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doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

alphabettitouretti posted:

Here we see redditor /u/ICStarzICstarz failing to comprehend a simple and commonplace saying. He gets a bit fucky about it.



:gary:

ICStarzICstarz posted:

I am not freaking, just not really interested in seeing that SA/Goon crap. and if this is what you have to do to get a laugh, then yes you are miserable and pathetic. You want to laugh go watch an old Eddie Murphy movie or something.

:eyepop:

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doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU


:chanpop::chanpop::chanpop:

not ironic

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
so the layoffs went through?

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/3quxzw/restructuring_layoffs_taking_place_today_in/

some woman named megan is leaving? among others?

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
I really love the "Well, yeah, they got offered a job by a REAL game company, why wouldn't they jump ship mid-project?"

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

drkeiscool posted:

Wait, the SC livestream ran Bob Ross reruns?

I would think they wouldn't want to invite the comparison between themselves and a guy who puts out hundreds of real life JPEGs in half an hour each.

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

Sarsapariller posted:

They are literally doing it right now: http://www.twitch.tv/cigcommunity

Edit: Aw they stopped. How appropriate that the video of a man endlessly painting pictures is replaced by a splash screen that just says "SOON."

That's SOON™.

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
What is going on? Is it always this bad?

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU


yesss my freakish minions, we will find the batman

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-Xa012yvXY

14:35 - The amount of smugness contained in the following 30 seconds is painful.
18:15 - Does someone have this reddit post/tweet? Lesnick Thor :catstare:
23:35 - Host spends 45 seconds describing how call-ins work on a radio show. i want to die. this show is 2 hours long.
25:30 - hey it's that part i was looking for. in response to "is there space karate?"

"Let me go ahead and give this blanket answer for everything that you hear about in 10 for the Chairman and ATV and everything. These are - they're intentions. There's the things we would like to do. There's the things that we sign our people to explore, to figure out - you know, go and see about making this happen. Then there's the challenge. Then there's - going through and figuring out how to make all this happen. Not everything's going to become a reality exactly the way we spoke about it; not everything's going to work with every other system; it's an exploration - that's what development is. So that's probably why I don't know anything about it because we haven't actually done any work on it yet."

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
the first thing he lists as a feature of a nice car: power steering

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
AdzAdama is a living legend


doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

Madcosby posted:

The craziest part about this mixing minigame is that so much of the full version of the game is required in place for it to serve any purpose

everything about their whole design process is like this. rabbit holes everywhere, i can't look up anything about this game without falling into a pit of insanity and bad decisions.



AdzAdama claims the inspiration for this photoshop came to him in a dream, a dream of inter-studio sata ball matches.

"what the gently caress is sata ball?" i asked myself.

WELLL SATA Ball is a :siren:fully functional, competitive team future-sport:siren: that was initially designed and voted on by fans in one of RSI's lore builder updates at the end of 2013.


:catstare:

ok, so then in may of this year, the developers at illfonic say "nope, we're gonna do ender's game actually" and then create an insanely cluttered, over-saturated "Astro Arena". there's no way you could fly around this thing and have any loving clue what's going on, just because of fake space ads. According to the update, these ads are animated and I guess there's also ad drones that fly around? :eyepop:

before/after



cut to three months later, and illfonic is in a pickle - nothing is useable or close to release. SATA ball is delayed indeterminately, to be released sometime after Star Marine. cut to later that month, and illfonic isn't even working for cig anymore, and foundry 42 germany has to start the FPS module over almost entirely from scratch. star marine is coming out... never, so sata ball is definitely coming out... after never.

but the fans, diligent and faithful as ever, retcon the lore to fit in the new style of SATA Ball, a sport that doesn't and will never exist.

this game is a dumb joke

quote:

"So that's probably why I don't know anything about it because we haven't actually done any work on it yet." -star citizen

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

so what are the rules for autist football?

i assume you have a ball or something

nobody knows, and if foundry 42 germany has any sense they haven't spent a single minute working on it

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

AP posted:

A bit back someone dumped a load of linkedin profiles in the thread. In California one of CIG staff is listed as "Executive Assistant to the Co-Founder/Vice Chairman/General Counsel at Cloud Imperium Games" on linkedin, google the persons name you get a imdb page with a movie made this year (doesn't seem to be CIG related) and a twitter account where they are self described as an "INTERNATIONAL PRO MAKEUP ARTIST based in LOS ANGELES, CA".

I dunno anymore, it used to take some effort on my part to make fun of Star Citizen, it's so easy now you just fall over the stuff. Even the craziest fans are registering here and going above and beyond to get noticed.

