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Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

American History class, 2087

"Test marks were pretty good, everybody, nice job. Though everyone got question #9 wrong. We went over it several times so that was a little... *sigh* ...surprising. I know it's confusing that most of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudi Arabian but we did not go to war with them, no. Some of you said Russia but that was a couple decades later. A worrisome number of you said France? Was that just a pure guess? I have no idea where that came from. There were even a few "Canada" answers. I know Canada doesn't exist anymore but that wasn't because of us."

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Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

It's like that time a dude shot and killed a bunch of elementary school students and America decided enough was enough and enacted tougher gun control.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

TheRagamuffin posted:

I see it a lot lately on Twitter. The textual equivalent of overemphasizing every syllable to try to make someone understand/pay attention.

e: Used with Who Is John Galt makes it the ultimate libtard tweet if tweets could be 141+ characters.

Textual equivalent of actually clapping your hands while talking.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Hogge Wild posted:

if you aren't asian like me you aren't allowed to use yellow smilies

Oh, I thought you said similes at first. Was disappointed that I was going to have to stop adding "...like an Asian" after all my insults.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Toronto goons try to divine the mysteries of the city's only "slurp ramp". After many posts (I couldn't post `em all), shadow puppet of a finally provides a definitive answer and then brings the [bath]house down with a Photoshop.

bring back old gbs posted:

that eastern promises fight scene is how i picture the inside of steamworks

Millow posted:

Steamworks has a suck-ramp though


Lobok posted:

Is a slurp-ramp like a booze luge? Or a traversable incline connecting two levels where you can get a beej?

shadow puppet of a posted:

Amazing that the booze luge was the one I'd never heard of before and my first reaction was "that's unhygienic"

MA-Horus posted:

can someone please explain what a slurp ramp is

I don't know if I really want to know but I need to know

Improbable Lobster posted:

slurp ramp
A raised platform with holes allows men to give or receive fellatio anonymously. Found in a dark room with minimal lighting in establishments catering to "kinky sex."

shadow puppet of a posted:

I envision that it looks more like this.



Improbable Lobster posted:

Maybe it's a headfirst slide



Improbable Lobster posted:



I still think it's a slide of some sort

shadow puppet of a posted:

It seems that Pivo is the most knowledge about about slurp ramps in here. He had several of the dimensions correct, no handles, no drains, no slides, no actual ramps.






Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?


Don't know what this guy was thinking when even Jesus himself couldn't break some wood to save his life.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

wouldn't have been a very good sacrifice if he did, would he

He wasn't even capable of doing it. According to the Prophecy, wood would be his downfall. That's why he trained to become a carpenter: he was preparing. He just didn't figure on him having to break the wood by hand.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

placenta lasagna

I've heard of dick cheese but this is just going too far.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

I was glad to have played the straight man.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

At first I was too afraid to throw rocks but then I got a little boulder.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Dissing our puns but then making a pun like yours takes some real stones, buddy.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

I always thought it meant to go do something pointless (and by doing so get out of my sight / stop bothering me).

Seems I was right but there's also the dirtier version.

http://blogs.chicagotribune.com/news_columnists_ezorn/2012/02/whats-so-bad-about-pounding-sand.html

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

toanoradian posted:

Have an 'Evil' title for all Republican politicians, then add "Lesser" as a suffix for everyone else.

The ones at the top need something like "Arch-" as a prefix.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

I love the idea of Superman going "upp, upp, och Bort!"

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Facebook Aunt posted:

Games naturally lead to trying to min-max society. Like Dwarf Fortress taught me women shouldn't be allowed in the military, because they will charge into battle carrying babies.

Seems like it would be terrifying to battle against them. Buncha MILFs (Moms I'd Loathe to Fight).

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Any series that centres on kids has adults who are incompetent or terrifying or terrifyingly incompetent.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

I call bullshit on that train post. Pretty sure the plural of Prius is not Prius.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

All Roads Lead to Trump

I'm guessing all the infrastructure Trump supports will lead directly in and out of his properties. The rest can crumble.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

honda whisperer posted:

I'm stealing this, it is amazing.

Stealing it? C'mon, it shouldn't be that hard to cite the bibliographical information. I forget, which one is easier for messageboard posts: MLA or Chicago style?

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Aphrodite posted:

Whether pizza or references, Chicago style is never the answer.

