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this remains one of my top 5 favourite copypastas ever (did it actually originate on SA?)
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Jan 27, 2022 15:22
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nurmie posted:this remains one of my top 5 favourite copypastas ever Does anyone have the Trump Orb one onhand, incidentally? Reading the Obama one reminded me of it existing.
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Jan 27, 2022 15:33
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Riyadh- Controversy erupted amid the White House Press Corps today as White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer denied reports that President Donald Trump touched the dreadful Orb to gain its power. “This is ridiculous. Donald Trump pledged to the American people that he would resist the beguiling siren song of the Orb, and he has done so. This is yet another distraction by the failed Democratic party trying to block President Trump’s Make America Great Again agenda.” Hours later, President Trump tweeted “Yes- I touched the Orb. Obama wouldn’t listen to the song of the Orb. Big mistake! Insulted allies and the Orb!” When asked for comment, Spicer said “I think the President’s tweet speaks for itself.” Op-ed, NYT: Once Again, President Trump Crosses a Red Line …have we forgotten the lessons of the past so easily? Yes, the Orb’s melody is alluring and seductive, but the power it grants corrupts body and mind. Who can forget Dwight Eisenhower’s famous farewell speech, in which he warned of “the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the Orb?” We cannot know the Orb’s true intentions for mankind, but it is all too easy to imagine that they are hostile and alien. We say to Donald Trump: reject the politics of division! Reject hatred! And reject the Orb, for though its lambent glow soothes the mind, the terrible power that crackles across its surface will bring you no peace. Op-ed, WSJ: Liberal Critics Overstate the Dangers of the Orb …yes, we know the Orb may not have our best interests at heart, but we should trust the Orb to act rationally. It is in the best interests of the Orb, now that Donald Trump has been suffused with its vast might, to work for America, not against it. If we cannot trust the President of the United States to safeguard the might of the Orb, then who can we trust? An Orb Working Group, its members drawn from the elite across fields, will be able to strategize the best way to harness the Orb’s awful might and transform our society just as it has transformed Donald Trump’s living flesh into bitter, cold darkness. Tweet, RealDonaldTrump account: Haters and losers say that Orb cannot be trusted. I have absorbed Orb and will carry it within my soul! #MAGA! 8.2k replies 7.4k retweets 45k likes posts from r/the_donald, thread entitled “INCREDIBLE: he touches the Orb! CUCKS BTFO!!!” MAGA_MAN_X fellow pedes i can’t believe he’s done it again! volkisch1487 cucked SJWs at my school cant stop cryin about this, rofl trumpinTN12 This is really Presidential. This is a breath of fresh air after 8 years of 0bungler. Rachel Maddow, 6/27/17 broadcast (partial transcript) …and his skin, it’s turned midnight black. I think I see rainbows moving across it, like an oil slick in sunlight. But just so you know, the White House is denying all of it. They’re denying that he’s taken on the Orb’s power, they’re denying that he’s grown to twelve feet tall, they’re denying that anything happened at all. Lightning struck the White House 452 times last night, according to meteorologists. This is not normal. Tweet, LouiseMensch account Sources have revealed to me that #orb was planted by #Russia, #Putin. Supreme Court preparing Articles of Exorcism as I write. 12 replies 180 retweets 100 likes #Neverorb, Erick Erickson, Redstate.com …the Republican Party used to stand for something greater than the pulsing Orb and its horrible keening drone. I remember that, even if the bootlickers in Congress don’t. The Orb has no regard for human life, not even the life of the unborn. Hey, Paul Ryan — why does your budget allocate $0 to faith-based family centers that offer alternatives to abortion, but $800 billion to a massive basalt monolith in the middle of Washington DC? Sean Hannity show, 7/12/17 HANNITY: These liberals, they fear the Orb. They’re afraid of it. GINGRICH: You know, it’s sad, it really is, because the Orb wants what’s best for America, for all of us, and- HANNITY: Exactly! The Orb loves us! The Orb- [crosstalk] GINGRICH: It’s like I said in 