Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

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Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

First time opening my yap on here, God help me. I started a career in thread-lurking shortly before this latest SC thread came into existence... and have somehow kept up ever since. This thread is a miracle of comedy delivery.

Here's something I noticed about the linked Gillian Anderson "interview". As many have said, there was indeed something awkward and wrong about it. The penny dropped when I looked up the other videos, and noticed this...

Gary Oldman - Light's on the left
Sandi - Light's on the right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTuhr_vzTEE

Mark Hamill - Light's on the left
Sandi - Light's on the right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vqB5lD73dw

Gillian Anderson - Light's on the the right
Sandi - Light's on the right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vECofeHSmqo

Viewers intuitively know the two sides don't fit, even if they can't express exactly why. Our brains know "impossible" when they see it, and simply won't accept that it's a conversation between two people facing each other.

The lighting was obviously set up differently for Gillian Anderson's bit... and they went with the wrong lighting for their patch-up job, which ended up looking like an amateur-hour hatchet job.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2016 08:51

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# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 06:51

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

G0RF posted:

Please, no tongue. Some of us are still new here and flllp llppppllf ffflflllllppppoorrrrfgfffllflfglgp.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2016 09:48

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

AP posted:

"...you already have FPS in the game..."

# ¿ Feb 2, 2016 10:23

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

AP posted:

It's a Star Citizen/Deadpool crossover! Where's my credit card!?

# ¿ Feb 2, 2016 10:30

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

peter gabriel posted:

Set it to 7 and you run into barnacles

8 - PvP hits you with the worst kind of electricity imaginable, the pain of which doubles every two seconds, making that the worst kind of electricity imaginable, for two seconds, until...

# ¿ Feb 2, 2016 16:02

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Chiwie posted:

This is pure gold and I see no way it can end in a PR nightmare. Not at all.

What I want to know is, has the rug just been wholly ripped out from under the the SC grey market?

# ¿ Feb 3, 2016 12:13

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

AP posted:

Paladinus posted:

Lmao.
https://gifsound.com/?gif=www.ultraimg.com/images/v28Wq8.gif&v=ZG3NlOgy0Zo&s=40

I had my own powerful Soundtrack Moment with that clip. It came and went, but your effort galvanised me into (cheap, hijacked) action...

https://gifsound.com/?gif=www.ultraimg.com/images/v28Wq8.gif&v=GinV3-S4lz4&s=54

# ¿ Feb 3, 2016 14:29

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

AP posted:

Via mo-cap.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2016 10:45

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

StarbloodKiss posted:

No idea, sadly. I've been stalking him for a while and loved his posts since they were all bird related. It shows up as him being banned on the forums, but it says he's on probation until the 6th. But I don't think it's on probation since it actually says he's banned.

Either CIG's forum is jacked up or he's really banned. Either way, you can check his post history. He really hasn't done anything bad outside of 'misconduct'.

Perhaps they noticed his org name...

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/orgs/PARP

# ¿ Feb 5, 2016 09:51

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Mirificus posted:

They are developing Persistence through shopping

Wow, that guy has 1413 posts on the Frontier Developments forums. 879 in the current Citizen thread, and 513 in the last Citizen thread.

The other 21 were just wasted.

And... that's him in the pig pen...

Eonwe posted:

the discord chat owns because its a lot of people very angry about derek smart, and its always derek that is the insane angry person and not them

literally all just from today

Eonwe posted:

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/citizens/tastymax

1392 posts on the Frontier forums about SC... 6 posts on RSI forums about SC. A true and zealous missionary, taking the Word out to the heathens...

# ¿ Feb 5, 2016 10:45

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Goobs posted:

T'was no thread, was the CIG stream where I got banned for asking if a guy was Gary Oldman then made a new account, came on and proclaimed that I could only jerk off while listening to other peoples voices live on Twitch and never got banned for it. I was then 24 hour banned on all my accounts because the account I asked if someone was Gary Oldman on was reported by the CIG moderators.

I don't see why you'd be banned. You didn't even mention Hitler.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2016 16:36

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Germanski, noooooooooo.....

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/profile/123617/Germanski

On probation for the whole weekend. Is Cobblers available again to speak for our fine feathered friends?

