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From broken fire hydrants to broken asssholes, we'll tell you how one unfortunate Valley resident cut a home intruder in half with a pressurized stream of cum firing from his rear end. Stay tuned to KCAL 9 I News At Nine after the break. *buttons blazer and engages in animated, silent small talk with co-host as camera dramatically zooms out and up* Weather. News. Sports. Cum. The KCAL 9 team has you covered. Absolutely smothered in it.
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May 26, 2019 08:11
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 10:46 |
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whoops wrong thread
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May 26, 2019 08:15
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i run an actual business, you know. middle stall of the rest room in the landmark C-Frenz gay bar in beautiful reseda. just use one of the stalls and ask for me through the my website is not pornographic, i swear, and contains actual, useful financial advice
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Jun 3, 2019 00:25
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Whatev posted:Mod of a drug forum ardently telling a dying heroin addict not to go to rehab and to instead "take a bunch of LSD or something": actually smart and good? it was legit a pretty sad situation because sunburnt aphid stopped posting after that they talked about feeling like they were close to something, some feeling like sinking into a warm bath and not having to breathe. and that was basically them describing a mild heroin overdose then they stopped posting.
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Jun 23, 2019 09:45
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I hate the grammerly ads on youtube because I; as an English major, understand how to use punctuations. I can even do the long list, where every sentence fragment is a a thing; I wish to poo poo cum; I will be making GBS threads cum; the cum is mine to poo poo; a long list is a complicated series of sentence fragments detailing stuff im too lazy to explain it
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Jul 1, 2019 00:40
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2mello is fun and I love his poo poo on video game tracks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnR4u43kSDk ' my name is robo I have metal joints beat me up and get 15 silver points
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Jul 1, 2019 00:44
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im actually a pretty good neighbor except for that one time i got so drunk i thought i was the guy from streetcar named desire and went to the parking lot and kept screaming "Sandy!!!!" at random people's balconies. yes i am aware her name is stella neighbors still asking who Sandy is and it's like man gently caress if i know you tell me
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Aug 11, 2019 03:23
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scott adams: i woke up at 3:30 and thought, what if the earth was the center of the solar system and mars revolved around the earth, but its odd orbit was caused by mars also moving in a circular motion? i call it adamaic astronomy
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Oct 10, 2019 19:15
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My favorite Hunter Thompson thing is that he convinced people that a Democratic candidate was high on a made up plant that he said hunters in Africa would chew while lying in the bush for days on end. Also his made up schedule which included taking LSD twice a day.  Which was a sort of in-joke nod to drug users, because your body builds up a short term tolerance to LSD fairly quickly. Doing it two days in a row has extremely diminished effects.
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Dec 14, 2019 20:38
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Crichton is an incredibly reactionary shithead and I've hated him since I was forced to read Andromeda Strain in an advanced English class. Before that I had read Airframe, which in light of the recent news about Boeing is especially ironic. The plot to Airframe is basically: Honest hard working female executive at the fictional Notte & Boeing is trying to figure out who is sabotaging their planes to make the company and the planes they lovingly craft to the highest safety standards look bad. One of the villains is a journalist who, if I recall correctly, states nearly verbatim: "I don't care if there is a problem with the plane's safety or not I am going to destroy your company and all the jobs you have created and become famous!" while Strong Female Executive pleads with them to consider all the fine people who rely on their products and employment. He's a total shithead in his views.
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Feb 18, 2020 08:13
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Also Andromeda Strain loving sucked because at least 1/8th of the book is about the decontamination procedure the scientists undergo to enter the government virus lab and Crichton just glazes over the medical enemas they receive in a couple sentences. Edit: If you really want a good book, read The Tale of the Body Snatcher by Anne Rice. In it, Lestat switches his super power and immortal vampire body with a mortal and there are absolutely no totally forseeable consequences to this. He spends several pages bitching about the indignity of having to take a poo poo, which really helps you understand his character and is based on Anne Rice's known struggles with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. cumshitter has a new favorite as of 09:53 on Feb 18, 2020 |
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Feb 18, 2020 09:07
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Eh! Frank posted:Lmao, this just reminded me of coming across the movie adaptation part-way through on TV as a kid. I never knew what movie it was until this post and looking at imdb to confirm it WAS a movie, but what other movies have endless scenes of the characters going through some complex decontamination process? Crichton ,just spends so much time talking about stuff that has no meaningful impact on the plot, which from what I can remember is about a bacteria or a virus that only lives in the uppermost part of the atmosphere, making it a non-threat, that eats through human flesh. They figure this out because for a fighter pilot crashes his jet and the mouth piece that attaches to his oxygen mask is, for some reason, made out of a fleshlike rubber material. They somehow figure this out from a crashed jet filled with jet fuel that destroyed the body. It might have been a virus, but viruses don't infect rubber so it had to be a bacteria. Which makes the idea that they are having trouble killing it less believable. There's a scene where they actually do find the cure, but the guy watching the results of 1,000 petri dishes falls asleep and he misses it. This is never revisited as far as I remember and they just find a different solution. There's just so much rambling poo poo that has no impact on anything that in retrospect seems like padding to satisfy a minimum page number for his publisher. Like Crichton even goes into loving detail about the woman who records the voice for the alarm in their science lab bedrooms, talking about how she's a nice old lady from Nevada who is in her 70's but sounds like a pleasant, sultry 20-something. I think my teacher just liked Crichton. I remember struggling to answer homework assignments because there is no deeper meaning to a Crichton book, it was just some rightwing weirdo regurgitating some poo poo he read in a popular science magazine with a terrible narrative tying his "I loving love science!" thoughts about how to clean someone's butthole and there was nothing to examine either culturally or within the text itself. Also in the movie it briefly shows a dead woman's breasts breasts for a moment and all the other boys in class really liked it but I didn't see how it advanced the narrative or had any substantial impact on the plot.
