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Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Derek is in the unfortunate position where the media normally would be and he has to hedge really goddamn hard to cover his rear end. I don't know about any kind of "legal" or whatever, but it is wise of him to hedge hard on that poo poo because this story needs a happy ending. Derek isn't killing SC, CIG is killing SC, but if Derek started doubling down on poo poo like that it could have very serious real world repercussions and he shouldn't want to tangle up in that.

I sort of suspect he's known about this FCA thing for a while and that this small mention, hedged as it is, is his tipping his hand a bit about what he knows without stating it outright, because he realizes he's been effectively blueballing us for weeks now.

The other thing is that the wheels of government turn slowly, and if they are just now starting to look or have opened an investigation but haven't yet indicted, it could be a while before that indictment actually happens. It's the uneasy moment of an investigation where the cops have stopped someone for questioning. You get your phone out to record in case some poo poo Goes Down, but it's still possible that they could go "oh you're not the guy we're looking for go ahead." If you report "hey this guy got arrested" before the charges actually drop, it's got legal repercussions. So even if SCA did visit CIG, until they actually indict, it could go either way, and saying too early "SCA dropped by on them" could go really really wrong.

So even just this statement, hedged as it is, is sticking his neck out a bit.

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Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Variable 5 posted:

But, really, what's the worst that can happen?
-FCA shuts down the UK offices
-CIG pays out some money
-couple of fall guys serve time
-CR relocates to Hollywood, releases a lovely mocap video game with no gameplay
-CR blames it all on backers not donating enough money for them to pay their taxes


I guess my lovely analogy would be that if the existence of global warming was based solely on it being a winter with record highs. The ELE may or may not be happening, but this blog post is hardly anything new or groundbreaking.

Worst that can happen? FCA shuts down the UK offices, freezes their UK assets, prevents transfer of money from UK to US, indicts Chris and Ortwin, triggers a US investigation into the same.

Like I said, though, this blog itself doesn't have the ELE or even the story about the ELE, but it's pointing to the place where you will see the ELE coming if you watch.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Cao Ni Ma posted:

Can our goony tentacles reach F42 and verify the FCA thing? I'm sure we can get one of our guys in but it would be best if we had an agent already embedded.

They wouldn't, or shouldn't, for the same reason newspapers don't say someone was arrested until charges are filed, it's always "in police custody."

You don't see the cops knocking on someone's door and report they got arrested - maybe the cops just found their stolen bike. But you do watch and wait for that perpwalk.

This is the same sort of thing. Chances are pretty good some suits knocked on Chris's airlock door, but until they bust out the worst kind of electricity it would be dumb as poo poo to announce a Stimpening.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Derek has a bad signal to noise ratio because he has a kind of neurosis about trying to be clear, but rather than being concise he over explains everything and provides a ton of context. This is characteristic of many of the great internet warlords, especially from the Usenet days. And it goes with assuming your target reader is either uninformed or an idiot - both fair bets with the general readers but not with goons or redditors who are already committed. That's okay, he doesn't have to convince us and he won't convince them.

If you don't read this blog expecting bombshells it's a nice summary of the state of the paaarp. If you go into this looking for ELE level ordinance you're going to be disappointed. But if you stop scrutinizing the finger and look at the procedurally generated moon it's pointing to, you can get a glimpse of the apocalypse Derek sees in his waking dreams.

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib



Bernie confirmed for reading this thread

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Do I even warrant PostNotes by MeLKoR(TM) ? I shitpost now to find out

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

ManofManyAliases posted:

Do you guys honestly believe CiG would waste time trolling theses forums as shills?

Yes I believe CIG would waste both time and money trolling these forums as shills because that is the kind of thing that an insane person who writes emails about being the best saleswoman since she was a little girl would authorize and personally oversee

I 100% believe that this is a thing that CIG would do because CIG is an incompetent company that is very very vain

This is a company that invented a 10 minute time out system for bad guys in their pre-alpha and tied it to the system clock and introduced a new pre-pre-pre-alpha private test mode for knobgobblers only because of dancing cat videos I mean they are capable of any stupid thing at this point

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

ManofManyAliases posted:

Fair point, but I don't think it was sanctioned by CiG management. If anyone posts here as a shill, they do so on their own accord.

