PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Kirk Johnson's didgeridoo-like farts

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Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Context: weird indie nerdphone OnePlus5 is infamous for the screens being installed upside down (and the company's insistence that it's not an issue)

Desk Lamp posted:

Apparently dialing 911 causes the OnePlus5 to reboot. I'd think of something else to say about it but that short sentence really says it all.

Ragingsheep posted:

Just dial 116 instead.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2017 19:33

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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 23:24

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Screaming Idiot posted:

I'm not saying we shouldn't feel empathy. I'm saying we should feel every bit as shocked and horrified when tragedy strikes regardless of the location.

There's a difference between being outraged and feeling horrified, though. More people should be outraged at what's going on around the world every day, but they're never going to feel the way they feel about stuff that happens closer to home. And to some extent probably can't. It'd be paralyzing.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2017 14:54

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Dross posted:

I am a white hot ball of activist rage that shines on all parts of the world equally at all times, unlike the slacker sun.

I am also the guy who writes all those articles with headlines that start with "why isn't anyone talking about [thing that plenty of people are talking about]"

Sent from my iPhone

Apart from the word "activist" I thought you were Trump for a minute there

# ¿ Aug 22, 2017 16:27

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

I've inferred that the clapping thing is for emphasis, but it always makes me think of this instead:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxFygFZTqd8

# ¿ Sep 14, 2017 17:14

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

vermin posted:

I'm gonna pretend that having emotions in Vulcan society is like sprouting a surprise boner that everyone can see

Delsaber posted:

Every now and then Vulcan school kids get the TV cart rolled into their classrooms and have to watch videos about nocturnal emotions.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2017 11:19

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

A man and his date are dog rapists.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2017 21:56

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Star formation. When you're a star, they let you do it.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2017 12:47

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

funmanguy posted:

That's one hell of a business card.

Not to mention his Law Blog.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2017 20:42

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Jeza posted:

Minor Report

# ¿ Nov 9, 2017 13:48

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Platystemon posted:

Antivehicular posted:

I'm pretty sure Smug Al Yankovic is just Jonathan Coulton

# ¿ Dec 4, 2017 12:23

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Blurred posted:

Moore will scrape home by a couple of points, but it won't be a narrow victory it will be a minor loving victory.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2017 14:45

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Don't politicize tragedies*

_{*if they're caused by a white guy with a gun}

# ¿ Dec 19, 2017 18:46

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

mind the walrus posted:

No one with a brain has a problem with what SMG actually says or thinks, but it's all about how he goes about it. At best you can claim he's some genius troll/puppetmaster, but the truth is a bit sadder--he's a really intelligent, arrogant autistic dude with a special interest in cinema and exceptionally poor social flexibility. That rigidity makes him really enjoyable to read from afar, but if you take the subjects he discusses even a little seriously--or god forbid try to engage him on a topic--you will have a bad, bad time.

Quite true. SMG's initial posts on a subject are usually very insightful analysis, even though I usually disagree with his assessment of how these insights impact a film's quality. But when people start arguing with him, it very quickly becomes an insufferable wall of text to scroll past.

Content:

CommonShore posted:

I clearly remember being impressed the first time I saw a computer which could function without having to insert and swap floppy discs, and I have vague memories of being impressed the first time I saw a computer which could handle two 5 1/4 floppies at once.

World War Mammories posted:

How is your mother, by the way?

# ¿ Jan 11, 2018 18:46

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

I heard once someone tried to give their horse a really long, unpronounceable name, and then for some reason they could play unauthorized games on their Wii.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2018 19:12

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Screaming Idiot posted:

First of all, I'm just happy to see a school teacher who isn't a kidtoucher. Secondly, if he's a history teacher, he's just boning up on his Benjamin Franklin material.

Oh, I thought that said Benjamin Franklin maternal.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2018 13:46

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Friend posted:

Is Steamed Hams only funny if you've seen the episode or am I missing something else?

Well, like most comedy scenes, it's funnier if you watch it than if you don't... But unlike most Simpsons scenes, there is literally no other context to it, the scene stands alone.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 18:15

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

"It's the same exact joke!"

