Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Wuxi posted:

Eonwe posted:

there has to be a way to auto block goons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alternatively:

pirates, people known to go after hard targets rather than easy pickings

thanks high admiral gabriel theowhateverrus

I wonder how many whales are Eve-carebears seeking a safe haven from goons.

Also the reason lowsec pirates aren't suicide bombing your poo poo all day is because entering highsec with -10 is a pain, not because of some strange e-honour thing.

Game comes out and goons drink tears from ganking $1000 pixels.
Game doesn't come out and goons get the last laugh while the cultists scramble for refunds.

win-win

# ¿ Dec 6, 2015 23:47

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 23:19

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Nicholas posted:

SOUADRDN 42

This is just so amateur, it's not surprising that even their patches have pre-alpha bugs. Who the hell even stencils an O the same way as a D?

Even the Q is like that. SDUADRDN 42

Acquilae fucked around with this message at 06:40 on Dec 8, 2015

# ¿ Dec 8, 2015 06:35

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

FrankieGoes posted:

Why are such a large percentage of star citizens so distasteful? So easy to hate?

trying to show off dank alcohol collection

$10 vodkas

# ¿ Dec 8, 2015 22:07

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Enchanted Hat posted:

So once this all finally collapses, what's Chris going to be doing? Some people were saying that he could use those mocap studios, but Star Citizen is just going to be more proof that you can't give the guy any money or authority without spelling the doom of your project. Is it all just going to be small vanity film projects for Sandi, or is he going to try another video game scam?

The current cultists already ignore Chris' history and twist it into him being the greatest developer in PC gaming history. He could give some half-assed apology about CIG, claim he'll have things such as independent auditing and strict financial oversight this time, and they'll empty their bank accounts to him once again.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2015 21:19

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Avalanche posted:

That's as real as his ship will ever get.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2015 07:25

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Toysrme posted:

So I got a 30-day ban and a "final warning" from their website for:
1) following their own rules
2) comments made here that "incite a riot against their moderation staff"
3) showing a "got banned message" in public. excuse me? there are no rules or contract telling me I could not.

you should forward this to any of the gaming websites that have criticized the game and its fans

# ¿ Dec 12, 2015 02:32

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Daztek posted:

Nah, you're making it up

So what the hell is going on: People are getting banned for posts on other forums?

the denial is amazing; totally not a cult nothing to see here

quote:

Solution: Just don't go on the forums, so if you get banned it doesn't really matter. as far as I'm concerned this subreddit is the forums. If I get banned here I will seriously QQ... but the official forums its like...Whatever man.

quote:

Internet foruming 101: Always use different names on different forums.
Kids these days. I swear to god...

the entire internet is CIG forums

Acquilae fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Dec 12, 2015

# ¿ Dec 12, 2015 18:01

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Nation posted:

my name is wesha on the cig's forum please ban me

don't forget to post how much you've pledged to the church of roberts

# ¿ Dec 12, 2015 18:40

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

The Meat Dimension posted:

I wonder how much he was trying to get back.

According to the thread, at least $2,500 according to his backer level. Refunding $30-100 wouldn't make them bat an eye but CIG won't let their whales go.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2015 00:41

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Eonwe posted:

Sandi totally has what it takes to be a successful C list actress. Someone somewhere has to be doing an indie version of He Man and are in need of a skeletor who doesn't need a lot of touching up

Who cares about acting when you can go to bed knowing you'll be more successful than Derek Smart in the :pcgaming:

SPACE SIM GENRE? :pcgaming:

# ¿ Dec 13, 2015 03:51

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

FrankieGoes posted:

Go yiff yourself, Wesha.

new thread title

Soothing Vapors posted:

does he have some sort of arm-shortening disorder? not to brag or nothin but ive seen a lot of human beings with arms in my day, and none of their arms look like that

Most human beings don't have that much fat and skin surrounding their skeletons.

# ¿ Dec 14, 2015 06:01

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Mirificus posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6027310/#Comment_6027310

but I thought CIG had completely open communication and 1000% transparency, unlike those evil capitalist publishers

# ¿ Dec 14, 2015 07:21

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

ZenMaster posted:

Read the whole comments in that lj link..

IT IS GOLDDDDDDD

what the gently caress are these people

# ¿ Dec 14, 2015 19:24

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

G0RF posted:

That pic has really gone the distance...

Every time Cherie appears in a Star Citizen video-- she gets a really big fan response. And of course she would- she's adorable, and unlike Sandi, she loves gaming.