Hahaha

https://www.linkedin.com/pub/joyce-camille-platon/ab/216/165?trk=pub-pbmap
https://twitter.com/joyceplatonmua

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mhyO26bVVw

what's your favorite game?
uh, star citizen

what's your favorite ship?
oh wow you know there's so many...

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
croberts and sandi, a modern day lewis and clark

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
i never want AdzAdama to stop, not never



doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

Roland Jones posted:

I'm curious too, about this and the whole debacle in general. I know the very general story (overambitious game charges thousands of dollars for pretend ships and produces nothing), but not the details/particular hilarious bits, and the thread(s?) is so massive it'd take forever to read. Is there a good summary available? Also, who's Karl and why does everyone hate him?

it might be hard to find a summary of EVERYTHING. there was a lot of great stuff in the last thread that people don't really talk about anymore, just bc it's been discussed to death. i wouldn't worry too much about it, you have the gist and hilarious stuff pops up constantly.

karl is a weirdo SC cultist who sometimes posts on these very forums! he's the kind of guy who makes multiple accounts and pretends to be multiple people, so that he can back himself up on his lovely crazy opinions. also i think he doxxed/stalked forums poster Bootcha or something.

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

A Neurotic Jew posted:

hmmmm I'm not sure why but I think AdzAdama might be insanely dumb.

i disagree friend, his work in montage is unparalleled


AdzAdama posted:

This is inspired by the mods that do the hard work to keep the forums clean and troll free.


AdzAdama posted:

I remember in reverse the verse, Chelsea saying she liked the Australian parrots, known as cockatoo's ; I put all the types I see here, the Red Tailed, Yellow Tailed and over abundant White varieties. I really hope she likes the montage.


AdzAdama posted:

This is how I feel being a Star Citizen, Its like being taken to the Promised Land of AC1.0 by the CIG Alien Devs. Thank You for making dreams come true CIG.

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
paaaaarp

The typeface for the corporate identity was carefully selected to represent simplicity in todays society which relies so heavily on technology.

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
i'm sorry citizen, but the margins on the flight manual you posted were far in excess of regulations

it is with a heavy heart that i must terminate your employment with nomadic endeavours, llc

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

Ghostlight posted:

Be who go where you want.



e: Galatic Grey



"both you guys need to get on my level or i swear to god this corp's never getting off the ground"

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
Lastly, I will cite the Milgram Experiment as a classic (even pre-internet) example

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
star citizen corps are awesome. you want to be part of a rad corp, right? how about

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TniZk_v0010
The Red Dragon Crime Syndicate - it's like Cowboy Bebop, except it's a guild you can join! BE the bebop!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfedqqZEDic
The Shadow Legion - do you like darkness? how about INNER darkness?

quote:

The Shadow Legion is a dark brotherhood that resides in the overwhelming darkness of space. We're always there, always watching, always ready to strike without a moments notice. ... Our ultimate goal is to have shared space with the Vanduul, our inner darkness being a common trait that they find intriguing and dangerous.
the compassion the shadow legion shows here is really what won me over

quote:

The Shadow Legion offers it's condolences and prayers to those affected by the horrific situation to befall those living in and visiting Paris.


the shadow legion too blasphemous for your taste? come this way friend, i have the corp for you


Christian Soldiers 7th Division -

quote:

This is a clan of friendship and fellowship. A clan of building players up and supporting them through prayer. I believe in having good clean fun with friends and also sharing the word of God (King James bible or equivalent) in that we can all learn and grow in the LORD.
forgot your king james bible? you may be better off with
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQL3WKOkPmw
Saints 3G - FAMILY FRIENDLY... 100% CHRISTIAN MEMBERSHIP... PVP SUPPORT... PVE SUPPORT... PRIVATE TEAMSPEAK SERVER... CHRIST CENTERED... BIBLE BASED CONSTITUTION... FELLOWSHIP... BIBLE STUDIES

what was that? you're a girl? oh, you want

GIRL GAMERZZZ

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

"We are both addictions counselors in real life"

:eyepop:

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

McGiggins posted:

Wait, so If I join the bible-based constitution one, can I go around and go all testament (Old and New) on everyone? Like, actually follow what the bible says?

Cause I'm sure the space police will have questions.

