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Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



RandomFerret posted:

Yeah, engineered beams are a cheap, lightweight alternative to solid wood joists, but they only work if they're intact. There's been talk back and forth about banning the use of them as structural supports, because the second they're compromised, the whole floor is at risk of collapse.
And as the goon in question showcases, people think "I'm just removing a few inches, how bad can it be?" and saw through them without realizing why they look that way and how they've completely compromised their load bearing ability.

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Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



sebmojo posted:

how does that conversation even start i'm drawing a blank tbh
"Honey, I'm sure you've been wondering how I got herpes..."

e:

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



The probation makes it even funnier.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Sagebrush posted:

does anyone have a compilation of all the elsa e/n comics cause they're amazing

Rhymenoserous posted:

the e/n comics were mjaulm
You mean the "Draw E/N threads as comics" thread? https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...hreadid=3499406

A lot of the image links are dead, but fortunately Mjaulm's comics aren't. The first one of theirs is on page 5.

edit: That thread also gave us

Collateral Damage has a new favorite as of 13:52 on Apr 25, 2017

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

No, the ones Elsa is doing in the R/relationships thread. They should get a frontpage tbh
Sounds like I need to read that one.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Putting someone on ignore should automatically put any quote by them in a spoiler block as well.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



I always thought you killed crabs the same way you kill lobsters.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Breetai posted:

Funny Forums Quotes: a spiral staircase lovingly crafted out of severed dicks

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Also mold.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



(talking about walk-in bathtubs)

learnincurve posted:

Disabled and very elderly people who refuse to go into a home get them for free in the UK. Person who buys my Nan's house is getting an awesome walk in bath/shower combo.

Slugworth posted:

That's cool, here the elderly and disabled are given a piece of paper that says 'Go gently caress yourself'.

Tiny Brontosaurus posted:

After a hard-fought battle in the senate, Democrats succeeded in getting it upgraded to large-print type.

Collateral Damage has a new favorite as of 11:03 on May 8, 2017

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Star Trek Online is still running?

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



divabot posted:

Bitcoin is a blunt spork: it does all the jobs, but worse than any sensible alternative. Also it's made of gallium, so it melts if you try to do any real work with it.

Litecoin is a spork made of cardboard.

Ethereum is a coffee machine with seventeen different levers, and whichever ones you pull it only gives you a cup of the cleaning fluid.

Zcash is a Pound Shop corkscrew that breaks on its second use.

Dogecoin is a water bowl on the floor. The bowl is empty. Much sorry, very loss.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Shima Honnou posted:

I thought Flanker was gathering money to go shoot poachers as a war tourist mercenary rhino guard, not make a documentary. Or was that someone else I'm thinking of?

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

Lol did you guys really crowdfund a guy to go shoot impoverished brown people overseas?

That Works posted:

Ahem that is called 'paying taxes' sir.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Aren't all murders technically attempted murder?

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Solice Kirsk posted:

Stabbing is worse. Stabbing and twisting is next level better. A gun that shoots twisting knives though.....that's the ultimate.
What about a gun that fires swords? Swords that explode and break into smaller swords! That also explode!

A swordsplosion if you like.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Powerful Two-Hander posted:

If I ever have a jazz band it's gonna be called "Home Made Sax Tape".

Edit: It'll be a solo album

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Jedit posted:

I'm amazed they don't like it then, I've seen American racists and half of them are white people who need teeth.
Preacher was right

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Snowglobe of Doom posted:

The Deaf Leopards got to meet Def Leppard!

Enola Gay-For-Pay posted:

Meeting a musical group is probably not that exciting for deaf kids.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Add me to the list of people laughing like an idiot at this. I admire his dedication.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Karate Bastard posted:

Who's that other goon that'd eat herself? Hair, mostly, iirc. She and her b o were a double tag team entrant into that goon made brawler Drama Sweep where Dr Frog would repeatedly face his crippling alcoholism to make various posters Get Out. There were comics too iirc.
Barbako.

E/N Comics thread is here, but you might need archives to read it. Like all goon projects the game idea kind of fizzled out.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



the old ceremony posted:

yeah it's this. if you've got live snakes then you're going to have go out and buy something for them to eat. they eat mice
On the upside most snakes only eat once a week or so.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



jaegerx posted:

I've been to Canada. I can confirm there is a lot of eating rear end in Canada.

Proteus Jones posted:

No, that's just poutine. Easy to confuse the two.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Ape Has Killed Ape posted:

Oompa loompa doompety dorn

I really hope this isn't from porn

davidspackage posted:

Oompa Loompa Doompaty-dis
You know in your heart that it probably is

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Bertrand Hustle posted:

Jesus Christ lady you're not dating him, you're harassing him and he's trying to let you down gently because you're loving crazy

Don't date borderlines

Don't date sex weirds
I wouldn't call her crazy (at least not based on that information alone) but yeah, she's definitely not picking up his "let's just be friends" signal.

Collateral Damage has a new favorite as of 10:57 on Oct 18, 2017

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Lunchmeat Larry posted:

lol at the therapist giving her professional advice to ignore his signals and persistently harass him
Yeah that's a lovely therapist.

I've never needed one, but of the people I know who go to a therapist, most of them say they had to go through several before they found a good one.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



VanSandman posted:

You can toxx for a perma but thereís no reason to. Thereís no reason to toxx either, honestly. Trust me.
A toxx is basically just a bet against Lowtax where you can't win.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Burt Sexual posted:

The very first page it all fell apart. That was fun.
Cutting into your floor joists tends to make things fall apart.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Powaqoatse posted:

omg i just rememberd Boulder Dash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QllqKiUXNno#t=18s

(it starts easy but theres like weird spreading fungus enemies etc)
Me and my best friend in grade school spent so much time playing Boulder Dash on the C64. I don't remember which one it was, but it had a level editor and we'd take turns building challenge levels for each other.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



What are the dimensions of a competition standard phone booth anyway? Is there an international governing body of phone booth stuffing?

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



And is there a standard size of person, or could you stuff a phone booth with dwarves or children (not pureed)?

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009




volcultsmer posted:

This doggo starts the "find the ball" quest chain.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

It's just a fetch quest, it's not that great.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Mr. Sunshine posted:

The closest I've come to age-play is having to wrestle my infant son over who gets to fondle my wife's breasts.
You're just jealous because he gets to rub his face on them several times a day.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Cyrano4747 posted:

I did some googling to figure out how a fat bee would compare to a bullet. The heavier end of the typical bumble bee is about half a gram, which comes out to about 7.7 grains for something probably about the size of a typical center fire pistol bullet.

I have therefore determined that lead is heavier than bumble bees.

Collateral Damage has a new favorite as of 08:08 on Jan 31, 2018

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Guillermus posted:

The last two pages of this thread have been weird but I loved a bunch of the posts regarding pandas, goons and centaurs.

Solice Kirsk posted:

What are three things that never get laid.



Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



I need to stop opening a lot of thread tabs, then go to lunch and come back to post in them without refreshing first.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



theflyingexecutive posted:

I fuckin hate circling the joke, itís so much worse when the circle is lovely

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Reminder that we now have a very fitting zaurg emote:

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Maybe who he actually needed to divorce was himself.

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Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



canyoneer posted:

took out money on a credit card to buy a bunch of dumb cryptocurrencies, and is still paying interest on that credit card while watching those dumb unsellable things lose value

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