pentyne posted:

If that's who I think it is its a GiP poster would say "Hey, I'm gonna make up a really batshit insane story and post in GiP and lets wait until GBS/D&D picks it up context free and spends 10 pages screaming about soldiers being baby rapists. Literally the entire thread was "let's make fake rear end in a top hat stories and see who believes them"

There was another one where he talked about how he's got a Kim Kardashian like rear end, and when his navy ship got a bunch of books him and the crew got drunk and used his buttcheeks to clench the books and rip them in half. Way too many people also took that seriously.

The 'Good Old Days' of GBS posted:

You post to an internet forum full of pedophiles, pants-shitters, depressed and paxil-ingesting people suffering from various mental illnesses, social misfits, drug users, and perpetrators of every sexual fetish imaginable, and ask US what to do?

Loki_XLII posted:

dang, this jessica jones lady sure has some real jessi cajones.

sharktamer posted:

Posting actual jokes in GBS already seems high brow.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

*Ernest Cline slides up from out of a toilet like the liquid metal terminator, speaks in an inexplicable The Mask voice* Diiiiiiiiiiiid SOMEBODY say the EIGHTIES? *waggles eyebrows while chainmaille bowtie spins*

RandomFerret posted:

Okay, well, looks like I just started a twitter war with William F. Gibson stuck in the middle. Not was I was expecting to do today.

zen death robot posted:

http://i.imgur.com/rd5jhzV.gifv

A misanthrope posted:

PleasingFungus posted:

that's a g0m/'no they will not' post, from this thread. other highlights

Rondette posted:

Welcome to the 6th Annual Something Awful Everest thread!




Everest is the highest mountain on Earth. 8848 metres of rock.


It was first knowingly ascended by Tenzing Norgay and Edmund Hilary in 1953. Since then more than 4000 people have summitted, and around 250 have died trying. A lot of those people are still up there, and have become landmarks for other hopeful climbers. The most notable one is known affectionately as 'Green boots', and resides in a cave close to the summit.


Dorje Morup aka Green Boots

There is a lot of controversy about the bodies on Everest, and every year people ask why they can't get the bodies down. For a start, even though climbing Everest is much 'easier' these days thanks to modern technology, you are still battling conditions at an altitude of cruising jets, with 30% of the oxygen you are used to. Your body is actively eating itself and you have to climb a single fixed line that is also being used by loads of other climbers of varying skills, under an incredibly strict time window. It is not a place where rescues happen easily, let alone chipping decades old bodies from a rock face. The air is too thin for helicopters - the highest ever rescue took place in 2013 and that was a struggle at 7000 metres.

Everest has been a source of fascination for me since the first thread I read on SA back in 2011, and I have read and digested more than I care to remember.

A good place to start is to read 'Into thin air' by Jon Krakauer which is about one of the most famous years on Everest. 1996 was the year that 15 people died, 8 in one night when they were caught in a terrible storm. It was made into a tv movie and was made into a movie which wasn't quite as good as it could/would/should have been, but did have some amazing shots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZQVpPiOji0


2006 was another bad year, with another large death toll, including one David Sharp who was stranded next to Green Boots and left to die while people passed him by to get to the summit. The 2006 year has a lot of footage available for us to watch, as there were at least 2 tv crews up there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZLCIpovtkU


This is a good tv show but you will hear a LOT about Tim Medvitz's injuries. Also 'Ever-ever-ever-ever-rest rest rest' There are 3 seasons of this, the first two are definitely the best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_CMD4R0ufk
This series follows some guys from the British army attempting to try to climb the quite frankly terrifying West Face, which has only been successfully climbed by 19 people, and it has killed 21 people.


2014 was hotly anticipated by goons after some notable failures in previous years, including this unfortunate Canadian Lady in 2012 who photoshopped herself into some mountain scenes as part of her climbing preparation.


It didn't end well.



Unfortunately for everyone the 2014 season was abruptly cut short when an avalanche killed 16 sherpas, making it the deadliest year in Everest's history. The remaining Sherpas refused to work out of respect for their colleagues, and probably knowing it was next to impossible to do without them, all expeditions were cancelled. This included a crazy bastard who wanted to Base Jump from the summit.

