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American History class, 2087 "Test marks were pretty good, everybody, nice job. Though everyone got question #9 wrong. We went over it several times so that was a little... *sigh* ...surprising. I know it's confusing that most of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudi Arabian but we did not go to war with them, no. Some of you said Russia but that was a couple decades later. A worrisome number of you said France? Was that just a pure guess? I have no idea where that came from. There were even a few "Canada" answers. I know Canada doesn't exist anymore but that wasn't because of us."
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# ¿ Aug 22, 2017 14:20 |
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# ¿ Mar 29, 2024 09:20 |
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It's like that time a dude shot and killed a bunch of elementary school students and America decided enough was enough and enacted tougher gun control.
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# ¿ Sep 7, 2017 01:11 |
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TheRagamuffin posted:I see it a lot lately on Twitter. The textual equivalent of overemphasizing every syllable to try to make someone understand/pay attention. Textual equivalent of actually clapping your hands while talking.
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# ¿ Sep 13, 2017 18:14 |
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Hogge Wild posted:if you aren't asian like me you aren't allowed to use yellow smilies Oh, I thought you said similes at first. Was disappointed that I was going to have to stop adding "...like an Asian" after all my insults.
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# ¿ Sep 15, 2017 14:22 |
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Toronto goons try to divine the mysteries of the city's only "slurp ramp". After many posts (I couldn't post `em all), shadow puppet of a finally provides a definitive answer and then brings the [bath]house down with a Photoshop.bring back old gbs posted:that eastern promises fight scene is how i picture the inside of steamworks Millow posted:Steamworks has a suck-ramp though Moist von Lipwig posted:slurp-ramp Lobok posted:Is a slurp-ramp like a booze luge? Or a traversable incline connecting two levels where you can get a beej? shadow puppet of a posted:Amazing that the booze luge was the one I'd never heard of before and my first reaction was "that's unhygienic" MA-Horus posted:can someone please explain what a slurp ramp is Improbable Lobster posted:slurp ramp shadow puppet of a posted:I envision that it looks more like this. Improbable Lobster posted:Maybe it's a headfirst slide Pivo posted:maybe Improbable Lobster posted:
shadow puppet of a posted:It seems that Pivo is the most knowledge about about slurp ramps in here. He had several of the dimensions correct, no handles, no drains, no slides, no actual ramps.
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# ¿ Sep 16, 2017 16:34 |
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Don't know what this guy was thinking when even Jesus himself couldn't break some wood to save his life.
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# ¿ Sep 18, 2017 13:41 |
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DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:wouldn't have been a very good sacrifice if he did, would he He wasn't even capable of doing it. According to the Prophecy, wood would be his downfall. That's why he trained to become a carpenter: he was preparing. He just didn't figure on him having to break the wood by hand.
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# ¿ Sep 18, 2017 17:55 |
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:placenta lasagna I've heard of dick cheese but this is just going too far.
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# ¿ Sep 24, 2017 05:31 |
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I was glad to have played the straight man.
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# ¿ Oct 20, 2017 04:08 |
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At first I was too afraid to throw rocks but then I got a little boulder.
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# ¿ Oct 26, 2017 14:23 |
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Dissing our puns but then making a pun like yours takes some real stones, buddy.
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# ¿ Oct 26, 2017 15:00 |
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I always thought it meant to go do something pointless (and by doing so get out of my sight / stop bothering me). Seems I was right but there's also the dirtier version. http://blogs.chicagotribune.com/news_columnists_ezorn/2012/02/whats-so-bad-about-pounding-sand.html
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# ¿ Oct 27, 2017 00:56 |
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toanoradian posted:Have an 'Evil' title for all Republican politicians, then add "Lesser" as a suffix for everyone else. The ones at the top need something like "Arch-" as a prefix.
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# ¿ Nov 1, 2017 14:41 |
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I love the idea of Superman going "upp, upp, och Bort!"
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# ¿ Nov 15, 2017 02:12 |
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Facebook Aunt posted:Games naturally lead to trying to min-max society. Like Dwarf Fortress taught me women shouldn't be allowed in the military, because they will charge into battle carrying babies. Seems like it would be terrifying to battle against them. Buncha MILFs (Moms I'd Loathe to Fight).
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# ¿ Nov 20, 2017 20:02 |
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Any series that centres on kids has adults who are incompetent or terrifying or terrifyingly incompetent.
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# ¿ Dec 15, 2017 05:02 |
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I call bullshit on that train post. Pretty sure the plural of Prius is not Prius.
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# ¿ Dec 19, 2017 16:54 |
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All Roads Lead to Trump I'm guessing all the infrastructure Trump supports will lead directly in and out of his properties. The rest can crumble.
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# ¿ Dec 19, 2017 19:24 |
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honda whisperer posted:I'm stealing this, it is amazing. Stealing it? C'mon, it shouldn't be that hard to cite the bibliographical information. I forget, which one is easier for messageboard posts: MLA or Chicago style?
