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Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Io_ posted:

Sandi is unhappy with the hairy mikes...



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Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


peter gabriel posted:

It's me all along, I am:

Dik Wulf
Chris robots
Derek

And more.

Derek is an account created by Chris robots to scare backers into giving him more money, it's the perfect crime!!!

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Omi-Polari posted:

Ignore this post. Self-owning report bot test.



I like this picture. It's a shiny JPEG promising a neat end product, but after making the JPEG the creator realised that if he tried to cut the central pattern the entire circle would just collapse and leave him a broken pumpkin with a big hole in it.

What I'm trying to say is that this pumpkin needs more pledge $$$

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Okay, there must be some sort of Starfleet minimum fitness requirements

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


DoctorStrangelove posted:

In case you don't realize this Derek, it costs him :10bux: to change your avatar but only costs you :5bux: to change it back.

And if you buy 25 avatars, lowtax sends you a gold :gary:

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Eonwe posted:

honestly though, if you want to ever pay someone to post on the internet I am your man

i will happily shill for whatever, whenever, wherever and i will make everyone certain I am you

I'll give you $5 if you post all of Richard III, replacing Gloucester with Derek Smart and all the other Plantagenets and Yorkists with CIG people.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


If this thread worked like reddit, it would be 100% :gary: rather than 90% :gary:

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances



How can a loving auditor be gullible enough to also be a SC whale? I guess it explains why he grew up to be such a weird sperg, tho.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Hopper posted:

I am not surprised. In my experience, a lot of auditors are assholes who always have to be right. They usually go into companies and point fingers going "you done hosed up son" and then "suggesting" i.e. telling people how to do it right.
In private social situations, when they don't get what they want and/or are not right in any context and you tell them, they will lash out and fight to the bitter end to be right.

In this case, an rear end in a top hat who can't admit to be wrong bought jpegs from a scammer. Instead of admitting it, he will fight to the bitter end to make it seem as if he was right all along by any means necessary.

I guess that kind of makes sense, but like, his entire job is being sceptical when directors say things like "nah, you don't need to see financials" and "don't worry, game's coming out in two weeksTM". Yeah, the Star Citizen audit is ready for sign-off, we got a management rep saying that everything is fine and that everything bad is a wicked gamergate ruse. Also Derek Smart Derek Smart Derek Smart

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


grimcreaper posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/3r306e/hello_my_name_is/

As well, I am 1.5 years into the Imperator subscription. So that means I have a discount chit, which means I need to be something big.


Wait, what is this discount chit thing? Do they really have a thing where if you pay them like $100 in subscription fees, they give you 10% off a $2,000 space ship JPEG?

shiiiit they need to drop the whole SC fiasco right now and start a marketing business, this is amazing

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Plankalkuel posted:

Just make a full game out of the Barman-in-a-Spaceship idea. You could have different alien species with different needs (and incompatibilities, like "no water"). Maybe get a bit of "Papers Please!" and lots of SciFi references in there. Nerds would love it.

The final boss is an awkward, mumbling human who says "no um I um it's not right yet can you um take it back and um make it greener and um with higher resolution" no matter what you bring him.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Agrajag posted:



huaaa... what? :psyduck:

Star Citizen backers are all highly experienced contract lawyers, auditors and rocket scientists, which is why they can comfortably tell you that Derek Smart's claims are worthless, filing your accounts is for suckers, and that in a vacuum, space ships are SUPPOSED to bug out like that

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances



Chris Roberts can I have a face ship?

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Incombibulator posted:

quote:

Please note: The price of this card is to cover production costs and worldwide shipping fees. The images displayed are the prototype version of the card; the text and logo portion of the card will be printed in black on the final product. This is a pre-order; estimated delivery date is February 2016.

Woow. They weren't ripping off their backers enough already with the cards, they really had to save another cent by making them cheap crap. The brown sea threads of people complaining about the poor quality of their sperg cards are going to be great.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Omi-Polari posted:

When I walk up to the club and don't get let in because I'm wearing sweatpants I always make sure to flash out my Limited Edition Star Citizen Concierge credit card to show I mean business.

I mean, yeah, it's pretty obvious that having this card is going to get you laid, but it's still a dumb thing for them to be selling.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


DarkRefreshment posted:

Unbelievable. Next thing you know you are going to tell us there are connections between these asshats and real life mobsters...

But for real, not knowing UK reporting laws, what kind of trouble can they get into for this and when? Moreover, if they actually do update it in accordance to the law, will it actually give away anything juicy??

The trouble they can get in for this directly is pretty minimal, the penalties for late filing are pathetically low (less than the price of an Idris). Someone pointed out that the directors could get in criminal trouble, but honestly, that's pretty unlikely. However, it's getting so late that they're going to have trouble filing their taxes properly, since you need statutory accounts for that, and the UK takes that a lot more seriously.

If they did file, the contents wouldn't be too interesting. They don't have any independent shareholders who need to see proper accounts, so they can just do minimal disclosure. One slightly interesting thing is that somewhere in the accounts they will have to write "Cash and cash equivalents owned by the business: X". A low number could just mean that the cash is being held elsewhere, but it'd still be pretty funny to post on the SC forums. "Hey guys, 137,000 left, better hurry up!" etc.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Sappo569 posted:

Their excuse for making new ships and constantly revising the existing ships, is because they have all these artists and designers on staff just lazing around otherwise.