Last year was....well, terrible for everyone. There was a massive earthquake which devasted Nepal, and also set off an avalanche which swept through base camp killing 18 people, and taking out 21 in total. This effectively closed the mountain for the season, and fairly as the sherpas needed to get back to their family and look after their own. There is a lot of terrifying footage of the avalanche on YouTube to peruse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JC_wIWUC2U

So, bring on the climbers!! The avalanches!! The endless arguments about why they can't 'put a slide at the summit'!!

Also feel free to talk about other mountains, such as Everest's slightly smaller but much angrier cousin, K2, known affectionately as 'The Killer Summit' - it will eat you and literally chew you up, depositing your remains at its feet. Also caving, diving and any other sort of extreme sport which we can get freaked out by.

I have a youtube playlist with some more mountain documentaries on here-
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...BnY01-OKSEuG1eT
Previous Threads-
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
I can't wait.

Oh, and mountain pug!


An amazing computer game!

Xibanya posted:

Time for the full pitch


Get the runtimes
If you don't install the XNA runtimes linked on the download page the game won't work and it's not gonna be my fault.

Get Outfitted


You can't take any more than what you and your three teammates can carry between the four of you. With inventory space limited, bringing one item means leaving another. #Everest is a game of opportunity costs. you must balance your selection of the props that will get your selfies to earn the most likes with the equipment needed to survive the trek to the next great photo op.

Be unique...ish! Change up the colors of your gear and play as either a dude or a lady.
(Voice of Michael A. Zekas)
(Voice of forums poster Xibanya)

Make your mark

Time waits for no mountaineer in the unforgiving altitudes of the mountain locals refer to as "The Holy Mother." Take too long trying to get the perfect selfie and you won't be able to make camp before temperatures plunge at nightfall, but make sure you don't lose your cool because if you forget to pack anything back up, it will be lost on the mountain forever.

There's no garbage collection service on Mt. Everest. Carry your trash with you or dump it on the mountain. It's your choice.

Post selfies

The player character will be posting to their fictional in-game social media accounts throughout the game, but you can choose to post the pictures you take in-game to the player character's real twitter account, @HashtagEverest or connect your own twitter account and post to it through the game! How's that for meta?

Ziggy Starfucker's Guide to Chilling on Mt. Everest

Make sure each character has enough food, half rations reduce your health/stamina regen and running out completely will slowly deplete your health
Most status ailments will go away after enough rest. Having a medical kit in someone's inventory will help, resting at landmarks and especially the camps will help too
Having a sleeping bag for each character and a tent for the whole party increases health and stamina regen while resting
Having lots of crazy and heavy junk in your photo will get more likes and comments. Make sure you retrieve your junk before leaving the photo screen
Water bottles aren't necessary but prevent any chance of dysentery. Having a water treatment kit in someone's inventory reduces the chance of dysentery but doesn't prevent it
Wearing goggles greatly reduces the chance of snowblindness and retinal hemorrhaging, but wearing shutter shades for your photos gives more likes
Climbing around bottlenecks will probably get someone killed, but having climbing harnesses and ascenders equipped reduces the chance. Having fixed lines in someone's inventory and an icepick equipped on at least character helps further
Traveling at night reduces movement speed and increases chance of hypothermia. Try resting at landmarks until daybreak
You can get a rough estimate of your travel speed by looking at the walking animation speed of your party
Blizzards inflict damage and increase the chance of hypothermia and snowblindness unless you rest at a landmark with a tent or at a camp
Prevent/heal hypoxia with a breathing mask and oxygen bottles. By default oxygen use is disabled so you don't burn through your bottles at lower altitudes


...I should probably make an actual website for this game.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE
=======================

THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS THREAD

We are morbid fuckers and there will be tasteless jokes, a death pool, pictures of dead bodies and general disrespect for the dead. Climbing this mountain is something that really ceased to be necessary after Norgay and Hilary summitted to anyone other than scientists, doctors and researchers who can test effects of high-altitude and the like. It is dangerous, unpredictable (as the last two years in particular have shown) and there isn't really much honour in getting local people to do all the heavy lifting for you for an embarrassingly small amount of money.

Remember this, and if you find it offensive, well. You're in the wrong forum really.



(will add updates if and when I get suggestions)

DudeGoofyGuy posted:

There's a different filter for every tense of the C-word, as I learned from browsing old GBS recently.