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Feb 18, 2020 11:20
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Posting my sig because it contains a funny picture I found in a cattle industry magazine on this subject.
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Feb 21, 2020 19:01
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hallelujah posted:i, a policeman, am here to answer all your questions and clear up any misconceptions you may have about my people. ask away how are you?
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Mar 13, 2020 07:03
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I can't quote it because the thread is closed but here's a link. My idiot son had his children call me up to wish their grandad another happy 49.75th birthday. It took all of my self control to not shout at them about how their father is a sexual deviant and a monster. I still ask my son when he is finally going to make the world's youngest grandfather and adopt a gay child for me. His wife hates me, btw.
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Apr 4, 2020 03:12
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The two things that make me sad in life are heterosexuality and the fact that nobody else will ever understand my incredibly powerful sense of self-importance. Other people can think I'm important, but it won't be the same for them, and that makes me sad.
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Apr 4, 2020 03:17
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I am 49.75 years young again, so obviously I worry about SIDS and if it might affect me.
cumshitter has a new favorite as of 06:06 on Apr 4, 2020 |
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Apr 4, 2020 06:03
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Free phiz kalifa
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Apr 4, 2020 17:09
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pentyne posted:This gimmick is almost an entire generation old. What the gently caress??? Are you implying that I am old enough to have been born, you piece of poo poo? I smoke four packs a day on the advice of my doctor just so I can look old enough to play a zygote.
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Apr 4, 2020 21:07
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It's tough being the youngest 49.75 years young single gay dad to ever be on Grindr. But I make it work. Please use my promo code ASSCUMAPRIL if you choose to make use of any of Grindr's premium Services, which include sorting by age and users who self identify as twinks
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Apr 4, 2020 21:28
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Like in case this wasn't obvious to our slow adult heterosexual Posters, it's really loving lol the guys who tag themselves as twinks on Grindr.
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Apr 4, 2020 21:35
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Dumb Lowtax posted:Where tf is Caro now anyway? You'd think they'd be back and posting a lot with all the widening interest in politics and everybody in quarantine. Did they rename themselves? I don't know a whole lot about Caro's exploits but I imagine that since his posting on SA was a factor in psyching him up into eventually getting into one of Assad's prisons that whatever mental support system he has is encouraging him not to post on forums. Or more likely the FBI/CIA just interviewed him and then shoved him out the door to become homeless. America.
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Apr 11, 2020 10:14
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I listend to the first minute and it's just a replaying of an interview he gave on 2/21 that his daughter put up. Jordan B. Peterson is dead everyone. We did it. We loving did it.
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Apr 12, 2020 02:05
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Literallly, this one guy is pruning the hardest dicks off the vine and I'm still trying to find a husband at the prime age of gay male virility of 49.75. Wow.
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Apr 16, 2020 08:19
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Oh my God I thought the mustache competition was a joke. Hahahaha
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Apr 17, 2020 21:21
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give me your money
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Oct 30, 2020 09:31
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Ugly In The Morning posted:Seriously one of my favorite posts on this site and if you say you wouldn’t watch that movie you’re lying to yourself. Lol Reminds me of a dumb movie idea I came up with while high where some frat bro physists go back in time to witness the birth of Christ and accidentally kill him. They draw straws to see who will replace Christ to preserve the time line knowing the loser dies on the cross. It ends with them visiting their buddy at Golgatha and putting a beer hat on their bro's head to ease his pain. They tell themselves they will come back and remove the beer hat but when they return to the present they see the Pope wearing one and decide that no, this is good.
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Feb 21, 2021 09:16
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In the comments for that hidden sauna video someone linked a story about a New Yorker finding a whole other apartment behind their bathroom mirror. https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/celebr...deo/ar-BB1ei2AK Why in the world would you tell your landlord? I'd see if I could possibly move into it and live there rent free. Hell, if the landlord doesn't know about it I'd consider renting it out myself.
