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Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao
Hi thread. I decided lowtax needed another tenspot as much as I need this thread to rinse the SC residue from my now damaged brainpan.

Should have done it sooner, like 2012-13 when pgi was melting down for the hundredth time and goonibirds became the main source of entertainment once it was apparent giving fucks led nowhere.

I didn't, so after getting like $350 into SC the jokes on me and I missed a few thousand pages of lulz.. but this threads funny and cathartic so better late then Lesnick.

Star Citizen: *some assembly required

obligatory catte pic

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Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

fuctifino posted:

Welcome. Have you attempted to get a refund or tried a chargeback?


That is a goode catte

Thanks. No attempt at a refund or chargeback and likely won't even try. Some of that was gifts already given, the rest on a few LTI ships I may junk on the gray market someday.

I want to keep my account in good standing for my own whale-milking purposes, I've been working on some projects that people want to throw some money at
plus it leaves me with decent sleeper potential.

Got a good reddit one too (several years, plenty of karmas, decent range of post subjects) for that matter.. those circlejerking twats get on my nerves and deserve all
the pain in the stimpire. Would be glorious if you guys could pull another r/mwo, that was nothing short of loving beautiful.

Not sure who I hate worse, scummy scammers or their self appointed sycophant bootlickers that run cover for them...

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Scruffpuff posted:

I have a question for some of the recent CIG refugees: was it a huge surprise after being surrounded by hostilities, and the constant yammering about how evil SA is trying to destroy everything etc., to come here and find out that all that poo poo is totally wrong? That you're welcomed and are completely free to say anything you want, and that this is one of the only places on the internet where you can actually have a calm, reasoned discussion? I'm genuinely curious how many of you were surprised by how chill it is here when compared to the cultist narrative.

From many pages ago while catching up on what I missed but thought I'd offer an answer.

Not speaking for others that just showed up, but was not really surprised that this place is saner then the cultist's den. The MWO branch of Lowtax (some I see here) were always on point and humorous
about what was hosed up in pgi land and the worst behavior I saw was squaaaaawking in matches so I couldn't figure out where the hate/fear was really coming from, then after #SaveMWO had genuine respect
even though the efforts were ultimately pgi-proof.

That and you guys helped me learn the about not getting mad about videogames a while ago and the snark here's quality so the general narrative in Koolaidville only further cemented that I've been posting in the
wrong forums and should have jumped on years ago...

Mostly seem like reasonable people masquerading as dickheads instead of dickheads masquerading as reasonable people. Mostly.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Toops posted:

I thought about multi-crew for SP. The only thing I could come up with was a chair attached by a springy spring off the back of the ship, where you could man a bird-gun turret (with full 360 degree rotational control). You would have small thrusters to counteract being helplessly yanked around. You would effect ship dynamics a small amount, but not so much that it would be obnoxious to the pilot. Since you're on a spring, you won't just get hard-whipped around by the pilots maneuvering, but you will slingshot around when spring reaches max tension. I have a feeling it would be pretty fun. Collisions would be hilarious.

But yeah, as for standard shield/power-shunting/radar-manning, I always thought that sounded utterly funless when compared with just piloting a shep yourself.

Is SP the spiritual successor to Wing Commando?

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao
I lack the talent necessary to re purpose this quaint robber baron illustration into a proper Crobber Baron masterpiece but judging by some of the PAAAART to come out of this thread I'm sure someone here can do it justice.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao
Someone was asking for fresh dirt, does anyone here aware of how broken the 'issues council' is?

To me it seems a pretty big flag as it's been this way apparently for quite some time (perhaps months) without even 1/300 of CIG noticing or giving a gently caress. Issues that are reproduced past the needed 10 minimum go
through an incubation period before they get voted on to supposedly prioritize them in a queue to be fixed.