1994, the American People don’t want big government. They want a vast, glowing Orb that swells up to block out the sun. Bernie Sanders, speech, 8/16/17 …and I don’t think it’s right that President Trump now walks around outside for days at a time, plants wilting wherever he plants his massive feet. I don’t think it’s right that our President, a billionaire, gets to be twenty feet tall and exude an oily darkness while the regular, hard-working people of this country slave away for long hours for a minimum wage that’s not enough to feed a family. I don’t think it’s right that every night the pool at the foot of the massive basalt altar in DC — paid for with tax money, yours and mine — must be filled with sacrifices of blood, hair and teeth. Not when millionaires and billionaires pay less tax than at any time in the last century. Barack Obama, GQ interview, 9/2/17 …I don’t want to sound overly critical. But when I was President, I didn’t touch the Orb, for a very good reason. And, you know, I wanted to. I could have easily. I heard it singing to me in my dreams, a song that melted away like morning dew when I awoke. And I could have… (he loses focus for a moment) I could have touched it. But I didn’t. And I think that was the right choice for the American people, and when you look at the boiling cloud of gnats that used to be our President, I think you’ll agree with me. Headline, Washington Post CROP FAILURES ACROSS MIDWEST Life Force Drained to Feed Orb’s “Endless, Terrible Hunger.” Blog Post, fivethirtyeight.com The Disappearance of the Upper Midwest in a Vortex of Madness Could Doom Trump’s Re-Election Chances From “The Orbs of Our Fathers,” an essay by Ta-Nehisi Coates in The Atlantic …I knew from the moment I saw it what the Orb was. I knew what it represented, even when others chose not to see. The Orb is America. The Orb is white supremacy, hatred and disregard, the disregard that communities of color face every day. The Orb is Donald Trump, and Donald Trump is the Orb. His body has evaporated, but we see him now reflected in puddles of oily rain, on our television screens, in our dreams. He is screaming, only screaming. That scream is the hate-cry of white supremacy, the message that never leaves us. Why is the President Screaming: a special report by CBS News JOHN DICKERSON: Experts say that that the power of the Orb may have consumed President Trump and now feeds on his soul. What does this mean for us as a Nation? Was it a mistake to touch the Orb? REINCE PRIEBUS: No, John, not at all. These reports are yet more distractions from the liberal media. The President is deep in contemplation of the Orb’s mysteries. That’s why he isn’t seen outside these days. JOHN DICKERSON: Do you have an explanation for why every reflective surface on Earth shows the President’s screaming visage at precisely 4:22 PM each day? Or why the great black Monolith of the Mall has cracked right down its face? REINCE PRIEBUS: Listen, if you want to sit there and criticize every little thing the President does, you have that right. I can’t stop you. But frankly, it’s counterproductive, and it’s a little sad when the President’s agenda has been such a success. I mean, the crops are growing again, they’re- JOHN DICKERSON: The farmers are saying that the crops are twisted and swollen with unholy power. They’re inedible. They’re useless. REINCE PRIEBUS: We’re growing for export. We knew there would be resistance when we set out to make America great again, there will be hiccups, but… Inaugural Statement from Mike Pence …and in the weeks and months to come, we know there will be questions. Where is President Donald Trump? Why do we still hear him screaming, faintly, at the edge of our hearing? What has become of the baneful Orb that hung low in the sky like a second sun? My fellow Americans, I do not have all the answers for you. This should be a time for healing, a time for people of all faiths to come together and bow their heads in thankfulness that the Orb’s awful designs have been averted. I never expected or wanted this, but I solemnly swear to do my duty as your President, to heal a wounded nation, and to stand strong against the alien menace of the Orb wherever it threatens. I pledge that I will never touch the Orb or any other item of cosmic, unknowable power. Alex Jones show, 11/25/17 …and he’s heading to Beijing next week for a summit. Can you believe that? We all know that they’ve recently unearthed a gleaming cube of alien metal from the ruins below Xi’an. What is the President hiding? Why won’t he tell us whether he plans to touch the Cube?
