22

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Apparently if you used a debit card, you are hosed.
So I am going to go have a drink and mourn the loss of my monies tonight while shooting mans online.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2016 21:53

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

D_Smart posted:

No. The issue with the amount is about statutes for legally actionable fraudulent inducement

Sure they can sue, but so what. This is going to turn into a class action lawsuit, and the only one who will profit is the lead lawyer.
Everyone else will get a check for $4.20

# ¿ Mar 29, 2016 15:50

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Nomenclature posted:

Breaking News: Sandi is now in charge of developing the flight physics model:

That looks like a lot of wasted/empty floor space.
And who the hell walks around the office with sunglasses on their head.
And why is the fat one wearing pink?

# ¿ Mar 29, 2016 21:59

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

runsamok posted:

I though caricatures had to somewhat resemble their subject? And why are there like 5 different face "styles" going on?

Maybe this is why he's a tracer, because he lacks any sort of artistic talent to create, only manipulate.

Yeah I was trying to figure out how many styles are in this, at the very least two.
I like how he makes his face the biggest even though it is the farthest thing.
Perspective folks.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2016 22:05

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

How the gently caress did he think adding a head with twice the radius of the original was a good idea

I'm starting to get second thoughts about his artistic capabilities

Or the buckle on the left thigh that is just sticking up for no discernible reason because he erased the strap i was attached to. (Probably because Sandy thought it made her look fat)

# ¿ Mar 29, 2016 22:17

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

SomethingJones posted:

Wow. Also, does anyone know her real name?

Her real name will be revealed once the feds charge them a crime. Then it will be a matter of minutes before here claims of double masters will be debunked, and she flunked out in her first year from too much coke.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 15:47

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

WebDog posted:

Yowzers if that's the case, even in 2002 it would be quite a task to buy a forged parchment.

To her credit she did enough research for it to look plausible, knowing what colours to wear.

She really can't be that desperate to rock up in full garb for a photoshoot of a fake...unless that's actually a modeling photo for an ad.

Other possibility is that it's not a degree but something else. It's clear she has flunked out at some point.

Can you clarify just what the hell is going on? :v

Dude, her face is photoshop'd into the picture. It's not even her.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 17:57

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

ZenMaster posted:

I have 100% legit seen this on some horrible DVD or video game cover... pleas tell me someone can ID this... I am finding a few amusing things, trying to put it all together in one doc.

I want to say that comes from an old cheezy music video from back when MTV actually played music videos.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 19:13

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Nomenclature posted:

So, show of hands: Who thought that, of the three people at that table, Chris would be the one to have a chair collapse under him?

(@ 1:14:55 here: https://www.twitch.tv/cigcommunity/v/57613549 )

I was genuinely curious why if the CEO of your company is going to be on your webcast, why you would not give him your fancy race chair instead of make him sit in some plebeian mesh task chair?

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 20:55

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

G0RF posted:

And based on what Chris Roberts just told us, this is a man that maybe, just maybe might have a chance to create a game on par with Star Citizen. Maybe.

Dude did you even play GTAV? You steal a jumbo jet and while flying it you press the wrong button and you jump out, without a parachute.
Where's teh fidelity in that?

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 21:08

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

fuctifino posted:

I think this is the last time Ben and Chris were together on a livestream, so you can compare with the latest one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIjFfkdKy18&t=2516s

I think people are reading too much into it. I think it looks like some morbidly obese dude who is trying to not defecate in his pants, like whatever breakfast he ate wasn't agreeing with him.
This ties into Derek knowing what he ate for breakfast because it was laced with some laxative.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 01:02

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

You guys don't understand.,

Ben is one of the leavers.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 17:01

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

RescueFreak posted:

If CIG had pushed out the Idris at CITCON I might not have gone through with my refund, instead Sandi cried and Chris spit on a cake.

Wait what? He spit on a cake? On purpose?

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 00:47

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

The thing about the AI demo to me is that it looked like a the same dude walking around with something heavy on his chest. Like some sort of motion capture gear. So he's walking funny trying not to fall over.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 00:55

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Ok I cracked the code.