# ¿ Feb 6, 2016 10:29

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

osker posted:

Your helmet cannot be opened.

> look
YOU SEE A TWISTY MAZE OF PASSAGES, ALL ALIKE
> east
YOU SEE A TWISTY MAZE OF IDIOTS, ALL ALIKE
> west
YOU SEE A TWISTY MAZE OF #!@$RT60^%#, ALL ALIKE
> west
YOU FK$#)DF) A $%$#%) MAZE OF #$#@)$#%, ALL <STAR CITIZEN HAS STOPPED WORKING>

# ¿ Feb 7, 2016 23:26

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Toops posted:

Things over at Solar Plebeian are progressing nicely. The video quality really ruins immersion, but this is just a lil' teaser:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YAnBanN6iw

Once I get the UI done, and build a downloader/patcher which makes you re-download the entire game every time, I'll start posting weekly builds and write a dev blog. PM me if you want to lend a hand. Especially on the modeling/assets/animation side of things, I'm a loving programmer god dammit.

PAAAAAARP

I don't see any birds. For the love of God, prioritise.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2016 10:36

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Toops posted:

I think this is the reason full-face folding helmets are being added to SC.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2016 12:32

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

You wake up in a cramped bunk. A door at the east end beckons, a green button flashing slowly beside it.

> OPEN DOOR
I do not understand that command.

> PRESS BUTTON
I do not understand that command.

> PRESS DOOR BUTTON
I do not understand that command.

> USE BUTTON
You cannot <<use>> that object.

> USE DOOR
You open the door.

> GO EAST
You are in a spaceship.

> LOOK
The lights are dim. A fuse box sparks and flashes behind its closed panel.

> INVENTORY
Fuse (1)

> PUT FUSE IN FUSE BOX
I do not understand that command.

> OPEN FUSE BOX
I do not understand that command.

> USE FUSE
You cannot <<use>> that object.

> USE FUSE BOX
You open the fuse box. A fuse is missing. The subspace reverse verse polarising decoupler is disconnected. The primary power relay is disabled.

> USE FUSE BOX
You place the fuse in the fuse box.

> USE FUSE BOX
You reconnect the subspace reverse polarising decoupler.

> USE FUSE BOX
You reverse the polarity of the subspace reverse polarising decoupler.

> USE FUSE BOX
You enable the primary power relay.

> USE FUSE BOX
You close the fuse box panel.
The lights flicker on. The radio crackles. "Good work, commando! Your expert repairs have saved the entire squad."

> USE FUSE BOX
Error: Star Citizen has stopped working.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2016 15:47

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Daztek posted:

I am a jack of all trades, master of none

Also, I am sorry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF9elfrrF4M

MP3: http://we.tl/9xKTV0l5Ew

That's hauntingly beautiful.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2016 10:12

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Toops posted:

I'm not sure what to call the "Destruction Derby" Game mode, anybody got some good names? Right now I'm going with "Destructo-Derby Paaarp Arena" which is weak.

Basically, all weapons are deactivated, there is only ramming, and you can't leave the arena under pain of death. The object is to destroy your opponents. Last plebe standing wins.

Beyond kill points, you get points for the following:
- Ramming (there's Dinky, Boss, and SAVAGE ram levels)
- Ice Burns (where you flip around and blast enemies with your thruster exhaust)
- Paaarps (I'm not sure what a paaarp attack is yet, but it involves an airhorn. Maybe just a sonic blast radius on a long cooldown timer?)
- Fatalaties (ships have finishing moves)

Hearse Busters

# ¿ Feb 9, 2016 10:41

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Toops posted:

Yeah this one really kills me. I've had to deal with chaos and change in every field of software engineering I've worked in. Games is no different.

The only real difference between game development and all other software dev is that games are entertainment, and the entertainment business is run by loving con men and hooligans. A career in games mainly appeals to these stunted, teenage, punk rock "gently caress rules" personalities. This is normal for code jockeys like me. But when this attitude persists all the way to senior management, you get clowns like Chris Roberts, with the mind of a spoiled 11-year-old rich kid, in charge of hundreds of millions of dollars. He doesn't like deadlines for the same reason kids don't like vegetables: He's not mature enough to know they're good for him.