This does not please Sandi. No, not one bit... So I'm afraid it's only a matter of time.

edit: Oops forgot there was a JenVar one, too...

Then it'll only be a matter of time before Jessica, the HR girl from their LA office video, is in Sandi's crosshairs.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2015 21:25

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

G0RF posted:

CLASSICAL PIANO (15 YRS), Bikram Yoga, TAE-BO, Kung Fu, Kickboxing, Theatrical Combat, Surfing, MODERN DANCE, SCUBA DIVING, Qualified Marine Biologist, Motorcycling, Tennis, Cycling, Swimming, FOREIGN LANGUAGES - German, French, Japanese, Tagalog and basic Spanish.

No Marketing or Business degrees. Hmmmmmm.

Makes sense. CIG's current opening for a Senior Controller doesn't have a requirement for a degree in finance or accounting, nor any required experience in the field.

Then again, when it comes to managing CIG's finances, there aren't any job responsibilities aside from "do what Chris and Sandi want."

Acquilae fucked around with this message at 00:58 on Dec 16, 2015

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 00:55

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

redwalrus posted:

Its all fun until its true.

If Sandi plays a minor character with only 2-3 lines throughout all the hours of cutscenes it'll be perfect, and fitting for her :allears:

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 08:03

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Cosmic Owl posted:

Oh you sweet summer child.

Sandi probably forced Chris to give her more CG time than the other actresses combined, since this will obviously be the Hollywood break she deserves.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 11:59

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Calling it now: CIG's big reveal will be that the Idris is flyable.

I hope they do this *soon* and make the Idris just a larger Constellation and get destroyed by 6-8 Hornets, so we can get the whale griefing tears we deserve.

DoctorStrangelove posted:

It kinda pisses me off that they named one of the bigger ships the Javelin. Javelins are supposed to be small, light skirmishing weapons so why would you name a capital ship after one?

Are you dissenting against the vision of the CRobbers? 10,000 year ban from CIG forums, effective immediately.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 20:18

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

And thus the engineering debt was saddled with News Van gameplay.

This is among the dumbest things I've heard about in a video game.

Perhaps It can be used to film evidence of piracy and griefing throughout the 'verse. Maybe they can call the news van company Video News Productions.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 20:41

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

"we can't answer 'when' questions"

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 20:57

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

this is perfect disaster

and they cut to a commercial hahahahaha

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 22:34

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

CrazyLoon posted:

Tell me SOMEONE is capturing this for a later upload, because cripes this kind of thing cannot be allowed to just be willy nilly deleted by CIG's later editing.

Does Twitch let people edit past broadcasts?

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 22:41

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

I love how Chris and Sandi have this elaborate, serious set that's like a press conference and John Rhys-Davies is just on his phone with 240p giving the interview.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 22:59

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

ZenMaster posted:

Now I post this adorable gif whenever octopode posts

this is adorable

:rip:

when Sandi sees you stealing her thunder

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 23:47

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Just finished watching the demo of Chris playing 2.0 from the live stream and my God it completely reeked of amateurism. Granted it was a livestream but all the audio mixups ("what's my password? communitypress1?"), terrible cuts, showing that dead/blank stare on Chris' face when the game and computer froze, and looking like they didn't even bother to set up the hardware further evidences how poorly managed this whole thing is going. Not to mention, Chris, the CEO/founder, basically looking like he has no clue about how his loving game works and sounding like he hasn't paid any attention to the day-to-day progress (like making GBS threads on the chat UI after this much time has passed in development) made this mess so entertaining but also made me feel sorta :smith:

for the people working on this project. It gives the aura of a project that's funded with barely 7 figures, not $100 million.

Either this thread or one of the SC articles mentioned a house construction analogy about how Chris takes the complete opposite approach from building the foundation first and putting in wallpaper in last. The entire progress of Star Citizen perfectly describes it. So far the highlights of the game have been the wallpaper: "in-engine" demo reels, Los Angeles office, overpriced garbage from Restoration Hardware, CG cutscenes, ship commercials, concept videos, the feature creep, and limited edition JPEGs. Of course, all of which are contrasted with the foundation (what we can actually play) being a buggy, fragile pile of poo poo.

/endrant

# ¿ Dec 17, 2015 11:01

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Sillybones posted:

Couldn't that be an indicator that he realised how much he was making GBS threads on the project attempting to micromanage it that he specifically doesn't even play it anymore otherwise he will start wanting to change things? It looks like he hasn't played it in a long while and look what happened; He started wanting things changed.