Cuck
cucked
cucking

And my personal favorite,

Cucks

ants on my cum rag posted:

There's a lot of hosed up and weird people, on this comedy forum website, who do not ever post jokes, do not enjoy jokes or indeed even laughing, and have coined a derogatory term for people who make jokes. They're all missionaries drawn here by the allure of the fertile lands of videos of a severely asthmatic man playing Megaman games, and interesting philosophical quandries posted by the fake PTSD guy about the nature of doors and windows in Dungeons and Dragons. They are wise men here to educate a savage, uneducated, indigenous sort. It is a sonorous, musical form of education; a greasy collective amasses on the front line of the battle against social injustice, the video game subforum on a message board that has a drop down menu that makes light of the holocaust on every single page, and sings a shrill harmony that permeates the very aether, making my pets feel unsafe, when a video game muscle man calls Catwoman a bitch. They have picked their battles well, and I note from my foxhole that I am running out of ammunition, chiefly in the form of the increasingly finite number of ways I can frame this absurd situation with the English language. I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the poo poo out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

rodbeard posted:

Wait so SMG is actually funny when he's posting outside of CD?

quote:

Duke 3D homaged/parodied 80s/early 90s action films by making the villains such ridiculous villain caricatures that Duke was an acceptable protagonist by comparison.

Roddy Piper and Snake Plissken are goddamn psychopaths in They Live and Escape from NY, but the point of the films is that society is so broken that these guys can thrive. It’s a deliberate part of the films, presenting extreme cynicism (Snake ignores a rape-in-progress because he’s that desensitized and amoral) with a smattering of dark humor (Snake’s nickname apparently comes from his dick tattoo).

Duke 3D’s pig cops were in a context where the Rodney King beating and the LA riots were still fresh in people’s minds. Not only that, but the villains behind the pigs were basically rapists - the cheesy “mars needs women” premise getting a gruesome subversion with the Aliens-referencing outcome. Duke 3D didn’t joke about the rape. It treated rape as a serious problem equivalent to racism and class warfare, to which Duke was a source of catharsis if not any actual social change. (Duke is was a parodic figure specifically because, despite being a working-class shmoe, he’s so unenlightened that he’s exclusively driven by basic urges to gently caress and kill.)

The women and civilians in Duke 3D were just “normal” people doing their jobs, even if they are strippers or whatever. In other words, they’re us. They’re the folks feeling oppressed by the government corruption and other social ills, who are crying out for a populist hero to save them. That Duke is ultimately an idiot gave the game a measure of honest-to-god complexity.

DNF treats these “normal” characters with relentless and utter contempt.

Any pretense that Duke was a working-class hero have been dropped, as now he’s a apparently a billionaire in a solid-gold penthouse with a loving throne. The aliens no longer represent police corruption or the patriarchy, but rather, “foreign cultures” (see: the WMD joke). And, obviously, they joke about the rape now because the people being raped are no longer audience stand-ins, but rather a bunch of semi-conscious inhuman inferiors.

(What makes the Olsen twins so objectionable that they need to get taken down several pegs anyways? Besides that they’re female, of course. Since when did they represent “wholesomeness” and why is wholesomeness the enemy now?)

The aliens are basically now equivalent to Duke. The line separating him from the baddies is altogether erased. He’s not defending anything good, even accidentally, because instead of reacting against the status quo (however clumsily) Duke is the status quo now. And it’s loving unbearable.

quote:

I think the change in atmosphere from previous Duke games makes sense when you realize that the people who are making Duke Nukem Forever and the people who are buying Duke Nukem forever are the same exact people who bought and played the first games, almost a decade and a half later. DNF is quite literally a mid-life crisis.

It’s been fourteen years since the last time Duke did anything. He can’t run as fast or as far as he used to. He can’t carry as many guns as he used to. He can’t take a bullet as well as he used to. The frat-boy sensibility about women from the previous games has darkened to a sense of fear and no small resentment (the pregnancy motif in the Alien level is important here- regretting having children, Duke?) The game’s willingness to make fun of its protagonist even as it supports him is completely gone, because its desperate clawing after virility cannot tolerate that.

For a game sold as a comedy, it takes the fight to preserve the masculinity and youth of its main character incredibly seriously, not realizing that the fight is already lost. When a vehicle breaks down on Duke Nukem, he responds “Aw, and it got such good gas mileage.” That is not a thing Schwarzenegger or Van Damme or Bruce Campbell would say in the films Duke Nukem is supposed to be parodying. That is a thing your dad says when the Volvo is beyond repair.