That was me, exactly, in the late eighties. While at university, I went from dodgy back yard software skunkworks "resident", to garage-operation lone coder, to an actual paid position at a dodgy French game developer/publisher. That gig paid so little I couldn't afford the rent and food bills simultaneously... but still spouting "I'm never working 9 to 5 in a boring proper office", "I'm gunna be rich MY way, pay off the old folks' mortgage and drive a sports car", and all that crap.

Five glorious years of Amiga game development. Fun part of my life. Everything about that industry was great. Except the industry. Broken by shonky operators, incompetent project planning (can't bring myself to call what they did "project management") and breathtakingly shameless abuse of coders' work ethics and drive to complete.

It was about the time I had to choose between enjoying Paris on an empty stomach OR enjoying Paris without a roof over my head that I woke the hell up and got the gently caress out of games.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2016 12:25

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Bolow posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6343920/#Comment_6343920

They didn't properly read that part of the annual report.

1. The column of figures he's quoting there was Year Ended March 2011, not 2015.

2. All figures were in thousands of US dollars.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2016 12:58

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

They should really be saying verisimilitude.

I tried saying that once, but swallowed my tongue after the "m".

# ¿ Feb 9, 2016 13:32

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

DoctorStrangelove posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3757384

Enjoy yourself!

Thank you, thank you. I've never laughed so hard.

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

The Stimpire reminds me of this amazing thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3459842
Read Kirk's posts.

Until that one.

"Congrats, you guys broke Kirk".

"you're a mod for god's sake, DO SOMETHING"

# ¿ Feb 14, 2016 10:35

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

NaziFromThatTarantinoMovieGettingAllExcited.gif

QuizzicalReaderNotSureOfWhichImageAndWrestlingWithFeelingsOfMildInadequacy.gif

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 13:06

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

RattiRatto posted:

I think the following of this thread for months and the reading of over a terasuperbilion of posts is wort only for the full understanding of this twitter.
I'm truly amazed

Someone needs to send Pedro a quick summary of the Fourth Stimpire, and how it enriches Star Citizen lore.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 16:07

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Beet Wagon posted:

I can't find a better shot of it, but it's a print of a rainbow trout that I bought when we went to Alaska last summer. It looks like it's screaming because they actually paint the fish and then press it onto the paper to create the image, so not all of the fish come across. But that was a reproduction anyway, so at most I'm responsible for like 1/1000th of that fish's death.

Generally speaking I'm pretty benevolent. Any fishing I do is done with a spear, so at least I look the poor bastard in the eyes before I kill him :/

In the Fourth Stimpire, arts students undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless painart, where they are painted and then pressed onto paper to create an image. Due to the rigorous disembowelling process, not all of the arts student comes across in the picture.

[Editor's note: Technically, 40,000 years is not "endless"]

Real edit: gently caress you, Alaska!

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 17:11

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Beet Wagon posted:

It really is an awful feeling, especially because they bolt and you're probably never going to get a chance to put them out of their misery

I try to pick my shots really carefully, but you can't stone them 100% of the time. I always feel bad.

Holy gently caress that dag is adorable!

There's a huge industry for "commercial art" which is created by stamping the same art students over and over again, until their broken bodies can no longer hold ink.

fake edit: Alaska's cool as gently caress though.

Fish stamping art seems a bit weird to me, but arts student stamping is all good.

I wonder if you can be an art dealer in Star Citizen. Upload your own work, buy a gallery in a space station, and sell it to other citizens with a keen eye for quality art. I wish I'd asked about it in early 2014, because the answer would have been, "Yes, of course you can! All advanced human civilizations value their art!".

# ¿ Feb 15, 2016 17:24

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Iridium posted:

Time for 10 from the Chairman! Hot and steaming and ready for all of us.

http://i.imgur.com/2EeVx6S.mp4

Pfft, mass produced rubbish.

When I were a lad, we all 'ad to squat in a line on t' factory floor, and fill up each tray individually.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2016 09:47

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Berious posted:

I hope the Stimperor never stops posting or tweeting

My favourite so far... "You have clearly no idea about how pain development works."

# ¿ Feb 18, 2016 16:01

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

o4

...the secret Fourth Stimpire Salute.

