Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House - The Something Awful Forums

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LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Ghostlight posted:

You buy an icecream van to convert into a taco truck. It comes with a freezer to keep things cool, but you also need to heat things up so you install a microwave.

Chris Roberts decides he needs hotdogs, so now you also need a steamer. Then he decides your tacos need to be fresh so you also need a deep fryer, and you need a stove to do the mince as you can no longer do pre-prep at the beginning of the day.

Now it's very difficult to move around in your icecream taco hotdog truck and you forgot to install a fridge so all your ingredients have to be defrosted and taste like poo poo.

I like this metaphor but what the gently caress kind of taco truck are you going to that they'd use a microwave for anything?!?! please seek out better taco options tia

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 22:42

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# ¿ May 21, 2022 00:12

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

MeLKoR posted:

Can someone link the /scg/ section? 4chan is even worse than reddit.

if you ever need to find something specific on 4chan just use one of the many archiving services (archiveteam has a list) to run a search, it's wayyy easier than trying to use 4chan directly

# ¿ Oct 27, 2015 19:10

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

RuckusRouser posted:

This ends at 5pm ET, correct; they only have 30min left to talk about actual gameplay and design?

tbh that's probably way more than they need to cover everything

# ¿ Nov 19, 2015 21:33

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

A Neurotic Jew posted:

hahahahaha he crashed the minute the game loaded. alright I'm gonna stop reporting the crashes now.

No keeps doing it, I need the vicarious thrill and can't watch now- maybe just edit a post to keep track?

# ¿ Nov 20, 2015 01:28

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

A Neurotic Jew posted:

Oh good, encouragement for me to post that in the last 3 minutes he: Crashed, got in to the hangar, crashed before he got out of the hangar, tried to reload and then crashed before the next loading screen ended.

"ok star citizen now please work"

I'll use this post as a crash log.

8:35 PM) he crashed

Your're doing god's work

(Not YWHW, like one of the more minor classical dieties)

# ¿ Nov 20, 2015 01:39

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

OhDearGodNo posted:

The best part of this thread is Octopode going full smug because 2.0 isn't a complete disaster.

Star Citizen: Be proud of our mediocrity.

hey man, they've managed to release a patch that lets an alpha of the game be played for more than 4 literal minutes without crashing

if that isn't cause for severe smugness after multiple years of development work on an off-the-shelf engine I don't know what is

# ¿ Nov 21, 2015 01:14

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

illectro posted:

In Crusader Kings II an attractive female ruler will give you insane levels of diplomacy magic (note, I meant to type diplomatic, but messed up, spell correct improved on this)
https://m.reddit.com/r/CrusaderKings/comments/1dh6bv/tip_the_power_of_beautiful_women/

Similarly in the fallout games there's usually a perk that gives advantages when dealing with the opposite sex 'Black Widow' is more powerful then the male counterpart because most enemies are male.

And of course Mass Effect where the advantage is listening to a better actor.

In Kerbal space program the starting female 'Valentina Kerman' has better stats than any of the males, but these just controls the facial expressions and doesn't confer any real advantage.

In Blacklight: Retribution female characters have notably smaller models and less distinctive silhouettes than the male characters, which is advantageous in that game even if the hitboxes are identical

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 17:29

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Gwaihir posted:

Holy gently caress what the hell is even going on here.

This is like, worse than bunnyman somehow. I DONT EVEN

I think it's actually a pretty good photo that nicely encapsulates Star Citizen as a phenomena.

A man in a shabby apartment has is fixated on a creepy shrine he has constructed to Star Citizen. A grossly outdated TV surrounded by the discarded boxes of old Wing Commander games implies both current poverty and nostalgia for a better past. He has obviously chosen his hairstyle and mode of dress to reflect his devotion to Star Citizen, but the context of the scene reveals he has nothing to show for this devotion but what he has crudely constructed for himself. His disinterested cat plays with the unplugged cord of his joystick.

Art.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 18:59

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Roflan posted:

But if the butt hurts, that means you had a lot of fun last night.

Or made a disastrous dining choice

# ¿ Jan 6, 2016 01:16

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Romes128 posted:

SWORDS

https://web.archive.org/web/2007110...dgcfjjinfhimecg

The one that stands out for me is that she lists training in "audition techniques"

Like sure take the hell out of that class but why are you putting it on a resume?