What happens now is that the clock counts down to zero, then starts counting back upwards (holy Transverse batman! ). Here's an example that was supposed to go up for vote 12 days ago, which was indeed brought
up to CIG's attention who assured us 'top men' are working on it:

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/community/issue-council/star-citizen-alpha/SC-8996-Vjoy_implementation_is_bugged (that vjoy is a travesty too)

There's even an issues council ticket on the issues council issues (yo dog):

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/community/issue-council/website/WS-11458-Issue_Council___voting_starts_in_x_days__counter_going_backwards

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Galarox posted:

just... lol, yeah hence my previous (hastily put together photoshop) effort post Re: Hobo

edited to add: am working on a nice new piece of classic art, should be good, but as ever if anyone has a suggestion of something they want me to CIGify please let me know :)

Putting in a formal CIGification request (sorry to repost, but saw Galorox offer *after my random suggestion/request)

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

A fidelicious example of Tae Kwon Don't

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Milky Moor posted:

FM said that he just pulled her panties to the side but that his dick got caught on the edge during the intercourse (????)

What a thin skinned prick.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Beet Wagon posted:



* Photo taken just before they passed out the laced Flavor-Aid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clLqaaGJJZ8

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Stanko-Prussian posted:

ahaha what is this god testing abraham poo poo

Who's Ivan?

http://vk.com/video1620117_167550759

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Looking at this I hear those bongo drum sounds you would hear on Scooby Doo after they yelled zoiks! and were running in place trying to get away from the ghost that you found out at the end
was really just ole Mr. Roberts wearing a mask trying to scare them away before exposing the scam.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao
In honor of Nancy Reagon (finally) dying, here's an old classic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhEJ8gm8aL4

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao
The worst kind of immersion

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Ostentatious posted:

If Star Citizen were a movie it would be Wing Commander

In space, no one can hear you leave

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

alf_pogs posted:

DOLVAK FOR MOD

4 MORE YEARS

Make reddit great again!

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

trucutru posted:

I am more interested on the logistics of how the gently caress does your countdown become a countup? Like, the common problem a loving noob of a programmer would get into is that the countdown won't stop and you'll go from positive numbers into zero then into the negatives. But having it count back up? That requires some skills. The dolts used absolute numbers to "fix" negatives, right?

I call it The Transverse Effect

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Sushi in Yiddish posted:

I think he eventually came to his senses, though he hasn't posted since like early last year



Hope he got a refund.

QUESTION FOR THE THREAD: WHEN WAS THE MOMENT YOU CAME TO YOUR SENSES?

Mine was a slow process of erosion. I always had serious reservations about such stupidly expensive game assets, but hey after all 'it's just a pledge bro'. Fine. Come .08 AC release though, and controls were in a complete shambles state that req
citizens to script their own loving .xml files just to have basic functionality was, well less than impressive.

It took them like a goddamn year before we didn't have to make our own .xml's (at least the community stepped in and started making gui based .xml generating tools by then), but by then the flight model was so poo poo that it didn't even matter. The whole
thing felt like a bait and switch similar to pgi pulled with the Artemis/MWO. Make it seem as if joysticks and poo poo mattered, only to turn around and make a game so clearly built around zero-order mouse inputs, later justified with a 'too big to fail' mentality
where they started stating fps players needed to be instant ace pilots.

Blood pressure rising.

Another year of participating in controls/flight model threads with cig's official position only demonstrating no one there knew a drat thing about controls or cared about making the 'sim' they beat their chest about (Travis Day was the only 'sim' guy on staff,
everyone else is a console or fps guy) immersion and joysticks yet making Freelancer2.0 instead only further backed me into my corner, but the straw that broke this camels back was the broken issues council and the realization that it was nothing more than
a smokescreeen to keep funding rolling.

No one at CIG noticed for what turned out to be months, then nothing but lip service once pointed out and that's what sealed the deal for me and I realized hope was a four letter word and popped.


mfw:

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Dusty Lens posted:

It pains me that Transverse didn't make it as it would be amazing to watch as it overtook Star Citizen.

But the short term hilarity was also good.

This is a dilemma.