What happened is Chris or someone with admin privileges to all their servers, clicked on a malware link and it reiterated through every file and every share encrypting them with an RSA that ransomed their files for a large bitcoins sum.
Rather than pay the thief they thought they would be smart and decrypt it themselves (possibly why Erin had to fly back to the States to knock some sense into Chris?).
Now it is too late, and the ship has sailed. And when they turned on the restore from backups, it of course failed. Since nothing is done right at their workplace.

So they had to go scramble to find the latest working backup which is really freaking old, and not even from the PU but from Sq42 (possibly why Erin had to fly back to the States to hand it physically o Chris?) so of course it has the old script stuck in it.
And explains why the latest version is even more broken than the last.

You heard it here first.

Two weeks.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 20:05

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Pururun posted:

What did CIG do to Alyssa anyways?

https://twitter.com/miss_malyssious/status/702734091137855488

Didn't take very long did it. Two months.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 22:29

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Scruffpuff posted:

Because if only a few people know, and Derek says specifically what it is, they now have a very small number of people one of whom they know for a fact is a mole.

As it stands, Derek has been predicting doom for so long, and with such generic terms, and CIG has been loving up so constantly, that even if they suspected that Derek knew something specific, there's no way to pin down what that is with enough certainty to accuse Colonel Mustard of using the candlestick in the conservatory.

But as everyone says. It's a small industry. If the mole isn't Erin himself, they can pretty much give up working in the industry ever again. Because once it's all revealed it won't matter if his/her named was revealed after the ELE or before it. They will be an untrusted person to work with.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 23:33

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Lord Kinbote posted:

Is this legit?I remember when I started lurking this thread there was speculation about her being hunted by investigators and Sandi over leaks.

Edit:quoted wrong post,meant to quote the CIG ruined gaming for me.

It's legit you can just go to her twitter feed and see for yourself. From OMG! to never again in under two months.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 23:44

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Dusty Lens posted:

I'm not sure why half of the things that are in the game files end up there. If it's an early draft there's no reason those files are there for subtitles and if there's a new script there's no need to move the old one around/use it for "testing" text.

Maybe someone at CIG put them in there to get out for a laugh. Maybe someone at CIG put them in there to be "leaked" thinking that it would be a hands off indicator that something is happening, which is doubly pointless considering that CR already dropped a phonebook on stage (said phonebook being vastly, vastly more robust than the pastebin offering).

So who knows. CIG could probably find out pretty quick but apparently tracking who does what to their 30gb monster isn't the sort of thing they do.

But I guess it's all brass on the Titanic.

Or it may be what I said before that they lost all their current code and had to roll back to an older backup that they didn't really know what was in it.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2016 17:04

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Ponzi posted:

Ep2.19

Ep2.20

I just love how she starts off every episode with her eyes closed.
And she can't even read off a piece of paper.
And why don't they have a teleprompter for gently caress's sake.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2016 21:49

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

G0RF posted:

One thing I'm still trying to make sense of is EightAce's latest confirmation of Derek's current information. It would seem they are in complete agreement on things - and yet at last count they held opposing views on CIG cash reserves, with Derek calling the cupboard bare and EightAce saying they had more than enough cash to weather the year.

Cash more than anything else is determines the health of the concern, and if they truly are facing bankruptcy, Chris and Erin certainly aren't doing themselves favors in any future class action lawsuit by talking up their forward projections.

I'm still inclined to assume their cash is healthier than we suspect. If it isn't, then I will have to revise my opinions of them downward, which would amaze me in Chris' case and disappoint me in Erin's.

If you re read EightAce's post he said they were told that the money was there. I don't think he saw it for himself.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 04:48

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

For all these guys posting how they cracked it before hand and couldn't believe it.
Have poor imagination.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 16:31

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

D1E posted:

If we're voting, my input is to end this legendary thread at Page 3000, and then let G0RF take the reigns as our new SC thread OP.

I vote this as well.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 17:46

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Guys I cracked the code. And I really hope both Chris and Derek go to jail over this.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 20:30

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Kakarot posted:

Did the mass walkout happen?

It's happening.
In this thread.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 20:56

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Sillybones posted:

Not for nothing, if there was one person I wanted to shut up about the code thing, it was you.

South shore Long Island resident spotted.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 21:23

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

D_Smart posted:

oh-ok. From your "The magnitude of cares for most people is still the same, which is the point." I get what you mean now.