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Mar 23, 2021 06:09
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MAKE NO BABBYS posted:Yeah, and then she tried to make it “Lil Nas X threatened to rape my family.” I loving hate her, she is awful. Gun girl's dad is also very supportive. So supportive that he's the one who photographs her sexy gun pics for thirsty old men.
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Mar 29, 2021 22:42
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Skulk Hogan posted:Pull up, thread. Pull up. I was curious so I looked up the park. The deer are so used to tourists that they'll bow to them to try and get rice crackers and wait with people at crosswalks to get across the street. I'd definitely hit this place up if I ever visited Japan. Although it's probably not a good idea to go from September to November when the male deer are horny.
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Apr 12, 2021 01:04
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The scene were Qutb sees students dancing at a highschool mixer but it's Robin Williams tugging at his collar shouting, "Wowie zowie, look at the ankles on HER!"
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Apr 18, 2021 08:09
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I always ask every Quebecois I meet whether it's true or not that French speakers from France think they speak 18th century peasant French just to gently caress with them. Not really, all of the Quebecois I've met have been mimes.
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Jun 6, 2021 10:54
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Melbourne has the third highest population of Greeks in the world, including cities in Greece. This is Chicago and Poles/the Polish language. 1.5 million Poles in Chicago, 1.8 million in Poland's capital city of Warsaw. I was going to make a joke about how Aussies are so casually racist they don't even consider the Aboriginal language worth learning but then I googled Aboriginal population statistics and it made me sad.
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Jun 6, 2021 11:47
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Australia is the only Commonwealth country that still doesn't have a treaty with their indigenous peoples, we're garbage Thinking about it I feel dumb for assuming the native peoples of Australia have one language, but also it's not like America has scrupulously honored its own treaties so everyone is awful.
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Jun 6, 2021 12:26
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Am reminded that supposedly the Southern accent, especially Appalachian, is actually closer to what old timey Shakespearean English sounded like than modern English speakers. (short version, everyone in England ended up patterning their accents after the nobility, especially with the rise of mass media) Hamlet apparently starts making more sense when you play him sounding like Gomer Pyle. Shakespeare was literally garbage written for drunks who bought standing room only tickets. There would be "Orange Girls" in the pits who were nominally there to sell oranges to drunks but were actually prostitues. A couple fun Shakespeare facts: -Servants would make money selling old clothes given to them by nobles to actor troupes as costumes, which is where troupes like Shakespeare's would get their fanciest costumes from. -Nobles could literally pay to have seats on the stage so people could see how fancy their newly tailored clothes were. This was extremely fancy, because your average viewer would only pay a few thruppance or hay'pennies or whatever to get a standing room ticket. -There is at least one historical account of an audience being so drunk and rowdy that they loved one joke so much that they threatened the actors to replay it about a dozen times before they were done laughing at it. Shakespearean plays are only fancy in retrospect. I learned a lot of this from a really fun college English professor who would tell us about how she taught Shakesepeare at a fancy Catholic school and she would constantly have to explain to them, "This was written by a Protestant who thought you were literal devils who worshiped the whore of Babylon."
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Jun 6, 2021 13:05
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Adam West and whoever played the Riddler once got drunk and walked into an LA orgy. Rather than participate they walked around in character, spouting lines and annoying all the people loving until they were kicked out. Edit: I was trying to look up more details but the original article just completely blows by Adam West casually dropping the story and made no attempts at follow up. cumshitter has a new favorite as of 08:11 on Jun 15, 2021 |
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Jun 15, 2021 08:08
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I want to read some golden age of Superman comics because from what I understand it was before Superman had any supervillains to face off against. So he'd do poo poo like declare war on cars in general and spend the day loving with drivers pretending to be run over or breaking into the local radio station to tell every driver in town he was going to destroy them.
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Jun 16, 2021 02:14
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I like the premise of "Superman has a slow day on the job."
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Jun 16, 2021 02:43
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I actually think SMG was right when he said Eyes Wide Shut was the last film Kubrick completed because it actually happened to him, which is why Kubrick was murdered while filming AI.
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Jun 21, 2021 01:17
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 10:46 |
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darkwasthenight posted:If you think Marmite is a grim reflection of British wartime cuisine then I invite you all to try Camp Coffee. Not only does it taste like poo poo but the caffeine content is neglible as it's 4% coffee extract padded out with lots of sugar and chicory. Definitely charged with tons of classic British racism but it appears to be a sepoy, or Indian soldier serving under the British Raj. hosed up that they made him some conscripted Scot's valet (and from what I understand the Brits never thought more of the Scots despite their history of military service) and also for some reason they kept making him whiter.
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Jul 13, 2021 04:54
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