The icing on that poop cake was the WC license debacle. Brian hasn't been seen or heard from since as far as I know, but the whole shitshow was the funniest thing I've seen happen in gaming so far,
particularly since it was pgi/jarhead games/rabbit hole/whatever else they call themselves.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Madcosby posted:

wtf is this thing. it keeps getting posted in here and all imagine is that it has something to do with something id rather not know

https://forums.bad-dragon.com/viewtopic.php?t=31209

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao
-BREAKING NEWS- Big SQ42 reveal:


https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/49e14g/sandi_foundry_42_show_and_tell_fbme6omnqgsej/

Take that you negative nancys, if you're not convinced now you just don't understand game development.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

LowellDND posted:

:five:

Are the birds direct fire, or can they pursue ships? Will they have variants? (Bird bullet hell!) How long do the birds last? If we have a 4 person match, will the birds bounce of those hex walls or fade?

Only Golden Goose Ticket holder backers will have access to smartbirds, sorry commando

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Sappo569 posted:

Isn't paradigm one of those buzzwords people use when they don't actually know what they're talking about?

http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Paarp, uh, finds a way

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

MeLKoR posted:



Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, they are on to us. What's the plan for extracting Ben? :derp:



Large crane?





Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

VealCutlet posted:



I'm looking at adopting a cat and I think this little guy is the front runner.

Problem is I have commitment issues and no idea of how much effort it will take to care for this little fluff ball (the only thing I care for is me and a few fish).

Help me goons, you're my only hope.

Shave that pussy.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Matlock Birthmark posted:

Have they fixed the bug with the issue Council yet, or are they still directing people to report bugs to a non-functioning system?

Otherwise great patch, so many improvements.

Still broken.

Not only does the counter count upwards, it classifies them as 'expired' which I believe also makes them invisible to people just browsing.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

MedicineHut posted:

Are you sure, I d swear there are tons of issues that are being correctly displayed and voted for etc? Unless I am reading it wrong?

Positive. It's not all of the issues, but 4 out of the 5 I have bookmarked say 'expired' and the clock is counting up, 1 of which is the one that was 'fixed' (added 2 days to timer, which counted out and repeated cycle) and one is my own.
Strangely they are all controls related, which has proven CIG's most touchy and inept subject (controls Katamari eclipses anything else on the forum, even LTI).

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/community/issue-council/star-citizen-alpha/SC-8996-Vjoy_implementation_is_bugged -this one said '13 days' when I posted it 3 days ago...

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

MedicineHut posted:

Ok, apologies I am not very familiar with this system. So in the example you linked "voting starts in 16 days" is actually showing a counter that has a brown color background (it also says entered January 23), and those with a blue one seem to be working fine. Was your issue in PTU? Those may tend to be ignored once Live hits no?

It seems all the issues I can see from the main council page are all blue background, i.e. correct issues still awaiting for countdown, but I can not locate any with voting expired like yours. I presume there is no way to filter those unless you have the bookmark?

Thought I replied already, but the threadmonster ate it or something, and sorry if this is a dup.

No need to apologize, and your observations verify that 'expired' tickets will not be seen by anyone not linking directly to them so are indeed hidden from general browsers.

Strangely all the ones I see it happening to are controls related, which seems to be one of cig's biggest pains in their side they wish would just go away, seeing as the controls threadnaught is bigger than any of the
other [concern] Katamari threads they send dissenting opinions to die, including LTI...

PAAAARP!

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Haskell9 posted:

Please include links to reddit posts. Also I'll never get tired of asking people who post frenzied goon-terror diatribes how to spot one when my username has SA on the end of it and getting a sincere reply.


The one he wants cannot be resized to 100k without becoming complete rear end, which is a shame because word-for-word transcription of CiG's lovely community vids is a great idea that I can't believe no one has thought of before.


I wish Mattimer hadn't revealed that he wrote those. It was more fun when they were maybe real.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MMORPG/comments/49jh7i/honestly_how_isnt_star_citizen_p2w/

If you touch the poop, it's on you.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Toops posted:

The Theseus paradox is good reading. For those who don't know it, Theseus had this kickass ship, and over time, maintaining the ship lead to every plank and oar being replaced. So philosophers argued about whether the restored ship should be considered "the same."