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Jan 27, 2022 15:35
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nurmie posted:this remains one of my top 5 favourite copypastas ever I’m pretty sure it did. There was an Obama inauguration thread with mostly low-effort jokes about how the GOP would block it, like “Obama swears on the Bible but it’s actually the necronomicon in disguise, America now belongs to the old ones” or “he sets foot on the stage but it’s all greased up and he slides off and now he’s knocking over the delegation and they’re all falling down and rolling over, the calamity!” and that post just suddenly appeared. Sadly I forget both the thread and the poster, but someone with archives might be able to unearth it. E: or, alternatively, someone could link it a minute after I post this, that’s fine too
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Jan 27, 2022 15:37
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nurmie posted:this remains one of my top 5 favourite copypastas ever SuperMechaGodzilla wrote it back in 2009: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3059951&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=8#post355400974
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Jan 27, 2022 15:38
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"You are now immune to rubella" post pls
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Jan 27, 2022 16:11
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King Hussein Obama I, flanked by his bodyguards, stepped out of his blinged Limoscalade and marched up the gold-lined marble steps of Washington Palace. It should have been a glorious day, yet under his heavy yet exquisite crown of carved human fetus-ivory his brow was ridged deeply as he silently brooded. Still, his posse, boomboxes on their shoulders, dance-walked up the steps, chains and gats jangling over the din as they grabbed their crotches. As his trusted associates T-Von and Mook-Mook the Bushman pushed open the grand organic farm-grown cruelty-free redwood doors paid for by his 95% tax rate, he stepped into the antechamber of the gold-domed palace. Outside, ShariaVentalism reigned, but in here his word was law, and all his white teen sex slaves cowered before his glare more than even the hemp whips of their latte-drinking tweeded atheist masters. He walked down the hallway toward his office and a prisoner in chains passed before him, lead by two turban-wearing Mexicans. He spotted the King and began shouting curses. "You loving fascist! I knew it! I knew it! I told them, but they wouldn't listen, that your health care platform was a slippery slope to all this! You won't get away with this! The will of the Free Market will not be denied!" "Seelenceo een the prezence of the Keeng, preesoner!" King Obama spotted a chance to improve his ill mood. "Bring him here. Good. Give me his file." The king looked over the prisoner's dossier. A long list of crimes against the state, and a repeat offender. "You'll never get away with this! Never!" "Hush now, Mr. Jack. We have ways of dealing with unruly sorts such as yourself." "Praise be to Allah, seenyor." "Peh! I spit at your torture! The Free Market gives me strength!" "Oh, no, not anything as gauche as that." The King grabbed a syringe from the outstretched hand of one of his nearby breakdancing bodyguards, and plunged it into the man's helpless neck. "Now you are immune to rubella." Kyle's lingering, echoing screams of tormented horror brought a slight smile like a crack in Obama's stony brown face as he walked into his lavish velvet-lined office and shut the door behind him. He motioned for his bodyguards to leave the room, and he addressed the giant screens hanging over his desk. "Screen one on. Connect to Emperor bin Laden of Eurabia. Screen two: Hugo Chavez of the U.S.S.A.R.. Screen three: The High Elder of Zion." The three figures appeared live via satelite. "Gentlemen," began Obama darkly, "it's time to have... a conversation."
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Jan 27, 2022 16:54
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:
Vengarr posted:Is it bad that my first thought was “buttplug” Wibla posted:Nope, you're in good company boop the snoot posted:I thought the same thing so this is debatable.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:12
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SyNack Sassimov posted:I feel like this guy was attempting (really badly) to tell stories like....um....the guy I can't remember, mq jazz bar maybe?, where all the stories had absolutely moronic puns in them and they were just so stupid it was hilarious. mjq jazz bar posted:Me and one of my friends went out today for some dinner so we stopped at a pretty nice restaurant. I don't smoke and most of the time I sit in the non smoking section but I didn't feel like walking to the back of the restaurant today so me and my friend sat at the first table we came to in the smoking section. Since most ppl should be aware that I don't smoke I didn't think I would have any problems. I was wrong. This jerk lit up a cigarette right next to me. I couldn't belive this fat jerk was disrepecting me like this so I turned around and looked him right in the eye and said " you might want to put that out fag..........That is,if you value your health". The guy said a couple of cuss words and told me to go to the non smoking section. Well that did it. I got up went over to the table and said "excuse me fag but you didn't clean your plate", and then I took his plate and bashed him over the head with it. Then his friend that was with him got up and took a swing at me, I ducked it and then gave him a swift round kick to the ribs. I then hip tossed him on the table and then I turned around and looked one of the waiters right in the eye and said "this orders to go" and then I tossed the table with the guy on it a good 14 feet across the room. As me and my friend were storming out the manager apologized to us but I told him it was too late as I would never eat there again. ~mjq jazz bar mjq jazz bar posted:I came home this afternoon after picking up my copy of gta and I smelled something funny from my neighbors house. I went over there and the door was unlocked so I went right in. Sure enough there was my neighbor and two of his friends smoking to their hearts content. I told them they had two options, one- they could put the joints out or two- I would put the joints out for them. My neighbor had run ins with me before so he knew I meant business so he threw his joint down and told me to leave. I said you made a wise choice but I'm still calling the cops and then I turned to leave. My neighbor then got up off the couch got behind me and said a few cuss words and told me to mind my business. Well that did it. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him straight in the eye and said "lets get high". I then front kicked him a good 8 feet in the air. Then his other friend came at me with the bong, I grabbed his arm, snapped it and then hit him in the stomach with the bong. His other friend ran into the kitchen so I went after him. He was in the corner crying so I said "this is your brain" and then I grabbed a frying pan and said "this is your brain on drugs" and then I hit him in the head as hard as I could with the frying pan. After that I called the cops and they came over and arrested my neighbor and his friends. As I was leaving the sarge shouted out to me thanks. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him straight in the eye and said " well you know sarge, perhaps if we build a freaking dunkin doughnuts on this street it would give you guys a excuse to ride up here once or twice a week and keep the crime down. I then threw my shades on the ground to let him know I meant business. I feel pretty good about what I did for my neighborhood today. ~mjq jazz bar mjq jazz bar posted:So, I bought a couple of dvds off some web site a few weeks ago and I was pretty upset they haven't come in the mail already. So today I stuck around the house until the mailman came, he brought me a package but it wasn't the dvds I was waiting for. I asked him what the problem was and he told me that he had no control over when the company sends me the dvds. He said I should try to contact them. That did it. I couldn't belive this guy, I pay my taxes and this guy thinks he has the right to sass me in front of my euro mansion, in my freaking driveway? I lifted up my shades, took the cigar out of my mouth, looked him straight in the eye and said " I'm afraid this package is marked return to sender", and then I threw the package in the air and sidekicked the package right into the guys face causing teeth to go everywhere. I then saw one of my ederly neighbors walking toward me so I assumed he wanted trouble as well so I gave him a swift round kick to the ribs, I then looked at him and said "time to take out the garbage" and hip tossed him into the garbage can. I then picked up the crying mailman and threw him into the garbage can, after I had my "garbage collected", I picked up the garbage can and said "let the good times roll" and threw the garbage can down the hill. I didn't see those two guys again but I don't really care, I took the mailbag and threw it in my fireplace since it was a little chilly here today. mjq jazz bar posted:So, I was at work yesterday, and I happened to walk by this guy's desk. I noticed on his computer screen that he had his personal E-mails pulled up. I asked him who he thought he was to do this on company time, and then, he told me that his daughter was sick at home, so he was checking up on her. I then punched his cimputer screen out, and Look him straight in the eye and said, " Who do you think I am? Jerry Lewis? I dont want to hear your sob story, so get back to work before I get you fired." He then said a few cusswords, and then, then He tried to punch me, I blocked it, then , I gave him a swift, round kick to the groin. I asked him if he wanted some more, and he came at me, again, so, I slapped him, then I hip tossed him into the nearest filing cabinent. I looked Over my should at anther worker who was standing near by, and I said...." File him under G..... for garbage." Needless to say, I was quite pleased, because now, that means there one less person in the company for people to look at. All eyes should be on me. I'm a stud. ~ mjq jazz bar mjq jazz bar posted:Well, I walk in to buy some tissues, and at the counter, I hear the manager talking about some skateboard punks in the back by the garbage bins. The guy said he was about to have to call the cops. I told him there's no need to, I'll take care of it myself. So, I walked to the back of the store, and lo and behold, a couple of good for nothings were tearing the place up. A couple of them asked me what I was doing here, so I took of my shades, looked them straight in eye, and said, " Well boys, I'm here to take out the trash, then I grabed one of their skateboards, and broke it over my knee. Then, one of them threw a punch at me. I caught it, and looked thr punk straight in the eye, and said " I'm afraid theres no need for you to be recycled, then I threw him straight over my head into one of the garbage dumpsters. Then, the rest of the kids ran away in fear. I was glad I could help my community, and look good doing it. ~mjq jazz bar mjq jazz bar posted:Around the corner from my weight training job they have a cafe where they make pretty good cheeseburgers. Usually I get mine with mushrooms and onions. Well today I went in there and there was this stoner bitch in there with enormous dreadlocks and a nose ring which is a violation of the safety code. I said 'Where is the regular chef' and she said 'I don't know' very rudely to me and that's when I noticed she had not sauteed up any onions for my burger. I said "you need