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# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 15:13 |
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Aphrodite posted:Whether pizza or references, Chicago style is never the answer. But it is for hot dogs! (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 20:41 |
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Dick Trauma posted:“PUT PAPERCLIP THROUGH URETHRA AND PUNCTURED THROUGH THE SHAFT OF PENIS” A fresh idea, using paperclips, but I prefer the staples of the genre.
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# ¿ Dec 25, 2017 21:52 |
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Krankenstyle posted:just dump your food on the floor and eat it off of the floor like a animal you piece of poo poo A timeless classic.
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# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 17:04 |
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Rhymenoserous posted:That's just because goons are fact listing autistic weirdos. We used to have a lot of porn threads in PYF and goons would post something like "Help me find the one with the redhead who had a mole on her butt" and before the post could even be finished someone said "Gotcha: It's flaming redheads volume 2, here's some tube links, this is the girls name, her bio and a PO box you can send her favorite candies too. It's pixie sticks by the way." And then on the opposite end (pun intended), there's goon face-blindness. A porn actress with a mole on her butt is immediately recognizable but a famous, household name, mainstream actress with a mole on her face is an unknowable trickster goddess who can assume many forms.
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# ¿ Jan 11, 2018 16:03 |
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Trig Discipline posted:Well if you've got a better way to convince rich people to kill themselves I'm all ears, buddy. Fentanyl in cocaine is probably a better bet. You would have some collateral damage, though. Or hell, look at all the unsafe poo poo Gwyneth Paltrow peddles. Maybe she's secretly just trying to kill off white women?
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# ¿ Jan 15, 2018 21:13 |
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Tiggum posted:I think I've seen that exact same joke in about half a dozen TV shows. Wow, X-Men comics are more influential than I thought.
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# ¿ Jan 16, 2018 15:01 |
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:They might have been running off a regulated pulsing DC from the central computer, so they could be adjusted forward by increasing the frequency to advance, and I guess an inverse polarity signal to turn it back. But the concentration of negative tachyons would have specifically prevented any attempts to reverse polarity!
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# ¿ Jan 18, 2018 15:54 |
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:There was a horse in the RCMP stables called Eula. Apparently they let kids name the new foals, so some poor kid named a horse End-User License Agreement. Hm, those cops better check that horse closely then. Otherwise they might get taken for a ride.
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# ¿ Jan 19, 2018 19:35 |
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Sir Lemming posted:I heard once someone tried to give their horse a really long, unpronounceable name, and then for some reason they could play unauthorized games on their Wii. My friend's horse had a really long, unpronounceable name and one day just for fun I tried saying it backwards and that sent the horse back to its home dimension
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# ¿ Jan 19, 2018 20:43 |
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Half the reason why Steamed Hams works so well to riff on is that it's a short story. It's a full skit. No starting out of nowhere without context and no abrupt ends. You can twist and warp it into the most bizarre and abstract humour but at its core it's telling a little tale.
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# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 20:26 |
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Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Gyro"
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# ¿ Feb 2, 2018 01:16 |
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"Ornery Bean" in this thread and "Devil's Doorbell" in the Funny Pictures Thread. When it comes to the clitoris these threads are really rubbing off on each other.
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# ¿ Feb 4, 2018 00:20 |
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You're surprised that goons find the clitoris funny? I'm surprised they can find it at all! D'ohhh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
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# ¿ Feb 4, 2018 00:29 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaEC-lWSlmI "Oh, we have to get these two together." "I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous."
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# ¿ Feb 4, 2018 00:37 |
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Malachite_Dragon posted:For a hot second my brain parsed that as 'people always complain about Pearl harbor' because of the capitalized Pearls, and I was like what the gently caress does batman have to do with pearl harbor Ben Affleck, obviously.
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# ¿ Feb 7, 2018 01:51 |
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Ichabod Sexbeast posted:I'm guessing to stop bullets Very tiny bullets.
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# ¿ Feb 14, 2018 22:10 |
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Karate Bastard posted:I wish people like that could get murdered using something really exotic, because then we could all join them in sarcastically shifting focus away from all those freak outlier ones that each got murdered using something really exotic. Well the Facebook aunt goes by Cooke Edoh so she's just asking to be thrown in an oven.
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# ¿ Feb 17, 2018 17:51 |
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Gaukler posted:Please don't steal my anime script. I doubt you'll get it into production before my animated movie Mask of the Phantorgasm.
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# ¿ Mar 1, 2018 17:50 |
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Jeza posted:It's basically a little nod to him being inhuman, and also ties into the whole God complex things he has going on - being able to see multiple places at once. I was thinking of angels in those scenes because the biblical ones had lots of eyes. On a practical level, never mind what the movie was saying, did he not have better vision overall? Seeing things from multiple angles, and from cameras that can float and hover away from you, and I think he had multiple types of vision as well.
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# ¿ Mar 6, 2018 00:02 |
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spog posted:His ex - wife invested all their money in Wonderhangers that filled up their house, unsold. Was she trying to undercut Planned Parenthood?
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# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 18:32 |
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# ¿ Mar 29, 2024 09:20 |
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Decrepus posted:That is the 'starving orphans' argument of sex. I could be feeding orphans with my mouth...? Like regurgitating the way a bird feeds its young?
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# ¿ Mar 12, 2018 17:47 |