# ¿ Jan 6, 2016 01:22

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Wafflz posted:

You guys must be mistaken, Chris Roberts is a visionary and no one would could have come up with crawling through vents before Star Citizen.

have they updated that article/design document on stances and the breath cycle to properly account for this innovative new posture?

# ¿ Jan 7, 2016 00:23

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

it shouldn't be that hard to internet sleuth this one, since I used the same name

though there are some grammar errors there that I missed- yuck

# ¿ Jan 8, 2016 02:00

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Tippis posted:

You can do that in Deus Ex (2000).

You could do that in Trespasser (1998)

positioning objects and/or knocking everything around you down due to clumsy 3d movement are not exactly killer gaming innovations

# ¿ Jan 15, 2016 19:07

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Tippis posted:

Yeah. Deus Ex was just the one that immediately sprung to mind (and in my defence, it was a bit more precise than Trespasser).

No worries- Deus Ex is a much better/more memorable game than Trespasser. Trespasser just did some extremely cutting edge stuff for its time so its a good reference point for certain kinds of video gaming trivia. I also think the comparison is more apt in this case because despite all of its neat technical gimmicks Trespasser was notoriously bad as an actual game. That way we avoid subtly implying that these features that have been reasonably common for ~18 years are in any way connected to quality gameplay.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2016 19:29

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Dusty Lens posted:

Sounds like the grocery bagging minigame isn't for you.

People joke but tbh the mobile grocery bagging game "Bag It!" is more fun and stable than anything currently in Star Citizen

# ¿ Jan 31, 2016 23:19

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

darkarchon posted:

StarCitizen - It's like K-Pop

please do not insult K-Pop like that

# ¿ Feb 4, 2016 19:24

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

EightAce posted:

Fedora's
Beards
Adventure time t shirts
full sleave tats
Pervy weird anime 3d prints on desks

and loving vapes

should be banned in any game dev environment.

Guess a hatred of natural body hair really is a pre-condition for employment with CIG

# ¿ Feb 4, 2016 21:03

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

G0RF posted:

MELT TOKEN
Ben says the reason token can't stack is a development limitation, not because they don't want backers to have more of them. Sure.

This is like the worst possible explanation though- it's a direct insult to your intelligence and even if you are capable of suspending disbelief enough to sort-of buy it it should be the most extreme indictment of their technical prowess possible.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2016 23:02

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

MedicineHut posted:

What about the infamous MS quality tests and such? I mean how buggy can it be allowed to be on xbox?
Edit: nevermind, saw your subsequent comment on this, this loving thread goes too fast!

fyi you can say "gently caress" or anything else you want (though note you can and will be banned/probated for unfunny uses of racial slurs), the word filters are only for unregistered users

(also there are a few comedy word filters for registered users to filter out overused memes, namely im gay, cuck and cuckservative [quote this post to see what they are])

(the last one is by far the best imo)

# ¿ Mar 1, 2016 21:37

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Berious posted:

Oh man, I thought this thread had lost the capacity to shock me

well maybe his savings were just temporarily wiped out by an un-forseen financial obligation

(lol)

# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 19:44

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Madcosby posted:

I dont get how even if there's an animation of a ladder and it looks fine, that I'd give two shits about it.

Citizens didnt back this game to climb ladders. It's great that it looks fine but I wouldnt go to a video and claim the 2nd coming of Christ upon seeing a ladder climbing animation

i can literally think of no other game where some 2nd rate no purppose animation is treated like a viewing of the face of God

it's important because if you can't even make it up a ladder how can you possibly hope to reach the stars?

this is the key first step to realizing Star Citizen's full vision

# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 23:12

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Atreiden posted:

Yes it was.

It opens so many questions, like how do you get new movies? and how do you find rare movies? will someone produce movies in the verse? It's just so insane

Put it all together-

-Need for constant new movies
-Love of unnecessary mini-games
-A spaceship sold as an A/V intensive "News Van"
-Previous involvement by Illfonic, who are now hard at work on an MMO where you have sex for buffs or whatever**
-Star Citizen backers are sexual deviants

= you're going to get movies by buying them from producers of Space Bang-Bus porn

**If this is true I really hope the game includes a raiding component so we can have players mathematically optimize blowjob rotation strategies

# ¿ Mar 10, 2016 21:53

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Ravane posted:

It's actually me, I'm glad that he and Spacetoaster pointed out the flaws in my twitter account as I set it up originally to shitpost on twitter and I had written that Leonard was in his 40's. I quickly deleted those tweets, and did some basic research on the vietnam war in case anyone wanted to challenge me again, haha. My original plan was to slowly shitpost on Sandi's wall until I become well known enough to her (I haven't completely thought this plan through yet though). But I wasn't expecting to be called out so quickly and by loving uncle derek. Thought it would be a shitizen, haha.

wait, we're not actually a perfectly coordinated hivemind dedicated to Star Citizen's destruction?