to learn some customer service" and then she said some cuss words to me and told me maybe I should go to Burger King. But I like to support local businesses so I looked her straight in the eye and said "the customer is always right" and grabbed her by the dreads and slammed her face onto the skillet. She screamed and then the manager came running at me with a chopping knife so I looked him straight in the eye and said "chop this" and karate chopped his wrist and broke it immediately. I picked the girl up off of the floor and said "you are what you eat" and poured the boiling grease off of the fryer into her mouth. I was glad that I could set an example of what a good citizen should do in this situation, and everyone in the cafe applauded me. ~mjq jazz bar mjq jazz bar posted:Me and my friend went to fill up my corvette last night and there were these two punks there sitting on the sidewalk of the gas station with their radio blasting. I was trying to think as I pumped gas but their radio made that hard to do. I was not pleased. So I went in and payed for the gas and then I went up to the two punks outside. I said excuse me but I think you need to turn your radio down. They told me to chill, they were just hanging out and having a few smokes. I then looked them in the eye and said " I'm afraid this is the no smoking section boys" and then I kicked their radio up against the side of the gas station. Then one of them stood up and took a swing at me, I ducked it and then gave him a round kick to the stomach. Then the other one took what was left of the radio and threw it at me, I blocked it with my left hand which caused it to go sailing back and knock him out. Then a middle aged man which looked to be in his 50's came up and asked what was going on. I wasn't sure if he was with me or against me so I assumed he was against me, I then gave him a swift front kick to the groin and hip tossed him on top of the other guys there. I then walked back to my car where my friend just stood there in awe, I asked him why he didn't help me and he said it looked like I had things under control. I slapped him and pushed him to the ground and told him to walk home. I then got in my corvette turned up the radio to full blast and much to my suprise welcome to the jungle was playing. I then sped off with that song playing full blast. I felt pretty good about standing up for my rights and I looked good doing it. ~mjq jazz bar mjq jazz bar posted:It was a nice day today so I went for a walk out side. As I was walking, I heard somebody crying out in pain so I went to investigate, when I turned the corner I saw a kid that had fallen off his bike and he was grabbing his leg and crying. There was this guy already there and he told me that he was a doctor and he thought this kid had a broken leg. I could tell this guy was lying because he didn't have any white coat, I don't like liars so I pushed him out of the way. My training in medical school showed me that I had to get the kid's leg straight again, so I started pounding his knee to get the bone straight again. Thats when the guy that claimed to be a "doctor" called me a moron and pushed me out of the way. Well that did it. I got up, took my shades off, looked him straight in the eye and said " open wide doc" and then I gave him a swift kick to the mouth. I then grabbed him and said "time to make a house call " and then I threw him through a window of a near by house. The kid stopped crying then, I guess my pounding earlier worked. I told the kid not to thank me but I did need 20 dollars for my time. He only had 14 so I took his bike as well. I feel pretty good about fixing the kid's leg. ~mjw jazz bar mjq jazz bar posted:So I was sitting in the back corner of eat ‘n park a restaurant in the northeastern region and I hear this group of punk kids terrorizing their waitress, and I stumble over there and ask the beautiful lady what the problem seems to be. The kids being the adept punks they are give her a glare that tells her not to talk or else therell be problems but I know better than this and I tell them that if they don’t apologize to this beautiful belle theyre going to have to answer to me. I pull my shades out of my back pocket, slip a comb through my wet hair, and tell them they have 10 seconds to apologize. The leader of the gang a chubby kid tells me to get loss and then throws the peg game on his table at my face. “I pegged you as the wise sort, and I don’t play games!” says I, and I grab a tonfa from the cop sitting at the table next to them and tell them today’s special, punks served sunny side up, with a side of hollandaise. I crack the tonfa over two punk heads, do a roundkick, and then hiptoss the runt of the crew into the pie fridge. “Creamed or Key Limed? ” I ask the cop as he slips me a fiver and gives me a back high five. He tells me Ive done a good job as a citizen, and I kiss the beautiful waitress on the cheek, run my comb through my hair once more and leave the restaurant on my harley. ~mjq jazz bar mjq jazz bar posted:I was in town with one of my girlfriends today, and I decided to play one of those scratch off games again, I was very suprised when I won 1 million dollars on the spot, this was like the second time I won the lottery. I was about to claim my prize but then I thought to myself I'm already rich why not have some fun with this one? I told my girlfriend I was tired of her already so I left her at the gas station and went to find me some poor suckers. What better place than wal mart? I went up and down the asles until I found a bad dressed man and wife along with their kid. I went up to the guy and showed the guy the ticket, and told him since I didnt need the money I was going to give it to him and his family, when he started to tear up I tore up the ticket and threw the pieces on the ground. I then started to walk away but this spinless punk then took a swing at me when my back was turned. That did it. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him straight in the eye and said "feeling lucky". I then gave him a swift kick in the ribs and threw him into the pet section, I then caught a wal mart guy coming at me so I took a knife out of my jacket and threw it toward a chain holding up a sign, I then looked at the guy and said "watch out for falling prices" and then the sign fell on him and knocked him out. I left the store but not before I complained to the manager about the kind of people they let in there. ~mjq jazz bar