To the pre-alpha point: who's to say that other companies don't have a private test group while alpha is also ongoing? Someone on reddit said something recently:

If there are 24 users per 2 cores on a server, and they want to test max users on a server, they'd need 192 users to test a 16-core server. It's a lot easier to just target and receive feedback from that small, closed group, no?

Most other companies do have a private test group while an alpha is ongoing. They are paid QA staff. Because if you are doing work like playing a pre-alpha to test and ID bugs you should be paid for that work.

This is yet another one of these examples of ways in which CIG is backwards and doing things wrongly. You cannot get good test feedback from people invested in a project (literally) who are volunteers who have to necessarily believe that the game is already the best ever in order to have the privilege of being an unpaid QA intern working from home.

Evocati should totally exist - it should be paid professional on-location staff with console access to identify bugs and see what scripts are running when those bugs occur and then quickly work with the dev team employing agile methodologies to correct those bugs when feasible and to provide steady constant feedback during refactoring to ensure other poo poo isn't breaking.

I don't understand why this even needs discussed I mean seriously?

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

ManofManyAliases posted:

With 300 or so employees, how are you going to get almost 2/3rd of them to stress-test to that capacity without interrupting the flow of work (insert joke about "what kind of work - they're doing nothing right now" here).

Edit: I'm not a game developer or claim to have that kind of knowledge, so wtf do I know . . .

You hire people to do this job. This is a job you pay people to do. Stress-testing is done after the pre-alpha, in such as a PTU.

If you want people to stress-test poo poo you don't bury it behind a second closed pre-alpha, you just have them log into your open beta.

But you have to have working netcode for that so.....

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Thanks for slowing down everyone it was a wild ride catching up since 11

850 posts with a 3 hour time out in the middle y'all done good

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

I feel so sorry for that tattooist who had to listen to Ben talk about Wing Commander for 20 minutes or however long that took

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

He has dunked on Stoutman a few times and a few times on the other people in the chat. It's kind of hilarious. He's lost his mind entirely.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

"I suck at Star Citizen. I don't play it because it's not fun." - Disco Lando, 4/15/16

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

https://www.twitch.tv/stoutman_pr/v/60652098

Archival / recap link for those who missed it. Really worth a watch, truly. 100% worth archiving.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Sushi in Yiddish posted:

These two people on the bottom of the screen basically have the face that CNN anchors have when they're interviewing Ben Carson. Like a stream of total stream of conciousness.

Towards the second hour Stoutman realizes he has lost complete control and the train is totally off the rails and he just kinda shuffles about anxiously for 20 minutes or so while the girl keeps goading Lando to open random boxes he just has laying around his room unopened.

It is amazing.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Well wasn't that just a hell of a thing to catch up to.

I'm excited as hell for a Monday, tell you what.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Eonwe posted:

what the gently caress even is this thread

I missed a lot of pages someone lost the best Ben quotes for me

They aren't any of them particularly good or funny or even interesting, just garden variety edgy racist/misogynist stuff. It's the volume of it that is staggering.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Once there was a ship with a pilot, engineer, and 5 gunners, but only 6 escape pods. Ben said they'd never need to bail out unless someone was already dead. But Ben! Ben! You're that guy. :rip:

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Saw posted:

Erin came into the office and locked the door behind him. He could hear the crashing of glass in the distance. 'That would be the whales breaking through the front door' he thought to himself.
Chris said, "errrr, Erin."
"Yeah?"
"ahhhm, errr, I done another bad thing." Chris replied while putting his hands palms together in front of his chest - almost like he was praying, then he started moving them side to side, keeping his palms together.
"It doesn't matter" Erin said.
Chris said, "ehhhh, Erin."
"Yeah?"
"ummm, I'll go find another, ahhhm, job to work in, if you errrrmmm want me, I uhhh, I uhhh, I might want to become a farmer."
Erin's shoulders slumped down. "No," he said. "I want you to stay with me here."
Chris said "Tell me like you, um, you done before." He then put his index fingers & thumbs together forming a rectangle. Then he closed one eye and looked through his digit rectangle, like a director framing a shot - swooping around the office changing directions persistently.
“Tell you what?” Erin replied.
“’Bout the other umm, guys an’ about, errr, us.”
Erin said, “Game publishers out there, they don’t want PC programmers. They put their stake in console gaming – blowing their chance at real fidelity. They don’t give a hoot in hell about the PC”
“But not us,” Chris cried happily. “erm, tell about us now.”
Erin could hear a repeated thud sounding in the distance – he knew the whales were now working on the doors to the mo-cap studio. “But not us,” he said.
“ahhm, errr, Because…”
“Because I got you an’…”
Chris finally stood still, changing his hands so that his thumbs & index fingers looked like he was pantomiming two pistols, only he kept the tips of his thumbs together, both fingers pointed at Erin. “An’ I got you. We got each other, that’s what, we give a hoot in hell about PC gaming” Chris cried in triumph using the words he’d said so many times before that his mouth didn’t stumble once while reciting them. When he got to “each other”, his right hand alternated between pointing at Erin and them himself.
Chris said, “ah, tell how it’s gonna, ah, erm, be.”
“Look at the monitor over there Chris, and I’ll tell you so you can almost see it.”
Chris turned his head and looked at the monitor. He was so anxious to hear Erin tell their dream once more that his hands stopped their near perpetual motion. He still swayed his body though.
“We’re gonna get a new development studio and this time we’ll finally finish creating the best damned space game ever,” Erin began.
Both men could now hear the sounds of the whales working on breaking through the door to Lesnick’s office. That’s the last one before this one Erin thought. Erin pulled a pistol from the back of his waistband. He took off the safety and put the pistol on the table behind Chris, who was still looking raptly at the monitor as Erin had told him. He stared at the back of Chris’s head – at the area where his head and neck met.
“ahhhm, Go on,” said Chris.
Erin took up the pistol, his hands shaking.
“ummm, Go on,” said Chris. “Tell what’s ermmm, gonna be in the ahhh, game.”
“We’ll have fighters, and capital ships,” said Erin. “An we’ll have space ports, and bio-domes for farming.”
“And we’ll grow millet for the birds!” Chris shouted – once more repeating a phrase he’d said so often before that his mouth managed to say it smoothly.
“For the birds,” Erin repeated.
“And I, errr, I get to feed, the umm, birds.”
“You get to feed the birds.”
Chris giggled with happiness. “And we get to urrr, live off the ahhhm, donations.” Chris started to turn his head back to Erin.
“No, Chris. Keep looking at the monitor, like you can almost see the game.”
Chris said, “I errr, ummm, thought you was, ahhh, mad at, errr, me, Erin.”
“No,” said Erin. “No, Chris. I’m not mad. I never been mad, and I ain’t now. That’s a thing I want you to know.
Chris begged, “Let’s get to it, urrrmm, now. Let’s ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, get to programming it now.”
“Sure, right now.” Erin raised the gun and steadied it; he put the muzzle of it close to Chris’s head and pulled the trigger. Chris’s body flew to the ground and came to rest looking strikingly similar to the T-pose.
The thumps coming from the door to the office let Erin know that the whales had finally made it – he hoped that seeing Chris’s body would satiate their need for destruction and that they wouldn’t require him as a sacrifice as well.

:drat:

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Guys I've done some research involving . . . well, nevermind that.

The Sandi account is. . . . D_Smart

Think about it. Think about who Sandi is and what she craves most in life.

She played us like a drat fiddle.

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Kavak posted:

I'm hoping they do a followup to Dragonspear for BG II like they seem to be implying at the end of it.

Trent Oster said that if they looked at more Infinity and Beyond Engine (My term) games, Dragonlance and Dark Sun would be up there...

Dark Sun goddamn owns. I would play the poo poo out of a modern Dark Sun game. Is there anything since Shattered Realms even for PC?

Goddamn, that was my first experience with a game where you could unknowingly gently caress yourself by doing something out of order. Amazing.

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Anyone who doubted Derek's passion and dedication to his art should read that post about Louis or whatever

Dude has been doing this poo poo since the 90s I'm telling you he is a pro

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Lonkface posted:

MWO taught me the meaning of Minimum Viable Product.