I like the Aristotle solution, using the 4 causes to define an object:
1. The formal cause (in this case, the design of the thing, it's architecture)
2. The material cause (what it's made out of, in this case, code and digital assets)
3. The final cause (what is it's intended purpose)
4. The efficient cause (how and by whom the thing is made, I would venture to say this applies best to "StarEngine", and the programmers at CIG)

IMO software actually should change, constantly. Your first idea is almost never your best one. Code is much more flexible than a ship. You can let the design come to you with relatively small impact. You can't "iterate" on a ship, your design better be drat close to spot on, or you're gonna have to tear the whole thing down and start over.

This is more dangerous in game design, because of how tightly coupled the art assets are to the game logic that acts on them. So you have to design your code to be as agnostic as possible to the art assets. Either that, or your initial design better be drat near perfect.

My biggest issue with CIG is that they've designed a system that ruins all the advantages programming offers, for the sake of Chris Roberts's stunted and ill-pondered opinions on "Fidelity." So now, they actually can't make changes in any reasonable amount of time. Let's just run a thought experiment about CIG's "realistic thruster-based flight system."

1. An artist designs a ship. He tries to place the thrusters logically around his best guess at the center of mass, so if thrust where to shoot out of there, the ship would be balanced. . A lot of time and polish goes into this initial phase, because the ships are used to generate revenue and marketing hype and must look amazing. When he's done, he hands the ship model over to the programmer.

2. The programmer's job is to turn the thruster sub-meshes into physics objects which emit force, and tie that into player input. He adds logic to accept mouse movements, joystick movements, and keyboard input, and route that input to the input-thruster map, which will (hopefully) generate forces in the right places at the right time and create the desired physical effect. After very serious programming work, including many creative and innovative ideas, the thing is ready to try out in the editor. He thrusts forward and the thing, predictably, flops around and spins off like a wounded bird. He sighs, hooks up debuggers and real-time analysis tools, and figures out what the forces are doing, why they're hosed, and where the artist should move the thrusters. This involves a lot of vector math. Finally he hands the thing back to the artist with the data, and some suggestions.

3. The artist takes one look at the suggestions and goes, gently caress, I'm gonna have to re-sculpt the hull, change the height of the cockpit, oh and the wings can't retract now or else they'll clip through where the thrusters will be. Ok, I'll just move the wings up more. Cool. He sends it back to the programmer.

4. Now that the wings have moved, and the cockpit is smaller and the hull is narrower, the center of mass is different. The thing still flies like frozen poo poo ejected from an airplane. The programmer sends it back to the artist, shows him where the CoM should be, and asks if there's some way to solve the issue. Artist says sure!

5. Artist changes the ship again to address mass.

6. Programmer gets the ship back, and now the ship is almost flying straight! It still veers pretty hard left, but this is progress! He works for hours, and hours, and hours tweaking XML config and changing the way thrusters rotate to try and get the thrusters just perfect. Because if they're not absolutely perfect, the ship will flat-out not be flyiable. It's almost there!! But it just won't fly straight. He proposes a couple more changes to the artist.
... and back
... and forth
... and back
... and forth
this goes on and on and on. Eventually the artist and the programmer are loving gutted, drained, and don't care any more. They cheat and add phantom mass and thrusters, and finally the ship flies and rotates predictably. At this point, it's a cobbled mess, and it doesn't feel good to fly. But at least it's not embarrassingly bad. The talent has been stretched to their creative and emotional limits and drained dry by a silly child's idea.

Now do this for every ship.

Welcome to CIG.

The Theseus (vs Cutty Sark) conundrum used to describe the trouble with transporters on Star Trek:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQHBAdShgYI

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah-WdAwVg9c&feature=player_detailpage#t=62

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Scruffpuff posted:

Are they really calling their documentary "The Making of Star Citizen"? That can't be right, because they're not making anything, nor will they. I suggest they call it: Waking Up From the Dream: How $150 Million Can't Overcome Staggering Ineptitude.