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Jan 27, 2022 19:54
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doctorfrog posted:jesus christ: what a knife
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Jan 28, 2022 00:03
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lol
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Jan 28, 2022 00:11
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:King Hussein Obama I, flanked by his bodyguards, stepped out of his blinged Limoscalade and marched up the gold-lined marble steps of Washington Palace. It should have been a glorious day, yet under his heavy yet exquisite crown of carved human fetus-ivory his brow was ridged deeply as he silently brooded. Still, his posse, boomboxes on their shoulders, dance-walked up the steps, chains and gats jangling over the din as they grabbed their crotches. Oh god I don't remember reading this one before and Mook-Mook The Bushman killed me. There have been several others over the years that are similar. There was a series about Mittbot during the 2012 runup to the election. Another all time classic was the one about Strom Thurmond dying and his phylactery. There was one other political eulogy one along the same vein but I can't remember who it was about.
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Jan 28, 2022 07:14
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Not sure if you're looking for an SA post, but HST's eulogy for Nixon should always be included with this kind of stuff.
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Jan 28, 2022 11:27
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Any of yall degenerates remember a thread, from I think the run up to Obamas first term, comparing it and him to rita repulsa, the power rangers and the megazords? It was closed after like 5 posts because it topped out there.
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Jan 28, 2022 13:22
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D-Pad posted:There was one other political eulogy one along the same vein but I can't remember who it was about. I think that one was about Jesse Helms and potential grisly discoveries in his back garden.
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Jan 28, 2022 21:37
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Pope Hilarius II posted:I think that one was about Jesse Helms and potential grisly discoveries in his back garden. autopsy-turvy posted:This week the shriveled husk of million term United States Senator and malevolent lich Jesse Helms was sealed in a bleak crypt deep beneath the sands of his native Stygia, North Carolina. Flowers placed on his grave by grieving shitheads withered and died within seconds.
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Jan 28, 2022 22:11
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OmniCorp posted:
Cat Face Joe posted:imagine gatekeeping pittsburgh
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Jan 28, 2022 23:03
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Jan 28, 2022 23:50
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kntfkr posted:he sucks now tho. can't remember the last time he made any points Empty Sandwich posted:he's fundamentally responsible for downing seven just two years ago re: Kobe Bryant
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Jan 29, 2022 00:49
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Fritz the Horse posted:You have to remove the character limit client-side. To do this, edit the thread, (in Chrome) right-click Inspect on the thread title field to open the DOM Inspector. Change maxlength=85 to maxlength=100 It's a different type of funny than usual, but I laughed.
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Jan 29, 2022 09:00
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Biplane posted:Any of yall degenerates remember a thread, from I think the run up to Obamas first term, comparing it and him to rita repulsa, the power rangers and the megazords? It was closed after like 5 posts because it topped out there. RaySmuckles posted:Right now the Republican Party is like the Zords forming the Megazord. Sure they're hella vulnerable, and everyone is shouting at the tv "GO KILL THEM NOW! LOOK THEY'RE INCAPABLE OF FIGHTING BACK!" but for some reason those badass giant monsters they're fighting (democrats!!! *shakes fist in fury*) are too incompetent to strike during their golden opportunity. And as time goes on something in international or domestic news is going to happen and the republicans are going to get their proverbial Power Sword and take back the Angel Grove (the government) and everyone is going to forget that the Megazord destroyed half of the city in the process (seriously, is Angel Grove full of abandoned sky scrappers? Because if not their must of been some serious collateral damage). Rita (obama) is gonna be pissed. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3240298
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Jan 29, 2022 10:18
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Lmao yes. Thank you
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Jan 29, 2022 12:07
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 WON BIG AGAIN DURING FALL SWEEPS WEEK! HOLY COW IS THIS GUY LUCKY OR WHAT?!! Disruptor posted:I'm out. This place is beyond anything remotely approaching rational or constructive.