# ¿ Mar 14, 2016 21:03

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

Also Stranger in a Strange Land

Also make sure to read I Will Fear No Evil for the complete Heinlin weird sex-stuff experience

(it's not nearly as good a book since he got sick and died before polishing it, but it is hilarious)

# ¿ Mar 23, 2016 19:36

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

not quite in the same league as some of these suggestions (but definitely a huge step up from others), I quite enjoyed Ken MacLeod's Fall Revolution series as fun reading- basically explorations of future post-(apocalyptic) singularity societies oriented around different political philosophies from techno-utopian socialism to bitcoiner fever dream anarcho-capitalism

e: which is probably underselling the fun a bit- IIRC the socialist human society that runs the solar system functions on locked down nano-tech Babbage engines because the insane post-singularity AIs floating around Saturn keep spamming the solar system with viruses that ruin any conventional computer networks, while the anarcho-capitalist society at the other end of the wormhole the same AIs punched in space treats murder as only a moderate offense to be punished with a fine since anyone you kill can just be cloned and their brains restored from digital back-ups.

LGD fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Mar 23, 2016

# ¿ Mar 23, 2016 20:00

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Prop Wash posted:

That's a smaller version of this, which both creators tweeted:

and, uhhhhh

http://www.expressionschallenge.com/planets/

Nice!

even without the Star Citizen angle, finding the trad games equivalent of Limbo of the Lost is pretty hilarious

# ¿ Mar 26, 2016 21:43

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Sunswipe posted:

So do we want the kickstarter to fail or not? Obviously I don't want thieves to prosper, but the hilarity gets dragged out if they succeed and then get sued by artists.

Fail because it's definitely the best outcome for Ladyman at this point. It sucks to watch your dream die in real time, but if it fails now he can relaunch in a few months with new art and possibly benefit from the notoriety. If he succeeds he's likely going to have Hasbro/Disney lawyers up in them guts, which is almost certainly worse than just failing entirely and giving up.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2016 22:16

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

ZenMaster posted:

Now someone find this one:

from the expression I kind of want to guess it's a Greg Land special where the original source won't have clothes on, but Land is a legit artist who is lazy- given Archer's lack of demonstrated ability when he doesn't have a source to trace I'm sure the source of the body will pop up soon enough

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 20:16

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Young Freud posted:

"Dragoon"? You're talking about the Cyberpunk 2020 concept, right?

Given the way SC's starships have seemed vulnerable to infantry weapons I think actual space dragoons are a possibility

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 16:21

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Goobs posted:

i like your av. i stared at it for many moments.

It's pretty sweet. All credit to BARON'S CYBER SKULL for making it.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 16:23

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Pop and Loch Nessy posted:

There is a chance that Derek might not read your post!!!!!!!!!!

but then how will senpai ever notice me?!

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 19:07

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Goobs posted:

woah guys, breaking news, they had a scope for the shop that they wanted to do, but then they realized that there were so many other things they could put in, so its been expanded! This sounds familiar.......hmmm..... also there's legit a place called dumper's depot...wow

The entire project is Dumper's Depot, etc.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 19:27

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

D1E posted:

Android cleavage sells really well on Steam.

the heart wants what the heart wants

# ¿ Mar 31, 2016 23:25

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

oh cool we get to enthusiastically torture someone

quote:

[E1C08S07A_Attack]
[Player]: "Tell me, why did you attack Shubin?"
[Aldo Braga]: "That make you feel tough?"
[Aldo Braga]: "No way a little poo poo like you's going to break me."
[Player]: "I don't think you understands how this works. Now talk."
[Aldo Braga]: "gently caress you."
[Aldo Braga]: "You think I'm scared of you?"
[Player]: "*Attack #1*"
[Player]: "*Attack #2*"
[Player]: "Why did the OMC attack Shubin?"
[Player]: "*Attack #3*"
[Player]: "This is your last chance to talk."
[Aldo Braga]: "I'm gonna rip out your throat. I'm gonna watch you bleed."
[Player]: "Wrong answer."
[Conrad Vex]: "Lieutenant, maybe he's had enough."
[Aldo Braga]: "Stay out of it, Vex."
[Player]: "*Attack #4*"
[Player]: "I think I almost prefer it when you don't answer."
[Aldo Braga]: "gently caress... you..."
[Player]: "*Attack #5*"
[Conrad Vex]: "Geez, is he..."
[Aldo Braga]: "He'll be fine."
[Aldo Braga]: "*Prisoner 1 gets knocked out*"
[Aldo Braga]: "The dumb son of a bitch deserved it."
[Conrad Vex]: "We have to call the doc."
[Aldo Braga]: "No we don't. Nothing happened."
[Conrad Vex]: "Aldo, we can't just -"
[Aldo Braga]: "Leave it, Vex."

so grim and gritty

e:

quote:

[Gunner 02]: "poo poo, poo poo, poo poo."

yep

LGD fucked around with this message at 04:21 on Apr 1, 2016

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 04:18

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Kramjacks posted:

So in a twist Aldo Braga was torturing... himself?

I was confused by that was well, possibly the sound of the nameless goon you're beating on is originating from Braga- that would at least sort of make sense

I mean not *actually* make sense but it's the only way that dialogue works

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 04:23

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Mr.Tophat posted:

Mods, please, while Derek is away on self-imposed exile, change the loving thread title to something better.

do we have any good recent quotes? I vote "Ryan Archer's Art Appropriation Station"

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 04:33

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Ash1138 posted:

source quotes plz

some people don't live in God's chosen timezone (PST) and thus it is already April 1st

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 04:38

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Wrecked Angle posted:

Does anyone know if this RtV got transcribed? Because I'm starting to think my brain just can't understand mushmouth's dialect or something.

I've just tried listening to the same bit about patching/build revisions 3 times and I still can't make sense of it. Maybe someone else can confirm but is he really implying that up until this point they haven't had version control on code or assets? And why does he seem to confuse introducing a patcher for the client with compiling/building the program?

Like, I'll genuinely admit that IANAGD but to me all this sounds either really confused or batshit crazy.

yes but you need to remember that this is a man who very likely has no idea of what his company has been doing on the technical side and appears to be on cocaine (or some other stimulant)

so its obviously really hosed, but I don't know that you can rely on Chris' words to give you an accurate picture of exactly how and why it is hosed

# ¿ Apr 1, 2016 19:38

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Chalks posted:

The encrypted data will be a base 64-encoded hello.jpg

no, I figured it out and can confirm it's no joke

Derek I'm concerned with the risks you're taking here

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 09:47

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# ¿ May 21, 2022 00:12

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

1500 posted:

CIG: Hey we are going to make this amazing "Apple", how would you like to buy one.
Costumer: Cool I would love to have an "Apple", people have stopped making "Apples"
CIG: Thanks for giving us money to make an "Apple", we have gotten so much money that we are no longer going to make an "Apple" we are now making an "Orange"
Costumer: But I wanted an "Apple"
CIG: You guys gave us more then we needed to make the "Apple" so clearly you really wanted an "Orange"
Costumer: I still would like the "Apple"
CIG: This amazing "Orange" only possible thanks to all the money we were given.
Costumer: Ok so can I have my money back, as you are no longer making the "Apple"
CIG: sorry no refunds. We spent your money making the AMAZING "Orange" See how amazing orange like color it has.
Costumer: ...
CIG: Knew news on the "Orange", we have determined that its not yet as orange in color as we would like so we are going to rework that.
New Costumer: What about the inside how is that coming along? What about the taste?
CIG: Those are important questions. So ah.. You know... kind of like...ah..well you know...Haloe's... ah...Tropicana...Florida
CIG: You can't see it but we are totally re-working the back-end. It will be amazing and will speed up growing time. Don't you worry.
New Costumer: Did you already tell us that a year ago?
New Costumer: Look at that other company, their "Apple" has all kinds of shine, and amazing texture.
CIG: Our "Orange" has amazing shine (WIP), and amazing texture (WIP)
CIG: The "Orange" will be amazing, its really coming along, well we think its an "Orange". It might be a "Tangerine" or a "Grapefruit", but we can tell you its "Orange" like in color.

I get it, but I don't know why you needed to specify identical hobbies/jobs for both customers

seems like a weird detail

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 16:40

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