Well, any competent person would see this as a moment of clarity and be embarrassed that their game is a joke but when you've garnered a cult following, that feeling dies down. Chris even went through this before with his "I swear it was working an hour ago!" moment when he was demo'ing Arena Commander at one of their CitCons. After multiple crashes and issues, all the fans could do was chant "HELMET!" and any crashes would be forgotten the instant they saw that animation. Even after yesterday the fanboys are writing off nearly all the livestream issues because they're 150% certain he's eventually going to release the game of the century.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2015 16:42

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Omi-Polari posted:

From Alpha PU 2.1 patch notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qynyTYn8Wlo

http://youtubedoubler.com/h9TQ

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 10:11

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

D_Smart posted:

Shiticizens are trying to come to grips with the fact that, after the procedural generated planets #FAIL, they're still the laughing stock of the gaming community since they're being shafted in broad daylight and in glorious UHD

...then there's this: http://www.informationredux.com/index.php/2015/12/19/the-star-citizen-community-is-souring-the-game/

Wow @ that part about Ben outing the guy on reddit. Must have wasted an entire work day writing it.

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 20:55

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Google Butt posted:

If they don't allow you to disable the dumb ship voices I'll never play this

But it's immersion! How can you not like the experience of hearing "takeoff complete lAnding complete takeoff complete landing gear raised landing compl-takeoff co-landi-takeoff c-landing complete" for two minutes straight?

# ¿ Dec 20, 2015 11:24

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Mirificus posted:

Disqus Profile - James Brand

lol this is amazing

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 19:03

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Mirificus posted:

Me too.

http://www.informationredux.com/index.php/2015/12/19/the-star-citizen-community-is-souring-the-game/#comment-2418250943

my brain just went :suicide:

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 20:59

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Mirificus posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/284818/don-t-think-we-have-forum-ideas-space-so-putting-it-here

are spiders like outcasts in the furry lifestyle or something?

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 23:47

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Mirificus posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/3x8z6k/future_of_star_citizen_questins_and_concerns/cy2ivx8?context=3

Star Citizen: All I need is Chris

# ¿ Dec 23, 2015 22:40

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Kakarot posted:

STARSHIP SALE!!!

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/15126-Holiday-Ship-Sale

its a doozy

the price of those addons

$100 for space boobs

# ¿ Dec 24, 2015 10:09

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Rad Russian posted:

He sends $50 a month from his disability check to Croberts. Our taxes at work folks. Yikes.

I wonder if this guy complains about the spending habits of welfare recipients if they don't buy the most basic/cheapest goods.

lol he has an Idris

Acquilae fucked around with this message at 06:28 on Dec 27, 2015

# ¿ Dec 27, 2015 06:25

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Ravane posted:

I'm a sleeper shitizen.

Bahubali!

# ¿ Dec 27, 2015 08:46

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Justin Tyme posted:

"I like my Reliant" says a man about a thing that doesn't even exist yet even in the model viewer program. The sheer thought of thinking you "own" a digital object, wow

Depending on what parts of the forum you read, I fluctuate from not blaming/praising CR from fleecing gullible sperg fucktards/furries out of millions, to thinking they're assholes for abusing people with genuine mental illness.

This is one of my favorite things about the cultists, they always imagine their JPEG in a dream and talk as if they actually have it within the game. They even write paragraphs of what they'll be doing ~~after~~ if the game comes out, when the ship(s) aren't even in the hangar phase.

That and how these idiots thought video game pirating was going to be some adorable Jack Sparrow treasure hunt across the 'verse and not more along the lines of modern day Somali ship hijacking/griefing.

Acquilae fucked around with this message at 11:07 on Dec 29, 2015

# ¿ Dec 29, 2015 11:05

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Mike McCockchain posted:

Hi goons. before I get b& I just wanted to say that Scruffpuff is definitely the Seraph-MVP of the thread for December. Pat yourself on the back, Scruffpuff.

These two posts in particular were outstanding

I'll be directing cultists to them at every possible opportunity.

Thank you very much.

Yours truly,

-Probably not Seraph

As a masochist EVE miner, I was looking forward to the way SC handled mining and at one point interested in the Orion. Then I read CR's mumbo jumbo about mining and did the J-Law "yeah okay" because of how utterly ridiculous it sounded.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2015 23:00

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

# ¿ Dec 30, 2015 22:53

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 23:19

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

Bait and Swatch posted:

Is there a recording of the meltdown?

I want to see this as well.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2015 23:01

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