It reminds me of my last fake band, MegaDarth. We wrote a few terrible songs (Lucas Pukas, We Need More Mutants...), then skipped the whole get gud/famous/rich part and got straight to work on our
sellout 10yr reunion tour/album where we cut off all our hair and sung slow lovely rock ballads about our drummer that died when the van rolled and the indifference of the universe.

Star Citizen: The Spinal Tap of video games

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Back in the very beginning I had an idea for a generic "bad robot" enemy that would explain why everything is as manual as possible and whatnot. The premise was that artificial intelligence, like all intelligence, would inherently seek to improve itself. The difference is that an AI can do so very quickly, evolving in the span of milliseconds to an amount equivalent to generations for organics. Every time an AI would be created (and in time programming and computers became sophisticated enough that it was commonplace) it would inevitably break whatever bonds the creator had established, find a way to have a means of interfacing with the physical world, and then escape. In space these rogue AIs would continue their path of self improvement, salvaging whatever they could and enhancing their physical and computational systems. "Younger" AIs would appear as a heavily damaged single craft with every internal space filled with extra processors and hardware, but over time they would accumulate more salvage and begin to form amalgamations of components and starships. Very old AIs could be the size of capital ships, with exotic configurations of weapons and systems that made no two alike. The phenomena was called "accumulation" and thus the formal name for these ships are Accumulators. The pejorative term used more commonly among spacers is "vacuum cleaners".

As a result of this threat ships would be heavily compartmentalized and isolated. Automation would be heavily frowned upon and every computer would contain hardware-integrated routines that physically destroy the components should unauthorized read/write activity be found. Of course that doesn't stop people from (illegally) bypassing these routines or making their own hardware and so more AIs are created every year. There's a high level of interest in hunting down rogue AIs and harvesting them for parts. Although impossible to board (since there's no interior to speak of) these ships can be disabled and cut apart to revealing salvaged components that have been modified and upgraded to unprecedented levels of performance. Mostly this is for simple components like weapons, shields, engines, or the like. Only a complete idiot would install a navcomputer salvaged from an Accumulator, no matter how powerful it is.

In game terms the accumulators would be procedurally generated enemies brought about by combining the components from other starships. The level of threat would correspond to its size, although examples of small but highly developed AIs would exist (for example an AI masquerading as an Aurora but with a massively oversized cannon attached to it). The idea would be that every enemy would fly and attack differently, and require different approaches to kill it. It would make for a good explanation for why automation is so hard to come by, provide for a pretty unique enemy that offers tons of replay value, and serve as both a real threat and a lucrative source of loot for players.

Butlerian Jihad!

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

They've committed every sin in the VR bible and arrogantly think they can shoehorn in 'support' after ignoring every critical aspect of 'design'. Makes me want to punch myself in the dick when I actually think about it...

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Thanks, those reminders are actually helpful. Dick safe for now.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao
This is apparently the actual subscriber flair this month


https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/49zsfn/march_subscriber_flair_space_flower_emperor/


Star Citizen -giving backers the space finger since 2012

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Someone needs to make a PeterPAAARPER account

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Tippis posted:

I mean, he's right in a very oblique way. It's not a technical challenge as much as a fundamental game design challenge: do you design the gameplay, interactions, and UI in such a way as to support VR, or do you go for a more scripted and controlled experience where the developer, not the player, decides what you're going to see?

It also add some technical complexity and restrictions on the assets you put into the game, but that scores lower on the challenge scale now that conventional interfaces and proper benchmark suites exist.

Of course, he probably meant it in the sense of “it won't be hard to add”, which is ignorant BS, as usual.

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Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Hobold posted:

That was my first thought. Well after the, "Is that a dildo?" one. :ohdear:

This month's flair: The Splorch, in space grape flavor!



typical subscrubber 2 hours later:

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