Duke Nukem Forever is a game about an aging sexually insecure man, made by an aging sexually insecure man, sold to an audience of aging sexually insecure men, which perfectly captures their anxieties. Duke Nukem Forever is art.

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

You mistake people rolling their eyes at his dumb gimmick with anger.

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

Layer 2: Goons suggesting safe dick-inserting practices and comparing suggestions to eliminate the behavior that has put him at death's door twice to attempts to eliminate homosexuality.

TetsuoTW posted:

The Everest thread is brimming with the kind of person I never want to encounter in bars, airports, or life.

kalstrams posted:

Roro posted:

Wasn't he a chemistry teacher or something?

blunt for century posted:

Hotdogs have to be at least 30% pig balls.

Friend posted:

My mom just told my wife the other day that you should look for watermelons with a yellow spot because that means the ripened in the field more. I don't care for watermelon so this information is of no use to me but maybe it can be a benefit to you and your life (if it's even true; my mom believes a lot of poo poo)

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

I'm of the opinion that magic is no more ridiculous a belief than any other belief system but I also smoke a lot of weed and sometimes it makes me think I'm communicating with my boyfriend with my thoughts soooo there's that

cumshitter posted:

I hate the grammerly ads on youtube because I; as an English major, understand how to use punctuations.

I can even do the long list, where every sentence fragment is a a thing; I wish to poo poo cum; I will be making GBS threads cum; the cum is mine to poo poo; a long list is a complicated series of sentence fragments detailing stuff im too lazy to explain it

EorayMel posted:

CarpenterWalrus posted:

Don't let these idiots get you down, I'm right there with you. I see these morons in the office all day wearing their expensive button down shirts and tailored slacks and I laugh in their stupid faces. I buy a pack of shirts from Walmart every few years and that covers my shame just as well, if not better than, those foolish indulgences do and at 15000th of the cost! Like seriously, you fuckin sheep, what's the point of anything more than the bare loving minimum in this time on the dumb, gay earth?

Screaming Idiot posted:

Neil Gaiman is inferior in every way to Terry Pratchett and Good Omens was forgettable, at best.

EDIT: And Sandman was mostly pretentious fairy tale fanfiction with one of the most cringeworthy Death characterizations I've ever seen.

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

We're slightly past the Mieville chat, but since it was brought up, here's the blog post stating he was an abuser/exploiter/stalker of women in the field:

http://bidisha-online.blogspot.com/2012/12/emotional-violence-and-social-power.html

It doesn't mention him by name any longer due to apparent legal threats, but here's a different blog confirming it's meant to be about Mieville.

https://pearwaldorf.tumblr.com/post/174000008577/content-warning-for-china-mieville-i-was

Also I'm one of those for whom PSS was my first (only) Mieville book and it was good but not enough so to make me seek out any of his other works

KingNastidon posted:

Just finished after a pretty straight forward 40 hr playthrough. I don't know if the game was good but

Neito posted:

I absolutely, positively refuse to believe that that wasn't some masterful trolling attempt.

Moon Slayer posted:

Not necessarily a funny quote but I liked it and agreed with it.

Friend posted:

Freddie Wong bought Johnny Five Aces for $5,100.

The War Queer posted:

I knew Freddie Wong from his goofy YouTube videos before I knew he was a goon, lol

bony tony posted:

A bonobo would use it as a sex toy

RCarr posted:

Ok boomer

Syd Midnight posted:

There's people who are absolutely convinced that Twitter is doing this to them personally because they can think of no other reason that people would avoid or ignore them. They'll #hashtag about it and follow each other, which makes it even worse because they expect everyone else to think about & respond to their opinions but not vice versa, so they'll have hundreds or thousands of followers but still nobody gives a poo poo about them. Bot accounts simply add to the mayhem.

Pick posted:

just to be clear, it was not peanut sauce. it was wet peanut butter.

DandyLion posted:

The humorous approach should really be the norm rather than the exception. I think it resonates with a lot more people.

Bongo Bill posted:

DeterministicStoat

FactsAreUseless posted:

This just ableism. It's not a mental illness. They are a danger to an actual vulnerable group, children. They aren't victims at all in any way. They are people who have made the choice to hurt someone. "Mental disorder" is the way pedophiles justify their desires and actions. The virtuous pedophile idea is a myth.