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 22:06

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Samuringa posted:

Knormal posted:

I have some bad news, and some good news.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/10/13/557652159/jeremy-the-lonely-left-twisting-snail-dies-but-knows-love-before-the-end

jojoinnit posted:

Jeremy spoke in class today

# ¿ Feb 7, 2018 14:58

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Re: Frasier

Bust Rodd posted:

Someday I’ll finish the show, but I’d honestly rather rewatch 1-8 than finish 9-10-11

Laterite posted:

David Angell probably wishes he skipped 9-11 too.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2018 03:38

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

No, I don't like Playboy, I just like bunnies so I put a bunny sticker on my car.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2018 13:39

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Yeah let's all look at this instead.

boner confessor posted:

all the press secs are going to disintegrate in slow motion because they have an impossible job. you simply cannot make trump look good, he is a bastard. you can have all the talking points in the world and then thirty minutes before go time trump comes out and tweets about how he thinks squirrels are motherfuckers or whatever then you have to field a bunch of pro-squirrel questions

# ¿ Feb 20, 2018 21:57

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Neddy Seagoon posted:

The real amazing part is they aired that episode with Crusher orgasming onscreen in a 90's primetime TV slot.

It's not an orgasm, it's just space happiness.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 13:43

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

That being said, you can still eat cold cuts if you throw em on a frying pan for a few minutes first. But of course that half defeats the purpose.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2018 17:22

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

This does include my own quote, but the reply is why I'm posting it here.

Mr. Fix It posted:

Allow me to introduce you to ~~intern~~ newbie busy-work level: JAPAN

Sir Lemming posted:

I thought it was Loss, except you have to assemble it yourself like IKEA.

AtomD posted:

When you get to the last panel there's always that little piece missing.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2018 16:13

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Well I guess if you're the Gatekeeper...

# ¿ Apr 5, 2018 20:36

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

I hate funny shirts so much, I should make a shirt that says, "Hey loser, I don't care about your funny shirt!"

# ¿ May 4, 2018 12:57

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

ToxicSlurpee posted:

the travelling salesman problem

Aaaaaand now I finally understand why I failed that one job interview.

(Apparently none of my CS professors ever showed us an example of that particular problem, or I wasn't paying attention.)

# ¿ Jun 24, 2018 19:20

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I'd ask for a refund on a CS degree where you never encountered the TSP.

To be clear, I graduated in 2007 and was recently switching jobs -- it's extremely possible I simply forgot about it. It's not like that stuff actually comes up in real work so it would be filed away somewhere in the "don't need" section of my brain for a decade.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2018 19:39

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Wait, he can SEE farts?

# ¿ Jul 13, 2018 14:48

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

elise the great posted:

LifeSunDeath posted:

I would gently caress that up like a coyote in a rabbit nest. No questions, no hesitations, just utter obliteration, God getting revenge on the dinosaurs. Imagine me, a spy, furtive in the alley as the dark figures close in, knowing I have one chance left to live, looking down at this monstrosity clenched in my hands and knowing that it contains the one secret message that could lose my homeland the war. I would slam dunk that poo poo into my duodenum so hard I’d have to reel my hand back out by the elbow. gently caress you, I WANT THAT THING

# ¿ Jul 31, 2018 17:44

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Paladinus posted:

More like an old meme that needs to die.

So you'd more-like old-meme-less?

# ¿ Aug 6, 2018 16:35

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

It's just the anime-specific version of when someone goes on vacation and then won't shut up about "the way they do things over there".

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 13:31

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Behind The Laughter followed by the movie is a pretty logical endpoint for the series.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2018 19:01

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

https://twitter.com/tedcruz/status/498211667818586112?lang=en

twice burned ice posted:

I see the cow made of butter, but what's that yellow thing in the background?

# ¿ Sep 22, 2018 02:07

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

ToxicSlurpee posted:

Nah, gotta go with White Hot Sphere of Pure Rage.

We don't get to vote on Supreme Court nominees though.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2018 18:11

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Star Trek was the original creepy obsessed shut-in magnet. (Just in terms of modern pop culture; I'm sure there were ancient Greek plays or something that served a similar function.) These days, everybody is a creepy obsessed shut-in, so it's all kind of a wash.

Edit: Not sure why I went all the way back to "ancient Greek plays" when I could've easily gone with "books" or "priesthood"

Sir Lemming has a new favorite as of 13:54 on Oct 3, 2018

# ¿ Oct 3, 2018 13:30