Hey here's an idea... get a working engine first and THEN bring in the artists

I don't know jack all about game development, but I bet normally the first 1-2 years of a new game is spent 100% on just coding and getting the basics in place

For such a dev guru as Roberts is supposed to be he sure seems to go about absolutely everything backwards

:Edit:

Hey look I found a picture that illustrates the CIG philosophy at every turn

Well, the new ships are their primary cash generation tool. It'd be brilliant if they didn't insist on realism and complex physics and such, then they could just keep putting out more ship pictures with minimal effort. Making a Cutlass? Put a 5% DPS penalty on a Super Horner and add some cargo space, then reskin.

Unfortunately for CIG, they're buying into their own hype and never getting anywhere because every ship has to be a perfect snowflake with individually modelled thrusters and drinks mixing and a farm and a science station and whatever else they can think of.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Raskolnikov posted:

She just naturally looks this amazing. Also I found CIGs espresso machine in Fallout4.



GOTY

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


D_Smart posted:

They would have committed crimes if there is any evidence of fraud and/or malfeasance. Nothing else. Trying and failing is no crime. Paying yourself an inflated salary is only a crime if done with the intent to defraud.

There are wrongful trading rules that are supposed to punish company directors for pissing away all of a company's assets when they ought to know that there's no way for them to avoid liquidation, but I don't know how often that really gets applied in practice. Rarely, I assume, since there's not going to be much money left to recover.

The reason I really don't get the Kickstarter thing in general is that it's accepting all the risk of being a venture capitalist while giving away:

a) the potential for a share of the profit if the venture is successful, and
b) all the normal legal protections and information rights of shareholders

The fact that the backers are actively refusing to be given financial information and proper accounting of their so-called investment is just mindboggling to me.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


peter gabriel posted:

What I'm after is a major city or even a landmark that was not built in a day, my daily smug put downs are relying on this, sounds like Paris could be a goer

how about the constellation?

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


D_Smart posted:

Yeah, that's some of the crap we're dying to question them about in court. They've got to be manipulating that chart in order to show "health" and confidence in the project. And it's not illegal btw.

Surely misrepresenting the financial health of your business to attract more """investment""" is textbook fraud?

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


ShredsYouSay posted:

Whoever said tetley was a good tea is tripping.

Twinings earl grey is where it's at.

Derek, did you grow up in the UK? Do you ever feel nostalgic for stovies, broth, or well-fired rolls?

:gary::hf::yarg:

Tetley is about as good as Star Citizen

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Mirificus posted:

Why?
personal shopper
executive assistant/agent
space philosopher
risk assessment analyst

Why are these together?
arsonist or explosive engineer

Ironic
cult leader
money launderer

Of course
kidnapper
slaver

wtf is a "space philosopher", and how does it differ from an earth philosopher?

- I think, therefore I am in space
- In creating the best of all possible worlds, some amount of evil is necessary in space
- The historical process depends on the organisation and consciousness of the working class in space

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Danknificent posted:

The word on the street was that they were eating fees to postpone filing. Can anyone with legit knowledge confirm that those fees are meaningful, or that they impose any measure of urgency?

The fees are tiny, and one of the UK companies finally released an annual report. It's likely to be a complete non-issue unless poor record-keeping starts affecting their tax compliance, which could be an actual problem for them.

Enchanted Hat fucked around with this message at 23:52 on Nov 21, 2015

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


quote:

D_Smart posted:

So, it boils down to you not believing CIG have got 64bit precision or have made the extensive changes they say they have? What the hell do you think they've been doing the past 3 years? The 64 bit is done. Local physics zones within ships is done. The playable area in 2.0 is 1,000,000 x 1,000,000 x 200,000km. It's all real, sorry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB1_IXHIIQ8

Congratulations. You're now ignored. Nobody who wants to engage in any meaningful discourse, attacks the person they want to talk to. Now gently caress off.

:ironicat:

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Berious posted:

I don't think they've even got around to describing how most of the modules in their big science jpeg will work on a mechanical level. With the exception of growing space weed, we've seen mock ups of that.

But how will science differ from research, what would the space telescope do, how will medical stuff work? No loving idea just buy the $900 jpeg OK? :iiam:

Obviously, it will be a fully developed, innovative and immersive science experience, nothing else would be worth of Chris Roberts BDSSE.

1) Write a space hypothesis on your space desk.
2) Establish certain assertions to be tested through empirical research.
3) Either hire researchers to do space research for your space science or do it yourself if you're space poor.
4) Discover that the research data does not fit your space hypothesis. Massage the figures until they fit.
5) Write up your space science article and submit it to a number of reputable space science journals.
6) Once the reputable journals reject you, try submitting the article to Vanduul space science journals instead.
7) If your article is accepted, repeat 1-6 until you're offered tenure by a space university.

Occasionally fellow player and AI scientists will challenge your articles, and you have to shoot at them with your space ship to make them issue retractions.