It resembles a man trying to wave at you with a surgically altered arm that has two elbows, no wrists, and electric eels implanted where his tendons used to be.

What's that? What kind of electric eels? I bet you already know the answer to that question!

# ¿ Feb 19, 2016 13:35

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Yes but is it fun?

That's going to be my response for everything now.

If "a lifeless abyss that you can plunge into" doesn't sound like fun to you, you obviously know nothing about lifeless abyss fun plunging.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2016 15:28

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Lime Tonics posted:

If you are killed while at Criminal Level 5, you will be kicked off the server!!

Immer-shun!

# ¿ Feb 23, 2016 13:34

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Daztek posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/4766em/so_close_star_marine_ptu_220/

I'll bet it won't be in any way connected to the PU

All that was needed to show everyone that Star Marine was really real was a menu option named "Star Marine".

I know, I know, it doesn't actually do anything when selected.

It's the idea of the menu option. Remember...

"DREAM"

# ¿ Feb 23, 2016 13:41

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Chin posted:

"I became one with Chris"

That's got to be someone from here, right? Please?

Absolutely not, not, NOT a cult.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2016 10:43

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

AP posted:

https://twitter.com/StarPlaysGames/status/702466442164314112

"No-one seems to want to watch the stream, and no one seems to want to fight".

# ¿ Feb 24, 2016 15:21

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

The reclaimed wood stuff is pretty cool (although I'd be a little worried about the toxicity), but "hand-treated metal detailing" is a nice way of saying "we welded a frame and then paid some day laborer to rub acid on it".

Do your bit for saving the planet today! *

* Warning: May contain traces of Dimethyl phosphorochloridothioate, Hexachlorocyclopentadiene and nuts.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2016 16:01

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Chalks posted:

Yeah, it said "permbanned for sending a PM encouraging another player to commit bank fraud".

Holy crap. That's really hosed up.

Libel lawsuit in two weeks.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2016 23:14

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Xaerael posted:

Drumroll please, I give you...

BALLS BURN

The lights are blinding now
I scream without a sound
Had a wank, thought nobody knew
tried to run, now I bid you adieu
They found my stash of smut
my John Thomas they're about to cut
First it's the flay, please don't take it away
I'm not a bad guy

Balls Burn
kicking me in the crotch
Balls Burn
The executions I must watch
and you'll see
that the stump between my legs is from where I pee

Now we're always far apart
He was my little counterpart
went to close to the edge, broke my Stimpire pledge
I'm not a bad guy

Balls Burn
kicking me in the crotch
Balls Burn
The executions I must watch
and you'll see
that the stump between my legs is from where I pee

Balls Burn(background)
Stimperor took it all
Balls Burn(background)
Root stem and ball
Balls Burn(background)
going into the black and there's no turning back

Balls Burn
kicking me in the crotch
Balls Burn
The executions I must watch
and you'll see
that the stump between my legs is from where I pee

Balls Burn
kicking me in the crotch
Balls Burn
The executions I must watch
and you'll see
that the stump between my legs is from where I pee

Balls Burn
Balls Burn
Balls Burn
Balls Burn

I'm disappointed that the phrase, "I can't beat my civil meat" was absent from your lyrics. A missed opportunity.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2016 16:16

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

darkarchon posted:

Wew. The Video already showed the ship with only one seat. Did they still advertise it having 2? Wew.

This is good for Star Citizen.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 11:31

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Gerblyn posted:

I'm confused, is he saying that the poster must have been Beer in disguise, because only Beer has that level of charisma and ability to speak English?

Yet at the same time, Beer was apparently quite able to post under his own name.

That's all the proof I need that he was using an alt account!

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 17:26

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# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 06:51

Mr Fronts: Jan 31, 2016; Yo! The Mafia supports you. But don't tell no one. Spread the word.

Toops posted:

Although I'm not gonna get to hooking up the sound engine for Solar Plebeian until next week (just for basic ship sfx), I've been thinking a huge source of comedy could be the ship's computer voice. Here's a quick idea dump of some stuff the computer could say.

Please feel free to contribute your ideas.

"Toxic dinks detected"

# ¿ Feb 26, 2016 17:42

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