I have no idea.

quote:

Section B: Treatment of Non-Members
With respect to roleplay and enemy factions, all members are still expected to treat other players in the game, whether good or evil, as is becoming a Christian.

also i hosed up and this guild is actually KJV only too, what is it with aggressively proselytizing christians and KJV?

quote:

Section B: Ministries
Members may start up regular community ministries such as Bible studies, prayer meetings, or support groups that they wish to lead. Members must, prior to announcing the new ministry, get approval from the Council by sending a PM to a Councilor outlining the details of the new ministry who will then in turn bring it before the Council for approval and then let the member know once approved or denied. All sanctioned guild ministries involving the Bible are required to use the Official Guild Bible Version.

quote:

Section K: Avatar Attire
All members should have their digital game avatars dressed in a manner that has a positive representation of both our faith and the guild. Slave outfits and other revealing attire are to be avoided by all members when possible by game design for both their avatars and NPC companions.

ErIog posted:

This isn't really that :psyduck: when you consider that addictions counselors are very often former addicts. Yeah, there are addictions counselors that weren't addicts themselves, but usually if someone is an addictions counselor it means they were an addict at one time.

That's not really meant as a knock against them since being a former addict gives them quite a bit of empathy and understanding of what their patients are actually thinking. However, his post here is filled with rationalizations for his behavior, and this kind of compulsive spending is probably something he needs to discuss with his sponsor. It seems like he's still trying to cling to the hope that maybe he's not down a deep dark hole right now, and so therefore it's cool guys he's got it under control.

a fair point, i've only ever met one addictions counselor, and they were indeed a former addict.

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

Mirificus posted:

I actually started feeling uncomfortable continuing to read through that thread :smith:. A lot of those people need real support, not Star Citizen.

the worst part about the SC community is how they reinforce and justify each other's mental illnesses. sooo many posts from clearly unhealthy individuals either get ignored or treated like a joke, bc even acknowledging the sheer volume of insane people would be too close to admitting that RSIs business model is built around drawing those crazies in.

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
what's a fun dogfighting game, space or non-space

ive literally only ever played freespace 2

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

Jobbo_Fett posted:

If you want WW2 combat and don't care about graphics, go with Il-2 Sturmovik 1946

If you want WW2 combat and DO care about graphics but have to unlock stuff as you go, get War Thunder


Wild Card: Star Wars Rogue Squadron

awesome, thanks. will definitely try il-2 sturmovik; how much war thunder do i have to play to unlock things for free? i'm not really down with the MMO fake currency thing.

peter gabriel posted:

To add to this if not flying isn't a deal breaker gently caress it and get Burnout Paradise

yessss

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
the tattoo is temporary, it was for an audition she did. probably gangland or something. the SC community is aware of this and is A-OK with it

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

peter gabriel posted:

They are my fav bit though in some ways, good fun

i'm playing burnout paradise and it's everything i never knew i wanted in a racing game :aaaaa:

thank you. and thank YOU STAR CITIZEN

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

Octopode posted:

You just keep posting the same thing over and over again without actually saying what features were promised that aren't in 2.0. It's real easy; you should have it in one of those Evernote notebooks.

Just post a simple bullet point list of features CIG promised would be in 2.0 that are not currently in 2.0. Don't quote old posts; don't link; just a nice, simple bullet list.

you just keep posting the same thing over and over again in this thread, for literally months now

that is to say, unreadable pedantic bullshit

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
hot off the presses yo


doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

OWLS! posted:

Haha, this is LA, no.

Still probably cheaper than the beachside Santa Monica property they were at before (which is still what the map shows on their website).

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

:eyepop: Holy poo poo, can you guys even imagine if CR streamed himself playing the game ever again, let alone weekly?

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

"Any other game developer would have thrown several hundred thousand dollars (or more of OUR money) into a carefully scripted and orchestrated 'perfect presentation'"

Estimated costs of competent play demo:

Getting a dude to make sure your joystick is plugged in 10 minutes before a presentation: $100,000
Get that same guy to also turn on V-sync: $150,000
Create a back-up plan if the game/computer crashes: $200,000
Have a guy coach Chris Roberts through an hour of his own game so he doesn't look like a loving moron: $300,000

it's probably just dumb hyperbole, but i really like to think that dangerous levels of CIG exposure have totally compromised Citizens' ability to evaluate costs or value. poo poo wait

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
BAD BEN, THAT WAS A BAD THING YOU DID BEN AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY NOW

is what i think happened

doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU

Tippis posted:

I was thinking more along the lines of…


holy poo poo

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doctor iono
May 19, 2005

I LARVA YOU
Praise be the PTU


CIG Legends continue to show us, their Talents are so unique and special.


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