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Jan 29, 2022 17:19
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uber_stoat posted:be safe Heath posted:In my operating room experience I think this specific bottle of suntan lotion is the most common non-dildo thing we've pulled out of people
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Jan 29, 2022 19:29
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I feel like being on this site has fully prepared me for the possibility that I wind up on Jeopardy someday and get a category like PROBING QUESTIONS or something
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Jan 29, 2022 19:51
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Written like someone who has never once in their life had their rear end in a top hat sunburnt to poo poo smdh Maybe if you try and go outside and catch some fresh air once in a while you'd know these things happen lol
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Jan 29, 2022 23:52
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so which influencer who did the taint sunning thing a year or two ago are you, karate?
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Jan 30, 2022 00:00
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Karate Bastard posted:Written like someone who has never once in their life had their rear end in a top hat sunburnt to poo poo smdh You know what, I am legit surprised that no one has used that as an excuse. It's always, "Uh, oh, I uh, sat on it and it got stuck"
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Jan 30, 2022 00:05
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Did I sit on it? No if course not I'm not a loving moron I jammed it up my rear end and now it's jammed in my rear end.
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Jan 30, 2022 00:18
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Outrail posted:Did I sit on it? No if course not I'm not a loving moron I jammed it up my rear end and now it's jammed in my rear end. I wish people would be this candid about it. We all know you were masturbating, you're the third person this week, just own it
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Jan 30, 2022 00:19
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Heath posted:I wish people would be this candid about it. We all know you were masturbating, you're the third person this week, just own it It would be so poo poo to be the one person ever to actually fall and land on it and everyone is just like "yeah, suuuure you did"
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Jan 30, 2022 00:28
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Heath posted:I wish people would be this candid about it. We all know you were masturbating, you're the third person this week, just own it Have you ever actually had someone be very unashamed and candid about the unflared vibrator/Optimus Prime with real karate chop action lodged in their rear end) colon? I asked a nurse I was dating (yes I have known the touch if a woman, ama) what she would say if I rolled up to ER with something stuck in my rear end and she said she wouldn't want to see me anymore. Luckily we didn't work out so there's a non zero chance I can bump into her at work and have an awkward conversation.
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Jan 30, 2022 01:34
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You got shafted so I guess it all worked out in the end.
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Jan 30, 2022 02:00
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Ur Getting Fatter posted:You got shafted so I guess it all worked out in the end. Unfortunately nobody got shafted in this scenario (yet).
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Jan 30, 2022 02:02
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Outrail posted:Have you ever actually had someone be very unashamed and candid about the unflared vibrator/Optimus Prime with real karate chop action lodged in their rear end) colon? I have not personally but I heard after the fact about a man described to me as a "rock star" (as in, he was touring in some capacity) who was straight up like "yeah I got wild with my girlfriend haha it happens" I don't usually speak to them directly anyway, I only hear about it after they're out, so who knows Edit: his was supposedly a door knob. I don't know what kind of shape it could have possibly been but supposedly he was bent over and she pushed the door into him. Heath has a new favorite as of 02:08 on Jan 30, 2022 |
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Jan 30, 2022 02:04
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Jan 30, 2022 02:13
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Karate Bastard posted:Written like someone who has never once in their life had their rear end in a top hat sunburnt to poo poo smdh this
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Jan 30, 2022 02:13
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Heath posted:I have not personally but I heard after the fact about a man described to me as a "rock star" (as in, he was touring in some capacity) who was straight up like "yeah I got wild with my girlfriend haha it happens" Don't let the door hit your rear end on the oh my god
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Jan 30, 2022 02:19
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Outrail posted:Don't let the door hit your rear end on the oh my god on the way in?
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Jan 30, 2022 02:55
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 06:26 |
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let the doorknob hit you where the good lord split you
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Jan 30, 2022 02:56
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