But it is for hot dogs!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Dick Trauma posted:

“PUT PAPERCLIP THROUGH URETHRA AND PUNCTURED THROUGH THE SHAFT OF PENIS”

A fresh idea, using paperclips, but I prefer the staples of the genre.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Krankenstyle posted:

just dump your food on the floor and eat it off of the floor like a animal you piece of poo poo

A timeless classic.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Rhymenoserous posted:

That's just because goons are fact listing autistic weirdos. We used to have a lot of porn threads in PYF and goons would post something like "Help me find the one with the redhead who had a mole on her butt" and before the post could even be finished someone said "Gotcha: It's flaming redheads volume 2, here's some tube links, this is the girls name, her bio and a PO box you can send her favorite candies too. It's pixie sticks by the way."

You think it's alarming someone can remember a movie? Brother some of the vague porn descriptions given followed up by someone finding the exact video within 30 seconds? That poo poo was downright weird.

And then on the opposite end (pun intended), there's goon face-blindness. A porn actress with a mole on her butt is immediately recognizable but a famous, household name, mainstream actress with a mole on her face is an unknowable trickster goddess who can assume many forms.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Trig Discipline posted:

Well if you've got a better way to convince rich people to kill themselves I'm all ears, buddy. :colbert:

Fentanyl in cocaine is probably a better bet.

You would have some collateral damage, though.

Or hell, look at all the unsafe poo poo Gwyneth Paltrow peddles. Maybe she's secretly just trying to kill off white women?

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Tiggum posted:

I think I've seen that exact same joke in about half a dozen TV shows.

Wow, X-Men comics are more influential than I thought.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

They might have been running off a regulated pulsing DC from the central computer, so they could be adjusted forward by increasing the frequency to advance, and I guess an inverse polarity signal to turn it back.

But the concentration of negative tachyons would have specifically prevented any attempts to reverse polarity!

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

There was a horse in the RCMP stables called Eula. Apparently they let kids name the new foals, so some poor kid named a horse End-User License Agreement.

Hm, those cops better check that horse closely then. Otherwise they might get taken for a ride.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Sir Lemming posted:

I heard once someone tried to give their horse a really long, unpronounceable name, and then for some reason they could play unauthorized games on their Wii.

My friend's horse had a really long, unpronounceable name and one day just for fun I tried saying it backwards and that sent the horse back to its home dimension :sadwave:

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Half the reason why Steamed Hams works so well to riff on is that it's a short story. It's a full skit. No starting out of nowhere without context and no abrupt ends. You can twist and warp it into the most bizarre and abstract humour but at its core it's telling a little tale.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Gyro"

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

"Ornery Bean" in this thread and "Devil's Doorbell" in the Funny Pictures Thread. When it comes to the clitoris these threads are really rubbing off on each other.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

:wal: You're surprised that goons find the clitoris funny?
:stat: I'm surprised they can find it at all!
:wal: :stat: D'ohhh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaEC-lWSlmI

"Oh, we have to get these two together."



"I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous."

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Malachite_Dragon posted:

For a hot second my brain parsed that as 'people always complain about Pearl harbor' because of the capitalized Pearls, and I was like :psyduck: what the gently caress does batman have to do with pearl harbor

Ben Affleck, obviously.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

I'm guessing to stop bullets

Very tiny bullets.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Karate Bastard posted:

I wish people like that could get murdered using something really exotic, because then we could all join them in sarcastically shifting focus away from all those freak outlier ones that each got murdered using something really exotic.

I'm thinking kale bludgeoning. Cat grenades. Steam sale misadventure. Spoon misplacement. Obstruction of autoerotic longboarding. "Lint".

Well the Facebook aunt goes by Cooke Edoh so she's just asking to be thrown in an oven.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Gaukler posted:

Please don't steal my anime script.

I doubt you'll get it into production before my animated movie Mask of the Phantorgasm.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Jeza posted:

It's basically a little nod to him being inhuman, and also ties into the whole God complex things he has going on - being able to see multiple places at once.

I was thinking of angels in those scenes because the biblical ones had lots of eyes.

On a practical level, never mind what the movie was saying, did he not have better vision overall? Seeing things from multiple angles, and from cameras that can float and hover away from you, and I think he had multiple types of vision as well.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

spog posted:

His ex - wife invested all their money in Wonderhangers that filled up their house, unsold.

Was she trying to undercut Planned Parenthood?

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Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Decrepus posted:

That is the 'starving orphans' argument of sex.

I could be feeding orphans with my mouth...? Like regurgitating the way a bird feeds its young?

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