Alternatively, all the modules could just have a little time bar that makes you wait for half an hour, then says "space science/research/farming/power generation complete, gain 500 credits".

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

I think the desks are funny because it's clear that someone picked them out for their looks and not their utility. Rather than use something functional they went with a motif that matches the rest of the "development hell" aesthetic.


I wouldn't be surprised if the desks in the downsized Austin studio end up being the shittiest IKEA crap they could find.

Working with lovely IKEA furniture would be way better than working in a place that legit looks like you're doing forced labour in a prison.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Berious posted:

It'll happen when they're desperate enough and the shitstorm will be delicious. You can lie to them, fob them off or ignore them all day but if you touch a shitizens exclusive jpegs they are going to get mad.

lol if you think that they'd ever get mad at Roberts, our saviour, even after being so obviously screwed.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Stealth Like posted:

No I don't. Should I join to become an auditor?

If you're a SC fan, auditing is the perfect career for you! You won't have any free time to play actual games, so a pseudo-game that just siphons your money without any actual gameplay is ideal.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances



Okay, is this literally a religion now? Can we have a $100 million stretch goal to build a golden idol of Chris Roberts?

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Eonwe posted:

im gonna be sad if there are posts on this page that don't have the phrase


Go gently caress yourself, Karl!

Reddit is leading you to hatred and the dark side, spinning elephant man :(

I hope you find your peace in the verse again.

Namaste

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Star Citizen has indirectly shown me that anime can be cool and good, which I think makes up for Chris Roberts swindling people for $100 million. Croberts, you're ok in my book.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


McGiggins posted:

What

I'm starting to think that the weird anime nerds at uni had more things wrong with them than just being social retards.

Are all animes like that?

sometimes it's about banging ladies who are also machine guns with huge tits, if that's any better?

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Loiosh posted:

2.0.0G released today. WTF is streaming it: http://www.twitch.tv/wtfosaurus

They fixed the login error and server connection problem that was causing the clients to crash in 2.0.0f. Also, they fixed the issue another goon was having on the previous page where the game would load and say 'server full'. That's corrected now.

Also, they got rid of the jitter that was happening at fast acceleration in ships.

Clicked the link, and the game graphics immediately glitched out when the video loaded. The guy got to play literally 20 seconds before the game warped his character to outer space and killed him.

AAA

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Loiosh posted:

I felt responsible for pointing people there, especially when a nice streamer is getting trolled in his chat. So, this is a combination of me feeling guilty and my personal opinion about trolling. It's not something I've enjoyed.

I guess I'll just stay quiet about it in the future. I haven't mentioned it the past times he's been there trolling, but then, I didn't feel responsible for linking it. I know that among the goons, that kind of activity is not just fine but encouraged, but it has never sat well with me. I like to be upfront and honest.

I'll just stay out of it in the future.

Please do.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


G0RF posted:

I think a lot of folks here would like to see something like:

1) Chris gets sidelined into some Emeritus position (out of the day-to-day dev and unable to add yet more to the engineering debt)...

2) Sandi goes to Hollywood full-time (and off the CIG payroll) and stops her reign of terror and self-indulgence in Santa Monica...

3) Erin and other competent, reasonable, fair-minded leaders take over completely and bring Star Citizen to completion...

(and it's not just folks here that want that...)

Sandi and Chris are going to make fat bank on the game if it's successful, even if they're not involved in the day-to-day operations. Maybe especially if they're not. It would be hard to begrudge them too much (toxic though they appear to be) that if it meant that a lot of the good people they still have working there would get meaningful employment, a good quality of life job, a chance to steer the future development of the game, and all the rest.

That's just my take.

I don't know, I think CIG burning to the ground would be funnier than somehow salvaging the project.

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


D_Smart posted:

But that doesn't stop wankers from making movies of LOD making fun of the bugs, quirks etc in a game that's still in development.

that's the entire point of this thread tho???

EDIT:

Ursine Catastrophe posted:

god forbid anyone make fun of the bugs in an in-development game


:ironicat:

gently caress

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances



:smug: HEH nice try goonAILURES! case you didn't know, Chris Roberts' trailer said that 2.0 is playable, and that everything is good, so why don't you just :frogout:

Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


Berious posted:

You can sort of tell the ww2 bomber aesthetic they're trying to achieve but its just so ugly and soulless. Make a few of the struts curved and it wouldn't look hideous. I bet the artist wanted to but Chris hates curves or something

um you do know that in the SC future after we discovered alien species, ergonomics and designing according to human sensibilities is considered RACIST, right?

just thought i'd let you know you sapien-normative piece of poo poo

i just can't even right now

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Enchanted Hat
Aug 18, 2013

Defeated in Diplomacy under suspicious circumstances


D_Smart posted:

Correction

4yrs (they didn't throw out the 1yr work prior, and I have it on good authority they paid themselves for that work, right off the bat)
+
$100m
+
over 500 (at its peak) people
+
croberts
=
pre-Alpha-Alpha (for a game coming in 2016)

You should probably subtract croberts in that equation, Derek, it's pretty clear that he's not helping the project

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