But still, I don't think I'm the only one who cares this much though. Surely someone heavily invested in JPEGs cares a LOT more than me

They do, but they don't post here. So I doubt they would contribute to keeping this thread going once the bomb lands.
I'm invested in SC for a couple hundred, only because I used a debit card and the bank is like gently caress off it's past 180 days, call a lawyer.
But man, once this thing burns to the ground, I doubt stirring the ashes of what once was my money will pique my interest.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2016 14:52

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

I clicked on a link from Derek that was of a Sandi montage of her "acting" range.
It was really bad and then I realized it was her own post, she really thinks she is a good actress, she actually uploaded the clips.
It's like those people who go to try out on American Idol because all their life their mum tells them how special and great they are.
And they truly believe it.

PS: Intern reading this, for a full refund of my monies I will shill your game to this thread.

PPS: To the goon who wanted to take a Constellation out on ride in the [s ]Alpha[/s]Tech Demo. PM me and if when I get home if I can make sure you can't steal my personal info on my account, i will let you take it out for a test ride.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2016 18:50

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I posted but my post didn't post

Post it again.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2016 18:51

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I wouldn't want to waste the space, it wasn't all that good tbh

Since when has quality ever mattered over quantity when it comes to posting?

# ¿ Apr 5, 2016 18:53

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Samizdata posted:

I mean, I REALLY love you guys, but Sandi?

No. Nope. Not gonna do her.

(And I've been single (read "NO action") for over 6 years.)

As if she would even sleep with a hairy freak like you.
Do you even own a razor?

# ¿ Apr 5, 2016 18:54

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Variable 5 posted:

Sorry guys, I�m tired of this. It�s not fun for anyone but your group and it�s tedious for anyone else posting to the forums. The level of toxicity the users posting to this thread adds to the forums is not acceptable.
I am absolutely bored with the insane levels of smug pretense happening here. It�s not fooling anyone (other than regular users already keyed up about �Goons� playing the same game as they are, and you sure showed them! Take that, pubbies!) and it�s just so uninteresting. �We�re just standing up for the little guy! Help we�re being oppressed! Etc.!� I have some good news for you: you�re a regular forum user and you don�t need to stand up for anybody. You don�t run the place. That�s the moderation staff�s job, and if they suck at it then I will fire them.

They don�t suck at it right now, though. Your constant baiting isn�t changing my mind about that, it�s making me feel sorry for the group of people I put in the position of having to deal with you. It�s really, really obvious what�s happening, and no number of lengthy PMs about your views on how moderation is supposed to work are going to change that. The level of disrespect here is outrageous; absolutely no one believes you�re really here with obnoxious rule-skating signatures and stupid parody account avatars because you�re incredibly concerned with how a particular forum�s moderation works.

But if that is a genuine worry: if Toast bans someone for being a Goon instead of for being an rear end in a top hat, let me know (via PM, not endless toxic thread) and I will fire Toast. Until that happens, this is just tiresome and makes the forums look bad to everyone. (And this is just a gut feeling, but maybe the moderator bias that you all claim to be so worried about above anything else in the universe would be more obvious to me if absolutely anyone other than the people posting to this thread were contacting me about it?)

I will say that this is in no way a condemnation of all �Goons.� In following the Star Citizen threads at SA, it�s clear there are lots of Something Awful users who are interested in/excited about Star Citizen. You aren�t being haunted by some EVE reputation that you pretend to know nothing about� you�re giving the group a bad name right here (literally, in the name of your thread.) But of course you know that. SA is full of entirely reasonable people (myself included) who do all kinds of interesting things. Endless forum �shitposting� and trying to get moderators/staff fired isn�t one of those interesting things.

Thread closed.

Source your quotes.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2016 19:34

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Dusty Lens posted:

For the confused this is a rant that Ben used to shut down a thread during the great LGBT shitfest era on the brown sea forum way back in the day.

What side were we on?

# ¿ Apr 5, 2016 19:35

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

I think I have a lot of empathy. But I don't really feel any to people who eat themselves to that state. Starving children make me sad, and that drat bitch on TV making me feel bad for some mistreated catte.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2016 19:48

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 12:40

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Scruffpuff posted:

I see he's wearing an original Ryan Archer shirt.

The Panama files make me want to smoke weed again. Because the word Panama triggers the latent stoner inside of me.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2016 20:05

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