You'd better get a cat in that post quick boy if you've learned nothing from your time here or the manual it should be that

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Star Citizen shills are destroying our way of life sniping pages and not even mentioning it

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

This cannot stand

Edit: for the first time in my life I wish I had a cat so I could fix this loving travesty

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Lonkface posted:

That reminded me of the scene in American History X, the fat guy singing in the van.. and now I'm imagining Ben do it.

your new av is savin' your rear end this time because it's technically a cat picture I guess but it won't count twice

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

KM Scorchio posted:

So what are the bets on the first fatality when this project finally folds? Backer suicide? Devs lynched by by distraught citizens? Bens precarious health gives out in the face of seeing his idol fall from grace? I seriously can't see this thing fading away without some bloodshed given how invested so many crazy people are at this point.

The thing about Ben is it seems he's been getting increasingly disenfranchised with Croberts, and the thing of it is that he's crossed a Rubicon at this point. He cannot, when the chips are cashed in and the cards are back in the box, just go back to running WCNews. That is over, he will forever be associated with this brand.

When he logs into Steam, he'll take poo poo for Star Citizen.

When he logs into WCNews, he'll take poo poo for Star Citizen.

If he pops onto IRC, he'll get poo poo for Star Citizen.

He's past the point of no return and cannot go back to the Internet he once knew and lived on. Ben of all the characters I wonder about the most. In a story book he'd end up realizing he'd frittered his life away and he becomes a marathon runner or goes to trek the Himalayas where he finds peace or something.

In reality he probably remains hella depressed and huge until his body fails, not just having to have seen his savior crucified but having been dragged down in the wake.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

I couldn't sleep last night for lack of a thread to read until I passed out.

I dedicate this suffering to the Stimperor.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib


Read this carefully. The release date is finally going to be released this year.

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Skellybones posted:

Next Ten For The Chairman:

"This question is from Stimperor69: 'Hi Chris, will the release date for Star Citizen be announced this year?' That's a really good question, thanks. I can safely say *wild gesticulating* that the release date *wild gesticulating* will be released *wild gesticulating* this year."

Off stage, Lando inhales sharply. Another baseless, wild-eyed promise he would have to walk back immediately.

"I'm sure when Chris says the release date will be released this year, he means that, you know, we're going to try to make progress towards that. The release date will probably be ready to release this year, that's definitely true, but whether or not we release it depends on whether or not the actual game will be ready on the date we decide to release. For example we could say the game would be released in 2017, and we could release that date this year, but if the game can't actually be released at that time, in that case we might have to change the release date. So generally we just think it's better to take a wait and see approach to this kind of thing. I certainly hope we can release the release date this year, though, and I look forward to seeing it too!!"

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

The word is "fidelitousness" tia

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

On the page 3535
Ain't gonna need to post the truth, tell no lie
Everything you post, shill and say
Is in the blog you read today

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Once they release Sq42, they could probably abandon CryEngine altogether - product is released, obligation is fulfilled. Then they could get a sensible engine and start all over again. Of course, they would need a little bit more funding. . .

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:





THIS WILL SAVE PC GANIMG!!!

Guys what if this is actually how Chris Roberts sees human beings? Like maybe this is what people look like to him.

:smith:

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Sabreseven posted:

I watched it the other day for nostalgic reasons, the first proper sci fi film I ever saw and I would've been about 5 or 6 as well. It is still a good, entertaining watch if you're pining for proper 1980's post Star Wars sci fi. :stwoon:

e: 3571 sniped, cat pic in "two weeks".

There's no way this idiot can deliver on a cat pic in this kind of timeframe IMO

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Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Goobs posted:

this thread is moving so loving slow jesus christ. 1 hour there was like 3 posts. RIP.

From Buddhism I learned that all things come to an end, but from Star Citizen I learned that some things never come to a beginning.

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Paramemetic posted:

From Buddhism I learned that all things come to an end, but from Star Citizen I learned that some things never come to a beginning.

And from Derek Smart I learned some things never loving finish

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Jason Sextro posted:

is this how Skynet is born?

No, but it's how Skynet decides to burn the surface of all life

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

I love that the facilities manager quit.

He's lost too many good men in Ben's office

He's been petitioning for months to get the kind of oil resistant Tyvek suits his men need to clean Ben's chairs but no dice

He quits after he finds the incinerator room packed full of pizza and donut boxes but they weren't ever actually put into the incinterator

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Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

Moma are you an undercover UEC space cop? you have to tell me if you're a space cop

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